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Summon Muenster I. Summons a whole muenster cheese.

237. The scene of a battle. A nearby body seems inordinately filled with arrows, bullet holes, and blast marks. A tattered nametag on its breast indicates his name was 'Will'.

238. An evil wizard on a coast pulls out a black lotus as a material component right before casting a spell that drains all the PCs' life or summons hordes of Relentless Rats.
Wait... did I say 'evil'. I meant... 'the best'. Yeah... the best wizard on the coast....

You really have to watch out for their lawyers.

323. Symbol of Toe Popping

Evocation
Level cleric/oracle 3; sorcerer/wizard 3; witch 3; Domain rune 3
Components V,S, M (bag of caltrops worth at least 1 gp)
Saving Throw Fortitude negates; Spell Resistance Yes

As symbol of death except affected creatures take 10 force damage to their feet every round they remain in the area. A successful Fortitude save negates the damage. Once triggered, the symbol becomes active and glows, lasting for 10 minutes per caster level or until it has dealt 10 damage per caster level to creatures. Creatures nearest the symbol save first, Creatures without feet or smaller than Tiny are unaffected by this symbol and do not trigger it. Undead and Constructs are not immune to this spell's damage but may be immune to some of its other effects (GM's call, see below).

Creatures taking damage have their speed reduced by half for all movement involving their feet (which can include Climbing or Swimming). A charging or running creature taking this damage immediately stops. Additionally, creatures with toes (GM's determination) have them mangled, gaining bleed 1 and a –2 penalty to attacks and damage (minimum 1) for claw attacks (including rake or rend attacks) using their legs and feet. This does not apply to hooves, trample, slams, kicks, or claws on hands or upper limbs. The penalty to movement and claw attacks remains for 24 hours or until all the spell's damage is healed (the bleed can be treated normally). A creature cannot be reduced below 1 hit point by the symbol's damage and the bleed damage ends if they fall unconscious. Despite the name, toes are not removed, popped, or blown off, only mangled, and do not require regeneration, only normal healing.

I would make it a spell level higher. Is the somatic component Poping and locking for bards?

Some people started screaming bloody murder when I suggested an epic feat, maximum remover. Maybe add 1 to the maximum per additional spell level it is cast at. You need maximize spell as a prerequisite. I would call it ease maximum.

322. Symbol of head explosion
School: Evocation
Level: 9
Casting time: Standard action
Components: V,S,M (Mercury and phosphorous, plus powdered diamond and jet worth 20,000 gp)
Range: As symbols
Target As symbols
Duration As symbols
Saving Throw/ Spell resistance Will negates/ yes
Notes It takes the form of X/0 surrounded by a thick black circle.
To make it permanent costs 100,000. In all other ways it functions as the spell explode head in Occult Adventures.

Yes, as an unreal number you can have X/0 going downward from the number line. Mathematically you can depict it. Even in a simulation, like Pathfinder, you would have to go to a chaotic outer plane and be merging apples. One apple divided by one is also one apple left alone.

Unreal numbers are imaginary. Real numbers can be represented by real things. You can have 1 apple. You can dig a hole 2 feet deep giving you a hole -2 feet above ground. But an apple divided zero times cannot exist in this world.

More on fourth wall. After 10th level or dice they can widen and lean through the scrying device. After 15th, they can climb completely through.

Symbol of head explosion. It's X over 0 as a fraction. Possibly level 9 or epic.

I flunked pre-algebra. Algebra floor would make a good trap. Step on the floor and you must Will save or become confused.

Looking at insanity. It's a constant confusion, so a minus on the behavior chart would be appropriate. That would mean a greater chance of acting normally. Also decimals are not allowed. Round that number up.

The Holey Swiss Bible

The fires of creation are still going on at the edge of the universe.

Pieces of space may be mitigating the expansion of the universe slowing it's eventual dissolution.

If they have loophole they can demand the wimp make a touch attack on their turn.

31: Clothes make the character
When they don a costume they become that thing. Their hit dice and power level do not change. A one dice cartoon donning a dragon costume will become a wyrmling. Their behavior changes, but always chaotic.

