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Possibly Quiche Lisp is just Vidmaster7 with a very severe haircut.

Sovereign Court

I have a more pressing issue to ask Quiche Lisp. I need to know if he is a gnome because I recently learned that of someone called Shadeblade of the Darkfolk once got really drunk and got a tattoo on his posterior that allegedly says "happiness and laughter" in gnomish but he's not sure if it does (IHIYC can testify to this, as he had a couple of tattoo mishaps while drinking heavily), so (if Quiche Lisp is indeed a gnome) then he needs to confirm what exactly is written on the posterior of Shadeblade of the Darkfolk.


Um no I already have a hairless alias.


See


Isn't that a film starring a koala in a tuxedo?


I..I'm not sure.


Pulg wrote:
Isn't that a film starring a koala in a tuxedo?

Isn't that the one where Kwicky Koala was trying blend in with the penguins while stranded in Antarctica?


Hugs and butter.

I'm having major surgery tomorrow. If you don't hear from me again by next
Tuesday, then I've taken the long nap.


Maybe the one that's about the singing animals?


They're all about singing animals.

Good luck, high g!


They really are.


Luck high G.

Sovereign Court

Normally, I would laugh manically, being the evil wizard I am. But, I shall wish you well, high G, and I hope that the procedure is a complete success. So instead, I will save my ire and wrath for my enemies (who've yet to discover that I am here).

Sovereign Court

*Despite being mere enchanted taxidermy, is aware that only people who have heard of (or researched) the Beast Quest series will understand who Malvel The Dark Wizard is talking about.*

Beyond that, still waiting and watching...


*Le Comte, accompanied by a giggling housemaid, enters an appallingly furnished boudoir in the Chateau Malodor. He stops.*

Marie-Claire, is that rug that I borrowed from Reiner winking at me, or have I overdone it with the laudanum again?

Sovereign Court

*Leaps up angrily by the insulting remark and being placed in an appallingly furnished boudoir and starts snarling at Comte de Malodor hostilely.*

The waiting is now over...

*Bounds towards Comte de Malodor like an awkward flying carpet and mauls the fool to death (but leaves the maid, she's alright).*

Sovereign Court

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why you don't steal my things.


'Take the rug, Alphonse', you said. 'Please, take the rug', and now I see it was nothing more than a diabolical trap, you cad! Hence, I have no option but to challenge you to a duel, once Cousin Mimi has glued me back together again.

Sovereign Court

That wasn't me, you great nitwit! For starters, I NEVER address you by your first name: I call you "Comte de Malodor" or "ugly, shriveled thing". Also, that tigerskin rug is one of my most treasured possessions (and of course it is a trap, how else must I protect my castle?), I wouldn't give it away for all the blood in the universe. You're free to challenge me to a duel, just be warned, I never lose. And for goodness sake, you told me that your cousin Mimi was nearsighted and clumsy, why are you asking HER to help glue you back together. Wait, I thought you had a life threating allergy to glue.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

I have a life-threatening allergy to ghouls, which does mean that I shouldn't let Cousin Mimi anywhere near me, but otherwise, you're quite right. That raises numerous questions in my tiny mind - if you're not responsible (and I can see that you aren't - my apologies), who is?

Sovereign Court

One word: usurpers.

*Shudders a little.*

I'm sure that you have had your fair share of people trying to get rid of you in order to take over the lands you own.

Sovereign Court

*Sniggers somewhat uncontrollably.*

This is just wonderful!


Count Reiner Heydrich wrote:

One word: usurpers.

*Shudders a little.*

I'm sure that you have had your fair share of people trying to get rid of you in order to take over the lands you own.

By Moloch, what is this? It's a conspiracy, I tell you! Freemasons! Freemasons everywhere!

Hold on - I'm a Freemason...


My grandpa is or was a Free mason. Its nice he has a little sticker in his back windshield and the police don't pull him over.

Sovereign Court

I'm really not sure how anyone can really respond to that. I mean, there's the obvious jokes, but not a lot can be said without sounding slightly rude (why am I, an evil wizard, saying this? What should I care about offending some old guy and his hairy grandson?).

*Shakes the head a little, to clear the mind.*

Alright, on to more important matters.

*Starts putting up wanted posters of all the good guys from Beast Quest.*


Malvel, The Dark Wizard wrote:
*Starts putting up wanted posters of all the good guys from Beast Quest.*

Don't you mean menu options?


Vidmaster7 wrote:
My grandpa is or was a Free mason. Its nice he has a little sticker in his back windshield and the police don't pull him over.

I bet he never got up to half the stuff that we do in our lodge.

