I think the word you may be looking for in relation to kobold intelligence is "cunning".
Me thinks you means "stupid".
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I think that's another word for "burn it"
If Paladins had left Stabbyface in moat, he would've hung them up by their entrails. But they just teach Stabbyface how to reads, so he locks the doors and burns them down.
Stabbyface is glads you list goblins twice.
Stabbyface flew too close to the sun and burns it. Did Stabbyface says sun? He's meant Paladin, and he ambushes him. Still burned thoughs.
That's how goblins do.
Stabbyface was kidnapped by those shiny longshanks and mades to reads books and mannerses. Stabbyface burns it downs though, uses the wordses from the books they trieds to hide in the attic. Now Stabbyface is a Magi and wents to Longacre. Hopefully there's plenty of things for Stabbyface to burns down in Hell's Vengeance.
Especially if they roll goblin babies into the mix. Stabbyface misses Mikaze!
Stabbyface gots this ones!
Is its time for Stabbyface to drops the bomb now!!!
Stabbyface ates Kobold legs, is Stabbyface gonna come downs with a case of Koboldses! Isn't it bad enough the Paladins already taughts Stabbyface to reads words!
Stabbyface can'ts help he lookses good in thems.
That orphanage is sort of bad. Where did the Paladin touch you? No touching, they makes me read bookses and "manners" whatever thoses are. Even worses they kills my whole family, and just as I was the firsts in my cages to not dies. Edit: Stabbyface is the comic relief for Our Hell's Vengeance campaign. A goblin baby who was "rescued" by Paladins and sent to an orphanage to be reformed, it didn't take, and he found some old spellbooks and mixed that with his natural fighting skill to become a magus and burn the whole place to the ground. Now he does all the shit that Tammy won't do.
At leasts I founds the bookses with the burny words. So now Stabbyface burns alls the rotten Paladins he findses.
Stabbyface escapeses from those rotten Paladins. But not before burning thems and their shitsholes orphanage to the grounds.
Lemon! Nows you tells me!
I also enjoy reading your stuff, Lemmy, ever since you solved the Great Goblin Baby Debate with your holy sword solution. That was the most zen thing I'd ever read. You figured out one-hand clapping. The elegance, the simplicity - the simple fact that any GM who said they die is by default declaring they're evil and you made the right decision and if the GM doesn't have them die, again, you made the right decision, no matter what - the God of Gods for your game has to make the call for you. Simply brilliant! Dad!?!
Stabbyface was takens to a Paladin orphanage. Where they forces him to learnses words. But Stabbyface will make them burns for it. He'll make all the shiny longshanks burn!!!
That... that was you!!!
Stabbyface burnses now?
Every Goblin meme needs a story. Stabbyface
:
Stabbyface
Male goblin magus 1 (Pathfinder RPG Bestiary 156, Pathfinder RPG Ultimate Magic 9) NE Small humanoid (goblinoid) Init +4; Senses darkvision 60 ft.; Perception +1 -------------------- Defense -------------------- AC 18, touch 15, flat-footed 14 (+3 armor, +4 Dex, +1 size) hp 11 (1d8+3) Fort +4, Ref +4, Will +3 -------------------- Offense -------------------- Speed 30 ft. Melee dogslicer +5 (1d4+1/19-20) or dogslicer +5 (1d4+1/19-20) Ranged javelin +5 (1d4+1) Special Attacks arcane pool (+1, 4 points), spell combat Magus Spells Prepared (CL 1st; concentration +4) 1st—burning hands (DC 14), magic missile 0 (at will)—acid splash, detect magic, spark[APG] (DC 13) -------------------- Statistics -------------------- Str 13, Dex 18, Con 14, Int 16, Wis 12, Cha 10 Base Atk +0; CMB +0; CMD 14 Feats Weapon Finesse Traits amoral mercenary, dangerously curious Skills Knowledge (arcana) +7, Knowledge (planes) +7, Ride +7, Sense Motive +2, Spellcraft +7, Stealth +15, Use Magic Device +5; Racial Modifiers +4 Ride, +4 Stealth Languages Common, Goblin, Halfling, Orc SQ manifestation points, ability scores Other Gear studded leather, dogslicer[ARG], dogslicer[ARG], javelin (5), backpack, bedroll, belt pouch, flint and steel, hemp rope (50 ft.), ink, inkpen, mess kit[UE], pot, spell component pouch, torch (10), trail rations (5), waterskin, 112 gp -------------------- Special Abilities -------------------- Arcane Pool +1 (4/day) (Su) Infuse own power into a held weapon, granting enhancement bonus or selected item powers. Darkvision (60 feet) You can see in the dark (black and white only). Manifestation Points, Ability Scores ([none], 13/psychic duel) Every combatant begins a psychic duel with a pool of MP equal to the combatant’s HD + the average of her Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma scores. As a free action, a combatant can draw from this pool to generate MP. A combatant who draws any numb Spell Combat (Ex) Use a weapon with one hand at -2 and cast a spell with the