This is a Smythe, an NPC in a continuing homebrew game where Will and I started gaming together. He's a pompous, insecure, authoritative, and ineffective leader of the city watch. His appearance pretty much says it all.
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Smythe sighs as if his resources are being taxed to the point of exhaustion and nods. "I suppose you may." He rises and exits the room unceremoniously.
Smythe sighs with some annoyance but Mel's charm and elven heritage gain back some of the ground that was lost with this man when she and her friends began doing his job much better than he does! So he complies and writes out a letter for her, giving it his personal stamp and signature. I, Colonel Rubius Smythe, Commander of the Watch of Helm, do hereby attest and affirm that the bearers of this letter carry out legitimate inquiry into matters pertaining to state security. Cooperate with their investigations. He hands the letter over briskly. "That will suffice." When Mel asks of Albert, Smythe raises an eyebrow but elects to forgo comment. "He is on patrol and will return shortly."
The group heads out of the private room and toward the Guardhouse. The Colonel is speaking to some officers inside the entrance as you arrive. He looks at you with some distaste. "Ah. You again." He motions you into a private room. "I did not realize that His Grace's private mandate for you would result in such constant and tiresome appearances at my doorstep. What is the matter now?" He favors Brolin with an annoyed and incurious glare. "Along with guests. Delightful."
Perrin!:
Ev ponders this interesting tidbit. "So it's like me? Good at flying and sneaking around? Does it look like me but red?"
The colonel nods. "Yes I believe this interrogation is over. We will bring Mr. Donaldson to a secure cell and coordinate with the Bishop's administration to secure him."
Smythe looks uncertain but at firm nodding from Brother Thomas he agrees. "We will take the measures you describe to ensure his safety."
Smythe sighs in frustration with Mel. "You've had some remarkable success in a brief period of time but I know how to run an interrogation!" He crosses his arms in resigned dissatisfaction. "We'll try it your way first but if it doesn't get results quickly I will employ a more confrontational line of questioning."
Mel, Perrin, Kazador, and Hal appear rapidly in the guardhouse. Smythe is waiting with half a dozen guards. "You have proved most strange visitors to our city!" Smythe proclaims. "But I will happily receive another member of the Reapers into custody. I suppose you should be part of this interrogation." Some guards clap manacles on Hal and lead him into the biggest interrogation room while Smythe beckons for you to follow.
Smythe takes a look at the corpse. "I'll presume you didn't obtain any information. Nevertheless, the reward is yours. Coroner Fuller came by earlier. She arranged lodging for you at the Cozy Badger, a reputable inn and tavern very close to the guardhouse." He sniffs the air and coughs suddenly at the stench. "I'll leave you to that. Good day." He then turns on his heel and heads back toward his office.
When you arrive back at the guardhouse, the colonel is waiting for you. "My my. I heard you made quite the spectacle in my streets. It seems I owe you a bounty." He pays the bounty. "Did you obtain any useful information?"
Smythe nods at Mel's comment. "Yes these low-lifes seem to love ironic nicknames. He worked with the Reaps. As I said, they are full of irrational behaviors. Breaking into a jail! What on the Continent did he expect to find worth stealing in here?!"
Smythe nods distastefully. "Yes I suppose so. It isn't as if he has a family that would object."
Smythe steps up to you. "Well then, I suppose you have the rights of salvage. That man's cloak looks to be finely made, though the dark cloth is less than flattering." The first guard pipes up. "They have right to more than that,sir! I saw his face before the dwarf smashed it! That's Alric the Slow! Here, see the scars on his arm." The guard pulls back the man's sleeve, revealing a twisting net off scars on the dead man's forearm. Smythe looks at the group of you in surprise. "This man is wanted for murder and assassination. You are entitled to a substantial reward." He writes you a note for 12800 gp.
Smythe throws up his hands in frustration. "Well then what am I to do with this information?! As for your employment, I cannot offer you a position. But those are always available." He waves to some wanted posters with rewards attached for various criminals in town.
DC 20 perception for K and P:
One of the posters catches your eye but you're not sure why. DC 25 perception for K and P:
Daisy is listed with a 20,000 gp reward. It was somewhat difficult to recognize her as she clearly was disguised in her meeting with you. Smythe turns back to Mel and begins regaling her with the history of the architecture of the foyer. But after a few minutes, his precious tour is interrupted again. He turns with exasperation when he hears someone call out "Colonel Eustace Smythe!" But his frustration turns into surprise when he sees a woman wearing white robes bearing a gold-embroidered helmet. DC K Local: This is a herald of Claudius, Bishop of Helm.
Perrin and Kazador walk into a discussion of lockboxes, unsure why it's happening in the foyer. Ev begins chittering and chattering to Perrin. Speak with master:
"She went behind the tavern into an alley. I was SO SNEAKY! She didn't even see me a little bit. Then she opened a metal hole in the ground and went down. It looked so nice and dark down there.... but I thought you would want me to come back so I did!!!" She seems pretty pleased both with her stealth and her self-control.