33: Robo gorilla man
It looks like a gorilla wearing a diving helmet with two antenna. If you get close enough to see in it you will see what looks like a head wearing a shroud. It's actually a gorilla costume packed with robotic parts attached to a human head covered with sensor fabric in an old space helmet. This scout has 6D1+6 or 36 hits. It's right hand projects a black beam of necromantic energy that does 1D10 if it hits. It is otherwise a construct.

Role. They are weapons of war that turned on their makers and exist just to kill. Their communication equipment will be on their scout ship nearby, possibly parked in a shuttle bay or in a cave.

28: Loop hole.
Example 1: Deeper darkness may block glitterdust, in most cases, however, it does not make a character invisible. Invisible characters are still visibly outlined if the cartoon is present.

Time stop affects the whole planet, but not the comet or meteor headed for the planet. Thus it can turn a strike into a clean miss.

GMs can now say, "Your character is not a cartoon!"

That search bait is more appropriate for Halloween, but if you want to search Spooky Scary Skeletons, go ahead.

40: Arrow of miss direction(Uncommon)
When thrown down, or balanced, and something is named it will point in the opposite direction. If fired it whips around the firer and instead goes after anyone standing behind them. Standard -4 for invisibility applies.

26, expanded. They can use a yield sign to subdue a creature that can see the sign, effectively charming them. A dire wolf that fails the save would act like a puppy dog toward the cartoon.

If they make the come here gesture with their index finger, it can have the effect of a cavaliere challenge. The subject will come out from cover and confront the cartoon.

30: Shell
A false computer program with garbage data or a fake entry pad that you have to pry off to reveal the real keypad. In virtual space it may be represented by a locked chest or safe.

91: Cracked circuitry cube. Looks to be clear quartz with gold circuitry running through it. 12 places you can plug in the wires. 3 inch diameter. If repaired, gives +4 to fix most devices and systems.

92: Broken in half circuitry sphere. 6 plug ins including a place for a ribbon cable.

93: Damaged circuitry pyramid. All the contacts are on the square base and melted. Stripped wires can be soldered to it.

94: Tangle of wires, a ball about 2 feet wide, many colors, and all the ends are stripped. No contacts.

Change it to 5 feet a minute, or hour. GM choice.

190: Fly speed 5 feet a round.

Wizard appearance: It gives you the long white beard, the pointy hat, what looks like a magic cloak, and an impressive looking wand.

Rumors that an evil druid has cured it's eyesight and is killing anyone who enters the forest with a saw cannot be confirmed because no remains have been found.

The perfect Strom(The life and times of Strom Thurmond)

Goose Busters: Animal Control struggles for funding till a super flock of Canada Geese descends on Washington DC.

101: Cubic Gate. This small metal cube will expand into a large metal gate if touched to the side of any doorway. Even one of a pair of trees. The gate is made of thick metal bars and has a hidden button on your side that if you push it turns it back into a cube. The DC is 19 to pick the lock.

Fnord is what you get when Contact Other Plane fails.

What fighters need is gateway feats free to them as class features. Power attack and point blank shot for instance.

Phasers are too overpowered for this game.

Every class has dedicated feats, and they can alternate between general and class feats. It should be up to the GM.

25: Personal Gravity
Anything solid under their feet is down. They can walk up the wall and across the ceiling. If they don't look down, they can walk across a deep crevasse as if there was an invisible bridge.

Tech Trolls: Like cyberpunk but more realistic.

89: Air Reprocessing
Air ducts lead into 4 of the reprocesers, then out through other ducts. The 5th one sucks up air from this room and then vents cleaned air.

Reprocesers: There is a grill that disintegrates small particles just in front of a fan that sucks the air. Large objects such as humans are ejected out the side of the intake duct. (It would damage the mechanism.) The air is bubbled through the tank filled with water, baking soda, and charcoal. A strange ray beam breaks Co2 into separate carbon and oxygen atoms. There are pipes that regularly flush the tank when it gets cloudy. The air then blows out another fan with a grill and goes on it's way.

The water goes in from a mixing vat where baking soda and charcoal is added to water. 50% chance there is a robo-cart adding the baking soda and charcoal from the crates it brought to the 2 hoppers. If the hoppers are nearly empty, an alarm and red lights activate. This attracts more wandering monsters. This also happens if anyone tampers with or damages the equipment.

