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Sovereign Court

KABOOM!

*The entire thread explodes for no reason, but no one is hurt or killed.*

Oh no, my kaboom insurance has just run out! Why didn't I get it updated?


Like me, you spent the premium money on BEANS.

Sovereign Court

Yes, he did, but the question remains... what did he do with all those beans?

He doesn't eat them, he doesn't bathe in them, so what did he do with them?!


He creates BeanBombas of course.

Sovereign Court

Oh yeah, I always wondered how he got his hands on those. Now I know...

But who destroyed the Waterhammer standee, and what caused the thread to blow up?!


Guided missiles fall into two general types or categories. They are strategic missiles and tactical missiles. Depending on the role missiles can be further subdivided within each category.

Strategic missiles are large missiles, often with new-Q-ler warheads and very long ranges. They are meant to destroy the enemy's ability to produce conflict management systems.

Tactical missiles, on the other foot, are meant for battlefield use for the limited purpose of winning the encounter at hand. There are a variety of tactical missiles dependent on the role.


Very true. Contrabass, bass, baritone, tenor, alto, soprano, and sopranino, for example.

Sovereign Court

Bear Tony… Yeah, I remember him.


Sax-O-Tone?

Sovereign Court

Maleficent: Alright, just who let the Heartless loose in High G's missile silo?

Pete: T'wernt me, I was busy making a new GoatToucher brand product.

Yzma: Well, it certainly wasn't me unless... KRONK!

Hades: Geez Louise, you just can't get the help these days, can you?


I understand that this is a Festival of Depravity, but why does that require us to put bras on all the bongos?


Some standards must be maintained.

Sovereign Court

I've just realised, you can't have a Festival of Depravity without GoatToucher!

*Quickly writes out an invitation to GoatToucher, then sends it by Sea-Airmail.*

There we go, that's now been rectified, on to the other matter...

*Comte de Malodor has started singing Sweet Caroline.*

Good thing that Lady Blackmoor told me about what to do.

*Knocks Comte de Malodor unconscious with a statue, then hands him over to his wife.*


Are we sure he didn't have someone put a spell on her to make her that devoted to him?

Sovereign Court

We're talking about Lashcastrakaa the man-flayer here, daughter, I seriously (and I mean seriously) doubt that Comte de Malodor would have been able to get the better of her (through magical means or otherwise).

Shall we see if we can get the Disney Villain Council and Organisation XIII to join us for the Festival of Depravity? If not, their various minions will definitely be a welcome treat.


Well, my boy, Fifi, Mimi, Kiki, Squeaky, Pipi, Sabrina and Gladys are all on their way. Is everything else in readiness for our show at the Depravity Festival Fringe?


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Ba ba ba, ba babababa, bababa

Well, there's a statue-shaped dent in my bonce, and I still need to saw these manacles off, but let's see:

Swarfega
Rubber chaps
Quail's eggs
Canoe paddle
12 x scrolls of Digby's Septuplar Throbber

Yes, I should say so. I just hope we can finish in time for the live broadcast of 'Challenge GoatToucher'

Sovereign Court

I'm sure that we will, we've just got to stay on task. Speaking of which...

*Gives the signal, and Comte de Malodor is rigorously hosed down.*

Now, now, stop your protesting. This had to happen you know.


what

in

hades

is

going

on

here.

Sovereign Court

*Appears via a magic portal.*

Hades: did somebody mention my name?

*Goes over to Dowager Comtessa de Malodor.*

Boom, name's Hades, Lord of the dead. Hi, how you're doing?

Ursula: I don't think that she meant you, specifically dear.


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Oh, I say! Charmed, I'm sure, Lord H. Tell me, do you find your children to be as great a trial as I do mine?

Sovereign Court

Hades: I'm afraid that I am from a different universe, my good lady.

*Looks away and rubs the back of his neck, showing his awkwardness.*

Where I'm from, I'm now the youngest brother instead of the oldest. Which, if you think about it, makes my desire to claim Mount Olympus as more of a bratty move instead of me trying to regain my birthright. On top of that, Persephone (my wife) seems to be missing, not to mention that Zeus (aka Mister High and Mighty/Mr "hey you, get off my cloud") is actually a respectable being now.

Maleficent: very true, which is why we all seek to break free of our bonds.

Frollo: for too long have we been restrained by the rules of a universe in which the parameters that define good and evil are set so rigidly. Well no more! Yes, we will still remain evil, but now we have complete hearts.

Cruella De Vil: absolutely, being too clear cut just isn't fashionable nowadays.


But a cut in the right place makes all things possible.

Sovereign Court

*Each member of the Disney Villain Council grins wickedly.*

Yzma: we couldn't agree more with you...

*Countess Clarissia von Schism is held firmly in place.*

Jafar: all we need now is the right tool for the job.

McLeach: I've got it right here!

*Uses a machete to cut Countess Clarissia von Schism "in the right place".*

Queen of Hearts: well I'll be, it does make things possible!


