I write music that never resolves to the tonic.
The next poster invented a new musical instrument.
It is called the Belphephone. Only playable by ethereal beings.
The next poster lost something.
Now, where did I put it?
The next poster knows where...
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...Where the hell do you THINK?
The next poster will come In here to look for it!
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*Goes into KahnyaGnorc's closet, torch in hand.*
Let's see, there's several artifacts from ancient civilisations that were thought to be lost to history, cave paintings drawn by KahnyaGnorc when they were young, a secret supply of food, some prisoners that are to be shipped to Goattoucher's workroom, my aunt Matilda (I wondered where I left her) and a bag of fifty year old Christmas presents. Nope can't seem to find what was lost.
The next poster DOES know and will help me find it.
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It's a voodoo doll of GoatToucher. Sticking pins in this doll often elicits squeals of delight just outside of your darkened window. I ain't helping you find that doll!
The next poster also senses something outside of their darkened window.
I've darkened that window for just those occasions.
At least I'm not the next poster, who is outside that very darkened window with the something...
You forgot your teddy bear, open the door so I can give it to you!
Next poster, please open the door so I can return KahnyaGnorc's teddy bear.
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In order to do so, I shall have to get on the floor.
*Gets on the floor*
However, it is GoatToucher who will do the dinosaur.
The next poster has found fossil evidence of this atrocity.
Where the hell else do you think THIS came from?!?
The next poster likes to singa about the moona and the Juna and the Springa...and will also be so kind as to tell us what that even means.
*Is brutally murdered before being able to explain.*
*The next poster is either the murderer or the detective hired to catch the murderer.*
Embrace the healing power of "and." *arrests self*
The next poster is both my defense attorney AND prosecutor.
It was a great way to receive twice the amount of money!
The next poster will explain the whole court proceedings.
The defendant was wealthy and influential, so they got away with it.
The next poster will report a most grievous crime.
18 months down the line, all our Accordions remain missing, presumed stolen. The guinea pigs we were using instead have escaped, but these Specially Adapted Puffins make an acceptable substitute.
The next poster has something else that means Daddy doesn't sleep at night.
Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more.
The next poster doesn't get it.
Get what?
The next poster will provide me with a fresh fish every day for the next year.
Sure thing, no problem, will do.
The next poster will answer my ad for an assassin to perform a 'job', uh, before my next visit to the fish market.
You need somebody killed? I'm the guy who will make sure it is so. Just remember, I charge double the usual rate and I'm not subtle in my work.
The next poster hired me and can confirm that I charge double and I'm not subtle when I perform an assassination.
Takes forever, too! It's been MONTHS!
The next poster has a brilliantly wicked idea for the next global pandemic!
All I need is a day-old fish, some dental floss, and an unusually-shaped pigeon named Steve.
The next poster will take it from here...
... And straight into Goattoucher's workroom with all of it! For safety of the entire universe, this particular global pandemic CANNOT be unleashed!
The next poster once joined me in taking over the universe with the help of every villain from the Power Rangers dimension. But, something went wrong...
It resulted in the power rangers movie. Turns out they are all just actors.
The next poster will please help me find the evil overlord topic with much needed advice.
The Wormlord, here is my advice: look for post titles that start with "The" or have "the" somewhere in the middle. However, if you find a post title that ends in "The" you've stumbled on an uncouth Paladin whom has managed to butcher their own vernacular while trying to say "Thee". That is a thread that explains how the color of draperies can influence the mood of the castle. Stay away from that thread.
The next poster will also recommend a post here.
I highly recommend this one and next the few after it!
The next poster, also a miracle-worker, has devised a desperately-needed cure for the Human Condition!
We call it, Mass Genocide!
The next poster thinks that our plan is good, but has at least one major drawback.
A political figure is using this plan and politics is not allowed here.
The next poster will change the subject to something "safe".
The other offences GoatToucher wishes to have taken into consideration.
The next poster is the Judge, and here they come.
Indeed I am and here I come!
*Stands before everyone, an aura of menace emanating from him, and looking accusatory.*
By the power invested in me, by me, I find everyone here except myself and the next poster guilty of writing ridiculous statements!