other. -------------------- Stabbyface, like many Goblins, was born in a shithole, and promptly thrown into a cage. However Stabbyface thrive, and he becomeses the first in his cage nots to die, or chew off any appendiges. big momses BooBoo even giveses me chickens to fight with a Dogslicer occasionally. All that changed, the day the Longshanks invaded, in their shiny armors. Oh, how its blinds me still thinking abouts it. They took poor little Stabbyfaces away to a big orphanage, there they makeses me learn wordses! from bookses, poor Stabbyface, so much was stolen froms me. Itries to gets them back by making shrineses to bigs mama monster, but they takeses my squirrel collection aways, then burns me with their water. But then Stabbyface finds the wordses they dont want me to find, the wordses that make things burn, so Stabby face learnses burny pain wordses, then he burns that shithole to the groundses, Stabbyface thinks it lookses better this way. Editor’s note: While Stabbyface believes reading his spellbooks steal the words from his brain, the act of casting spell is too intoxicating for him to give it up. Still the actual act of reading his spellbooks cause him visible distress, as he grumbles and chews and bangs his head against it, even absently licking his spellbook. Stabbyface, while not exactly a fashionista, is overly fond of fine cloaks, and is more then willing to murder for one (and has in fact been quite open about that fact). Stabbyface, 7th level
: Stabbyface, the Burny
Male goblin magus 7 (Pathfinder RPG Bestiary 156, Pathfinder RPG Ultimate Magic 9) NE Small humanoid (goblinoid) Init +4; Senses darkvision 60 ft.; Perception +1 -------------------- Defense -------------------- AC 20, touch 16, flat-footed 16 (+4 armor, +1 deflection, +4 Dex, +1 size) hp 65 (7d8+21) Fort +8, Ref +7, Will +7 -------------------- Offense -------------------- Speed 30 ft. Melee +1 flaming dogslicer +12 (1d4+2/19-20 plus 1d6 fire) Special Attacks arcane pool (+2, 9 points), magus arcana (arcane accuracy[UM], silent magic[UM]), spell combat, spell recall, spellstrike Magus Spells Prepared (CL 7th; concentration +11) 3rd—fireball (DC 18), haste 2nd—burning gaze[APG] (DC 17), fire breath[APG] (DC 17), spider climb, web (DC 16) 1st—burning hands (DC 16), color spray (DC 15), feather fall, magic missile, mudball[ARG] (DC 15) 0 (at will)—acid splash, daze (DC 14), detect magic, prestidigitation, spark[APG] (DC 15) -------------------- Statistics -------------------- Str 13, Dex 18, Con 14, Int 19, Wis 12, Cha 10 Base Atk +5; CMB +5; CMD 20 Feats Combat Reflexes, Extra Arcane Pool[UM], Spell Focus (evocation), Weapon Finesse, Weapon Focus (dogslicer) Traits amoral mercenary, dangerously curious Skills Climb +5, Intimidate +5, Knowledge (arcana) +14, Knowledge (dungeoneering) +10, Ride +8, Sense Motive +8, Spellcraft +14, Stealth +20, Use Magic Device +11; Racial Modifiers +4 Ride, +4 Stealth Languages Azlanti, Common, Goblin, Halfling, Orc SQ knowledge pool, manifestation points, ability scores, medium armor Combat Gear cloak of fangs[ARG], potion of cure moderate wounds (2), alchemist's fire (2), antitoxin, bottled lightning[UE] (3), pig grease, sneezing powder[APG] (2); Other Gear mithral shirt, +1 flaming dogslicer[ARG], scarlet and blue sphere ioun stone, ring of protection +1, backpack, bedroll, belt pouch, bufo (per jug)[UE], doctor's mask, flint and steel, hemp rope (50 ft.), ink, inkpen, mess kit[UE], pickles, goblin (per jar), pot, soap, spell component pouch, torch (10), trail rations (5), waterskin, 288 gp, 5 sp -------------------- Special Abilities -------------------- Arcane Accuracy +4 (Su) 1 Arcane Pool: +4 to attack rolls until the end of your turn. Arcane Pool +2 (9/day) (Su) Infuse own power into a held weapon, granting enhancement bonus or selected item powers. Combat Reflexes (5 AoO/round) Can make extra attacks of opportunity/rd, and even when flat-footed. Darkvision (60 feet) You can see in the dark (black and white only). Knowledge Pool (Su) Spend Arcane Pool points to prepare a magus spell that is not in your spellbook for 1 day. Manifestation Points, Ability Scores ([none], 20/psychic duel) Every combatant begins a psychic duel with a pool of MP equal to the combatant’s HD + the average of her Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma scores. As a free action, a combatant can draw from this pool to generate MP. A combatant who draws any numb Medium Armor (Ex) Medium armor proficiency and no Arcane Failure chance in medium armor. Silent Magic (1/day) (Su) 1/day, cast a spell as if Silenced without altering the casting time or level. Spell Combat (Ex) Use a weapon with one hand at -2 and cast a spell with the other. Spell Focus (Evocation) Spells from one school of magic have +1 to their save DC. Spell Recall (Su) Spend your Arcane Pool to recall spells you have already cast. Spellstrike (Su) Deliver touch spells as part of a melee attack.
