Sandpoint Devil

JTDIII's page

76 posts. Alias of JTDV.


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One time I'm Hiding In Your Closet didn't. He was just casually sitting in the living room flipping through some coffee table magazine right in plain sight. I actually checked the closets anyway. It was weird.


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I hear you have an overpopulation of virgins. I can help with that, thus increasing your tactical forces.

*tactical smile*

The next poster will distract the mods so that this questionable post will go unnoticed.


I hand I'm Hiding In Your Closet a ticket to Willie Wonka's Bull-Milking Factory. He accepts, arrives, and is summarily put to work. Four weeks later he is found dead: gored to death and stuck to the ceiling.


Xcellent Dude! Bill and Ted's Last Road Trip.


Still trying. Basically Paizo said, "Get off my lawn."

The next poster drives a Gran Torino.


KahnyaGnorc was once so sarcastic that an entire army surrendered.


What kind of quandary do you worry about?


I collect mental scars like trophies so it's all good.

The next poster goes uphill where ever they go.


The Landshark is a bit played by an actor. They'll most likely see his legs and put an arrow in the cosplay equivalent of his knee (pelvic fin). That won't work.

Methinks we should have a tailgate party outside the drawbridge. The wafting smell of the bbq, corn on the cobb, and cold brews should draw them out to their doom!


I was once horsewhipped by Leanansidhe.

*stands up taller*

It was nice! :D

The next poster can fly, but not in the conventional way.


I travel back in time and rescue Sissyl from the Titanic...by throwing her an inflatable life raft! ;)

Spielberg's probably already filmed her remains.


Yes. Under one banner. Now all the cutlery bows to me!

The next poster can lick their own elbows.


We calculate my value as V = I x R, whereas V is my anger, I represents the fairies, and R represents my unexcitement. Thus, if 12 fairies do very boring things (such as play in a trombone orchestra) then I get very angry.

Then next poster smashes every dinner plate and cup they come across.


That's because he's not a guy in a costume singing songs. Oh no, he's a real purple dinosaur and he 1) ate a guy 2) is slowly digesting him (like the Sarlacc) 3) is forcing that guy to dance and sing songs while being digested!

And your post about Barney was 6066. illuminati confirmed.

The next poster has an interesting conspiracy theory. queue the X-Files theme


GoatToucher is banned for thinking a few rubber bands are appropriate evening wear.


Asphyxiator


Granted! I think this will work for you whether it's grocery shopping, yoga class, family bbq, or any other just around-town type of excursion.

I wish dogs really did play poker so I could cheat them out of their hard-earned money.


Dirigible Wars!


True story: Pulg owns a hairless cat!


You sound like an old car, just pull over and park it.

I'm tripping on tryptophan and rapping while I sleep.


I start a stampede killing both you, Count Reiner Heydrich, and Simba's Dad. Not only do you die, but I got you in the feels as you remember that scene. <insert evil laugh here>


Come along my friends! *Leads them straight to Hell*

The next poster was thoughtful enough to bring copious amounts of Sunblock SPF-350.


Horses can't twist that way, jerk!

The next poster is the ring announcer in the boxing match between me and GoatToucher and will introduce us by our Ringside nicknames.


Tome of Internet Comments: This book is automatically cursed, the curse being that the reader will be compelled to read it daily. Upon reading even only one page, the reader will burst into tears for 1d4 hours.


But your static drying tips don't include a whirlpool!

I'm built like a fireman the chiseled-est of the bunch!


The Bubonic Plague
I remember it quite well
HA! I started it


I remember the first time Goblinbane was ordered to my cell. After the guard shoved him in I looked at Goblinbane and I was like "No roommate, fool!" It was rough at first, but eventually we became good friends and I even had his back in general population. That is, until he shanked me one day. But then he is a Goblin so I can't say I didn't see that coming.


Like most things in life
Cheese is always the answer
Now just fancy that


You're a girl. Girls like horses! You know, wind in your hair and all that; or as we say in Sandpoint, "Tay in the wind!". Mayhaps you can ride me. If interested, respond to McDreamy.


Inside looking outside
Through a goldfish bowl
And it's hand-over-mouth stares
That make me lose control

If I'm an outcast I'm not the last
I'm gonna have my say
They'll never take me in alive
I'm gonna make em all pay

*excerpt from Me Against the World by Lizzy Borden


Pulg has a natural resistance to clothing.


