False factoids

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Scarab Sages

Ventnor markets a line of boxed pasta for dragons made from solid gold. Something quick and easy, you know.

IHIYC's prefered pasta material is a 60/40 polyester/cotton blend, with a nice sauce made of liquid fabric softener.

KahnyaGnorc invested in a jewelry company once without looking at the merchandise they sold. He found out to late that they used pasta noodles when crafting jewelry.

Scarab Sages

Crag_Irons rents out the uppermost segment of his cranium to a tiny UHF television station.

IHIYC's hat is able to pick up television signals from around the world and beam the programs directly into his brain.

GW's portable wax cylinder gramophone is the envy of all his friends.

Scarab Sages

Pulg is a world-class gold-medalist in competitive fogging-up-glass-with-your-breath.

IHIYC once ate two thousand olives on a dare.

Sissyl is a frog pretending to be a human's hat.

SiStScSu runs a world-renowned pork pie sanctuary in Guam.

Pulg is my ancestor.

Vidmaster7 is calling FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!!!

GoatToucher once did NOT touch a goat. He's regretted it ever since.

Scarab Sages

KahnyaGnorc stared at a goat once. The goat stared back. They both took 1d10 ⇒ 7 SAN damage (and even more mysteriously, 1d3 ⇒ 2 CON damage) from the experience.

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IHIYC knows both why the caged bird sings AND for whom the bell tolls.

Quoth the GoatToucher, "U up?"

My old Stan's a schemer.
His schemey cream it clots.
He wears gorblimey trousers
And, at any one time, keeps in motion a truly incredible number of cunning, Byzantine, Jesuitical, mind-bending and galaxy-spanning plots.

Scarab Sages

Pulg has undiagnosed Scheme Resistance 15, and his bungling hijinks are the frequent inadvertent bane of Sinister Stan's plots.

IHIYC watches ceiling cat while ceiling cat watches you . . . you sick bastard.

KahnyaGnorc invents conspiracy theories for Walt Disney. He specializes in discreet phallic image placement.

Scarab Sages

Crag_Irons used to play electric bassoon for the California Raisins.

IHIYC once hid in George Lucas's closet, giving him the nightmares that eventually drove him to create Jar-Jar.

KG once had a stomach flu so severe that it literally turned them inside out and then right-side out again.

By all accounts, it was uncomfortable.

Paizo Charter Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Starfinder Superscriber

Goat Toucher was the model for the Easter Island Moai. Fortunately, erosion has saved us from what they originally looked like.

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Uncle Teddy is a popular supporter of the shape-shifting alien reptiles theory. In truth this is actually done to cover the truth of werebear invasion that is overtaking the northwestern United States.

The gods weren't looking when a mad scientist/wizard created Oversight . . . on the gods' part, it was an . . . oversight.

Scarab Sages

KahnyaGnorc lives in a gated community where everyone lives in a gingerbread house.

IHIYC is actually an honorary title he earned after beating a gnome barbarian chieftain at the game of stealing one sock from all pairs from the pathfinder society in Absalom.

Uncle Teddy wrote:
Goat Toucher was the model for the Easter Island Moai. Fortunately, erosion has saved us from what they originally looked like.

Ask me why they are all buried up to the neck... :wink:

Oversight, despite it's otherworldly wisdom, is, in fact the least intelligent of all the Ordoss. That's why they are relegated to this primitive backwater.

GoatToucher is the sole reason the Apocalypse has yet to start. The Antichrist is afraid of what GT would do to him, after hearing horror stories from the Four Horsemen after they ran afoul of GT's attention.

Fred stole his name from a Ukrainian Peasant after Uncle Teddy took his real name away as punishment for some unspecified sin.

Freedom Bird is blind. However, he can sense the electromagnetic field around objects, which allows him to actually see through objects; effectively making it a superpower.

Oversight is actually a microbial colony of super-alert, hyper-intelligent, incredibly powerful bacteria that have formed themselves into a shape mimicking that of a cyclopian deity.

The Game Hamster keeps a complete set of Zocchi dice in each of his cheek pouches.

Wait, a minute... Neither of those are false...
Pulg secretly wishes for a job, that way he can stop vacationing all the time.

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Game Hamster's favorite game is parcheesi. He actually despises tabletop RPGs.

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Within the massive, fiery belly of Ventnor, lives the Smith family (David, Samantha (nee Wallace), and children Trudy and Logan) in a lovely split level ranch.

When the things that go bump in the night bump into GoatToucher, they're never heard from again.

Sinister Stan has achieved world-domination... TWICE!!

Grand Lodge

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The Game Hamster is the only reason the world hasn't been dominated by SS:SS THRICE!

Scarab Sages

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Just your average clone likes his women the way his likes his coffee: Ground into powder and poured into boiling water.

IHIYC wanders the streets at night pondering wardrobes and closets, and the merits of their individual designs.

The Game Hamster has made his nest in an old, old, chewed-up printout of F.A.T.A.L.

The last time Pulg had a shave, he provided materials enough to craft clothes for a whole goblin orphanage.

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Kileanna, outraged over the price of dairy products, turned a saleswoman into a cow.

Kileanna turned the saleswoman back after she was offered an employee discount.

Ko-Ko earned her title after seeing her own shadow and not bolting back into her cave to hide forever.

Ventnor prefers the taste of gnome, hickory roosted, over the taste of dwarves. However, gnome treasure is not as high a quality as dwarven gold.

It is the age old question of immediate satisfaction or discipline planning.

Ko-Ko the Bold has a half-brother, Ko-Phee the Italic, of whom he never, never speaks.

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