Stygian Slayer

Sinister Stan: Schemer Supreme's page

187 posts. Alias of Ventnor.


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Not very well. Not very well at all!

Or... am I?

*Summons snowstorm*

I do indeed!

Next poster, you're the right person for the job! Go get that [REDACTED]!

The court will find that GoatToucher agreed to pay the whale three [REDACTED] for use of its [REDACTED], but he only paid with two! Justice must be served!

The next poster is angry at all the redaction going on.

Count Reiner Heydrich is plotting to usurp the demesne of Minty von Doublestripe, Duke of the Candy Cane Forest.

I played Andy Serkis playing Supreme Leader Snoke! Wearing two motion-capture suits, one on top of the other, was pretty uncomfortable. That’s just what you have to do for art, though.

The next poster has lived their entire life in front of a green screen.

Man, you’ve really lost your edge, Skiron. Just one sacrifice? Regular wasp venom? Come on, this isn’t amateur hour!

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Ekanta Hanoi once stared straight into a cow's eyes for 5 whole minutes. 3 days later, the cow died after a 50-pound tomato fell out of the sky next to it moments before it fell into a hole.

The truth is out there!

And it was definitely unintentional, I assure you. I don’t have a meat clown costume that I dressed up in as a part of a larger plot. Those are just scandalous rumors!

The next poster has also heard some scandalous rumors.

Do the words “Fanny Pack of Holding” mean anything to you?

After the shenanigans you pull on a regular basis, why would you think that I'd keep a closet?

So no-one needs the sun, then? I can keep it?

Do you all need the sun? If so, could you survive until I manage to find a new one?

Oh, as if you wouldn’t know.

1.) I brought the girl, just like you asked. Now where’s my money?

2.) Well we’ve tried the small gun, the medium gun, and the medium-large gun. That armor seems to be impenetrable. Anyone have any other ideas?

3.) Oh, the tentacled unicorn? Yeah, it, uh, it’s...

If questions are what you seek, see the answers below.

1.) it’s a necessary evil!

2.) I’m undoing it as fast as I can!

3.) Well I’m convinced!

What alternatives did you have in mind?

I remember seeing JTDIII in the prison yard one day, acting all smug. So I shanked him and made him think that his goblin buddy did it.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

I don’t know who I’m Hiding In Your Closet is and I certainly didn’t hire him to smuggle tons of illegal cat food through a closet network, generating vast profits for both of us. That very specific example is a thing that definitely didn’t happen!

Wish granted! The card game store goes out of business and the property is acquired by a new real-estate agency called Space-Finder.

I wish for the ability to see in the dark.

This gigantic target is the perfect cover!

The next poster lost a wager they really shouldn’t have made.

KahnyaGnorc is the Grand Poobah of the Grand Council of KahnyaGnorc. He's also the secretary, the treasurer, the chairman of human relations, and the janitor.

It should also be mentioned that he has access to a highly advanced Cloning Vat.

We’re going to start session 214 of the campaign tomorrow! The PCs still haven’t found a way out, even after checking out in session 93.

The next poster earns the big bucks in an unusual way.

How could the answer be anything other than yes?

And so the win appeared in Vidmaster's beard, exactly according to plan. Yoink!

Who says I don't think ahead?

8.2 out of 10. Needed more phlegm.

It is done, vengeful master! We have slain all the sheep owned by humans in the land; the human fleece will disrupt your sleep no more!

Underlings! Prepare my orbital weapons platform to fire upon any fools who do not comply with my demands!

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Honorable Battle-Brother wrote:

"They call me terrorist. Radical. Zealot. Because I obey the ancient laws of my goddess, and punish those who do not. Because I do not forgive your people for corrupting the souls of our fathers, and their fathers, and their fathers before them. An eternity of war between us will not be forgotten." 'You can't do this! Our worlds signed a pact binding us together!' "My homeworld knows no shame. You Eoxians and your unlife are a disease. 'You... will never rule Eox!' "No, I WILL CLEANSE IT!"

*Smashes down disrupting mace upon the eoxian's skull, crushing it instantly*

Nyarlathotep is pleased by the chaos you sow.

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Fumarole wrote:
J4RH34D wrote:
Tiny Coffee Golem wrote:
18) creative application of high explosives.
This brings to mind the question if what won't this fix?
As the size of the explosion grows, the number of problems it is incapable of solving approaches zero.

... and that would be wrong.

All these posts, exactly as planned.

My first mistake was teaching goblins how to stuff dead animals. My second was not checking the goblins to see if there were any gnomes who had disguised themselves as goblins.

The next poster has paid the price for my mistakes.

3 people marked this as a favorite.

Friend computer has been a communist the entire time. Also he's a mutant too.

What? I'm great at a bunch of stuff! Just give me a few days to get over this cold and I'll show you!

Moral Standard: Gods & Mortals must live by the same standards.

Vidmaster7 wrote:
Reptile goblin hybrid who would do such a thing? That just ain't right right there I tell you what.

Some kind of demented evil genius, I would think. Who is certainly, um, not me in any way of course.


Ha! I don't need to worry about that! I am the humblest person in the world!

Moral Standard: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times... won't be fooled again.

When the things that go bump in the night bump into GoatToucher, they're never heard from again.

Skully McEyelights

I don't have time to read!

I'm too busy planning!

The Game Hamster wrote:
Nah, don't give him that much credit... He announces all of his schemes before he does them, and he never announced this one.

I'd recommend you check your mailbox!

You fool! If no one knows you are scheming, what is even the point? Now stand back as I laugh the laugh of a mastermind!


I'm ignoring everything that came before this post and changing the name of this thread to "Last One To Post Wins (If you're Sinister Stan)".

Don't drink that healing potion. We wouldn't want you to have excess hit points, after all.

Moral Standard: Laughter is the best medicine.


Not enough laservision.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Well, I don't like the brag, but my horrible creations have themselves spawned a horror movie franchise or three.

The next poster has seen one of these horror movie franchises and is not impressed.

Sinister Stan is blasting off agaaaaaaaaain...

*Twinkle in the sky*

Vaping! My only weakness!

Curse you LASER CLOWN!!!

Laser Clown of the 34th Century wrote:

Ah, but sphinxes and Cirque de Soleil are both my staunch allies! Did you really think they'd allow me to come to harm?

*4 long, incandescent, iridescent tentacles sprout from Laser Clown's back, each one holding an additional ray gun*

Your scheming was good...but your planning was terrible!

Heh... heh... HAHAHAHA!!!

You fool! I only made a poor plan so that you'd plan around that plan SO THAT I COULD PLAN AROUND YOUR PLAN!!!

*Sprays self with Tentacle-Repellent Bat-Spray*

LASER CLOWN (Hero of the 34th Century!)!!! Impossible! I thought you died in that giant inflatable sphinx after the Cirque de Soleil incident!

Good thing I brought... *Pulls out a rubber duck which unfolds into a weaponized Tesla Coil* ... backup!

Just your average clone! Impossible! I thought you died in that Las Vegas shipyard after the Cirque de Soleil incident!

1 person marked this as a favorite.

I'd execute Order 66 myself.

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