The Next Poster...


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It involves the Ayatollah, a Zamboni, three squirrels of differing shades, and a exhibitionist kumquat.

The next poster knows that kumquat well...


We have breakfast every Saturday morning: He tells me funny stories, and I take another bite of him.

The next poster's fear of industrial laundry machines is justified.


Because I am hand wash only.

The next poster runs a Pontius Pilates class.

Grand Lodge

Not to worry, it only feels like a death sentence (and if it doesn't, you are not suffering enough!).

The next acolyte knows the secret to defending oneself from vicious gangs of 'Keep Left' signs.


The secret is this: Turn left at Albuquerque!

The next poster has no idea what they look like.


AM TARDIGRADE! AM STRONG! AM POWERFUL! AM NIGH-INVULNERABLE! AM...NOT HAVE GREAT EYESIGHT.

AM TARDIGRADE! NEXT POSTER ISN'T! NEXT POSTER FOUND VERY WEIRD PIRATE TREASURE!


Arrh, 'tis the Lost Golden Colostomy Bag o'Henry Avery!

The next poster ravages the seven seas as Pinkbeard.


Indeed. Would you like to see it?

:shows you:

The next poster has been inspired to sing a sea-shanty.


As I was a-sailin' down near Magnimar,
Yo ho, blow the man down.
A pretty young Selkie, she waved from a-far.
Yo ho, blow the man down!

The next poster opened a restaurant with an unusual theme.

Scarab Sages

Closetese cuisine - walk-ins welcome, but standing room only, you may check your hats and coats just inside the door!

Gentlemen, turn out your pockets! Ladies, empty your purses! The next poster...is the murderer!


And I did it with a big eyed bean from Venus.

The next poster was in Reverend Green with the study and the candlestick


Every Thursday afternoon.

The next poster keeps us well oiled.

The Exchange

It makes you more flammable, after all. *Fwwooooooooosssshhhhh!!!*

The next poster must face a random encounter with...a GELATINOUS CUBAN!


I met him. Randomly. Ate him.

The next poster paints portraits of pigs.


I am also willing to do group pictures of Generals in their masses.

The next poster introduced me to my mind.

Sovereign Court

It was merely the hospitable thing to do, given that I've had the run of the place.

Next poster? Perhaps it is YOU who are the toad...!


Nah, I typically play Bowser, not Toad.

The next poster lives in the MarioKart universe.

Sovereign Court

Yes it's really quite nice, the noise level isn't too much and...

*Almost gets run over by Mario.*

Watch where you're going, you overweight, moustached goomba!

The next poster will explain the whole situation about my near accident.


That wasn't Mario - it was Stalin in a steamroller.

The next poster has been called in to deal with an infestation on teeny Mussolinis.

The Concordance

DA! We sort them out, with lots of funny funny death-prank and rhapsodic muzik! Tro-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo...!

Comrade Next Posterovich, your refrigerator, is running?


Yes, but we are not allowed to discuss politics here.

The next poster will tell Mike there's a phone call for him. Last name Krotch. :)


My Crotch! Can anybody see My Crotch? Someone is looking for My Crotch!

:aside: Oh, Jambi: Tell Michael Krotch he has a phone call.

The next poster will solve the mystery of Hugh Jazz.


Too many donuts.

The next poster works for a Donut Rights organization.


That's correct. And there are no doughnuts...left. Nyuk nyuk nyuk.

The next poster will explain natural air conditioning.

The Concordance

DA! We take big stix, beat wind spirits with them every time they do something undesired, give flowers or something every time they do something desired, eventually air is conditioned to do what we wish it to do - and is all natural! Comrade Pavlov-Approved! Is very good help on Japanese front!

Comrade Next Posterovich, why you have big banana in ear???

Sovereign Court

I needed to scratch an inch, and that was all I had at the time.

Next poster, the banana is now stuck, please help me to get rid of it.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

We will stick a kumquat, the natural predator of the banana, in the other ear, and watch it flee in terror.

The next poster has a cure for an itchy brain.

Dark Archive

Indeed I do! *conjures a neh-thalggu*

The next poster, years ago now, sold its soul for a bowl of good clam chowder.