Sovereign Court

*Looks at Vampire Schism with a mix of bewilderment and disgust.*

Whatever you wish to call them, my dear lady, is entirely up to you and while, yes I wish them all to be killed or brought before me, just remember: the main person who foils my plans is a boy who is in his mid-teens (all while being accompanied by a girl - who may very well become his wife when they both fully grow up - a stallion and a wolf). And for anyone interested in the bounty for those who stand against me, here's the list:

1. Tom (the boy hero who thwarts all my plans): 100,000,000,000 gold
2. Elenna (the friend who accompanies him): 90,000,000,000 gold
3. Storm (Tom's trusty stallion): 80,000,000,000 gold
4. Silver (Elenna's pet wolf): 80,000,000,000 gold
5. Marc/Daltec (a young wizard who helps them): 750,000,000 gold
6. Taladon the Swift, Master of the Beasts (Tom's father): 85,000,000,000 gold
7. Freya, Mistress of the Beasts (Tom's mother): 85,000,000,000 gold
8. King Hugo (ruler of Avantia): 900,000,000 gold
9. Aduro (the good wizard who serves King Hugo): 60,000,000,000

*Says nothing to Comte de Malodor, just smacks him across the back of the head.*


Ow!

I was going to hunt down Tom's trusty stallion for you, but just for that, I WON'T. So there!

Sovereign Court

That's most unfortunate, for you that is. After all, I only smacked you because you said something ridiculous (not to mention that Count Reiner Heydrich, your vast "collection" of housemaids, your patron deity and all your family smack you for the same reason). Actually, I understand that your sister crucifies your genitalia and then feeds it to your pet mastiff, creative lady.

Sovereign Court

You forgot to mention that Tom, Elenna, Storm and Silver are always journeying together. For a Dark Wizard, you can be quite an idiot sometimes...

*Stab.*

Urk...

*Collapses onto the floor, with an ornate dagger belonging to Comte de Malodor (which, unbeknownst to the now unconscious count -meta moment- and everyone else, was stolen by the same individual who stole the tigerskin rug that belongs to the count) sticking out of his back.*

Sovereign Court

Comte de Malodor has just tried to assassinate Count Reiner Heydrich! I recognize the fiends dagger anywhere! Quickly everyone, let's get him!


Hold, hold! It's my dagger, but the fingerprints show that it was thrust home by a LEFT-HANDED PERSON WITH VERY LONG FINGERNAILS WHO LIKES TO PUT LIGHTBULBS IN THEIR MOUTH AND MAKE THEM GLOW! And that can only be one individual...

Besides, anyone who's actually friends with the Count knows full well it'll take more than a poxy dagger to do him any harm.


Malvel, The Dark Wizard wrote:
That's most unfortunate, for you that is. After all, I only smacked you because you said something ridiculous (not to mention that Count Reiner Heydrich, your vast "collection" of housemaids, your patron deity and all your family smack you for the same reason). Actually, I understand that your sister crucifies your genitalia and then feeds it to your pet mastiff, creative lady.

You understand wrong - I'm not going anywhere near Alphonse's bits for any reason, let alone feeding them to Poochums, who has a very sensitive tummywummy, don't you? Don't you?

Sovereign Court

*Rises from the ground, now that Comte de Malodor has pulled out the dagger, the sound is slowly healing.*

I live! Indeed, it does take more than that to kill me.

*Turns to Lady Blackmoor.*

My apologies, on Malvel's behalf, he thought it was you who does that. When I know it is your mother who is the one that does that (but not with YOUR poochums, with her own).

So, who is the culprit?

Liberty's Edge

*...nooneenooneenoo...*

*rolls slowly by, innocently vacuuming the hallway*

Bluff, masterwork tool bonus: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (16) - 1 = 15


Pathetic.

Although it's the sort of thing that Mummy would do, she's gone beyond that now she has her own layer of the Abyss. Isn't that right, Alphonse?


*Shudders*


Comte de Malodor wrote:
Vidmaster7 wrote:
My grandpa is or was a Free mason. Its nice he has a little sticker in his back windshield and the police don't pull him over.
I bet he never got up to half the stuff that we do in our lodge.

I wouldn't know he doesn't talk about it or the war. He doesn't hardly ever mention the past really.

Sovereign Court

Well, you know what they say: "yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift - that's why it is called the present".

Sovereign Court

For someone hellbent on ruling over many kingdoms, Malvel, you're being very laid back and slow. Shouldn't you be causing havoc with a multitude of deadly beasts at your command?


Beware the Bakers.

Scarab Sages

Vidmaster7 wrote:
Beware the Bakers.

They're very very frightening.


Gallileo, Gallileo, Gallileo, Gallileo,


Hold on while I lay these figs in a row.

Sovereign Court

*Vomits at the thought of that.*

Sovereign Court

*listens to a bit of Pavarotti*

Magnifico!

Liberty's Edge

*covers self in lettuce, assorted fried seafood, and what is either some kind of Cajun sauce, or molten candlewax mixed with gallium; looks around for, but cannot find, bread*

I'm just a po'boy - but nobody loaves me!


Are we still doing that?

Scarab Sages

Don't mind him, he's just a po'boy...

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