The next poster will now issue out your punishment, regardless of whether you deserve it or not!
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*ahem*
GRAAOOOOAARRRR!!!!
*starts stomping on and eating people as their punishment*
ROAAARRRRR!!
*translation; the next poster knows which country being eaten by a tyrannosaur is a legal punishment in.
I do, but I don't go there for obvious reasons.
The next poster is an escaped prisoner.
I devised an escape plan involving the laundry, some canned processed cheese product, and Rogaine.
The next poster was a co-conspirator of mine, in both the original crime and the subsequent escape...
Power rangers got us into trouble, and power rangers got us out of it.
The next poster will explain the details of mine and KahnyaGnorc's capture as well as our successful escape.
You tried to rob the cheese shop, but it had no cheese because it was a front for domestic terrorists. When you escaped from prison, they did not come after you because all the records of your arrest were redacted because of the political nature of the crime.
The next poster will change the topic to something devoid of real world politics and religion.
*stares into a mysterious hole in the ground*
Next Poster, tell me: What is 27th-best in life?
To pat down your enemies, see them herded in your general proximity, and hear the slightly perturbed utterances of their "We're just good friends."
The next poster is IN the aforementioned mysterious hole in the ground...
INdiana is the perfect place to be. Several natural caves to explore.
The next poster is about to get a lot of snow.
Yes, but only because I am Greatest Canadian 90s Hits Radio.
The next poster will draw, in crayon, a picture of Prime Minister Trudeau doing the licki boom boom dance.
*teehee* I'm drawing his face with a darker shade of crayon than the rest of him!
The next poster will envision what the afterlife holds for John McAfee.
Virus detected... deleting.
The next poster studied post graduate nerdism.
Pathfinder Rulebook, Starfinder Society Subscriber
I bet you thought I couldn't get a degree in that - WRONG! Nerdism is all the rage these days. You can download my thesis, 101 Solitaire Games With Only a 12-sided Die and Silly Putty, at drivethrucards.com.
The next poster covers a hole in the wall I made after that one drunken night.
It is boring work, but pays surprisingly well.
The next poster is paying me, for reasons I do not know....
*slips "The Blind Laundress" another 10 gp for her role in...The Scheme*
The next poster is planning a SPECTACULAR heist, and tell us what the loot is, who the 4 other members of the heist-team are, and what each of them (next poster included) will be doing to pull the job!
While Aroden was impaling Rovagug, he ran him through with his god killing sword. Aroden's original body was placed beneath the Terask(now a city). I can diplomacy the team past the official people in the city, but it will take a max damage dealing fighter type, spellcaster, ninja if possible, and some kind of healer to fight past the horrific scavengers at the bottom of the city and in the ground around it.
The next poster is the first volunteer.
KahnyaGnorc SMASH!
Next poster could help Goth Guru, but in an unconventional way...
I'll beam in some hulking space people from another franchise to sweep the opposition, and beam them away afterwards.
The next poster has devised a scheme to overthrow communist governments around the world.
Is simple: Raise vodka prices, everything else go kablooey afterward, no stopping. *2d5 ⇒ (4, 1) = 5 Gremlins shake their heads sadly*
Comrade Next Posterovich! You will tell us what is these "Troika Games", and why they make steam-that-works-magic-spelled-with-'k' in such obscura-ty, else we slam your fingers between door-crack and coat your domicile with marshmallow-fluff, da???
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Onwards, Monkeymongers,
Onwards, Zoanthropes,
Onwards, Parchment Witches,
Onwards, Chaos Popes!
Launch the golden barges,
Leap into the fray,
For the greater glory,
Of Mel-so-ni-a!
The next poster has recently left their job as a Herald of the Slug Monarch, and will tell us why.
Can't eat my food without some salt.
The next poster has been hired as a herald, and will tell us to whom/what.
'Tis mein sacred and eternal duty to herald der High Holy Day of MITTWOCH!!!
'Tis nigh-on 22 bells, and all art meet.
HARK, next poster! Wherefore dost thou present thyself before us dressed as ein giant Banana?!?
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