Contributor
|
| 10 people marked this as a favorite. |
This is brilliant.
There was a lass in here last Rova, we figured out she wound up a sorcerer because her alchemist dad got addicted to dragon's blood! Never met a dragon his whole life; just bought the blood from a shifty-eyed dwarf, then his daughter winds up with claws and spells and a hankering for rubies.
Wouldn't have happened in my day.
I'm totally making this character. ^_^
| 4 people marked this as a favorite. |
That last sentence made my entire week. Beautifully done!
|
|
| 52 people marked this as a favorite. |
Here ya go Mecha :3
A Legacy Is So Much More Than Blood
Hello and welcome, friend! We here at Sandermane Archives are pleased to offer the most thorough genealogical services in all of—oh, you're a sorcerer.
No, no! Don't say anything. You're screaming it loudly enough already, from that tacky dragon tattoo to the gaudy "gold" embroidery on your robe. Who even wears a robe in the summer? I just want one month to go by without seeing one of you deadbeats in here!
Let me guess? You know a few fire spells, some scales on your tuckus, and you daddy's cousin's great-aunt claims she spent a sweaty summer night with Mengkare. And now you want me to dig up some proof of their salacious interspecies gambol so you can embrace your destiny or claim your family fortune or settle a drunken bet?
Well you know what? You're paying up front! I'm tired of getting stiffed when you lot find out there's not a drop of dragon blood in your veins, and storm out in a huff!
Oh, what's that? You say "Mom had a tail, so grandma must've been a dragon!" Pssht! Dragons are a half-step down from gods, and you're about three square meals better than a goblin. And I know you know that; that's why you want me to tell you you're really half-dragon. But a dragon wants to make babies with you about as much as you want to make babies with your rose bush! Sure, there might be a few weirdoes out there, but that takes some pretty low self-esteem or a legendary quantity of whiskey!
Oh, but you're so sure you're the exception, are you? Ha, I say! Ha! Remember when I said they were close to gods? They change all the rules. Make 'em funny. They don't need carnal relations to leave their mark on the world. Maybe your grandpappy was a loyal servant for some wyrm, and just picked up a little taint to his blood hanging around so much—happens to kobolds all the time! Or maybe your great aunt helped slay an ancient wyrm. Or was standing too close when someone else did. Maybe your mom built her farm over the grave of some long-dead dragon's hoard. There was a lass in here last Rova, we figured out she wound up a sorcerer because her alchemist dad got addicted to dragon's blood! Never met a dragon his whole life; just bought the blood from a shifty-eyed dwarf, then his daughter winds up with claws and spells and a hankering for rubies.
Wouldn't have happened in my day.
It's not all bad. So you can't order your dragon grandma to lay waste to your enemies or claim some legendary pile of gold. Most folk can't! But see dragons impact everything they brush up against, not just people. They leave knowledge and magic and treasure wherever they go, and weirder bits, too. Dragons change the way the world works, and if you study them, you can too! There are these eccentrics in Katapesh can draw out dragon magic by worshipping dragons like gods—even turn into dragons, from what I hear! And Druma has these witches, they learn their magic by gathering up hoards of gold, no spooky deals with the powers-that-be required. Heck, we got a gladiator in this city who claims she learned to fight from a linnorm, and to see the way she tears open anyone that hits her, you'd believe it. You think you're limited without dragon blood, but the truth of the whole deal is that you're never limited just by your blood.
That's why being a genealogist is better than being well-bred!
Of course, you're still limited by your gold. Secrets don't come cheap, whether they're family indiscretions or secret techniques to tame a drake. One advantage to the many, many egotistical sorcerers who walk through those doors and hire me to peek into draconic history is that I have become quite the tidy expert of the subject—Probably the foremost in this city, at any rate—and I just happen to keep a copy all of my notes in this conveniently portable little folio. It's certainly a good deal cheaper—and less disappointing—than paying me to plot out your family tree on the off chance you have some scaly kin lurking around.
And look at the bright side: If you buy the folio, you never have to grapple with the existential dread that comes with discovering you're descended from a kobold.
Crystal Frasier
Developer
| 8 people marked this as a favorite. |
This whole thing makes me REALLY want a Draconic Corruption.
"I hung around a dragon too much and now I'm slowly turning into one!"
| 16 people marked this as a favorite. |
This whole thing makes me REALLY want a Draconic Corruption.
"I hung around a dragon too much and now I'm slowly turning into one!"
YES
DRAGON SICKNESS
THORIN OAKENSHIELD
| 3 people marked this as a favorite. |
Best blog post of this year by a long shot.
| 3 people marked this as a favorite. |
I buy everything Crystal has a hand in, just on spec.
| 2 people marked this as a favorite. |
we got a gladiator in this city who claims she learned to fight from a linnorm, and to see the way she tears open anyone that hits her, you'd believe it.Shut. Up. And. Take. My. Mother. F+#!ing. Money.
NOW.
That makes two of us, Rysky. :)
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
GIMME Imperial dragon bloodlines! And maybe that imperial dragon-blooded sorcerer too...
This is on my birthday wishlist for sure!
| 27 people marked this as a favorite. |
Oh my god please let the Legacy line stick and please, for the love of god, let the snarky genealogist be the voice of the blog post for all of them.
| 6 people marked this as a favorite. |
Oh my god please let the Legacy line stick and please, for the love of god, let the snarky genealogist be the voice of the blog post for all of them.
