The Jester

Laser Clown of the 34th Century's page

55 posts. Alias of I'm Hiding In Your Closet.


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Liberty's Edge

If *anybody's* gonna get superpowers from errant cosmic rays, it's gonna be ME!!!

The next poster acquired superpowers from an errant Harryhausen ray.

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, which responded by

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twitched suggestively at

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idiot who installed

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of Troubles was

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spacetime continuum rupture

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I blame the Vogons for the new hyperspace bypass!

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1 person marked this as a favorite.

All in a Galactic-Standard-Day's work, citizens of the cosmos! May the Schwarz be with you! LASER-CLOWN, AWAYYY!!!

I have just received a top-priority C-space distress-signal from the next poster! What seems to be the trouble?

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What? No, that's silly.

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!!!MMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOZ

*shows up, wearing a victory wreath made from faded Harriet Tubman dollar bills interwoven with slightly less-faded Muntadhar al-Zaidi New Dinars and hung with verdigris-tinted Jimmy Carter nickels and dusty Andrew Yang cred-discs, a long luxurious scarf synthesized from hagfish-slime, a coronet carved from black dwarf-matter, and a garish souvenir shirt from Lo'ihi, riding astride a beam of light that is only now flickering down from red to infrared*

That Cosmic Prix of yours? I already won last night, Your Penultimacy.

?rebmemer uoy t'noD

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Necromancy Can Fulfill Your Wildest Dreams, Charlie Brown!

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Dedrick, The Professor is a were-Tauntaun. If you look closely, you can see his form shifting back and forth.

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Quiche Lisp is banned for the brazen theft of Benito Mussolini's chin, Lex Luthor's scalp, and Maj. Kira Nerys's nose.

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...Nebago!

*runs Vidmaster7 over with a Schwartz-powered RV at a ludicrous speed*

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ASTRONOMY REPORT: YES, ALDEBARAN STILL IN THE SKY
Annoyed astrophysicists patiently explain for 1,723,109th time that confusingly-named star's ultimate demise will almost certainly be due to natural stellar forces, and not the Death Star

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*spots BabaJiBlackMagicXXXAaa-OOO-GAAH! waiting in the rafters*

Oh, BabaJi, you just can't do THAT to us! You just gotta get right outta here!

*blasts the crazy old spammer with null-matter laser in full view of everyone*

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Dunkleosteus-Chow

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The Sideromancer wrote:
Shakspar probably made sure to drop a teapot off while he was in space. A great playwright like Shagsper has enough foresight to mess with future philosophers, right?

Where, oh WHERE is Sinister Stan: Schemer Supreme when you NEED HIM?!?

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<--- So am I!

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The bear...is blue. It is beautiful....

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...ALT...

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Yes, but I'm busy.

*continues reprimanding Pulg's face, moves onward and upward from the energy-whip to the Yamok sauce*

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NO. BAD Pulg.

*lashes Pulg across the face with Ferengi energy-whip*

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Higgs-Tachyon-Matrix Laser!

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Well, that would defeat the point of such fine open-source software, wouldn't it?

The next poster will explain to us just what's so fun about picking up power converters.

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When he was a youngling, GoatToucher would drink a tall glass of frothy green walrus milk every day.

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Coazt-To-Coazt!

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Well then, shame on you. Take a closer look!

*gravitic tele-thrusts Vidmaster7 straight toward the Great Red Spot Pepperoni*

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Anyone else notice something?

Jupiter looks like a pizza - a giant g%&!!*n pizza with beige dough, white cheese, red sauce, and a single huge slice of pepperoni.

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1 @0+ y0ur 53[r3+ [0d3 r1@h+ h3r3, 1u1z!

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psyker known as Zetathoth. The Imperial chaplain struggled to maintain

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*laser-hacks StarDream.HAL, seeds AI base code with this*

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*laser-hacks Iron Federation Drone, seeds AI base code with this*

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Chuck Norris Prophet of Doom was promoted because Bruce Lee felt vaguely sorry for him.

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!!!!!MMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRVVVVV

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ZZZZZZZZZZZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!

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Pulg is a Wet Mop Daemon.

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1 person marked this as a favorite.

Ohwait...how could I possibly forget...?

SPAAAAAACE GHOOOOOOOOOOSSSST!!!

The original cartoon that had been cut tragically short by moral crusaders, AND the talk show!

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In the 34th Century, the sheer scope of inhabited space, its resources, and its needs, combined of course with inflation, has caused the very concept of money to become so meaningless in anything short of jaw-dropping quantities that land becomes currency - so yes, my plan is to go down to the shop and buy some zero-point energy muffins, quasar fruit, and superstring-cheese; I will purchase them with my Luna, and I expect the shopkeep will convert it into 1 Pluto and 1 Quaoar in change for me.

The next poster will describe what it's like to buy a loaf of bread in the 27th Century.

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*breaks out tunneling quanta-laser, shooting right past force field (as well producing a finer resulting etching, with mysterious high-energy sparkles!)*

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*jetpacks past in a flurry of laser flashes, leaving behind the word "THERE" xenon-glow-scorched into the back of Vidmaster7's head*

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*leaps into a black hole...*

...

...

...

*...and back out again*

TA-DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

The next poster will describe, in vivid detail, what I saw in the singularity!

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GM Hmm wrote:

Oh, where did this red shirt come from? It color-coordinates with my mask and cape!

*checks safety on phaser*

*ZZZORTT!*

OOPS! Oh dear...sorry, Hmm.

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*looks at Sissyl in horror* Are suggesting I shoot you both?

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*looks at Sissyl, then at Sissyl-with-Fu-Manchu-mustache*

Which one do I shoot?!?

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Ventnor, we meet again - for the first time! Won't the first time we meet be in 900 years, when we find ourselves playing a deadly game of cat-and-mouse as we chase each other around the obsidian palaces embedded, like plums in a pudding, in the mantle of Fomalhaut?

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We sucked out KahnyaGnorc's internal organs and we took some Polaroids, and said she was a darn good sport!

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Power Sword!

Power Lance!

Power Bow!

Power Flail!

Power Cuisinart!

POWER MOTLEY!!!

*sprouts Mecha-Shiva cyber-arms and kills The Invenusable Flytrap with all six weapons at once*

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The Gnorc zone has always been for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only! There has never been any stopping in the Kahnya zone.

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*jetpacks through, zaps scorching holes in everybody in sight*

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