I understand EVERYTHING, but I suffer from not caring (G0F).

The next poster has too much of the feels!


1 person marked this as a favorite.

The Erty Pub, or as it's known in parts of Golarion, Pub Erty, is a fine establishment stocked with the most avant-garde libations. I hit it just before dawn, working with a necromancer, her minions, and an ex-Druid, robbing the Erty Pub of both drink and coin.

The next poster is hunting us down.


Good morning, Boss. While you were sleeping we went ahead and attached the occipital weapon platform as you've requested. You can't see anything because we've removed your pupils. But you get ultimate destruction at whomever and whatever you choose to look at with those neat little muzzles sticking out of your eye sockets!

Oh, and your spouse requested that you never look in their direction ever again. You know, to keep them alive.

Minions! board the cruise ship. It's time for a vacation!


I'm like a Great White. Mmmmmmmm. Chewy.

The next poster purports to have had an encounter with Sasquatch.


Kobold Cleaver wrote:
Once per page (fifty posts), a creature other than an elemental, golem, dragon or ooze (like a special type of cow or goblin) can be introduced.

The new creature is: Grig

The Synchronized Swimming Grig is known as such because of the exact, matching movements of this tiny Fey when dancing in gangs or bands. The Synchronized Swimming Grig often mesmerizes folks by performing the same dance, but with each Grig using its invisibility to flicker in and out of the performance - sometimes creating a domino effect that the observer will naturally follow to the last Grig (usually in the opposite direction, as the Grigs are trying to distract the observer). Like all Grigs, Synchronized Swimming Grigs excel at music. But unlike their basic forest cousins, the Synchronized Swimming Grig do not have use of Pyrotechnics. In its place they use Water Walk to enhance the unique flavor of their dancing.

New Substance Coffee


Yep. And a terrifying sight it is!

The next poster breaks the sound barrier when they talk.


KahnyaGnorc only shaves one head. The other heads have very long hair.


I tried to join an Orca pod. Things got tense. Thanks to Kali Altzairu for scaring them away with that hairdoo. It gave me time to get back on the boat.

The next poster cannot sleep.


Yeah, I dyed my mane platinum. It wasn't a good look for me. Plus, that was back when I sported a perm. The whole thing kept me from being allowed in the clubs...or restaurants...retail stores...bus stops...hell, even my own home.

The next poster is not allow to leave the planet.


Re'NAULT' or Re'NO'? Americans want to know the correct pronunciation. (so that we can screw it up on purpose!)


I call it the love-gun! wink wink

The next poster will stop throwing things at my eyeballs.


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I take I'm Hiding In Your Closet for a fast ride in a low tunnel, thus decapitating him. Ug, his corpse still clings to me and and is starting to stink. But the worst part is every now and then his corpse starts juggling.


Granted [by Genies who G0F! :D] A team of lawyers descend upon you to capture every word and every intent with "The party of the first part" and "hence" this and "hence" that. Nevermore will you be misunderstood*.

I wish we got paid to answer wishes!

*Does not apply to arguments with the spouse, herein referred to as the party of the second part.

Only the moderators get offended around here. We don't. But wishes get corrupted in unexpected ways. Anything you say, can and will be used to corrupt the wish. Hence, this post.


Echoes in tape hiss
In which you hear the voices
Of ghosts far away


We played two-person Baldurdash - a combination of (pay attention to the spellings) Baldur's Gate and the Balderdash board game. I kept guess the wrong definition which caused me to get waylaid.

The next poster, fortunately, has a clean mind and won't misinterpret that.


Chews bubblegum. Tries to blow a bubble but it can't get past all those teeth.

The next poster is in love with the next poster after them.


Uncle Teddy? Um, I wasn't there, you didn't see it, you can't prove anything!

The next poster will also obfuscate the truth.


Oh Yes! Tomorrow is Mt. Vesuvius Day. What can I say? I like to watch the world burn. *Evil grin...wait, that's just my normal grin...actually, I'm not even smiling...I'm just standing here waiting for Mt. Vesuvius Day...evil grin!*

The next poster can put the biggest smiles on everybody they meet!


Granted! You can predict the future 1 second ahead of time.

Example:

"I think I'm going to click the Submit Post button."

<one second later>

You click the Submit Post button.

I wish that I could hover instead of walking.

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