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Finally got to play my Grippli Strangler/Constable to full effect today.
Fighting some Skeleton Champions in a door way, Bloodrager steps back to allow access for other players to attack. My turn? Charge + Grapple. One critical punch to the head takes it out; got to wait til next turn to grapple other one.
Carven Carytids in another room- At top of some stairs- "Im going to wait to grapple one that gets close enough to grapple." (after Arcanist tells us about it's nasty defensive abilities)
Moves, I grapple; next turn, maintain and ... toss off stairs. :) That's one way to overcome their DR.

Lucy_Valentine |
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We met a dangerous wild animal and asked the Druid to "Druid it", meaning use Wild Empathy so we wouldn't have to fight.
The druid had an archetype that traded Wild Empathy for more combat feats.
"Druid it" now means "kill it with weapons".
Relatedly, the bloodrager rap duo are now convinced they are good druids.

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GM (looking around table as she asks, but finishing by looking at her good friend sitting next to her playing the barbarian): So what do you want to do next?
Barbarian player: You're asking the idiot barbarian to make a decision?
GM: I was asking the whole table. I wouldn't ask you no matter what character you were playing.
We all just about fell out of our chairs laughing for the next minute or two. One player who missed it came back from the bathroom and asked what he missed.
Me: You missed a bigger burn than even the alchemist could deliver.

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We met a dangerous wild animal and asked the Druid to "Druid it", meaning use Wild Empathy so we wouldn't have to fight.
The druid had an archetype that traded Wild Empathy for more combat feats.
"Druid it" now means "kill it with weapons".Relatedly, the bloodrager rap duo are now convinced they are good druids.
*facepalm* we have got to train the new guys better

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We're on an investigative mission and we're deciding on a cover story. Most of us aren't thinking too clearly and we're in a weird mood. Someone comes up with an NPC named "Harry the Halfling." One of us takes it from there and says we're on a scavenger hunt for Harry's bachelor party. At the docks, we tell the dockworkers Harry was supposed to arrive yesterday, as he's getting married tomorrow, but the boat has disappeared, and if they'd like to help us find the dock's logbook. In a bar, we're looking for clues who can help us next, and we say we're on a scavenger hunt for his bachelor party, and this person is supposed to give us our next clue, but we don't know where he is.
By this point, most of us are so invested in Harry the Halfling that we don't care about the mission anymore, we just want to come up with dumb jokes about Harry. There's now a group of four people, two of them yelling drunkenly about how Harry's supposed to get married, but he's been kidnapped and we have to solve this scavenger hunt to find him before tomorrow. About half the town's starting to question who the hell this Harry guy is, and we start coming up with stories about how awesome he is and how he throws the best parties. Eventually, we sneak into a prison and rescue the NPCs were were supposed to find, and among them is a Halfling named Harry. We couldn't be happier.
TL;DR: We were supposed to go on an infiltration mission and be as subtle as possible. Instead, we got so enamored with our cover story that we went through town like a bunch of drunk idiots.
You had to be there, I guess.
I also reserved "Harry the Halfling" for my next PFS character. Now to come up with a build for him.

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Playing We Be Goblins for a Halloween special. They get to the end and through goblin-judgement they end up pulling three encounters at once. They put up a good fight but they are losing. The boss is glued to the wall due to a lucky tanglefoot bag hit.
Chuffy is the last one standing, he reaches down to pick up the skyrocket Poog dropped, provokes 2 AoOs, one hits, he is now staggered, with his dying action... he lights the skyrocket in an enclosed space!! The boss has no where to run! It instantly kills the goblin heros that were still bleeding out and most the enemies but the boss lives! There were the other fireworks the goblins were carrying, and the alchemist fires, they set of a chain reaction, the stash of more fireworks gets ruptured! they all go off! The boss dies! The boss layer goes up in flames! the Licktoad village can see the horizon glow as this becomes the night of two sunsets, a goblin legend that will be passed down by the oral tradition for a generation or two.

