How would you address a god?

[Yqatuba]

I assume you would call them one of their titles or possibly "your (un)holiness" depending their alignment, rather than by name.

[VoodistMonk]

Simply as "Dude".

[Albatoonoe]

It really depends. Iomedae, Abadar, Pharasma, and Asmodeus probably prefer polite fealty. The kind of "m'lord" type of stuff. Desna, Cayden, and Shelyn are probably cool with a more casual approach.

[avr]

"Goodbye."

Talking to gods never helps. It should be on the Evil Overlord list.

[Yqatuba]

avr wrote:

"Goodbye."

Talking to gods never helps. It should be on the Evil Overlord list.

What if said god kills you for ignoring their questions? (As I imagine some evil gods or even some of the nastier neutral gods (such as Gorum) might).

[blahpers]

*eyeroll*

[Tim Emrick]

(I'm having trouble framing a serious answer to this because I'm flashing back to my Buffy/Angel PC who was notorious for telling gods just what she thought of them. Shockingly, she was still alive when the campaign was shelved!)

[DungeonmasterCal]

"Oh, Lord. You are so big."

[Weables]

Carefully.

[Parseth]

Yo, sup?

[The NPC]

Politely.

[Magus Black]

Erastil: "Ok...I guess I'll hear you out."

Asmodeus: "I would like this whole conversation recorded in writing if you don't mind...and even if you do mind I still want it in writing."

Calistria, Densa, Iomedae, Sarenrae, Shelyn: "*!@# off!"

Nocticula: "Die."

Everyone Else: "Summarize what you want in 20 words or less."

[Yidhra, Goddess of Paradoxes]

Yidhra, Yid, Yiddy, Lady of Paradoxes, Giver of Hot Dogs, Oh Gods Get Her Away, or pretty much anything else you'd like. o wo I'm not too particular about this.

But more seriously, most deities are probably very tolerant of any common titles they have.

[CorvusMask]

I'm bit confused why would you tell most of good aligned gods BESIDES Erastil to go away :p

Also, I'm surprised at how majority of players here are like "Höhöhöhö, my character is total badass who would tell off gods even though they are cosmic power houses who could erase my existence if they wanted to". Like in real life, there is no way you would do that because it'd be like meeting president/king of country but even worse :p

[Bjørn Røyrvik]

Depends on the god. Some probably want a unique, exaggerated titles and constant epithets to stroke their egos (Oh magnificent One, Unparalleled in all the Multivers, please ....) Others are probably fine with a simple "Lord" or "Great One" or something.

On the subject of PCs telling gods to stuff it:

:

In one game the gods came to earth for certain reasons, and rather than stop a pointless civil war started taking sides. My character was fed up with this b++*~++&, and strode up to them and said something to the effect of:

"What the hell?!? Why are you doing this? You're supposed to be better than us and You squabble like children, wasting the lives of your followers for petty pride. Now act like gods worthy of worship!"

Nevermind that speaking in this way was grave blasphemy and no one would have batted an eye if my PC and his entire clan was eradicated for such insolence, While the gods never actually admitted their mistake, they did stop the fighting and got one with the business they had come to do. And intense religious debates and exaggerated plays sprung up about the whole incident.

[Darigaaz the Igniter]

Oh great, it's you

Parseth wrote:

Yo, sup?

Or that

[Delightful]

