The Jester

Laser Clown of the 34th Century's page

72 posts. Alias of I'm Hiding In Your Closet.


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Horizon Hunters

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BLACTAR: HEROINE
OF THE ANTI-GALAXY!!!
Watch out, Sailor Moon!

Horizon Hunters

Well, we've certainly outlasted most of the traffic (just like pollution)....

All your base are belong to ME!

Horizon Hunters

2 people marked this as a favorite.

“My name is George Lucas. I am a writer, director, and producer of motion pictures and Chairman of the Board of Lucasfilm Ltd., a multi-faceted entertainment corporation. I am not here today as a writer-director, or as a producer, or as the chairman of a corporation. I've come as a citizen of what I believe to be a great society that is in need of a moral anchor to help define and protect its intellectual and cultural heritage. It is not being protected.

The destruction of our film heritage, which is the focus of concern today, is only the tip of the iceberg. American law does not protect our painters, sculptors, recording artists, authors, or filmmakers from having their lifework distorted, and their reputation ruined. If something is not done now to clearly state the moral rights of artists, current and future technologies will alter, mutilate, and destroy for future generations the subtle human truths and highest human feeling that talented individuals within our society have created.

A copyright is held in trust by its owner until it ultimately reverts to public domain. American works of art belong to the American public; they are part of our cultural history. People who alter or destroy works of art and our cultural heritage for profit or as an exercise of power are barbarians, and if the laws of the United States continue to condone this behavior, history will surely classify us as a barbaric society. The preservation of our cultural heritage may not seem to be as politically sensitive an issue as "when life begins" or "when it should be appropriately terminated," but it is important because it goes to the heart of what sets mankind apart. Creative expression is at the core of our humanness. Art is a distinctly human endeavor. We must have respect for it if we are to have any respect for the human race.

These current defacements are just the beginning. Today, engineers with their computers can add color to black-and-white movies, change the soundtrack, speed up the pace, and add or subtract material to the philosophical tastes of the copyright holder. Tomorrow, more advanced technology will be able to replace actors with "fresher faces," or alter dialogue and change the movement of the actor's lips to match. It will soon be possible to create a new "original" negative with whatever changes or alterations the copyright holder of the moment desires. The copyright holders, so far, have not been completely diligent in preserving the original negatives of films they control. In order to reconstruct old negatives, many archivists have had to go to Eastern bloc countries where American films have been better preserved.

In the future it will become even easier for old negatives to become lost and be "replaced" by new altered negatives. This would be a great loss to our society. Our cultural history must not be allowed to be rewritten.

There is nothing to stop American films, records, books, and paintings from being sold to a foreign entity or egotistical gangsters and having them change our cultural heritage to suit their personal taste.

I accuse the companies and groups, who say that American law is sufficient, of misleading the Congress and the People for their own economic self-interest.
I accuse the corporations, who oppose the moral rights of the artist, of being dishonest and insensitive to American cultural heritage and of being interested only in their quarterly bottom line, and not in the long-term interest of the Nation.

The public's interest is ultimately dominant over all other interests. And the proof of that is that even a copyright law only permits the creators and their estate a limited amount of time to enjoy the economic fruits of that work.

There are those who say American law is sufficient. That's an outrage! It's not sufficient! If it were sufficient, why would I be here? Why would John Houston have been so studiously ignored when he protested the colorization of "The Maltese Falcon?" Why are films cut up and butchered?

Attention should be paid to this question of our soul, and not simply to accounting procedures. Attention should be paid to the interest of those who are yet unborn, who should be able to see this generation as it saw itself, and the past generation as it saw itself.

I hope you have the courage to lead America in acknowledging the importance of American art to the human race, and accord the proper protection for the creators of that art, as it is accorded them in much of the rest of the world communities.”

― 1988 speech before Congress

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Teddy rampages across

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Unfortunately, candy bars

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GoatToucher obligingly corked

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My, My, Mr. Alien Pie

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Pulg wrote:
Laser Clown could have zapped it with a Somnolence Ray ages ago, but no - he's too busy trying to disintegrate Vidmaster7.

I left it in Uranus, okay?!?

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Vidmaster7 wrote:
better you then me.

...But which one of you do I shoot?!?!?