44)"You keep coming back for more don't you."
Whenever they die they reincarnate. I have a larger table with all the monsters on it around here somewhere. This curse is often put on an idiot who forces a monster to make them younger. Only a wish or greater remove curse will remove this.

98: It's not supposed to be there? Must be a cartoon character. Now to roll some random cartoon powers.

90: Dead goblin. Has junk laser only fired once. Cause of death, DC16, multiple laser wounds, 2 of them critical. Has a data pad with hiring contract signed with an X(not his real name). Used a chicken bone as a stylus.

Fnord is a pony who for some reason never appeared onscreen on the show. Check for yourself. No ponies with the word Fnord as a cutey mark.

Beeatlejoose

Goth Guru wrote:

For example, everything a goblin cobbles together eventually explodes. never just catches fire or emits an ear-splitting shriek.

Why not all three?

That's an exemplar Goblin.

For example, everything a goblin cobbles together eventually explodes. never just catches fire or emits an ear-splitting shriek.

23. Ability montage

Once per session, the character may explicitly declare to those around that they are using a power as a one round action (typically by calling out the name of the ability or what it does). All creatures within 60 feet that can see them can do nothing but watch as they slowly go through motions, stances, or generate visual effects (depending on the ability), which are then completed at the end of the round. The ability must be one that requires one round or less to perform.

Suitable powers include attacks, magical attacks, buffs, summons, or disguises or transformations. This only stops creatures from reacting, it won't stop falling, the planet from crashing, environmental damage such as standing in a fire, spell durations expiring, or an oncoming train, traffic, or comet. If the ability can be interrupted, it can be disrupted as normal (by environmental, incidental, or ongoing damage, or possibly a blind character that doesn't know they're supposed to be unable to act during the montage).

snip

At 7th level or dice they can create a time loop montage. They can attempt and reattempt a ritual, crafting, or other action till they get the desired result. The cartoon can change their actions on each attempt. Anyone who tries to disrupt the loop, and fails, becomes caught up in it. They can alter their actions to disrupt or complete it each time as well. Other creatures involved in the loop can Will save vs 18 to realize they are in a loop. At 7th level it's up to a day long. At 9th level it's up to a week long. At 13th level it's up to a month long. At 19th level it's up to a year long.

Standard: Even without a cartoon bag, a cartoon can store one item per level in all their hidden pockets. Thus they can stow a maul of the titans in the pocket along their spine. All "normal" pockets are portals to hammerspace, and size doesn't matter. Extra items beyond their maximum are not only lost, but someone else can draw them from their magic bag.

Someone pregnant with a toon or half toon will find furniture appears in front of them, at least tall enough to hide their baby bump.

245: Roll on the random curse table. Curse persists till removed.

246: Drinker thinks they are cursed. Everything that goes wrong they blame on the curse.

[b]89: A roll of Arodens. It like Benjamins but with the deity's picture on it. They are of value only to historians, certain clerics, and other collectors. In an online auction, you may get more than the face value.

29: Toilet trap.
A toilet connected to the room by a door. On the wall is a sign in the common language "Flush only excrement and toilet paper." If someone tries to flush anything else the floor swings away on a hinge dumping them into the sewer along with the contents of the toilet.

155: On the underside of the stone is a bass relief, permanently painted, image of Marty Mutant. This is a summoning stone. When someone says the command phrase, "It's the Marty Mutant show!" this cartoon is summoned. He will have the same level as his summoner. He will have random mutations and cartoon powers, redetermined daily, upon waking. He will persist till the summoner says, "That's all folks!", he is destroyed, or banished. If destroyed, he can be resummoned after 24 hours. He's usually green. He's, chaotic neutral.

107:"If you do not read and heed the signs, floggings will resume!"

8:Shared elixir.

This grand discovery allows the alchemist to bottle a mutagen or even discovery to be useable by others. Note that till used it occupies the slot, so unless permanent, such as the elixir of eternal life, two people cannot use it at the same time. Also, the rare ingredients cost 1000 per effective level. When you look at the level a grand discovery is available, you realize just how pricey this is.