Iomedae: *Saluting* - "Reporting for duty, ma'am!"
Erastil: *Hugging* - "Hi Grandpa Erastil!"
Torag: *Nervously rubbing neck* "Um... I don't know how dwarves greet each other. What am I supposed to do here? Touch beards?"
Shelyn: *Gawking like a moron* - "Oh wow... I'm sure everyone tells you this but you're really, really, really pretty, miss."
Sarenrae: *Shielding eyes* - "Greetings, Your Holiness."
Cayden Cailean: *Fist bump and hug* - "Sup, bro. Wanna grab a drink before we go and punch some Asmodeans?"
Desna: "Sooooooooooo... Are you secretly a Great Old God? Also, could you put on some clothes? Hate to be a prude but you're... Kind of distracting and it makes it hard for me to talk. Or think, really."
Abadar: "Hello, sir. Do you think you explain to me what a mortgage-backed security is?"
Irori: *Bows head respectfully* "I'm honored by your presence and wish to learn much from you, Irori-Sensei."
Pharasma: Soooooooooo... Can I ask what happened to Aro- Hey, wait, what do you mean I gotta go back to the beginning of the line!?"
Gozreh: "Sorry about the whole pollution thing. I try to recycle but there isn't always a blue or green bin around."
Nethys: "Don't blast me. Please?"
Calistria: "Ok, weird question but you wouldn't be related to girl called Sera would you? She's an elf from another planet that likes bees and getting revenge on people."
Gorum: *Throws up peace sign* - "Ever tried to give peace a chance, Mister Lord in Iron?"
Asmodeus: *Drunkenly tries to punch him in the face*
Zon-Kuthon: "Nope. Nope, nope, nope." *Precedes to run away in terror*
Urgathoa: *Dry heaving* "Oh my god! Where the Hell is that smell something from and those flies! Oh, it's you... Awkward."
Norgorber: *Scratching head* "Huh? I thought he would be here. Let's get out here before- ARGH!" *Suddenly stabbed in the back by Norgorber in disguise*
Lamashtu: "Stay the heck way from me, you jackal-faced baby eater!"
Rovagug: Can't greet or address Rovagug because he's trapped in the Dead Vault. Also, he's not very talkative because he's an omnicidal monster.

[Meirril]

Honestly, depends on my character's personality. They are definitely not all alike. Oh, and it would depend on the god as well. They all have some kind of reputation.

[Adjoint]

Comic for illustrative purposes

I think that flabbergasted "Oh my god..." isn't a bad start.

[Fuzzy-Wuzzy]

To address a god, simply lay it out flat on a table or other convenient surface. Then use a pen to write the name of the intended recipient in the middle of the god, and under it write where the recipient lives. Put your own name and residence in the upper left corner of the god in case it needs to be returned. And don't forget to stick a stamp in the god's upper right corner, or it won't go anywhere!

[Tarik Blackhands]

CorvusMask wrote:

I'm bit confused why would you tell most of good aligned gods BESIDES Erastil to go away :p

Also, I'm surprised at how majority of players here are like "Höhöhöhö, my character is total badass who would tell off gods even though they are cosmic power houses who could erase my existence if they wanted to". Like in real life, there is no way you would do that because it'd be like meeting president/king of country but even worse :p

I dunno, it certainly explains the many meany-pants WotR Iomadae meetings if the general attitude toward greeting gods is to immediately mouth them off.

[Chromantic Durgon <3]

Tarik Blackhands wrote:

CorvusMask wrote:

I'm bit confused why would you tell most of good aligned gods BESIDES Erastil to go away :p

Also, I'm surprised at how majority of players here are like "Höhöhöhö, my character is total badass who would tell off gods even though they are cosmic power houses who could erase my existence if they wanted to". Like in real life, there is no way you would do that because it'd be like meeting president/king of country but even worse :p

I dunno, it certainly explains the many meany-pants WotR Iomadae meetings if the general attitude toward greeting gods is to immediately mouth them off.

Quote from discworld which I think fairly artfully depicts the side of the argument you don’t seem to understand.

The quote comes from a morally grey Machiavellian character.

The Patrician took a sip of his beer. “I have told this to few people, gentlemen, and I suspect I never will again, but one day when I was a young boy on holiday in Uberwald I was walking along the bank of a stream when I saw a mother otter with her cubs. A very endearing sight, I’m sure you will agree, and even as I watched, the mother otter dived into the water and came up with a plump salmon, which she subdued and dragged on to a half-submerged log. As she ate it, while of course it was still alive, the body split and I remember to this day the sweet pinkness of its roes as they spilled out, much to the delight of the baby otters who scrambled over themselves to feed on the delicacy. One of nature’s wonders, gentlemen: mother and children dining upon mother and children. And that’s when I first learned about evil. It is built into the very nature of the universe. Every world spins in pain. If there is any kind of supreme being, I told myself, it is up to all of us to become his moral superior.”

