*walks in with a top hat and a cane. Does a flurry of dance moves with all of his feet, which is no small feat.
Step right up folks, behind this curtain is a drastically new and improved fool.
*Draws the curtain open to reveal a mirror pointing at the audience.
Hehe.
The next poster is not amused at the sight of themselves in the mirror.
I come here to escape from reality, not stare at it!
The next poster knows what I mean...
Exactly...
That is why I choose to live as a figment of my own imagination - much better than reality.
The next poster is also a figment of someone's imagination and they are quite shocked to discover whose it is.
Hmmmm, let's see. Bruce Dickinson is my favorite tattooed millionaire. Eddie is, um, yes, he is, now that I think about it. He's my favorite slacker millionaire! Along with Winnie the Poo (favorite honey-loving millionaire), Lou Ferrigno (favorite green-n-angry millionaire), and Dodge Demon (favorite gas-guzzlin' millionaire).
The next poster has a plan to convert the Moon (convert it to what is your guess, but they just might tell you if you hush and listen)!
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In the 34th Century, the sheer scope of inhabited space, its resources, and its needs, combined of course with inflation, has caused the very concept of money to become so meaningless in anything short of jaw-dropping quantities that land becomes currency - so yes, my plan is to go down to the shop and buy some zero-point energy muffins, quasar fruit, and superstring-cheese; I will purchase them with my Luna, and I expect the shopkeep will convert it into 1 Pluto and 1 Quaoar in change for me.
The next poster will describe what it's like to buy a loaf of bread in the 27th Century.
They wake up at 4 am when the walls between ages are thinnest. He turns on the crono scope, his trivid camera, and live streams them filming Planet of the Daleks. Then he kills time for a few hours till he can temporally log on to this chat board so he and his allies can speed lurk. He only posts to draw interesting tidbits about the historical events. At 6pm that window closes, and he gets some rest for the next time window at 1am.
The next poster may have evidence of time travelers too.
Somebody went back in time and shot Hitler. The proof is: Hitler's dead. And who shot him? Hitler! TIME HITLER!
The next poster was responsible for the extinction of the dinosaurs.
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They taste great with ketchup (or catsup as it was called back in the days of the dinosaurs).
The next poster invented mushrooms.
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Yes, well... I thought a non-targeted message service would be fun as a joke. To make it extra useless, I put in a limit of 140 characters.
The next poster did something bad, but is proud.
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I'm afraid that you're going to have to narrow it down a bit, my dear.
That next poster had something bad done to them, and is proud.
I was once horsewhipped by Leanansidhe.
*stands up taller*
It was nice! :D
The next poster can fly, but not in the conventional way.
I stick a firework up my bum, light the blue touch paper, then retire.
The next poster is about to collect their exploding pension.
*Shouts down from the balcony:
"You call that a 'BOOM'? I got your BOOM right here."
*wiggles buttocks
"Ha. Ha. Get off the stage you no-faced buffoon!"
The next poster is an assassin and particularly hates theatre-goers.
Bloody theatre-goers...
The next poster points out the obvious!
In the estimation of most conventional people, I seem like a deeply disturbed person.
The next poster will tell us about the last person/animal/household applicance they coated in grease
"Did know". I mistook Zip-Zip-Zippoo for a lighter and set him on fire. With a sports coat made of grease, he went up like a fireball. Never had a chance.
The next poster carries a bag of popcorn and a battery-powered autopopper on their person at all times in case anyone starts an argument with another person.
Oh yes.
The next poster is foolish.
Just look at my first posts on here.
The next poster is facepalming at my foolishness.
I do know! I had the local Shakespeare company cast him as Falstaff!
The next poster gets the reference.
Sure. Nuclear war always does. It's really surprising how small the list of problems it won't solve is.
The next poster doesn't think nuclear war is a good idea, despite the obvious advantages.
I boughteth all this lovelye shinye armour for NAUGHT! NAUGHT, QUOTH I! 50 groats, completely wasted!
The next poster is much more careful about their groats.
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I hid the door behind a giant picture of my face and signed it up for Tinder. No one is going to come anywhere near it.
The next poster has seen that Tinder profile and has the mental scars to prove it.
I collect mental scars like trophies so it's all good.
The next poster goes uphill where ever they go.
I am the Grand Old Duke of Yo
I have 10,000 me
I marched them up to the top of the hi
That's it.
The next poster will rearrange the letters r, k, n, l and l to make a well-known phrase or saying.
Krlln, just the way to greet friends in a consonant ensemble.
The next poster believes I misunderstood something there and will explain. In detail.
KNeeL befoRe Zod, Son of Jor-eL!
The next poster has knelt before Zod, and found that it was not as bad as all that.
"Do you, Count Weiner, take this wavishing thuper thex-pot to be your lawful wedded wife, to have and to hold, in death and undeath, for the west of your unnatural life? You do? Thplendid. You may now bite the bwide."
The next poster acted for Supergirl in the subsequent divorce proceedings.
Hey, I do other things in life than transport disappointment!
The next poster totally saw this coming.
KahnyaGnorc puts eyeshadow on the eyepieces and then looks through them. This put dark circles around KahnyaGnorc's eyes in a very even, consistent pattern.
The next poster also likes to look like a raccoon.
I dress up like a tree and use a sedated raccoon to put on a puppet show.
No, not a hand puppet.
The next poster helps me put the raccoon on.
Afterwards, I help the raccoon put GoatToucher on.
Has my life come to this? Is it possible to sink any lower?
The next poster offers me escape!
I already did, my friend! ;)
The next poster brings Pulg back from the dead!!!
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*Stands before the mass of humourless people.*
And we shall rid ourselves of all who make terrible jokes, starting with the one called KahnyaGnorc!
*Grabs a sword and a touch to light the way.*
Take whatever booty you can find, but the beast is mine!
Next poster, grab your weapons, you're coming along as well!
*wields sarcasm in her right hand and irony in her left*
The next poster was there too.
I'm everywhere, fellow Lighbringer, as a part of the universal quantum consciousness crystal matrix! Time to move to a new octave!
The next poster has formed a scheme to delay the dawning of the Age of Aquarius.