Smythe arches an eyebrow in surprise. "That is odd indeed. Where is this malefactor now?" He turns to Mel with a shrug. "What but more evidence of my previous conclusion?"
Smythe nods. "Of course, of course. Well I'm sure whatever this fellow has to say, it's nothing that requires extreme discretion nor a lengthy conversation." He turns to Roet. "Well! What is it about the robberies? I know there have been a string of them!" The head of the watch looks very impatient and unpleasant.
Colonel Smythe replies to Mel "Capital! We will start with the entrance." Smythe brings you downstairs and begins pointing out minor architectural elements of his building with great pride. Upon overhearing the roughly-dressed man, he snorts. "I suppose you should address myself..." He looks with concern at Mel, not wanting to end his beloved tour prematurely.
Smythe knocks on Mel's door. "I thought perhaps you were lonely. I would be happy to give you a tour of our Central Guardhouse here, should that interest you." DC 15 SM: He clearly wants the opportunity to show off his little domain.
Mel: Smythe nods. "Of course, of course." He rings a small bell on his desk which is answered by a guard. Smythe places you in a guest room with a guard outside the door. There are windows but they don't appear to open.
Mel: Smythe warms up to a topic near r his interests "Why yes indeed! The countless accounts of brilliant visionaries shaping the future of the entire world, not just Elven lands. Visionaries such as Elras, Findal, and Mallin. How their deeds changed the world." Mel notes these as three statesmen who sought the unification of Elven lands, including the assimilation of the Avinoax.
Mel: Smythe's lips curls somewhat as the topic shifts to children's fairy tales. He's clearly having trouble believing someone as sophisticated as an elf would want to talk of such nonsense. He peers carefully at Mel's face and ears as if to check to see if she really is an elf. Finding nothing to confirm his suspicions, he takes a large, buttered, bite of the freshly-baked bread and chews it. Then he shrugs resignedly and replies "Tales of Jack the Giant Killer, the Well of the World's End, and others like them. But early in my adolescence I became enamored of the great histories written by the historians of your people. The works of Silvas, in particular, drew my attention."
Mel: Smythe twirls his fork lazily in the air. "Perhaps... Who knows?" He straightens up somewhat unhappily at the mention of that meddlesome Coroner who forced him to stick to the law. "Oh... well she has a somewhat odd position as both a coroner and a tax collector... I believe she must report to the Chief Coroner and the Minister of Taxation, both of whom are supervised by the Warden of Helm." He waves his hand as if to brush off matters of state. "But tell me more about growing up as an Elven child. How does one handle the pressures of knowing you will likely live for many centuries in the foremost nation of the world?"
Mel: Smythe nods. "A regional criminal organization. Despite their dramatic title, a small fraction of their crumes are murders. Lately, they've been oddly obsessed with robbing lockboxes from offices. It has been most odd and disconcerting. Far less efficient than they have normally been as the lockboxes often hold only small sums..." He shrugs. "But criminals must be possessed of such inferior natures that even the clever ones often behave erratically."
Mel: Smythe positively leaps at the chance to complain. "Oh it is positively maddening!! You've no idea how difficult it is to maintain order and decorum when, just as my men are about to apprehend a theif, we are ordered off by the Bishop's seal because he is 'an informant.' As if they were getting any closer to figuring out what the Reaps were up to!!! Overreaching bunglers!"
Mel:
Smythe looks somewhat annoyed. "Well... the Master of Information oversees more... discrete matters of 'law enforcement.' To be frank, his role seems only vaguely associated with law and mostly with taking whatever actions he deems most suitable. Of course, the Bishop trusts him quite a bit as they are old friends."
Mel: Smythe greatly enjoys the conversation, despite it's superficial nature. Clearly, he is more interested in the fact that he's having dinner with an elf than what is actually being said. Off-hand, he exposits "I hold the highest position in Helmian law enforcement after the Warden of Helm, who reports directly to the Bishop. I speak only, of course, of the conventional branch of law enforcement." He nibbles delicately on a chicken breast.
Smythe nods and smiles, though he is somewhat confused at what may be passing between Melira and the others. "Of course, of course. I'll have some fine brandy brought up along with a meal and we can have civilized conversation." The others pass out onto the street where Hannady bids them a respectful farewell. Melira: Smythe reclines in his chair at his desk grinning broadly and begins to ply you with reasonably good food, brandy, and questions about your life, interests, and experiences. He seems to eat up every word you say.
Smythe looks entirely fed up with being corrected. He's much more accustomed to people bowing to his authority. He waves rudely "Fine! Fine! I recognize your authority to remain involved in the investigation! As for this, unusual young woman, I agree that she should be kept in protective custody at the very least. But I would hate to inconvenience you when you have such important duties to discharge. I would, of course, be willing to host her myself." He smiles broadly toward Mel. DC 10 SM:
Smythe seems like he wants to spend more time with this strange young elven lass. The flush of his cheeks reveals he may have some un-professional interest in her.
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