In a world where gods exist and evil is rife you can’t expect none worshippers who are good to think gods are all that worthy of respect.

[Tarik Blackhands]

Chromantic Durgon <3 wrote:

Tarik Blackhands wrote:

CorvusMask wrote:

I'm bit confused why would you tell most of good aligned gods BESIDES Erastil to go away :p

Also, I'm surprised at how majority of players here are like "Höhöhöhö, my character is total badass who would tell off gods even though they are cosmic power houses who could erase my existence if they wanted to". Like in real life, there is no way you would do that because it'd be like meeting president/king of country but even worse :p

I dunno, it certainly explains the many meany-pants WotR Iomadae meetings if the general attitude toward greeting gods is to immediately mouth them off.

Quote from discworld which I think fairly artfully depicts the side of the argument you don’t seem to understand.

The quote comes from a morally grey Machiavellian character.

The Patrician took a sip of his beer. “I have told this to few people, gentlemen, and I suspect I never will again, but one day when I was a young boy on holiday in Uberwald I was walking along the bank of a stream when I saw a mother otter with her cubs. A very endearing sight, I’m sure you will agree, and even as I watched, the mother otter dived into the water and came up with a plump salmon, which she subdued and dragged on to a half-submerged log. As she ate it, while of course it was still alive, the body split and I remember to this day the sweet pinkness of its roes as they spilled out, much to the delight of the baby otters who scrambled over themselves to feed on the delicacy. One of nature’s wonders, gentlemen: mother and children dining upon mother and children. And that’s when I first learned about evil. It is built into the very nature of the universe. Every world spins in pain. If there is any kind of supreme being, I told myself, it is up to all of us to become his moral superior.”

In a world where gods exist and evil is rife you can’t expect none worshippers who are good to think gods are all that worthy of respect.

I frankly find that a very silly point. You know what other types of gods are in Pathfinder? Evil ones. Doing evil things. I can't exactly go around not respecting Io for not making a perfect world when Asmodeus and co are just jabbing people with pitchforks and are of equal or greater power than the Good ones. And even then, even if you don't respect them, I imagine even the int 7 barbarian has enough sense of self-preservation to not mouth off the omnipotent (as far as he's concerned anyway) being in their house in their presence. I may not like Asmodeus as a good person but something tells me even the local Paladin isn't going to start calling him a horned doofus if circumstances force him into a direct audience with him at least on the merit Mr Paladin Pants doesn't want to get vaporized on the spot.

[Kayerloth]

Meirril wrote:

Honestly, depends on my character's personality. They are definitely not all alike. Oh, and it would depend on the god as well. They all have some kind of reputation.

This, very much this.

Which god, which character, at what level is that character, under what circumstances? My future Loremaster at 6th level will react quite a bit different from his 27th level future self. In the campaigns and settings I am familiar the deities are not omnipotent and in fact some would be barely distinguishable from my Loremaster in many respect. Even when not statted out there is usually a presumed power and capabilities difference between the gods, demigods and various unique and extremely powerful creatures of the Multiverse. Morgan the Holy Seeker of Kelemvor is going to react vastly different to Kelemvor than he would, for instance, Cyric (the nemesis, betrayer and foe of Kelemvor). He became a priest of Kelemvor after meeting Kelemvor in a Living City campaign adventure and near as can recall (this was 20 some years ago) very little was said. He essentially replied to the gods question by saying he neither feared nor welcomed death and allowed Kelemvor to strike him down. Of course it was designed as a test, which he passed and hence became a priest in the newly forming religion.

[PossibleCabbage]

I feel like *meeting a god* is such a rare occurrence that there isn't really a standard and understood etiquette for this sort of encounter. So unless you're kissing up and using a lot of flowery honorifics (which they will probably see through instantly, but might not dislike) you can probably just be direct and forthright.

Like if they are meeting you they probably had something in mind for you specifically and they aren't just there to shower you with wealth and power, so a folksy "So, what can I do for you?" won't go amiss.

[William Werminster]

Ask Kratos, trust me he is a nice guy.

