The Next Poster...


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The plan is already in place. The Age of Aquarius hasn't happened yet. It's a long way away. That's the ticket. No, really, trust me.

The next poster has a bridge to sell you.


And it only has minor damage from that scene with the Balrog!

The next poster wants this bridge, but is too poor to afford it.


This will not do!!! Comrades! We must take the bridge!

The next poster would join in the revolution if only he could find it...


Revoltlution sound like great goblin, but Poog not find him anywhere.

Next poster be visiting and taking out Korean spammers.


Only the ladies and only to the Olive Garden.
What can I say, I've got a gift card.

The next poster is also still rebookmarking the Paizo chat boards they lost with the website redesign.


Still trying. Basically Paizo said, "Get off my lawn."

The next poster drives a Gran Torino.

Scarab Sages

*exits Your Closet atop Clint Eastwood's shoulders as spaghetti Western music plays*

To the Egyptian-Indonesian fusion restaurant, Clint! YAH!

The next poster wishes we all could be California girls!


It'll be a lot less crowded here, that's for sure!

The next poster's been from Phoenix, Arizona, all the way to Tacoma, Philadelphia, Atlanta, L.A. . . . AT THE SAME TIME.


It's actually very easy when you're a distributed networked AI controlling thousands of drones.

The next poster is sympathetic to the difficulties inherent in keeping track of so many different bodies all at once.


I think you're talking about my digestive system. I shouldn't have eaten that whole village of folks.

Speaking of food, the next poster has made us all some cookies!


Try one! I use only the finest ingredients.

The next poster will put my tasty treat in their mouth.


*opens mouth, only to have smoke come out.*

*via smoke signals, indicates the next poster has another unusual non-verbal form of communication.*


*via Aldis lamp*
ET TU, BRUTE?

Next poster: What if God was one of us?

Sovereign Court

Then he'd be ME!

*Insane, evil laughter.*

The next poster is also laughing to fit in but doesn't get it.

Liberty's Edge

Pathfinder Adventure, Card Game, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber

Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha, ha ha. Ha; ha. What?

Oh, I got it all right. I got mine, plus yours and your neighbors. I could get your momma's and your papa's and maybe their pet parrot's too, if - you know - I wanted to.

The next poster knows what I got.


If you would close your curtains more often, I wouldn't know these kinds of things.

The next poster has also looked through those curtains.


Love is what you got.

The next poster is a personification of another famous 90's song...

Scarab Sages

1 person marked this as a favorite.

They call me Cuban Pete!

The next poster went all the way to The Far Side.


I did! While I was there, I picked up this lovely Thagomizer!

The next poster knew Thag Simmons better than most.


He was like a brother to me.

The next poster pulled my finger ....

Liberty's Edge

Pathfinder Companion, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

And it came off in my hand! Better add it to my collection.

The next poster collects something even stranger.


I do. Would you like to see them?

:leads you down a hallway to a set of double doors. Jambi rushes to unlock and open the doors quickly enough that GT's stride is uninterrupted:

:you stand in a room with a high ceiling filled with skylights that allow the sun to beam down upon a small sitting areas with two chairs and a chez-lounge set around a table bearing a silver and ivory tea set. All around you are cabinets set into the walls, each with doors ten feet high and six feet across:

Jambi, let's show our guest the special collection.

:you stroll over to a particularly ornate cabinet, which Jambi opens to reveal several dozen commemorative plates from the Bradford Exchange. They depict luminaries from entertainment, history, and politics, as well as some lovingly depicted specimens from the animal kingdom:

Delightful, aren't they?

The next poster will describe their favorite sample from my collection.


The one with Simba and the Queen of Sheba was actually tastefully done.

The next poster sells brain bleach just outside the exit of GoatToucher's estate.


I made my first ten billion this way.

The next poster is a subcontractor I pay minimum wage to advertise my business inside GoatToucher's estate.


I demand a raise! I hear everybody else is making one dollar and thirty-five cents an hour, and I should be paid that too.

The next poster can't stop slapping themselves in the face.


*slap* *slap* *slap*

STUPID FLIES!!

Next pozter goes to 'stralia to hunt kangaroos.