*frantically shifts arsenal between Vidmaster7, and Vidmaster7-with-a-goatee-on-his-beard*

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I shapeshift into Dr. Beverly Crusher and singlehandedly escape the (rapidly-collapsing) pocket-demiplane. If there's nothing wrong with ME...there's something wrong with the UNIVERSE!

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Meanwhile, at the Hall of Justice...

...Brainiac's attempt to take over Earth's Internet is (quite accidentally) foiled by a sudden viral-video surge of Kat's Eye playing "touch tha fishie" with Aquaman!

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Whenever life gets you down, Mrs. Brown
And things seem hard or tough
And people are stupid, obnoxious, or daft
And you feel that you've had quite enough....

Just remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving
And revolving at 900 miles an hour
That's orbiting at 19 miles a second (so it's reckoned)
A sun that is the source of all our power.
The Sun and you and me and all the stars that we can see
Are moving at 1,000,000 miles a day
In an outer spiral arm, at 40,000 miles an hour
Of the galaxy we call 'The Milky Way'

Our galaxy itself contains 100,000,000,000 stars
It's 100,000 light-years side-to-side
It bulges in the middle, 16,000 light-years thick
But out by us, it's just 3,000 light-years wide
We're 30,000 light-years from Galactic Central Point
We go 'round every 200,000,000 years
And our galaxy is only one of millions of billions
In this amazing and expanding universe!

*TRIPPY INTERLUDE*

The Universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding
In all of the directions it can whizz
As fast as it can go, at the speed of light, you know
12,000,000 miles a minute - and that's the fastest speed there is.
So, remember when you're feeling very small and insecure
How amazingly unlikely is your birth
And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space
'Cause there's bugger-all down here on Earth!

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Quantum mechanic!
The matrix mathematic!
My Honda is erratic
I'll show you the schematic-matic...

Quantum mechanic!
It's costing me a packet
I know that you can hack it
I wanna see you jack it, jack it, jack it
Come on now (Dance!)
Come on now (Dance!)

Move your body
To the beat, boy
Slide your body
Next to me
And feel the rhythm
Dance with me again

Quantum mechanic!
The matrix mathematic!
My Honda is erratic
I'll show you the schematic-matic...

Quantum mechanic!
It's costing me a packet
I know that you can hack it
I wanna see you jack it, jack it, jack it
Come on now (Dance!)
Come on now (Dance!)
(Feel the rhythm and dance!)
(Feel the rhythm and dance!)
(Dance!)

Move, move to the groove, just bust a move
Get with the boogie and
Sound waves in the rave, my body sways
My brain is opening
Move, move to the groove, just bust a move
Get with the boogie and
Sound waves in the rave, my body sways
My brain is opening

DJ, bomb the bass, my thoughts erase
My body's booming and
Feet, feet, feel the beat, make my own heat
Now I'm complete
DJ, bomb the bass, my thoughts erase
My body's booming and
Feet, feet, feel the beat, make my own heat
Now I'm complete

Move your body (Move your body!)
To the beat, boy
Slide your body (Move your body!)
Next to me
And feel the rhythm (Feel the rhythm and dance!)
Dance with me again

Quantum mechanic!
The matrix mathematic!
My Honda is erratic
I'll show you the schematic-matic-matic...
Come on now

Quantum mechanic!
The matrix mathematic!
My Honda is erratic
I'll show you the schematic-matic-matic...
Come on now

Quantum mechanic!
The matrix mathematic!
My Honda is erratic
I'll show you the schematic-matic-matic...
Come on now

Quantum mechanic!
The matrix mathematic!
My Honda is erratic
I'll show you the schematic-matic-matic...
Come on now

Quantum mechanic...!!!

Horizon Hunters

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...Cosmo???

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JTDV is banned for greedily devouring The Last Anchovies In Existence.

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하나. Longshanks Is Real Monster!

둘. INVISIBLE CLOCKWORK BEWBS

셋. 29,299+ Samurai

Blastin' back to the fpastuture with these quanstwerions!!!:

Z. It's the only "sexy pinup calendar" to prominently feature Tamerlane, you know!

Y. An alternate timeline in which Jesus of Nazareth got his 15 minutes of fame, and that was IT.

X. That cat, at the end of the hallway, just...staring.

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*bursts into the room, literally astride a beam of light*

Schism Hag, JAN 6 2020 wrote:

Count Reiner Heydrich wrote:
It's going to be a very crazy year.