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Ran My Enemy's Enemy over the weekend, the party [a Kineticist who argued he couldn't take Precise Shot, a Paladin, and two tag-teaming grippli's] proceeded through the encounter, until they go to the end fight, which went like this-
Lal fails his Reflex save, with a nat 1. Take enough damage, even with his Fire Resist to go unconscious...
Rest of the fight isn't worth mentioning.

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It's one of those "do a few favors for a new ally to get the help the Society needs" missions. This time, one of the favors is to ruin a big fancy party that is being thrown by one of the requester's rivals. We'll attend as her guests, and she gives us a fat purse to buy supplies for whatever plan we concoct.
After some brainstorming, we keep our plan devastatingly simple:
* One PC who has experience with poisons buys a laxative to spike the drinks.
* My rogue buys salve of slipperiness. I sneak into the bathrooms, and smear salve over the floor just inside the entrance.
We both easily make the skill checks needed to pull off our parts, and before long some of the other guests start to have, ah...accidents. The ensuing uproar covers the party's unhurried exit, and when we meet up with our employer the next day, she's ecstatic at the debacle.

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Last night at the weekly PFS game down at the local game shop, our characters had to climb into a contraption resembling the evil god Rovagug as part of a sort of mystery play at a religious festival. Once we were inside, the GM asked, "What do you do now?"
I said, "We sing the Rovagug song."
Did I then extemporize a fantasy role-playing version of the hit 1964 country song "Chug-a-Lug" by the great Roger Miller?
Friends, I did.

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The Golarion Origin of the (Chocolate?) Easter Bunny:
-Nigel (the ill-fortuned curator) makes an offhand comment about killing evil bunnies while addressing the latest spate of chaotic doings.
-Petulant teenage PC dressed in a pink bunny-patterned cloak:
"Excuse ME !?! No bunny is EVER evil!" Proceeds with pro-bunny tirade.
-(soon after) The perturbed pink PC summons an Earth Elemental, and rather than the usual puppy form, it's shaped like a bunny.
-Fighting ensues. Grappled bunny EE gets eggs inserted.
And there you have it. :)
Cheers.

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So... Rise of the Runelords.
"It fails it's save."
"He is now in Elisium..."
He has since sent a stone giant friend to the same plane. We snicker whenever we talk about the cleric taking away a kill from the Gunslinger.

GM MacShack |

I can't remember the exact adventure, but we had all picked out pregens. On a friend's advice, I took Crowe, and I was in the front of the marching order into the Spooky Old Mansion (tm), so another player (I think they were Meligaster? Spellcasters of some sort.) said "I cast Guidance on you!" Wanting to play up the below-average INT score, I made a joke about how I didn't need guidance, it was pretty clear which way the hallway went. So he took back the spell. The GM said it was the first time he had seen a player take back a buff on another player.

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Last night at the weekly PFS game down at the local game shop, our characters had to climb into a contraption resembling the evil god Rovagug as part of a sort of mystery play at a religious festival. Once we were inside, the GM asked, "What do you do now?"
I said, "We sing the Rovagug song."
Did I then extemporize a fantasy role-playing version of the hit 1964 country song "Chug-a-Lug" by the great Roger Miller?
Friends, I did.
You are now my favorite person.

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Upon finding the corpse of a sylph dangling from a chain, my devout Pharasmin spiritualist uses his Kn: Religion to determine an appropriate "burial" for the creature, to which the GM says that they prefer to be thrown out into a storm. I note a large windshaft blocked by a portcullis, so I break the bars and drop the corpse down it. Seemed like the right thing to do...
...until the elevator platform came up with the corpse a few minutes later. Poor guy.

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Party spends an hour and a half trying to cross a pit, another hour and a half figuring out glyphs, forty seconds to take down big final opponent.
"Thought that last fight was going to be rough given all the stuff we were struggling with!"
Note: Party was not bombing skill checks. They kept refining their plans and ideas...