Worth it!

The next poster bought my soul, and you'll not believe what [INSERT PERSONAL PRONOUN HERE] did with it!

Sovereign Court

The procurement of KahnyaGnorc's soul was most vital for a trade agreement with the forces of Abboden in order to gain their assistance with setting up a mining industry in Nirvana.

The next poster has been hired to find either an outer plane or an inner plane for us to set up another mining industry.

Dark Archive

I've found you a lovely little place...!

The next poster accepted a cosmic chariot-ride from great hoary Nodens - that meddlesome fool!


*sings badly* A whole new world!

The next poster read "great hoary Nodens" so very wrong, but so very awesome...


Goat Whore-y Noses? I'll try anything once.

The next poster's nostrils hurt, but they have advice for the next person.


Try not to eat goats through your nose.

The next poster doesn't care.


Nor do I bear, nor do I stare.

The next poster's lair has a tear, and it's just not fair.


And a Care Bear in my underwear.

The next poster hops to the hip.

Dark Archive

*leaps upon Pulg in a strangely horrific hopping motion, cleaves him asunder from hip to hip*

The next poster has discovered a most interesting and bizarre magic sword.


It is a singing sword that only sings Slipknot songs in Pig Latin.

The next poster will heal Pulg up in an unconventional method...


Pulg is good as new! All thanks to my highly refined skills in the use of duct tape.

The next poster will avenge Pulg's semi-death using semi-____________ (fill in the blank).

Sovereign Court

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Nothing a little bit of rum and gun powder can't fix!

*Pours six barrels of the finest grade rum and a mountain of gun powder onto Pulg and sets it alight.*

Luckily for him, he's part phoenix wing fluff!

The next poster's riding shotgun, underneath the hot sun, feeling like a someone!


This shotgun is very uncomfortable to sit upon.

The next poster's riding someone, underneath the hot shotgun, feeling like a sun.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Poog be riding Jurassic Bard, carrying cannon to shoot at gorillas, rats and pirates.

Next poster has been cleaning up corpses of things Poog blew up with cannon.

Sovereign Court

Yet another fine use for my extraordinary robobeasts! The possibilities are endless!

*Maniacal laughter.*

Next poster, I have joined forces with Malvel the Dark Wizard and we've have gained total domination over your planetary kingdom (and if you were unaware you had one, that's your problem not ours). With your forces completely obliterated, tell us how you can best serve in order for us to spare your pathetic life!


1 person marked this as a favorite.

I hear you have an overpopulation of virgins. I can help with that, thus increasing your tactical forces.

*tactical smile*

The next poster will distract the mods so that this questionable post will go unnoticed.


Casts spell Owha tagoo siam on mods.

The next poster wants to come clean about their most hidden secret.


Well, if you insist: You see... [YOU ARE DRIVEN IRREVOCABLY MAD]

As you can imagine, the clean up took some time, but it was a growth experience, to be sure.

The next poster will tell us their favorite Mother's Day memory.


As a Gnorc, it was my first raid with my gnomish illusionist father (it was a long time ago, in an Edition far, far away) and my orcish barbarian mother. We killed many a grue (the ability to see in the dark helps in hunting grues)

The next poster is still living in a very old Edition...


LET POOG OUT!!!!

Poog tricked into time travel! :'(

Next pozter haz great new idea for large ckorporate buzinez.

Sovereign Court

Yes I do have a great new idea for a large corporate business (actually it's one you guys have already heard of, but it's still a great idea). I create Robobeasts for a living and it is never too hard to find a buyer willing to part with a substantial amount of money to have one. Since joining forces with Malvel, business has been even more successful, as his magic (fused with my robotics) has resulted in the two of us creating a planetary conglomerate empire with our clients paying with the deeds to their planets in order to fight one another! How deliciously ironic and satisfying!

The next poster, in addition to being one of my best clients, has just started a business venture of their own.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

I have built a Lion Mech factory on Aballon. Not only do 6 of them form Voltron, 6 voltrons can now form Mega Voltron. The Robeast vs Voltron economy will support the Starfinder economy.

The next poster will please stat Robeasts, Lion Mechs, and Voltrons.

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