False factoids


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Were you to attempted to completely shave pulg with a pair of commercial hair clippers, the hair you first trimmed would have grown back to its original length and luster by the time you trimmed the last.


GoatToucher is the world's #1 consumer of shaved Pulg hair.


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Ventnor has a tuxedo of shaved Pulg hair but never goes any place that a dragon needs to wear a tux to.


KahnyaGnorc knows of this, because she has seen Ventor in said suit, and bought her own pulg hair suit from the same store at the time.


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The Game Hamster knows this because he was working the register at the store and experienced a bad sneezing fit while ringing up the purchases.


Fred is the Pope in the woods, or something like that. I wasn't really paying attention.


GoatToucher is what Krampus uses to scare his kids with.


KahnyaGnorc has actually met the Krampus, in fact they are very good friends...

Scarab Sages

The Game Hamster drives a Richard Scarry-style cheese-wheel-car.

Sovereign Court

IHIYC has been run over by said car, twice!


TBBWOK is sticking his head out of the car window, his tongue flapping in the breeze and his eyes bulging as he watches the cheese-wheels rotate.


I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:
The Game Hamster drives a Richard Scarry-style cheese-wheel-car.

When your this size, is there a point to driving any other kind of car?

Pulg's hair lice have founded five distinct countries inside of his fur, and the stench surrounding him is actually caused by their prolific use of biological weapons gathered from his intestines in their warfare.


The Game Hamster set out on a diplomatic mission to negotiate peace between the Pulg-Lice Nations. He ended up escalating the wars by accident.


KahnyaGnorc sabotaged the peace talks so that he could continue selling weapons to the warring nations.

By weapons, I mean various anti-lice shampoos.


Ventnor was the developer of these anti-lice shampoos, and he created the sentient lice in an effort to get rich off of being the only one with ammunition for their weapons


The Game Hamster often GMs for his own fleas.


KAHNYA-GNORC is PARt oF tHe System, anD HaS beEn ChoseN tO HeLp MaKE HaPPINess PiLLs...

SHe IS not COMMIE MUTaNT SCUM.


...
...
...
*screen goes red*

BuT EVerY ONe Is COMMIE MUTANT SCum!!!!!! THE COMPLEX HAS BEEN INVADED!!! DOes Not ComPUte!! >>><<< SYSTEM FAILURE EMMINENT - REBOOTi-

BZZZT>>>
*Screen Shuts Off*

...
*Screen turns on again*

HELLo MY NAmE Is ComPutER... YOu CaN Call Me "FrienD"
ALl oTher NaMes Are TreaSon, CItizen.


Fun fact: dragons are the reason fire retardant lice evolved.


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Fun fact:When it comes to precise pronunciation, necromancy is the most demanding school of magic.


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I read that and said to myself I bet that is a quibblemuch alias. I was not disappointed.


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Vidmaster also has lice, and has three nations of lice living in his hair, but they live out peaceful lives, being refuges from the pulg-hair nations


Until one day the pulg nation attacked!


Would you say they're "pulg-natious?"

I'll show myself out...


quibblemuch being true to his name, has been thrown out of many finer venues for arguing about pay and benefits.


Oversight LOOKS like he has only one eye, but he actually has seven . . . five are in private areas, and one is in a jar on GoatToucher's mantle.


KahnyaGnorc has decided that the computer is really more of an acquaintance. Friendships take time, y'know?


TheRE Is onLY OnE FriEnd CompuTeR, And I A<m Every>><<<OnEs FriEnd EXCept FoR YOU ANd EVery OTHer COmmiE MutANt Scum. <<<>>>

VeNTOR is A COMMIE MUTANT SCUM


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Friend computer has been a communist the entire time. Also he's a mutant too.

Scarab Sages

Sinister Stan: Schemer Supreme can crack hard tropical nuts with his own teeth.


ComPUTers Can NOT bE MuTANts FooLisH STAN-R-ScHEMer-#3

CitIZEN I'M hIDIng IN yOUR CLosET iS A MEmBER OF >>>REDACTED<<< BUt iS ALso APpoINTED to Be THE HEAD DeACON of THE CHURCH of TECHNOlOGY!


FRIEND COMPUTER IS YOUR FRIEND use to run on solar energy, but found it to unreliable, so he switched to a nitrogen power generator.

Where does he draw the nitrogen from? Well did you know that flatulence is 59 percent nitrogen. I am just saying.


Ko-Ko the Bold has been infected bu Bo-Bo the Kold.


KahnyaGnorc has an elder half-brother, KahynaGnorog.


Pulg's brothers are named Plug and Gulp. All of them were named by the Anagrammaton.


Kileanna found a large decorated box in her room two weeks ago. She hasn't dared open it yet.


Sissyl was the one who put the box there. Not even her knows what's inside.


Kileanna opened the box and discovered it was a portal to reality. She promptly closed it, burned it, and scattered its remains.

Scarab Sages

The Game Hamster has recurring delusions (or are they?) of being stalked by an ambulatory Pop-Tart.


Paizo Charter Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Starfinder Superscriber

IHIYC is a 3rd-degree black-belt in the ancient art of Swedish Kung-Fu. His accuracy with the thrown Swedish meatball makes him one of the world's deadliest assassins.


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Uncle Teddy is secretly an ambulatory Pop-Tart.


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Ventnor is odds-on favourite to become the next King of the Barnacles.


Pulgs hair lice have started to work out alliances between themselves, and are on the brink of Pulg War III

Scarab Sages

1 person marked this as a favorite.

The Game Hamster was one of the dancers for the original hamsterdance.com.


IHIYC was the subject matter for the song "Tears of a Clown."

Dark Archive

KahnyaGnorc does not sweat; when it is very hot, she ventilates excess heat by repeatedly perforating herself with a dinner fork.


Skiron travels at twice the speed of sound, the sound in question being a handful of hazelnuts rolled across a German architect's sweet chili sauce smeared thigh.


Pulg and Vid have the same hairdresser. They became close friends after spending many hours there.

(BTW, GH, I don't have anything against reality... I actually live in many simultaneous realities ;-D)


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Kileanna ate the ambulatory pop-tart.


The Game Hamster throws glass at stone houses.

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