Asmodeus

The Fiend Fantastic's page

2,310 posts. Alias of Chyrone.


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When you need to get rid of said village, call -ME-.

*display of fire and brimstone*

Or unleash a horde of goblins on it, that will often work as well.


α. Mister Banderas' been so seriou-sss lately, can't we unwind him in some way?

β. I had a man with an identity crisis at my practice last week. All dolled up. He couldn't imagine why his girlfriend stood up and left in the restaurant. What would be the most subtle way to put the reason to him/her?

γ. The most explosive vorpal boomerang has been invented, and we're looking for a sponsor.

Next poster, hereby your answers.

1) Well, that happens when Wendy stuffs Ronald's rek-tum with his own greasy burgers, feeding Chuck-E's dead body to the animal shelter, and plucking Colonel Sanders clean before tossing him into the frying fat for a good hour.

2) Contrary to the general belief, the moon landing was a fake.
Space may be the final frontier, but it's made in a Hollywood basement.

3) The only way to defeat the megadragon is to alter the timeline.


१. Sorry sir, why did you want to walk down Axe-tershave boulevard?
२. Sir, sorry to bother you, but, what if the shark won't be caught using that bottle?
३. Right, you so provoked the guy wielding a banana. You shot him for coming at you with it.... now what?
४. What's the latest selection of loyal customer gifts, on a membership on 'book of the month club'?
५. Military fairy, ooh!

Next poster, here are our answers.

1) Hearing Rammstein, while eating some serious chocolate.
2) People say it was Bill Clinton, but we all know it was Beyonce.
3) Holy fcknuggets! Get out of here!


1. Sure, in the spirit of retro and old-school tech, scanners are making a comeback.
2. Sure thing sir, one tour of all there is to see in Tokyo. A quest worthy of your eyes.
3. Behold, the frog that is annoying, tiny, and grows hair for you to groom.

Next poster, hereby thine answers:

A) The phattest loot of all.
B) Gnomish geisha barbarians, of course.
C) No, miss Leatherwhips, i don't think -that- is meant to be put -there-.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

ᚨ. Who is -de kerstman- ?
ᛒ. Who is this girl?
ᚲ. Erm, what does معدن ثقيل mean?

So, next poster, here are the answers to your questions.

1) Goth girls in pink outfits.
2) Trump and Putin cuddling in a ferris wheel.
3) GET OVER HERE!! *chain spear toss*


You can place an illusion covered Sphere of Annihilation blocking the path to the McGuffin, cause you're the GM!


Aduro, Good Wizard of Avantia 's title is but the reflection of his skills, his alignment is actually quite evil.


Schism puts her fingers in the fuse box to get that hair style.


KanyeOrc is on Absalon's Most Wanted list for various crimes.


Mr. Jacobs wrote:


The Fiend Fantastic wrote:

Mr. Jacobs,

With Pathfinder Kingmaker now a game on retails, perhaps 3D games/simulations won't be inevitable.

Suppose, with that angle, a company eventually makes a 3D version of a city from Golarion. Which city would you say you'd like most to walk around in?

Sandpoint.

Even at the point of the goblin attack? :)


Thread hasn't hit 5k count yet, how come? :o


Mr. Jacobs,

With Pathfinder Kingmaker now a game on retails, perhaps 3D games/simulations won't be inevitable.

Suppose, with that angle, a company eventually makes a 3D version of a city from Golarion. Which city would you say you'd like most to walk around in?


*HELLFIRE INFERNO*

I return once more to gaze upon this place.
Good grief, the number stands at 26770.

I see the fright of farm animals is still around, back to your cellar, this instant!

Fester and Reiner, you're missing out on juicy maiden necks, back at the corner 2 streets down to the right.

Vid & Pulg, both hairy as ever and.... are you guys using lavender shampoo? O_o'

IHIYC, i hear you've a clown-off with Pennywise in an hour, what's happened that it came to that?


Clowns.