Every Goblin meme needs a story. Stabbyface.
: Stabbyface
Male goblin magus 1 (Pathfinder RPG Bestiary 156, Pathfinder RPG Ultimate Magic 9) NE Small humanoid (goblinoid) Init +4; Senses darkvision 60 ft.; Perception +1 -------------------- Defense -------------------- AC 18, touch 15, flat-footed 14 (+3 armor, +4 Dex, +1 size) hp 11 (1d8+3) Fort +4, Ref +4, Will +3 -------------------- Offense -------------------- Speed 30 ft. Melee dogslicer +5 (1d4+1/19-20) or dogslicer +5 (1d4+1/19-20) Ranged javelin +5 (1d4+1) Special Attacks arcane pool (+1, 4 points), spell combat Magus Spells Prepared (CL 1st; concentration +4) 1st—burning hands (DC 14), magic missile 0 (at will)—acid splash, detect magic, spark[APG] (DC 13) -------------------- Statistics -------------------- Str 13, Dex 18, Con 14, Int 16, Wis 12, Cha 10 Base Atk +0; CMB +0; CMD 14 Feats Weapon Finesse Traits amoral mercenary, dangerously curious Skills Knowledge (arcana) +7, Knowledge (planes) +7, Ride +7, Sense Motive +2, Spellcraft +7, Stealth +15, Use Magic Device +5; Racial Modifiers +4 Ride, +4 Stealth Languages Common, Goblin, Halfling, Orc SQ manifestation points, ability scores Other Gear studded leather, dogslicer[ARG], dogslicer[ARG], javelin (5), backpack, bedroll, belt pouch, flint and steel, hemp rope (50 ft.), ink, inkpen, mess kit[UE], pot, spell component pouch, torch (10), trail rations (5), waterskin, 112 gp -------------------- Special Abilities -------------------- Arcane Pool +1 (4/day) (Su) Infuse own power into a held weapon, granting enhancement bonus or selected item powers. Darkvision (60 feet) You can see in the dark (black and white only). Manifestation Points, Ability Scores ([none], 13/psychic duel) Every combatant begins a psychic duel with a pool of MP equal to the combatant’s HD + the average of her Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma scores. As a free action, a combatant can draw from this pool to generate MP. A combatant who draws any numb Spell Combat (Ex) Use a weapon with one hand at -2 and cast a spell with the other. -------------------- Stabbyface, like many Goblins, was born in a shithole, and promptly thrown into a cage. However Stabbyface thrive, and he becomeses the first in his cage nots to die, or chew off any appendiges. big momses BooBoo even giveses me chickens to fight with a Dogslicer occasionally. All that changed, the day the Longshanks invaded, in their shiny armors. Oh, how its blinds me still thinking abouts it. They took poor little Stabbyfaces away to a big orphanage, there they makeses me learn wordses! from bookses, poor Stabbyface, so much was stolen froms me. Itries to gets them back by making shrineses to bigs mama monster, but they takeses my squirrel collection aways, then burns me with their water. But then Stabbyface finds the wordses they dont want me to find, the wordses that make things burn, so Stabby face learnses burny pain wordses, then he burns that shithole to the groundses, Stabbyface thinks it lookses better this way. Editor’s note: Stabbyface was born in a shitty warren in Isger, which was then invaded by Paladins of Iomedae, who took Stabbyface and his siblings back to their orphanage on the outskirts of Cheliax. While Stabbyface believes reading his spellbooks steal the words from his brain, the act of casting spell is too intoxicating for him to give it up. Still the actual act of reading his spellbooks cause him visible distress, as he grumbles and chews and bangs his head against it, even absently licking his spell book. While Stabbyface has almost no concept of fashion, he has a weakness for fine cloaks, and is willing to murder to get one, and is very upfront about it.
