Freedom Bird is as Free as a hairy '70s Southern Rock band now
And this hairy '70s Southern Rock band you cannot change.
Although Studies have shown that the use of cattle-prods and radishes have given promising results.
IHIYC is the tutor of the boogeyman.
FF grew a goatee to emulate his idol Evil Captain Kirk.
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Molten Dragon has a fireworks breath weapon.
Freedom Bird didn't make it to the cut of appearing on an american flag.
KenderKin is on the FBI watchlist because he tried to eat the constitution that one time.
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EquinoxMaster's 'Downstairs Mixer' has three all-purpose settings: 'Churn', 'Emulsify' and 'Pow, Zoom, Straight To The Moon, Ralphie'.
KenderKin is a door to door salesman of mixers, power tools and fireworks.
Hidden inside equinoxmaster's beard is a recipe for the deadliest gumbo known to man.
Equinoxmaster is the feared leader of a savage pack of Deadly Gumbo Bears
Pulg is the feared leader of a savage pack of Rabid Gummy Bears.
Kenderkin is a man with a van, a plan, two pans, three cans, a catamaran and C-SPAN.
Pulg is responsible for the hole in the bottom of the sea.
Molten Dragon once tried to drink the whole sea.
IHIYC was once network controller for Forks News, a short-lived Conservative tableware themed cable channel.
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Pulg is the administrator of the ForksNews.com website, which is a repository for news, rumor, and fan fiction regarding the Twilight series.
Pulg used to be the spokesman for 'Facial Hair Fashion', but it ran aground, as he's not taken a decent hair cut since.
The Fiend Fantastic's goatee is barred according to the Geneva Conventions, and using it in combat is a war crime.
One could say KahnyaGnorc became un-moored when they left southern Spain.
Molten Dragon used to be the man with the plan. Said plan was to turn into a dragon who is eternally on fire.
Good job!
Ventnor runs a Medieval removals services he calls 'Dragon with a Wagon'
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Pulg is actually three Ewoks standing on each other's shoulders while wearing a trench coat. Strangely, Pulg's dates seem surprisingly cool with this.
The Doc CC is called back, mama CC is preparing supper.
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Poog is... Well, how do I put this? He is a... Squirrel who was bitten by a radioactive cucumber.
Sissyl is actually oblivious to the fact that she is wearing a hat. That hat is, in fact, an octopus camouflaging as an elaborate head dress for an evil sorceress.
GoatToucher received his super-powers after being 'Hentai-ed' by a radioactive octopus.
(What??? I am a sorceress??? And here I thought I was merely an insufferably smart layabout.)
Pulg was hentaied by an Ewok. Which, you know, explains things about Ewok sexuality.
KahynaGnorc is the psychic mind-child of Brain Empress Sissyl and a Ninja vacuum cleaner.
KenderKin isn't actually a kleptomaniac. It is his secret shame.
KahnyaGnorc was the best-selling G.I. Joe doll action figure of all time.