Full Name |
Pulg |
Race |
Korvosa All Ages Donkey Sack Slalom |
Classes/Levels |
GCSE metalwork, Home Economics and Sports Science |
Gender |
I suppose so |
Size |
Economy |
Age |
Woollen |
Special Abilities |
Able to form simple sentences and wash bottom at the same time |
Alignment |
South South West |
Deity |
Bratwurst, toilet paper and prunes, four times a day with a glass of eggnog |
Location |
Wherever God shines his light |
Languages |
Foul |
Occupation |
Hearthrug |
Strength |
2 |
Dexterity |
2 |
Constitution |
2 |
Intelligence |
2 |
Wisdom |
2 |
Charisma |
2 |
About Pulg
Born in a bungalow in Tennessee and prime mover in the Tennessee Bungalow Incident that turned 14 US Marshals into singing figs and made sticky outy bellybuttons illegal over 9 counties, Pulg is what happens when a three week old hairball is struck by lightning. His nose is wet, his pelt is silky, his bowels are empty and he makes a noise like HMS Ark Royal firing four brass bands out of its torpedo tubes whenever you prod him with a Barbie Doll. He is married to a brick. He is married to two bricks. Normally, brick bigamy is illegal, but these are London Company No. 7s, and he has a note from his Mum and the Archbishop of Canterbury (not the same person. I think) excusing him from sports so we'll let him off. His hobbies include exploding, moistening cabbage fields from a great height, underage military goose knitting and crown green bowls. He is strongly opposed to the fur trade.