Seconded! All in favor say Aye!
All opposed.. Hush!!
| 2 people marked this as a favorite. |
...please, for the love of god, let the snarky genealogist be the voice of the blog post for all of them.
Uncle Xanxost would heartily approve. :)
| 5 people marked this as a favorite. |
I buy everything Crystal has a hand in, just on spec.
She needs her own subscription option.
| 4 people marked this as a favorite. |
Every Player Companion Blog Post should be like this.
Oh my god please let the Legacy line stick and please, for the love of god, let the snarky genealogist be the voice of the blog post for all of them.Seconded! All in favor say Aye!
All opposed.. Hush!!
Thirded. This is glorious! (Both blog post and the Legacy of Dragons, although more the former in this context. I want to spend an afternoon with Sandermane in discussion with lemonade about stuff like this).
Also, looking forward to all the archetypes listed, especially the dragon-taught fighter one. It just sounds too cool. Witch one also sounds great, as it will be interesting to see how the witch derives the power from gold.
This was so well written that I am going to buy this product for certain.
There are these eccentrics in Katapesh can draw out dragon magic by worshipping dragons like gods—even turn into dragons, from what I hear!
Is this a reference to an existing archetype or a new cleric archetype?
| 2 people marked this as a favorite. |
Bravo! This was just brilliant work! Crystal's writing could sell ice to the Inuit!
| 6 people marked this as a favorite. |
When is the rosebush bloodline book coming out?
Am I the only person that found that blog post a bit off-putting? It contains about 4 lines of actual info about the book and the rest comes across as slightly irritating.
Don't get me wrong, I love Crystal Frasier's work, but I'd rather see an actual preview rather than some in-character waffle and three or four vague hints.
| 2 people marked this as a favorite. |
Am I the only person that found that blog post a bit off-putting?
You must read between the lines. This sole post has provided us with so many insights about the book. Now we know that - obviously, as a player companion - it will tell us more about the people that came in contact with the dragons rather than the dragons. We also got to know some places that are related to dragons and might get some attention in the book (Katapesh and Druma are some of them - and Tymon on the River Kingdoms, probably). Also, news about the archetypes (Linnorms are actually capable of teaching you something, not only bite and slash). We got to know a good amount of ways you could end up with the dragon legacy (even by living over a dragons grave).
This post was probably intended to grab your attention by tempting your imagination. I'm sure some might come to buy the book just out of curiosity. Well, there are those that are just waiting them to "shut up and take our money!" already.
Now I got myself trying to figure out where the genealogist actually is. Where is the "Sandermane Archives" located? Is it a shop, a library an academy?
The most prominent hint was talking about gladiator in the city, and the tattooed half-orc image "screaming it loudly enough already". Also, the "Good Linnorm" teacher of that gladiator as well.
My guess is Tymon, on the River Kingdoms, maybe. What is yours? Taldor? Where is it?
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
Am I the only person that found that blog post a bit off-putting?You must read between the lines. This sole post has provided us with so many insights about the book. Now we know that - obviously, as a player companion - it will tell us more about the people that came in contact with the dragons rather than the dragons. We also got to know some places that are related to dragons and might get some attention in the book (Katapesh and Druma are some of them - and Tymon on the River Kingdoms, probably). Also, news about the archetypes (Linnorms are actually capable of teaching you something, not only bite and slash). We got to know a good amount of ways you could end up with the dragon legacy (even by living over a dragons grave).
This post was probably intended to grab your attention by tempting your imagination. I'm sure some might come to buy the book just out of curiosity. Well, there are those that are just waiting them to "shut up and take our money!" already.
I got that, and I understand that it was an attempt at a slightly more interesting way of presenting what seems to be very little actual information. I just would have liked it if there was half a blog post of in-character teasers and the other half be something a little more concrete. It didn't really grab my imagination so much as annoy me that I had to listen to this guy prattle on while trying to pick out tidbits of what was actually in the book.
Just my personal preference, however.
| 2 people marked this as a favorite. |
What's so bad about having a kobold in your family tree?
| 3 people marked this as a favorite. |
Stabbyface ates Kobold legs, is Stabbyface gonna come downs with a case of Koboldses! Isn't it bad enough the Paladins already taughts Stabbyface to reads words!
Suddenly, Captain Yesterday comes out on top... wait a minute, that came out wrong.
Or did it...
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
This... this is absolutely brilliant. This genealogist needs to be in the Ironfang Invasion, Crystal.
You know you want to...
| 2 people marked this as a favorite. |
What's so bad about having a kobold in your family tree?Nothing, as long as you're cool being related to a yappy, dirt-digging coward who used to be worth 7 experience points back in 2nd Edition. And who even probably knew how to read.
This message brought to you by the Golarion Association of Goblin Growth and Burning Stuff, Also Hating Horses, Books, and Smelly Kobolds.
You seem awfully literate for a kobold hating goblin, friend.
That's ok though. We in the Kobold Defense League believe in turning the other check. In fact, I'd like to invite you and your goblin friends horde associates to visit our offices. We are always open to new faces to test tour our Dragon Temple and Trap Extravaganzorium tm
| 6 people marked this as a favorite. |
Who are the artists on the three character portraits you posted? I'd love to credit them correctly on the wiki. Thanks!