Last one to post wins


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Beware - in some cases, the remedy is worse than the disease...


Reminds me of an Otep song

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I thought you were turned to stone.


I got better.

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You can thank Dr G House for that. I may have had to rely on GoatToucher to deal with my beasts as of recently (as I had explained previously), but the good doctor is a master of alchemy and surgery (among other medical avenues).


How does he do with newts?

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Better than he does with salamanders, I'd wager. You are talking about Dr G House and not GoatToucher right?

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Ka-zott!


I don't want to know how goattoucher does with newts.


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That's a shame, because I'm going to show you, via the medium of interpretive tap-dance.

*Tap tap tappitytappity TAP tappity TAP TAP tap tappitytappity tap TAP TAPTAP tap TAP tap*


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I need more things explained to me in the form of interpretive tap-dance.

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Well don't look at me for something like that! I'm not into prancing around like a demented reindeer with an elf shoved up its backside or flapping about like a chicken with its head cut off! Besides, I'm in my fifties (dancing is only for the young and/or stupid), I have more important things to do (like conquering various kingdoms with an army of beasts), I'm quintessentially evil (not an of either goodness or kindness in me) and - most importantly - wizard robes aren't exactly known for being easy to move around in.


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:enters astride a demented reindeer with an elf shoved up it's backside (feet still kicking, if feebly):

I'm sorry, what did I miss?


An elf with a demented reindeer up her backside, and all-you-can-eat waffles.


Everything.

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But, what you haven't missed, is seeing anyone's hated enemies showing up on this forum (and I'm really glad that MY hated enemies are not here). Also, you almost missed me taking part in the pathfinder version of "The Italian Job" (I'm the one with the red vehicle). But I forget who else is part of it.


...


Pulg wrote:
An elf with a demented reindeer up her backside, and all-you-can-eat waffles.

Ninja'd :(


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Pulg wrote:
An elf with a demented reindeer up her backside, and all-you-can-eat waffles.

Now that's my idea of a breakfast! Also: waffles!


No comment.

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Can't comment, just an enchanted rug made from a tiger.


Also loving husband and father, hard-working greengrocer and key member of his local Scottish Rite lodge. Don't be so modest!

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Whereas you are a negligent husband and father who regularly steals apples and oranges from the supermarket.


He only steals root vegetables these days - yams, mainly.

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Aha! So, Pulg is the infamous yam nabber of Hairy Hunchback High, it makes perfect sense now! Well don't worry, Pulg's Wives, the authorities are coming to arrest him and provide all of you with whatever your hearts desire. Now if they could only catch that gorilla that steals bananas by the bunch.


O, as I walked over GoatToucher Island,
One misty morning early,
I overheard two fair, pretty bricks,
Lamenting the life of Pulgy.

For he never stole cow, and he never stole calf,
He never hurted any,
He stole 16 of the King's royal yams,
And sold them in Kilkenny.


I win. (Final win its all over folks GG.)

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Are you sure about that? Because you never know if someone else is going to come along and write out a post, thus making them the winner. So far however, that has not yet happened, so Vidmaster7 you are indeed the winner for the time being. Congratulations.


Vidmaster7 wrote:
I win. (Final win its all over folks GG.)

Was it worth it?

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That's like asking you if it was worth stealing all of those yams.


You can never have too many yams.

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Which would be a good thing, except you told me that your wives were allergic to yams!


I have a good use for yams.


Alphonse, leave the yams alone.


Come on, my wives are bricks. Bricks! Bricks are allergic to precisely nothing.


Alphonse, don't interfere with Pulg's wives.


Mummy's right. No yams.


Guys guys GUYS! look I appreciate your attempts here but clearly the game is over and I am the winner. You are all welcomes to start a new thread and play again however.

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Claiming victory on this thread is like when I drain the blood from one of my victims. It's fun and you get a good, satisfactory feeling from it but ultimately the thrill ends quickly and you have to start all over again. Unless, obviously, you are GoatToucher in which you can do anything and the thrill will never go away.


And yet it doesn't stop people!

Also I win!


Great. Pass 'Go', collect $200, and here's an elf with a waffle up his backside as well.


Wait I should be getting $200 every time I pass goal? Now I feel cheated.


Yes! And here's your elf!

:servants open a fifty gallon drum bearing the label "GoatToucher Brand Elf (in light lubricant)". As the lid comes off, the elf gasps for air and seems very alarmed as the servants grab him by an arm an a leg and approach V7:

You may want to brace yourself. Take deep breaths.

:the servants begin to swing the elf, directing him at V7's fundaments:

Lead Servant: "One!" :swing: "Two!" :swing: "THREE!" :swing and THRUST:

:what follows is a singular experience for all those gathered, but particularly for V7 (and the elf, but who cares?):

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*Looks away, flinching.*

Woah! Right in the beard!


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Not the beard!


It had to be removed but fear not it will regrow quickly.


BY THE DIVINE COMMAND OF POGONOS, IT SHALL BE SO!


*POOF*

He is a mighty Pogonos.

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But what he didn't tell you is that you must now pay a terrible price. You have a choice, Vidmaster7, on how to repay Mighty Pogonos. They are:

1. You give him 1,000,000,000,000,000 platinum pieces or the equivalent in your body parts.
2. Or you can be his enteral slave until judgement day.
3. And if neither of those take your fancy, just force your mother to marry him.


Eh its not like it would be my mothers first marriage. or 5th yeah that will work. he will regret it soon enough.

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