False factoids


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Freedom Bird is actually a CGI character voiced by a six year old.


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The portrait MD uses actually depicts his foot. Things got pretty screwy when he melted.


Sissyl has applied for ambassador of Amnesty International.


TFF, TTFN.


Because he lost a bet with the Fiend Fantastic, KenderKin is no longer allowed to use vowels.


Ventnor, thanks to his name, was recently appointed as the Mystaran Immortal in charge of vents, gussets, airholes and meshes.

Scarab Sages

Pulg mediated the historic Jets-Sharks Nonaggression Pact of 1990.


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Many years ago the real IHIYC's was whisked away to a distant star system to help the rebel forces throw off the shackles of tyranny. Weapon of choice? Pies. IHIYC was a perfect fit.

The current IHIYC is a robot ala The Last Starfighter.


Ventnor wrote:
Because he lost a bet with the Fiend Fantastic, KenderKin is no longer allowed to use vowels.

Frst pncttnnns nw vss


Molten Dragon helped KenderKin sneak into the National Vowel Reserve.


Ventnor is voiced by Nicholas Cage, and wants to know is anyone is selling Pen Is Mightiers.

Liberty's Edge

GoatToucher has won three seasons of Survivor.


Lucky7 makes up games to play with his imaginary friends. Sometimes he loses...


MD is an imaginary friend

Sovereign Court

KenderKin has a secret agent grandma!


Our friend AoZ-K has a secret hobby, karaoke.


TFF has developed karaoke as a martial art.


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Pulg, too, is a disciple of the Fist of the Screechy Voice.


Ventnor can blow on his thumb and inflate his fist up to ten times normal size.


MD just blows


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Kenderkin is employed to shout 'Thar She Blows!' at climactic moments during GoatToucher's new Herman Melville-themed straight to DVD blockbuster.

Scarab Sages

Pulg will be the whale's stunt-double.


IHIYC is putting on weight because he has been hiding in your pantry as of late.


KenderKin tried mooning the moon once, and hasn't been seen since then.

Scarab Sages

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The precise decay patterns of Jokey the Unfunny Comedian's teeth function as ciphers for both America's and Russia's nuclear launch codes.


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IHIYC accidently had his funny bone disintegrated. This is why he turned to evil clown closet hiding.


Molten Dragon has eaten his own skeleton more than once.

Scarab Sages

Ventnor once posed with Knuckles the Echidna for an avante-garde variation on the "vase and faces" illusion.


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IHIYC found out to his horror that, in Denmark, 'Knuckles the Echidna' is an instruction, not a beloved videogame character.

Scarab Sages

Pulg has his own line of nutcracker dolls in his image - they do sell, but not very well.


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In Soviet Russia, Closet Hides In You!


Jokey's avatar photograph was taken just after he sat on a flashlight.


GoatToucher's avatar photo was taken just after a loganberry hit him in the eye.


Sissyl's avatar photo was taken after an alien ate her brain.

Dark Archive

Ventnor was once attacked by a roving business of ferrets.


CS needs to get back to the wedding


KK is the ultimate party crasher.


Old Doc Flumph is actually an upside-down Cthulhu pie.


Pulg is a right-side-up upside-down cake.


Ventnor is a Tarrasdracgnome.


Pulg created ODF by opening a can of worms.


KenderKin has sworn revenge on Pulg for that one time when Pulg stole his worm can.


Ventnor bought KK's worm can on the black market, or more like the charcoal gray market.


KahnyaGnorc is a notorious firearms dealer. By that I mean he acquires severed arms, sets them on fire, and sells them.

His business is worth $2.86 billion.


Ventnor sells road kill stew


KK is opening a opossum road pizza hut.


KE is going hungry due to the lack of road kill and possums....


...all according to KK's diabolic plan. (which you can buy on amazon.com for the low price of $999,999.99)


...a plan which KahnyaGnorc bought, though still refused to pay for Prime.

Scarab Sages

The Doc CC holds "Free Neck-Zipper Sundays" the first week of every month at his clinic.

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