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There was a fight out front i na halloweeny type episode, and my grippli touchcaster could not make it out the door and cast a spell, because the door was too far. If i jumped through the window though, i could reach with my tongue to make my shocking grasp hit. So i told the gm i wanted to crash through the window to cast my spell.
His ruling was to do so, against a closed window, would be to make an unarmed strike for free against it. The problem is, I have a 5 strength and am grippli do my damage was something like d3-3. Froggy went splat against the window, and fell prone...
The ninja inside was threatened to say nothing or be explodified.

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Where Mammoths dare not thread
During a certain encounter against several giant creatures, my bloodrager used quickened true strike together with rovagug's fury.
Basically this would be a guarenteed trip against all of them...if I didn't roll a 1, wich I did..
Goodbye rage rounds and goodbye all my happiness.
The Gm played it as a large chunk of the wasteland flipping over, in the opposite direction of the actual combat.....

Banesama |
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The Silverhex Chronicles
I'm playing a half-orc barbarian that runs around with an earthbreaker and a fellow player of mine, she is playing a timid wizard that doesn't like violence. Some very good internal party roleplaying with this group.
Well we just spoiled an assassination attempt on an NPC we came to trade/protect. We managed to surround them and proceeded to take them down one by one. The last assassin, which was a Halfling who decided to flee. He started to run and my barbarian chased him down. I wasn't raging at the moment, so I offered him a chance to surrender. Foolishly he didn't. So I swung my massive weapon and what do you know, I rolled a critical hit and did 48 damage. Splattering the poor halfling's remains all over the timid wizard who was standing nearby. She fainted and our bard just started laughing.

HWalsh |
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So in my 2nd PFS game we traveled to Lian Xia. My Paladin, who perpetually puts everything everyone does in the best possible light, meets a Kung Fu "Master" who teaches us Ogre Style to help her get Justice against a rival school.
So we enter a noodle shop and challenge the monks to a non-lethal duel. All formal-like. The monks mock my "Master" and her fighting style.
Gwyn, in retaliation, as the duel begins yells out, "You will not disrespect the honorable Ogre Style!"
Before rushing forward in a charging "Ogre Swings Club" power attack rolling a natural 20, confirming, and getting maximum damage on both damage dice, dealing ridiculous amounts of damage and sending the poor Monk physically crashing through the back wall.
Posing afterward he declared, "You dishonor your Master with such weak Kung Fu."
Did I mention that I was talking in such a way that my lips were out of synch with my words? Because I totally was.

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So I always try to flourish my character attacks with lines my character may say.
My low my cha arcanist saw an assassin threaten a servant ("If you don't let me walk out of here, I'll slit this guys throat"), and I was looking for a real dorky line, and came up "You're not nice, and you know what is nice, a bunny" And then I baleful polymorphed him into a bunny. He failed both his saves.
What's important is that the bunny still has its sneak attack, because that's not an ex, su or sp ability. And it has weapon finesse, and its dex only went up from being turned into a tiny animal. So the bunny has roughly +15 to hit and does 1d2-1+6d6 sneak damage if it bites you.
Its a shame it wasn't an actual assassin with death attack, a bunny that would stare at you for 3 rounds while you pet it, and then, instakills you would be truely pythonesque.
For reasons not completely known to me, it was named Scallywag.
Also if you ever walk it into an antimagic field it will revert with all its gear.
and another time..... spoiler for EotT pt1
So our rogue ordered the burning goose (I had to choose a flying form because otherwise it would not be suited to its environment and gain a bonus to its saves) and it obliterated the bugbears and the one archer that was still up with the fire storm. And then cast mass cure crit on our party.
Of course when we forgot to give it an order for a round, it greater dispelled itself. But it has adopted the name of Zaligoose (instead of Zaliex) as a thanks to its saviors.