Like the gift of Melody.

Sovereign Court

Excellent! The hanging decorations I ordered have arrived!

*Hangs each member of Pulg's Goblin Flugelhorn Band across the walls.*

Mind you, I thought they were light fixtures, not musical accompaniments.

*Comte de Malodor is still being hosed down at this point.*


Easy mistake to make, but the low energy bulbs in their bottoms are purely decorative, in fact.

Sovereign Court

And they can still play their instruments while hanging on a wall...

Whilst having a foot long iron nail hammered into their foreheads?

*Comte de Malodor has finished being hosed down, now everyone is throwing sponges at him.*


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VUN MORE SPONGE, ZHEN IT IS TIME FOR HHHHHUSBANT SCRUBBING!!!!


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Count Reiner Heydrich wrote:
And they can still play their instruments while hanging on a wall...

Well, of course.

Quote:
Whilst having a foot long iron nail hammered into their foreheads?

So long as there's room besides the seven or so that are already in there, sure.

Sovereign Court

*Grabs the final sponge, takes aim then throws it with all of his might.*

SPLASH!

*The sponge hits Comte de Malodor square in the face.*

Well, that was fun, on to the scrubbing now everyone!

*Everyone gets a scrubbing brush (with the bristles being more like sandpaper).*


Oo coo gosh baboosh yaroo!

Sovereign Court

Be a man and stop complaining, even for a Festival of Depravity, there's limits!

*Soap is doused on Comte de Malodor during the scrubbing.*

Yes, my friend, more soap is being used. To make sure that you're clean!

*The scrubbing becomes more intense, Comte de Malodor starts bleeding.*

Remember, no pain - no gain! You will be cleansed!


Hold on tight - it's Irn Bru Enema Time!


Gracious!


Not for you - for Count Reiner.

Sovereign Court

Did you have to say so loud? It's a delicate subject after all.

*Excuses self to private room with Madam Flaybuttocks... And Vampire Schism.*

Thank goodness I only have to have it once every 100 years!

*A moment of silence as the enema is preformed.*

Well, that went surprisingly smoothly, now back to the preparations.

*Comes back to the main hall, Vampire Schism is unusually quiet.*

Don't tell me Ursula accidentally got your voice too!


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I'm fine.
Just trying to finish the last 20 tasks you gave me.

Sovereign Court

Ah yes, that makes sense. What tasks are you yet to complete?

*Ponders for a moment about an "odd" subject.*

Have you seen me get an enema before? I can't remember if you did.

*Gets something of a curious/confused look from Vampire Schism in response.*

Just wondered if that was another reason for your silence.


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Not enough mind bleach for that.

Sovereign Court

Sorry I'm late, my car wouldn't start and then I got into an accident!

*Everyone gasps in shock at this news.*

Don't worry, my car's fine, just ran over some sort of large animal...

*Begins performance by juggling some hardboiled eggs.*

Now that I'm here, the show can really begin!

*The next poster shows up, also apologising for being late...*

You alright mate, what happened? *Is still juggling the eggs.*

*Apparently, someone had run over the next poster's mother...*


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Well, you're going to need more, because it's time for the opening ceremony of the Festival of Depravity, AT LAST.

Octave, stand on *this* wheelie bin, take *this* catering sized pack of Kraft cheese slices, and perform *this* list of excruciatingly painful and undignified acts with them.

Juliette, interpret his howls of agony via the medium of Flamenco dance, while wearing *this* deep-sea diver's suit.

Fairies, inbetween the animalistic cries of anguish, I demand RED HOT FREEFORM JAZZ ACTION. Chop chop!


SKWAK blat HWEEE hnerkernerkernerk GNOOOKOOKUWÜÜ skiddlybiddly bop WAH.


Rrru toooooooot!


Hyud hyud hyud hyud hyud hyud doodle doodle doodle dood dood dyu!


...

PHOOMPH.

Sovereign Court

*plays bongos*


*Also plays bongos, incredibly*

Sovereign Court

I was going to see about getting a certain giant monkey to also play the bongos...

Then I remembered that Claw would just go berserk and break everything.

*Bows to Dowager Comtessa de Malodor.*

Forgive me for not noticing your absence, I hope you were successful in your errands.

And, I'm sorry to hear about your mother.

Sovereign Court

Ursula: I do believe that I've got some spells to add to the festivities.

Horned King: And I have just summoned my cauldronborn to assist with everything.

Queen of Hearts: good idea, I'll get my Card Guards participating too!

Chernabog: here's a classic performance for you. *Summons demons.*

Yzma: Kronk, what are you waiting for?! Join Octave in... whatever he's doing!

MCP: while all of you users are doing that, I will put our plan into action.

*The MCP sets about hacking all nearby networks, using the Festival of Depravity as a platform to expand the influence of the (much needed) new and improved Disney Villain Council.*

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