[Chromantic Durgon <3]

Tarik Blackhands wrote:

I frankly find that a very silly point. You know what other types of gods are in Pathfinder? Evil ones. Doing evil things. I can't exactly go around not respecting Io for not making a perfect world when Asmodeus and co are just jabbing people with pitchforks and are of equal or greater power than the Good ones. And even then, even if you don't respect them, I imagine even the int 7 barbarian has enough sense of self-preservation to not mouth off the omnipotent (as far as he's concerned anyway) being in their house in their presence. I may not like Asmodeus as a good person but something tells me even the local Paladin isn't going to start calling him a horned doofus if circumstances force him into a direct audience with him at least on the merit Mr Paladin Pants doesn't want to get vaporized on the spot.

Actually you can hold good gods to account for the the s!~# they do.

The are good gods of war, their are good gods who discriminate based on race, Sarenrea has a massive following in the biggest slaveing nations in the world, she still empowers them with her domains

There are good gods that expect you to fight and die in their holy wars but when was the last time any of them sacrificed anything? They take and demand and never give unless it’s in there interest.

Mouthing off in front of a bad god is one thing, but if a good god is actually a paragon of good, then there should be very little risk to what is the equivalent of a grain of sand mouthing of at them

Unless they’re a petty little murder baby bloated with cosmic power who cares more about their ego than they do about any of the morality and good they claim to represent.

To answer the question posed in the thread, it depends on the character and god in question.

To address you, Your failure to understand other people’s reaction a god doesn’t have to mean they idiots or trying to look cool. Perhaps it means you’re failing to look at the argument from any position other than your own. The position I’m taking in this argument isn’t even my own opinion, I’m just trying to explain where I think a lot of people in this thread are coming from. And calling it silly is your failing, not there’s.

[Yqatuba]

Personally I think most characters would be a bit scared if they met a god in person (even a good god). That said, if you met an evil god and knew they were going to kill you I could see spitting in their face as a final act of Defiance.

[Yuugasa]

What are your preferred pronouns?

[blahpers]

CorvusMask wrote:

I'm bit confused why would you tell most of good aligned gods BESIDES Erastil to go away :p

Also, I'm surprised at how majority of players here are like "Höhöhöhö, my character is total badass who would tell off gods even though they are cosmic power houses who could erase my existence if they wanted to". Like in real life, there is no way you would do that because it'd be like meeting president/king of country but even worse :p

I can assure you, if I met the president/king of many countries, I'd be much ruder than "eyeroll".

In any case, it's a false equivalence. A god is assumed to have complete control over your fate. Nothing you can do can resist it. So why bother pretending?

[EvilAardvark]

Greetings, junior colleague.

[Soulgear]

I generally start out with: PO BOX...

[UnArcaneElection]

Like this.

[Anguish]

"Mom?"

[Meraki]

Anguish wrote:

"Mom?"

That is, in fact, exactly what one of my PCs in

Spoiler:

Wrath of the Righteous

ended up doing, after a certain revelation. :-)

I currently have a Starfinder character whose god is that same former PC (good ol' divine source). If he met him, he'd probably call him "darling" at some point, just like he does everyone else. And then he'd probably flail a bit before realizing his god found it hilarious.

He's already met his god's herald and called her "dearest," so it's only a matter of time, really.

[Bjørn Røyrvik]

"Daddy"
"Mommy"
"Sweetie"
"Auntie"
"Uncle"
"Brother"
"Sister"
"Honey"
[daughter/son]
"g$+&%!mit, get back here you little brat!"

All these have occurred in my games.
And if/when my current players' characters ascend you can add the perpendicular pronoun to the list.

[DeathlessOne]

As one of my characters said while recounting the story of his encounter with a god, "Do not seek to garner the attention of a deity. If you do, get uninvolved as quickly as you can. If you can't, be respectful and don't say anything unless directly asked a question. Don't lie. And then get the hell out of there."

[Ryze Kuja]

I'm suddenly reminded of Ghostbusters.