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I run a monthly game for some of the youth in my church (and one super helpful dad, who helps me herd the cats). Since they are relatively young, and new to role-playing, they are usually good for a couple of good quotes, or humorous strategy that’s outside of what I expected. These are from The Frozen Fingers of Midnight, but the context is not super important:
“So, our goal is to kidnap this guy, and steal his stuff, but not look like criminals?”
While discussing a plan to sneak into a warehouse, one player turns to the player with the Harsk pregen. “Not you! You’re too short and fat for sneaking!”
Teenage boy, “Well, you’re a hottie.”
That player’s sister, “Please ignore him. He doesn’t speak for all of us.”

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I run a monthly game for some of the youth in my church (and one super helpful dad, who helps me herd the cats). Since they are relatively young, and new to role-playing, they are usually good for a couple of good quotes, or humorous strategy that’s outside of what I expected. These are from The Frozen Fingers of Midnight, but the context is not super important:
“So, our goal is to kidnap this guy, and steal his stuff, but not look like criminals?”
While discussing a plan to sneak into a warehouse, one player turns to the player with the Harsk pregen. “Not you! You’re too short and fat for sneaking!”
Teenage boy, “Well, you’re a hottie.”
That player’s sister, “Please ignore him. He doesn’t speak for all of us.”
it's things like this that make running games for the younger set so much fun.

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[occ]not exactly a PFS game, but it was very funny...[/occ]
I can remember a home game fight where the PCs just Cake Walked the fight. It involved a number of Kobolds in a ruined watch tower, and the PCs using sleep spells and grapples to beat them easily. Less then 10 HP taken in damage among the 5 PC. so they tie up the Kobold, gather up the loot and ... look it over.
PC1: "What a bunch of C%$#P! Cheap, Small weapons, and wicker shield, 'food' I wouldn't feed my dog, rotten leathers, and COPPER PIECES! What the h&%%, I'm not loading any of this s&^%t on my horse to haul it outta here." off stomps.
The rest of the party shakes their heads in disgust and mounts up. Rides away into the sunset, leaving the pile of loot in the dust beside the bound kobolds.
Player 1 starts to giggle "Talk about insulting. Think about it from the view point of the kobolds. Not only are they not dangerous enough for us to bother to kill 'em, but we didn't even want any of their treasure!"
Player 2 "yeah, (using gollum voice), my precious, why didn't they take my precious - what are we? Mites?" laugh.
It just goes to show, even a Cake walk can be fun, presented the right way. Do you have to nearly die in combat to enjoy yourself?

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A fun story involves my Halfling Lore-warden fighter. He’s a halfling sling-staff user who has slipslinger style and is a switch hitter. While running a low-level game (I was level 3 at the time) the GM has a wizard come up and try to shocking grasp me.
GM: you’re a fighter, right? So you’re wearing metal? Thst’s A +3 to touch.
Me: actually, no, I don’t have much metal on me.
GM: Well, what weapon are you wielding?
Me: Darkwood halfling sling-staff
GM; But your armor is:
Me: Darkleaf lamallar leather.
GM: do you have ANY metal on you?
Me: I have some sharpstones, those are metal-
GM: Good enough
Me: -Incased in clay.
GM: What Kind of fighter are you?! Does a 12 touch you?
Me: No, I have 16 dex and I’m small

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The joke around here is that someone should make a Magus-obsessed character that doesn't wear any metal out of fear of getting Shocking Grasp crit'd to death. In theory a Monk, Druid, or any d6 class can pull it off, but I mean a frontline fighter clad in stone plate and only wielding greatclubs and the like.

HWalsh |
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This was SFS but -
My Solarion tries to gather info in a bar and bombs the diplomacy roll hard, like natural 1. We're trying to get information on counterfeit fuel, but we're trying to be on the down low.
The GM asks me how my character tried to gather information.
I, in my best female voice reply:
I walk up to the first male I see and say, "I am an attractive human female, you are a male who has been drinking. Therefore you find me attractive. Logically you wish to appear attractive to me. I find men with information on counterfeit fuel shipments incredibly attractive..."
The whole table started dying.