Scarab Sages

It turns out that the best way to "hunt" kangaroos in Australia is to go to their grocery stores and pick up the prepackaged meat. It's basically just cheaper, healthier beef to them now...so I did what any rational individual would under the circumstances: I hunt the HUMANS who *eat* the 'roo in their steaks, sausages, and floating pies! Much more fun and challenging!

The next poster will teach us how to properly cook a traditional Castlevania pot roast.

Sovereign Court

It's quite simple really.

*Takes out a large roasting pan from the cupboard and puts it on the side.*

Once you have your pot, you then grab the next ingredient.

*A buff looking man in Spandex is brought in and then hog-tied.*

Now this is the tricky part, you must suspend the ingredient above a separate pan and drain it. But keep the liquid.

*Takes an ornate knife, slits the man's throat and pours the blood into a nearby large saucepan.*

This is where the fun begins, stuff the ingredient into the roasting pan, making sure that you push it in all the way!

*Appropriate sounds and imagery.*

With that done, pour the the liquid from the saucepan into the roasting pan, lid it and put it in the oven at 200 degrees for 7 hours.

*Does all that.*

The next poster shall be the one to take it out and finish it off when it's ready.


Hey!! I think I got a nut!
It only took me 10 years, but hey! it cracks pretty easy to!

The next poster feels morally obligated to correct the mistake.


A Blind Squirrel wrote:

Hey!! I think I got a nut!

It only took me 10 years, but hey! it cracks pretty easy to!

The next poster feels morally obligated to correct the mistake.

That's a bolt with its thread torn off. Be sure to check for holes next time.

The next poster will explain why we need hardware in our pot roast.


A balanced diet includes iron, zinc, copper, steel, titanium, and molten lava (which may contain trace metals).

The next poster has a hard time counting to zero.


One...???

The next poster is a fisherman.


And you were a ladeeee,
Would you follow me anywhere?
Would you catch my crabs?

The next poster is a man-fisher.


I am 1/16th Kingfisher.

The next poster also has a unique ancestry . . .


I am a direct descendant of the great Puss-In-Boots.

The next poster wants to be reincarnated as a parrot.


Specifically, a "parrot" from Planet Mothmen.

The next poster has their own planet and will convince us all to move there.

Scarab Sages

That would be good ol' planet Erzon! It's the only planet in the known universe to be shaped like a triangle (or an isosceles pyramid, to be more precise), we've got sharks that float through the air - don't worry, they're friendly - and gravity is OPTIONAL!

The next poster has a formidable chinbutt!


Jay Leno's chin plus Kim Kardassian's (or however it is spelled) butt. Not that it is actually part of my body. I have it in a display case.

The next poster also has an interesting conversation piece on display.


I present to you, Barry the Talking Browning Hi Power. Say hello, Barry.

"Delighted to make your aquaintance"

*BANG!*

The next poster opposes gnu control.

Liberty's Edge

Well, that would defeat the point of such fine open-source software, wouldn't it?

The next poster will explain to us just what's so fun about picking up power converters.


All these smug, immune to fire monsters are so surprised when you blast them with you sonic breath weapon!
Muhahaha!

The next poster will explain what Browning Hi Power or Gnu software is.


Browning Hi Power is the power to say "Hi" as you tan!

The next poster is planning to use this power for something Awesome(tm)

Liberty's Edge

Pathfinder Adventure, Card Game, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber

I'm opting to use it for something Rad[tm] as I'd have to pay KahnyaGnorc royalties on Awesome[tm] every time its used. Oh and HI! btw (turning a golden brown.)

The next poster drools as he thinks of something golden brown...


My sweaty First Mate's tan.

The next poster was lost at sea.


Arrh, it turns out that heavy-duty anaesthetics ain't a navigation aid after all.

The next poster has found a more effective cure for the pain.


Oh my, yes. When I am through, the pain (well, that pain) will be the furthest thing from your mind.

The next poster has listened to my latest podcast, and will provide a brief summary and review.


AÀAÀAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!!

The next poster has found something that one *can* hear you do in space.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

GO TO WARP!

AM TARDIGRADE! NEXT POSTER ISN'T! NEXT POSTER SMELLS LIKE CARTOON PLANET!


I smell like a mixture of cartoon planet and muskrat. Hmmmm, must be a Monday.

The next poster can see what I'm cooking.


MY EYES! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!

The next poster is under an official Iranian fatwa for a very silly reason.

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