The Next Poster...


Forum Games

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I do. We're going to put all those letters back...

But you aren't going to like it. :pulls on latex glove with a snap:

The next poster is just going to let it happen. Just let it happen...


That's the story of my life

The next poster has something to add that has nothing to do with reality.


Beans!

The next poster successfully took the test of the Starstone, but unfortunately, there was only one portfolio left...

Scarab Sages

Forum Games...and Hiding In Your Closet.

The next poster has accurately replicated the 9 layers of Hell in sandwich form, utilizing 9 different types of bread and at least 9 different fillings.


Oh yes. It took a wish to do it too. Now... I wouldn't recommend it. Infinite planar layers unfortunately means an infinite amount of melted pepper jack.

The next poster has a suggestion to save our world from infinite amounts of cheese, jam, and sauce. Quickly.


I’ve just lit the Bleached Otyugh beacon. Don’t worry folks, help is on the way!

The next poster has just thought up the worst commando name.


Butterfly?, Tinkerbell?, Sissyl? I just can’t decide.

The next poster dies not spend far too much time thinking about pathfinder

Liberty's Edge

Pathfinder Adventure, Card Game, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber

My epitaph says, "Here lies, uh forget it, which is better for a beast master hunter...gnome or halfling?"

The next poster found themselves in a poster, but which one exactly?


The one whic does not exist

The next poster is a giant tentacle abominable nation


I really have to drinking potions given to me by mysterious old strangers.

The next poster has found the cure.


Aha! I have finally found the cure for zombie rot! I will now hold it out of reach of the public and sell it big to a private party...

The next poster suffers from a rare disease.

Sovereign Court

This face, which earned a mother's fear and loathing...a mask my first unfeeling scrap of clothing....

Pity comes too late! Next poster, turn around and face your fate!


My fate has yet to be determined...

The next poster is the real poster so please stand up.

Scarab Sages

*stands up*

...

*gets shot*

The next poster has learned not to stand up - but has also chosen a very obvious piece of cover.


This gigantic target is the perfect cover!

The next poster lost a wager they really shouldn’t have made.


I really need to quit betting people that I can lick my elbows.

The next poster is the poster child of a good poster and will post a post to prove it.

Liberty's Edge

Pathfinder Adventure, Card Game, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber

[Uncorks tube, unfurls poster of an a-post-le child's posting a poster posthaste upon a post, behind which a postman is sup-post-edly putting plenty of postal parcels precariously-positioned in his post-erior pockets.]

The next poster will use more alliteration in their post than this one.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Many moons on the moors make men mate Mary Tyler Moore's mother merrily upon a melancholy mule named Margaret. Margaret misses a mote of Mephistopheles and milks Missy the moo cow momentarily. The men, Moore's mother, Margaret, and Missy all meander to the Midgard Market where they make off with many mats, each with multiple markers, marked for Matt, the Marker Monarch. Their master plan was nearly messed up by Matt's Mecha, but they messaged Magneto, whose magnetism made Matt's Mecha do the Macarena, while mastering Math.

The next poster hates the letter M with a passion.

Scarab Sages

Just look at it! Can't you see the pointed nose, the drooping mustache? It's OBVIOUSLY a hidden slur against Kaifeng Jews!

The next poster is a total SJW - which, of course, stands for "San Jose Warlock."


1 person marked this as a favorite.

It actually stands for Skeleton Jazz Wizard, oo-boo-bebopdebop skiddlyoobie ablihoo doowahbadidbble shooshoo squadulb.

The next poster will translate the previous sentence from Aklo into Common, and hopefully won't perish or go insane in the process.


"One day, Yog Sothoth the Aardvark went quantity-surveying." I am... unsure of the point of this.

The next poster will explain. And since I am not too keen on robins, they will have to redact the material.


Quantity-surveying is simply the [REDACTED] of [REDACTED] where [REDACTED] is [REDACTED].

The next poster IS keen on robins, especially those who are red, Baskin', or rockin'. (keen robins crit on their tweets on a 19-20)


I also like Boy Wonder Robins and Robin Williams.

The next poster is having pun too.:)


How did you know I bought a Fiat Punto?

The next poster is a grandmaster spy and knows where I do my shopping.


I have been following your habits! You shop on QVC all the time, of course that's when you cant find what you are looking for in Diagon alley.

The next poster thinks I am the most fashionable.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Oh yes. Once you are flensed, your muscles and tendons stripped and separated, your organs categorized by size, weight, and tensile strength, and your bones appropriately carved, shaved, and polished, I would be able to fashion you into all manner of useful things!

I would, of course, keep your skull and eyes intact, contained in a bottle of nutrient fluid and kept alive by unwholesome enchantments so that you could watch the proceedings.

The next poster has no mouth, but must scream.


Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmgh!

Mmmmgh. Mmmmmgh mgh mggggggh.


She's on to something!

The next poster is making thanksgiving dinner for me.


You put the firework in the pickle juice then stuff it in the turkey.
You put the firework in the pickle juice then stuff it in the turkey.
You put the firework in the pickle juice then stuff it in the turkey.
Please kill the turkey first.

The next poster stowed away on the 'Mayflower'


Ah yes Floatsam and Turdsam as we affectionately called it. Even the fish stopped following the ship five weeks in. When they found me, I was almost emaciated. or emancipated? or expatiated? Conciliated? Can't remember, but I had to do a fancy barrel role to get out of there before they made me pay for the trip which consisted solely of washing the poop deck...in some ways I miss ol' Floatsam and Turdsam.

The next poster has changed history without our knowledge.

Liberty's Edge

Pathfinder Adventure, Card Game, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber

And you will never know, except for the parts about Goat Toucher and Goblinbane being spiritual twins separated at puberty only to dsicover one another's innie-bellie buttons at the blashpemous triple wedding of Pulg and JTDV and Ventnor; and why I'm Hiding In Your Closet is. Wait I can't tell you that.

But maybe the next poster can.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Well, when a mommy I'm Hiding In Your Wardrobe and a daddy I'm Hiding In Your Entertainment Center love each other VERY much . . .

The next poster is confused about the birds and the bees . . .


Thoes 2 critters are totally incompatible with each other.

The next poster is also taking something horribly literally.


The weatherman told me it was going to rain CATS AND DOGS!!! The poor animals! They will be splattered across the country after falling from miles high, spreading a carpet of blood and entrails everywhere! It's terrible! WHY WON'T SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN???????????????

The next poster will tell us why not.

Sovereign Court

Because the repulsive little brats are better off serving as my personal food source, that's why not!

The next poster tried to report me to the authorities, only to be arrested by them instead.


Really, I don’t know what I expect things to go my way at this point.

The next poster is also disappointed in reality.


The UI is terrible, the character stats are typically worthless, and the classes you choose from aren't even Tier 6!

The next poster doesn't believe in "reality."

Liberty's Edge

Pathfinder Adventure, Card Game, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber

Reality is virtually non-existent, except virtual reality which exists. In virtual reality I play a character in a modern game where I sleep, dress, eat, dress, work, watch tv, and sleep again. The funnest game ever, except every other one.

The next poster doesn't believe in realty.


Yeah. "Houses" are a social construction. One that we have been conditioned to believe is true from the first "room" we are born in. But there is hope!

The next poster has a suggestion for what we should do to escape this self-destructive "house" society and emerge into true freedom.


Tents on steamrollers.

The next poster snared their life partner by serenading them in CB radio slang.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

♬ You were a Lot Lizard
being chased by the Town Clown
lookin' for a hoe down
when I drove by.♩

♬ So I smacked him down
got in your Pregnant Roller Skate
called it our first date
oh me oh my♩

Chorus:
♬ Now we're at a Nap Trap looking to cap
off all these lovin' feelings
But I hope we're not Spliced when I just wanted to nice
you from the floor to ceiling♩

♬So I hope you don't hate when I Stack Them Eights
But surely it's time to run
You always be my darlin', love
And if you need me again...♩

Everybody sings this part:
Go To Channel 41!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The next poster is on fire.


Huh. Wednesday already?

*Notes roiling inferno where right hand used to be.*

Yup, it’s Wednesday all right.

The next poster is also having a mundane Wednesday.


Anti-magic fields will due that to ya.

The next poster is having fun in a wild magic zone.


Yes. That's what I call my [REDACTED]. That is where the magic happens, after all.

The next poster has put on a few "wild magic shows" at my place.

Sovereign Court

It was while I was going through my angst teenage vampire years. The rest explains itself really.

The next poster divulges all the details about those "wild magic shows" and as punishment must create my squat (space dwarves) army.

Liberty's Edge

Pathfinder Adventure, Card Game, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber

Sorry, GoatToucher made me sign a NDA about those "wild magic shows" so I could get in to join in. There won't be any details forthcoming, except the one where there was this goat...

Oh wait I digress, while the next poster ingresses.


Not only do I ingress but I do so through walls. The Kool-Aid Man is my spirit animal.

The next poster is GoatToucher's spirit animal . . .


Believe it or not, The CLAW embodies his *higher* nature...such as it is.

There is power, power, wonder-workin' power in the precious blood of the next poster!


My blood burns with a passion, such power in my veins.
*Fireballs the nearest peasant to show it*

The next poster has been vigilantly defending the Mexican border from construction workers, who were trying to build a wall on its border.


*gazes over to Guatemala* I'm ready for the workers . . .

The next poster is also on the wrong border...

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