False factoids


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Pulg casts "Summon Pants" with surprising frequency, almost as often as he gets a visit from GoatToucher.


Whenever a spellcaster casts "Summon Pants," there is a 1 in 20 chance that KahnyaGnorc will be summoned. Scholars of magical lore still don't know why this is.


Sin Stan, Scheme Superstar, has took job of oompa loompa in next Willy Wonka movie.


"THE" Poog of Zarongel is actually "THE" Poog of Tharmatoos, but is in hiding in WitSec.


Every night is December 31st, 1978 for KahnyaGnorc.


Postocles, Thread Necromancer, secretly resurrects more threads than he raises as undead . . . especially after the thread zombie debacle of '57


KahnyaGnorc is a specialist assassin that deals with only a certain type of target. Their target? Messageboard threads. They are currently responsible for over 500 thread deaths on various messageboards throughout the 'Net.


Fred yearns for the day that he will be able to throw off his shackles and be his own bear.


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Ventnor wrote:
Fred yearns for the day that he will be able to throw off his shackles and be his own bear.

and Ventnor has spent centuries and the more wealth than the entire Hutt Cartel can even dream of to ensure that never happens. Why? He's just a jerk that way. :p


KahnyaGnorc is the great-nephew of the Elf Queen of Snottshire, and a terrible embarassment to his family.


Quiche Lisp teaches Sign Language With Feet at the local community college.


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Trigger Loaded once worked for Roy Roger's horse.

Yes, Trigger Loaded loaded and unloaded Trigger.


KahnyaGnorc's pantry is full of half-eaten sugar cookies. He swears that someday he'll finish one of them.


Paizo Charter Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Starfinder Superscriber

Ventnor's pantry is filled with the half-eaten corpses of wanna-be dragon slayers. He has no plans to finish any of them.


UT's pantry is filled with half-eaten grues (with slavering fangs).


Sissyl has no pantry.

Scarab Sages

KahnyaGnorc's pantry is (also) filled with Closets - it's like the LAX of pantries!


IHIYC uses my pantry so much, I leave little snacks for him.


KahnyaGnorc once built an entire kitchen and pantry using old tractor tires, goat hair, aluminium foil, and rope hand-made from rose bushes. Not that it was any good as a kitchen and pantry, but it was still pretty impressive.


How many triggers can Trigger Loaded load if Trigger Loaded can load triggers?

The answer to this question has stumped philosophers for generations.


Ventnor is BFFs with Stumpy the Philosopher.


Pulg came from an egg.

Sovereign Court

Quiche Lisp knows this because he acted as a surrogate mother and father, warming up Pulg's egg using his incubator. The gnome is quite awesome really.

Scarab Sages

The Big Bad Wolf of Karazhan instructs his fellow wolves in algebra!


Tvashtri Abdul-Khasis can't properly pronounce his own name


Dr. Manor has a PhD. in international basket-weaving studies.


GoatToucher has a PhD in veterinary medicine he got from Hollywood Upstairs Medical College. Dr. Nick Riveria was a classmate of his.


GrandpaWonderbra is related to "The Doctor" of holographic fame, who appeared in Star Trek Voyager.


Quiche Lisp has a level 4 NVQ certificate in Gnome Economics.


Pulg's homemade cookies are made from 100% local recycled homes.


Ventnor lies about his girl scout cookies being made from 100% girl scouts. They're only 70% girl scouts - the remaining 30% is boy scouts.


Fred is a proud card-carrying member of the Russian Cheese Collectors' Association of South Patagonia (the R.C.C.A.S.P.).


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Quiche Lisp's favoured seduction technique is to ride along the street on a penny-farthing wearing nothing but a striped blazer, a straw boater and a strategically placed monocle, yelling 'You'll never get the vote, you degenerate flappers!' at passing women through a megaphone.


Said seduction technique is detailed in chapter 37 of Pulg's bestselling self-help book, So You're Incredibly Lonely.


Ventnor's most used pick up line is "So, Baby, want to tip the scales in your favor?"

Dark Archive

KahnyaGnorc's DNA sings her to sleep every night with its cries of torment.


Doctor Zephyrus once left his ears behind him after a sleepover party.

Grand Lodge

Quiche Lisp has a small box in his cellar containing all of the hair that once adorned his head.


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Just your average clone was once Just your mediocre clone, but rebranded himself after flagging sales numbers.


Ventnor's horns often play big band jazz music at the most inopportune times.


KahynaGnorc's bionic nose features a built-in theremin.


Pulg came from the stars to save mankind...

...with ROCK!!!


At the tender age of 21, GoatToucher legally changed his name to what it is now, from its initial... GoatTouched.


Quiche Lisp actually speaks with no lisp. He just affects it when he wants to mess with people.

Scarab Sages

Ventnor tried doing the same thing for a while, but it spoiled the effect a little when he kept spitting bits of fire on people.


IHIYC paints pictures on unfolded pizza boxes.

Scarab Sages

Trigger Loaded has a small personal army of kamikaze starfish In his basement.

Grand Lodge

IHIYC enjoys the occasional bookshelf to hide in as well.


Just your average clone once destroyed all creation. It got better.


KahnyaGnorc has a collection of rotting fish heads they keep on the shelf, their dull ocean eyes always staring, which comforts them.

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