A bit late, but here you are. Stabbyface
: Stabbyface
Male goblin magus 1 (Pathfinder RPG Bestiary 156, Pathfinder RPG Ultimate Magic 9) NE Small humanoid (goblinoid) Init +4; Senses darkvision 60 ft.; Perception +1 -------------------- Defense -------------------- AC 18, touch 15, flat-footed 14 (+3 armor, +4 Dex, +1 size) hp 11 (1d8+3) Fort +4, Ref +4, Will +3 -------------------- Offense -------------------- Speed 30 ft. Melee dogslicer +5 (1d4+1/19-20) or dogslicer +5 (1d4+1/19-20) Ranged javelin +5 (1d4+1) Special Attacks arcane pool (+1, 4 points), spell combat Magus Spells Prepared (CL 1st; concentration +4) 1st—burning hands (DC 14), magic missile 0 (at will)—acid splash, detect magic, spark[APG] (DC 13) -------------------- Statistics -------------------- Str 13, Dex 18, Con 14, Int 16, Wis 12, Cha 10 Base Atk +0; CMB +0; CMD 14 Feats Weapon Finesse Traits amoral mercenary, dangerously curious Skills Knowledge (arcana) +7, Knowledge (planes) +7, Ride +7, Sense Motive +2, Spellcraft +7, Stealth +15, Use Magic Device +5; Racial Modifiers +4 Ride, +4 Stealth Languages Common, Goblin, Halfling, Orc SQ manifestation points, ability scores Other Gear studded leather, dogslicer[ARG], dogslicer[ARG], javelin (5), backpack, bedroll, belt pouch, flint and steel, hemp rope (50 ft.), ink, inkpen, mess kit[UE], pot, spell component pouch, torch (10), trail rations (5), waterskin, 112 gp -------------------- Special Abilities -------------------- Arcane Pool +1 (4/day) (Su) Infuse own power into a held weapon, granting enhancement bonus or selected item powers. Darkvision (60 feet) You can see in the dark (black and white only). Manifestation Points, Ability Scores ([none], 13/psychic duel) Every combatant begins a psychic duel with a pool of MP equal to the combatant’s HD + the average of her Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma scores. As a free action, a combatant can draw from this pool to generate MP. A combatant who draws any numb Spell Combat (Ex) Use a weapon with one hand at -2 and cast a spell with the other. -------------------- Stabbyface, like many Goblins, was born in a shithole, and promptly thrown into a cage. However Stabbyface thrive, and he becomeses the first in his cage nots to die, or chew off any appendiges. big momses BooBoo even giveses me chickens to fight with a Dogslicer occasionally. All that changed, the day the Longshanks invaded, in their shiny armors. Oh, how its blinds me still thinking abouts it. They took poor little Stabbyfaces away to a big orphanage, there they makeses me learn wordses! from bookses, poor Stabbyface, so much was stolen froms me. I tries to gets the words back by making shrineses to bigs mama monster, but they takeses my squirrel collection aways, then burns me with their water. But then Stabbyface finds the wordses they dont want me to find, the wordses that make things burn, so Stabby face learnses burny pain wordses, then he burns that shithole to the groundses, Stabbyface thinks it lookses better this way. Editor’s note: Stabbyface was born in a shitty warren in Isger, that was invaded by Paladins of Iomedae, who brought the babies back to their orphanage on the outskirts of Cheliax. While Stabbyface believes reading his spellbooks steal the words from his brain, the act of casting spell is too intoxicating for him to give it up. Still the actual act of reading his spellbooks cause him visible distress, as he grumbles and chews and bangs his head against it, even absently licking his spell book. While Stabbyface doesn't care about how nice his clothing is pre se, he's a big fan of well made cloaks, and is willing to kill for one if need be, and is quite open about it.
Stabbyface does, the Paladins's sprays me when I makeses shrines to mother monster mother outs of sticks, and squirrelses at the orphanage.
I figured out who will be my third evil character... :-)
Pleases, giant snakes lady, Stabbyface wants to lives, stop falling on hims.
Stabbyface stabs'es bard with flaming guitar, once's.
Stabbyface wants's bubble tea.
Stabbyface poksie Koboldsies?
Hey, at least I had the running gag about tons of babies popping out left and right to enjoy, and enjoy it I did, like a slow smoked baby goblin sandwich, because, really, what else do you expect me to do with a readily available source of meat? Raise it? I think not! Momma! Is that you! I'd thought the Paladins murdered you sleeping in the middle of the day like they did to all the rest. Goddamn savages!!
I'm pretty sure I can pull off Kathleen Turner.
Why! Why did that Paladin murder my mother! Now who's teet shall I suckle on! the world will burn for this! |