[Nezzmith]

The Gods have never shown up at my table. We figured the purpose of the Divine Heralds fills that role, so typically they are the ones to speak to the PCs. And the exchanges are usually very well liked, as the voice of the god treats the PCs as equals instead of lesser.

[Arachnofiend]

Like basically everything involved with the Golarion pantheon, depends on the god. For example:

Iomedae: "Oh holy Inheritor, I beseech thee for thy wisdom and thy blessing."

Cayden Cailean: "Yo bro what's up?"

[DominusMegadeus]

Arachnofiend wrote:

Iomedae: "Oh holy Inheritor, I beseech thee for thy wisdom and thy blessing."

"IF YOU FOUND AN ORC BABY WOULD YOU KILL IT DO YOU CATCH THE VILLAIN OR SAVE THE GIRL WHAT DID I GET FOR MY THIRD BIRTHDAY!? TIME'S UP!"

*120 Sonic Damage*

"I'M LAWFUL GOOD BY THE WAY!"

[Leitner]

DominusMegadeus wrote:

Arachnofiend wrote:

Iomedae: "Oh holy Inheritor, I beseech thee for thy wisdom and thy blessing."

"IF YOU FOUND AN ORC BABY WOULD YOU KILL IT DO YOU CATCH THE VILLAIN OR SAVE THE GIRL WHAT DID I GET FOR MY THIRD BIRTHDAY!? TIME'S UP!"

*120 Sonic Damage*

"I'M LAWFUL GOOD BY THE WAY!"

That's pretty much not even slightly how that encounter is written.

[blahpers]

DominusMegadeus wrote:

Arachnofiend wrote:

Iomedae: "Oh holy Inheritor, I beseech thee for thy wisdom and thy blessing."

"IF YOU FOUND AN ORC BABY WOULD YOU KILL IT DO YOU CATCH THE VILLAIN OR SAVE THE GIRL WHAT DID I GET FOR MY THIRD BIRTHDAY!? TIME'S UP!"

*120 Sonic Damage*

"I'M LAWFUL GOOD BY THE WAY!"

I will now forever hear Iomedae's voice as spit-flecked screaming right in your face sans punctuation.

[DominusMegadeus]

Leitner wrote:

DominusMegadeus wrote:

Arachnofiend wrote:

Iomedae: "Oh holy Inheritor, I beseech thee for thy wisdom and thy blessing."

"IF YOU FOUND AN ORC BABY WOULD YOU KILL IT DO YOU CATCH THE VILLAIN OR SAVE THE GIRL WHAT DID I GET FOR MY THIRD BIRTHDAY!? TIME'S UP!"

*120 Sonic Damage*

"I'M LAWFUL GOOD BY THE WAY!"

That's pretty much not even slightly how that encounter is written.

"BACK SASSING A GODDESS!? WAKE HIM UP, BOYS!"

*Deafened, muted, bleeding out, dumped in the woods*

[doomman47]

With a meh

[Delightful]

Any and all Gods in the Outer Planes accept this universal greeting: Waaazzzzuuuuuupppppp!!!

[PFRPGrognard]

All I know is, according to Ghostbusters, if a god asks if you are a god, you are supposed to say "yes".

[Kimera757]

Yqatuba wrote:

I assume you would call them one of their titles or possibly "your (un)holiness" depending their alignment, rather than by name.

"Baal", which merely means "lord".

It probably depends on their personality. Lawful deities are probably more "stick in the mud" and demand respect in the form of a title and/or ceremony. Chaotic deities might just want friends. Nature deities just want you to revere nature.

Cthulhu is more interested in what it can do to you! You must demonstrate reverence by wetting yourself, which is fortunately very easy to do if you're facing Cthulhu. Non-worshipers do that!

[Gyre Glenross]

Cayden: "Boss! what can I do for you?"

Any other Good or Neutral Deity: "Your Worship! what can a Cleric of Cayden Cailean do for you?"

Any Evil Diety: "Lord/Lady _____, unless my boss Cayden personally approves, the answer will be NO."

[CorvusMask]

On side note, you should never sass Pharasma :P She is neutral on EVERYTHING, except on those who insult the death itself. In otherwords, she is really into cursing or sending outsiders after people