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This was SFS but -
My Solarion tries to gather info in a bar and bombs the diplomacy roll hard, like natural 1. We're trying to get information on counterfeit fuel, but we're trying to be on the down low.
The GM asks me how my character tried to gather information.
I, in my best female voice reply:
I walk up to the first male I see and say, "I am an attractive human female, you are a male who has been drinking. Therefore you find me attractive. Logically you wish to appear attractive to me. I find men with information on counterfeit fuel shipments incredibly attractive..."
The whole table started dying.
Ah, in that very same bar: I'm playing a Shirren, someone else is as well, and we see a third important-looking Shirren sitting there. I say, "we could telepathically communicate and find out what he knows without raising suspicion! Since it's all in our head, it won't seem suspicious at all!"
We go talk and I'm bombing my rolls. At some point, the flunkies next to him stand up and start to fight. I'd forgotten that he can send out thoughts to others as well. Big flaw in my plan.
HWalsh |
HWalsh wrote:This was SFS but -
My Solarion tries to gather info in a bar and bombs the diplomacy roll hard, like natural 1. We're trying to get information on counterfeit fuel, but we're trying to be on the down low.
The GM asks me how my character tried to gather information.
I, in my best female voice reply:
I walk up to the first male I see and say, "I am an attractive human female, you are a male who has been drinking. Therefore you find me attractive. Logically you wish to appear attractive to me. I find men with information on counterfeit fuel shipments incredibly attractive..."
The whole table started dying.
Ah, in that very same bar: I'm playing a Shirren, someone else is as well, and we see a third important-looking Shirren sitting there. I say, "we could telepathically communicate and find out what he knows without raising suspicion! Since it's all in our head, it won't seem suspicious at all!"
We go talk and I'm bombing my rolls. At some point, the flunkies next to him stand up and start to fight. I'd forgotten that he can send out thoughts to others as well. Big flaw in my plan.
In ours I approached the same Shirren eventually...
I decide, to keep the theme up:
"I am an attractive human female, you are a Shirren, judging from the movements of your antenna you have tremendous amounts of fine motor control. This intrigues me, I may be open to experimentation with you... If you can give me information regarding counterfeit fuel shipments."
The GM tells me to roll... Natural 20.

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Strength 7 Wizard Fail
There's an early Season 9 scenario where the PCs need to investigate an Aspis warehouse. The warehouse has two glass skylights (Hardness 1, HP 1). The entire party climbed onto the roof, scouted the layout from the skylights, but then they decided to bluff their way inside. The wizard opted to stay on the roof.
The wizard opted to carry no weapons as a matter of character. Eventually, he decided to break the glass to join the fight. Unfortunately, the glass window proved too powerful for the wizard (doing 1d3-2 non-lethal unarmed damage).
He solved that problem by walking off of the roof without feather fall and nearly knocked himself unconscious.

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I just read about various object hardnesses in D&D 5, and apparently paper has 1 HP and 1 hardness. A character with dumped Strength can fail in trying to tear up a sheet of paper.
The phrase "couldn't fight your way out of a wet paper bag" has to have come from somewhere, you know.

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My wife and I have started up a home game in order to introduce some friends to PFS, because these friends' other games haven't met in over two months. For our first session this evening, she ran "The Wounded Wisp," which she and I had played once before.
Without missing a beat, I sighed and said, "I told her it was an inauspicious night."
My wife then explained, OOC, that Sarenrae was testing her bigoted priest. We'd been perfectly honest and respectful up to that point, so were more in Sarenrae's favor than she was, so her unnecessarily violent reaction caused the goddess to strip her of all cleric powers.
"So we've defrocked a priest?" my friend replied. "Awesome!"