Last one to post wins

[Malvel, The Dark Wizard]

I guess that even as a Nosferatu, Fester Addams is still Fester Addams.

[Vidmaster7]

We really need a great light of the day alias to clear these guys out but I'm to lazy to make one.

[Great Light of the Day]

BEAM SHINE SPARKLE GLEAM RADIATE.

[Vidmaster7]

Yeah you get those suck heads.

[Vampire Schism]

Suck necks, if you please.
The fangs hit bone as soon as we bite into a head.
Can't make a good seal.
Too much blood wasted.

[Malvel, The Dark Wizard]

Also, I'm not a vampire, I'm an evil wizard hellbent on ruling over many kingdoms with an army of beasts (either good ones I have enslaved with my dark magic or evil ones born from that same magic) at my command.

[Comte de Malodor]

Howdy neighbor.

[Vampire Schism]

It's a beautiful day in this neighborhood,
A beautiful day for a neighbor,
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?

It's a neighborly day in this beautywood,
A neighborly day for a beauty,
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?

I have always wanted to have a neighbor just like you,
I've always wanted to live in a neighborhood with you.

So let's make the most of this beautiful day,
Since we're together, we might as well say,
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?
Won't you be my neighbor?

Won't you please,
Won't you please,
Please won't you be my neighbor?

[high G]

"Answer my riddle's three. What has a beginning but no ending?

[The Sideromancer]

FAWTL

[high G]

Wrong!

[zorander6]

This thread.

[Lord President Beans]

Infinity Beans.

[Belphegor]

Death

[Malvel, The Dark Wizard]

I really struggled with this one. At first I thought it was a sentence, then I believed it was morning/today and finally I got the impression that it was the actual word "begin". However, I have since looked up the answer online (yes, I cheated but hey, I'm evil) and Belphegor is correct.

Now for a riddle of my own: a hundred legs and no legs, twelve legs then a thousand legs, swiftly followed by forty legs. What have I just described?

[Vampire Schism]

A centipede and fish, three horses and a 500 person army, 10 cows.

[high G]

How do you open a box with no key?

[Pulg]

With a Skeleton Cat.

[Malvel, The Dark Wizard]

Actually, Vampire Schism, it was a banquet with 500 guests standing around it with ten animals (cats/dogs) nearby to eat the scraps. But your answer is just as good.

And high G, you open the lid. Just because there's no key, doesn't mean that the box is locked.

[high G]

Demonstrate how:

1 + 2 + 3 + 4 + 5 + ... = -1/12

?

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

*holds up bag of sandwiches*

I've got Togo's(TM)!

[Skiron]

Belphegor wrote:

Death

Ah, but this has been thrown into hot dispute by Alhazred's Theory of Indefinite-State Circumstance-Receptivity!

*wistfully* Oh, Thrice-Greatest Alhazred, truly you left us all far behind in the race to face the Truth...

*suddenly realizes he has just walked past New York's Metropolitan Museum of Modern Art*

...MOMA!? Oooooooooohhh!

[Malvel, The Dark Wizard]

*Gasps in sheer horror.*

Skiron has found his way to Earth! This is bad, magic and gods do not exist there anymore, if he causes a widespread panic (something that Skiron specialises in) then all of reality will be destroyed!

[Nosferatu Fester Addams]

Well, why don't you just get him back then?

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

Are you insane?! Skiron has unprecedented amount of power and he's completely unpredictable! Besides, we need someone who doesn't use magic and cannot be detected by the people of Earth in any way. Unfortunately, there's only one person who fits that description: GoatToucher.

[high G]

One of the many things I hate about living in a statist society is the helpless feeling I get when desperately hoping that mediocre people can find some way to do the right thing.

[Skiron]

*shrugs*

I didn't mean to make you cry.

*smiles - which only makes it worse*

If I'm not back again this time tomorrow....

[Khāṇa Tsogtsos]

*sniffs something out in the catacombs*

Carrion...?

[Nectanebo the Vulture]

*shows up with a grotesque undead companion, nods in assent*

Carrion!

[high G]

Look At Me

[Vidmaster7]

So much undead.

[Malvel, The Dark Wizard]

Umm, hello? I'm still very much ALIVE thank you!

*Walks off grumbling, saying words that have only been muttered by Merlin when playing card games or a heavily drunk Gandalf.*

Honestly, just because most of the people posting right now are vampires or some other sort of undead creature, doesn't mean that we ALL are!

[Skiron]

I don't want to die...or particularly to Un-die (though that would likely be the preferable).

[Ekanta Hanoi]

*stares blankly ahead while practicing with his staff*

I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all.

[Mercutio Menschjaeger]

What is this? A guitar? Numerian, perhaps...?

Perform (Stringed): 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (5) + 10 = 15

[Xasay Xyu]

*idly tunes clavichord*

Perform (Keyboard), masterwork clavichord: 1d20 + 15 ⇒ (9) + 15 = 24

[high G]

John Wick == Conan the Barbarian

[Assassin's Ombudsman]

I stick a li'l ol' stiletto in a man.

[Vidmaster7]

I didn't say EVERYONE was undead. but der be a lot of undead.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

<--- It's me!

[Laser Clown of the 34th Century]

<--- So am I!

[I'm DMing In Your Closet]

Perform (Dance): 1d20 + 1d100 ⇒ (9) + (71) = 80

[Nemesis Melek]

sound burst: 1d10 ⇒ 3

[Vladek Odradek]

lightning: 10d6 ⇒ (1, 5, 6, 3, 3, 5, 1, 4, 4, 2) = 34

[Vidmaster7]

Bunch of folks just clownin around.

[Quiche Lisp]

Pfah !

[Quiche Lisp]

I win and in so doing I stop this idle prattle.

You're welcome.

[Vidmaster7]

Idle prattle.

[Quiche Lisp]

[*tugs on Vidmaster7's beard*]
I remember you !

[Vidmaster7]

I remember you as well. (who could forget that face?) welcome back.