You have now idea how right you are.

Hee Hee Hee

*grabs Schism Hag with a cyber-sodegarami*

ALRIGHT, WHO SENT YOU HERE, AND FROM WHEN?!?

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If *anybody's* gonna get superpowers from errant cosmic rays, it's gonna be ME!!!

The next poster acquired superpowers from an errant Harryhausen ray.

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, which responded by

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twitched suggestively at

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idiot who installed

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of Troubles was

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spacetime continuum rupture

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I blame the Vogons for the new hyperspace bypass!

Horizon Hunters

1 person marked this as a favorite.

All in a Galactic-Standard-Day's work, citizens of the cosmos! May the Schwarz be with you! LASER-CLOWN, AWAYYY!!!

I have just received a top-priority C-space distress-signal from the next poster! What seems to be the trouble?

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What? No, that's silly.

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!!!MMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOZ

*shows up, wearing a victory wreath made from faded Harriet Tubman dollar bills interwoven with slightly less-faded Muntadhar al-Zaidi New Dinars and hung with verdigris-tinted Jimmy Carter nickels and dusty Andrew Yang cred-discs, a long luxurious scarf synthesized from hagfish-slime, a coronet carved from black dwarf-matter, and a garish souvenir shirt from Lo'ihi, riding astride a beam of light that is only now flickering down from red to infrared*

That Cosmic Prix of yours? I already won last night, Your Penultimacy.

?rebmemer uoy t'noD

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Necromancy Can Fulfill Your Wildest Dreams, Charlie Brown!

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Dedrick, The Professor is a were-Tauntaun. If you look closely, you can see his form shifting back and forth.

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Quiche Lisp is banned for the brazen theft of Benito Mussolini's chin, Lex Luthor's scalp, and Maj. Kira Nerys's nose.

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...Nebago!

*runs Vidmaster7 over with a Schwartz-powered RV at a ludicrous speed*

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ASTRONOMY REPORT: YES, ALDEBARAN STILL IN THE SKY
Annoyed astrophysicists patiently explain for 1,723,109th time that confusingly-named star's ultimate demise will almost certainly be due to natural stellar forces, and not the Death Star

Horizon Hunters

*spots BabaJiBlackMagicXXXAaa-OOO-GAAH! waiting in the rafters*

Oh, BabaJi, you just can't do THAT to us! You just gotta get right outta here!

*blasts the crazy old spammer with null-matter laser in full view of everyone*

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Dunkleosteus-Chow

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The Sideromancer wrote:
Shakspar probably made sure to drop a teapot off while he was in space. A great playwright like Shagsper has enough foresight to mess with future philosophers, right?

Where, oh WHERE is Sinister Stan: Schemer Supreme when you NEED HIM?!?

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<--- So am I!

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The bear...is blue. It is beautiful....

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...ALT...

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Yes, but I'm busy.

*continues reprimanding Pulg's face, moves onward and upward from the energy-whip to the Yamok sauce*

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NO. BAD Pulg.

*lashes Pulg across the face with Ferengi energy-whip*

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Higgs-Tachyon-Matrix Laser!

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Well, that would defeat the point of such fine open-source software, wouldn't it?

The next poster will explain to us just what's so fun about picking up power converters.

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When he was a youngling, GoatToucher would drink a tall glass of frothy green walrus milk every day.

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Coazt-To-Coazt!

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Well then, shame on you. Take a closer look!

*gravitic tele-thrusts Vidmaster7 straight toward the Great Red Spot Pepperoni*

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Anyone else notice something?

Jupiter looks like a pizza - a giant g%@!+*n pizza with beige dough, white cheese, red sauce, and a single huge slice of pepperoni.

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1 @0+ y0ur 53[r3+ [0d3 r1@h+ h3r3, 1u1z!

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psyker known as Zetathoth. The Imperial chaplain struggled to maintain

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*laser-hacks StarDream.HAL, seeds AI base code with this*

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*laser-hacks Iron Federation Drone, seeds AI base code with this*

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