*Torches Chuck Les with a dual scorching ray for that comment*


2 people marked this as a favorite.
CrimsonVixen wrote:

Grapple = Grabbing onto someone and doing some wrasslin'

Cuddling and Hugging = rolling a nat 1 on your CMB check.

But the lovely succubus holding you in her arms, is what matters in the end. :)


*Plays the guitar, hellfire bursts occasionally emerging*


2 people marked this as a favorite.
CrimsonVixen wrote:
Cuddling is an act of comfort, not of passion.

We're talking succubi in grapples....

Grapple = hold onto.
Cuddling and hugging = milder version of holding onto.

Step 1: The false sense of safety.
Step 2: She then grips you tight.....
Step 3: Level drain!


2 people marked this as a favorite.

Heh, and then she holds you longer than that timespan, cause you're so cuddly.

PASSION-ALITY!!


*Explosion of hellfire*

(Inhales and exhales)

"I have...returned."


3 people marked this as a favorite.

Korea's knocked out of a skating competition, but that's no reason to take it out on us! :/

(Brings out flak cannons)


1 person marked this as a favorite.

If done properly, have said lavatory be a mimic.

They'll never want to risk going to one down there ever again. ^^


They've got the referee on their payroll, it wouldn't work.

Perhaps trying to cause infighting with (fake but very convincing) pictures?


Incidentally, a party i GM a game for is now fighting the woodland critters.

;D

Fiery eye lasers & sadism, huzzah.
HAIL SATAN! ASMODEUS!


Goth Guru wrote:
Coins filled with explosives that go off when exposed to body heat for a full minute.

A teddybear that explodes when hugged.


(Looks around)

Still nothing new...


3 people marked this as a favorite.

Pray he doesn't serve you chili.


2 people marked this as a favorite.

The woodland critters from South Park.


*Picks up the banana-with-a-string from his shoulder*

Gorilla Grodd is over there, you know.


Anything of interest happening around here?

(Looks around)

(Sips from coffee)

Not much new, it seems.


Which are on a special contract basis.

They never run out.


Cousin it is the ruling champion in that RPG.


No, he'll be channeling Jim Curry, from what the rumors say.


Certainly.

Legolas, with his looks, aims to dominate all the fangirls into his personal harem.

Next poster, would you kindly foil evil Legolas' plan.


That it is.

Introducing hair splitting in a weaponized manner, has paid off.

:3


Monica Belluci is banned for wearing replicas of jewelry, at the national jewelry convention.


You are out of your game recently. Have you tried cafeïne beverages yet?


Though i've heard they were all returned and refunds were demanded.

There were apparently too horrifying details in it.


There might be one who can give him a run for his money.

Eric Cartman, quite a sadistic kid.
If he does this to a bully, then GoatToucher might be in for worse.


Likely made in India..


That's your own fault, buying that Beardgrowth-2017 tonic.


My blood burns with a passion, such power in my veins.
*Fireballs the nearest peasant to show it*

The next poster has been vigilantly defending the Mexican border from construction workers, who were trying to build a wall on its border.


If only, they signed a temp contract with Bruce Willis, to destroy all incoming stars and planets that come down planet side.

How about we have Barbra Streisand sing to them?


Nice one, Sideromancer.

Good idea, but no. Scrying the courtyard has revealed them casting an extended and widened Silence spell near our speakers just now.

Have we yet teleported in the succubi, into their castle?


3 people marked this as a favorite.

That wouldn't work, they don't take s+%@ from anyone.

Perhaps playing Justin Bieber all day long in front of their gates will break their will?


His archnemesis was, at the time of the vow, a cruel tyrant.
Over time, he repented and became a just man.

The paladin fell because he had to destroy a just man, oh how fate loves messing with paladins.

The paladin fed the hungry housecat's kittens.


How about Kevin Spacey?


JTDV is selling taco flavored condoms at the mall, just 69 cents for a package.


Ventnor has been funding the latest rise of Terror Clowns movements.


It's been too long.

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