Funniest PFS moments?


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Venture-Captain, Nebraska—Omaha aka downerbeautiful

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I'm thinking Rei could be referencing a small number of scenarios, but two come to mind specifically.

His/her story reminds me of one of the better times I had playing:
A group of us are invited to a tea party. Hearing that the event is somewhat formal, all but one of us decide to leave our weapons behind, because, you know, it's a tea party.

Our GM (and VC) looks stunned at the proclamation, but continues on. When combat ensues, the feral elf with natural weapons, the shape-shift dinosaur druid and his dinosaur companion, the unarmed strike sap master, and the unarmed grapple barbarian retaliate in stride.

The only person who brought a weapon with him, the crossbow-man, was just tickled he got to construct a siege engine. He still brags.

Sovereign Court 5/5 5/5 Venture-Lieutenant, Missouri—Cape Girardeau

Applemont Rumplefump wrote:

So last spring we ended up making the poor GM run an adventure backwards.

Fury of the Fiend

** spoiler omitted **

Bless-her-heart, she did not even bat an eyelash and just ran with it. Her GMing impressed the hell out of me.

My Wizard did the Same in Portal of the Sacred Rune.

We go thru the portal and go down the stairs. Detecting the guard/warning spell. So, Since I have teleport memorized, I teleport us to the walkway at the bottom of the well. And then work our way up.

Sovereign Court 5/5 5/5 Venture-Lieutenant, Missouri—Cape Girardeau

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MrSin wrote:
Walter Sheppard wrote:
I may need to invest in some form of mental protection in the future.
Rukk has quiet the way with the ladies though, I think they need it from him.

*sings* All the single ladies [All the Single ladies]

All the single ladies, Dominate Rukk.

Grand Lodge

We had a rather funny session stemming from one of our PC's failing a knowledge arcana check early on in the scenario. We were summoned to another plane facing a monster. None of us really knew what it was, but it all tied together when the GM said, "You aren't sure what this creature is, but you are certain that it was the result of Penfold's failed knowledge arcana roll."

Poor Penfold won't live that down. :(

Sovereign Court 5/5 RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32, 2010 Top 8

TriOmegaZero wrote:
Jonathan Cary wrote:
LoL! You should put that on a T-Shirt.
I'd rock it with my dwarven monk.

I have a 'viking helmet with beard' hast my roommate made me for my birthday. Until I get too warm, I'll wear it when I play Kodiak :-)


Reymas Ashburn wrote:

We had a rather funny session stemming from one of our PC's failing a knowledge arcana check early on in the scenario. We were summoned to another plane facing a monster. None of us really knew what it was, but it all tied together when the GM said, "You aren't sure what this creature is, but you are certain that it was the result of Penfold's failed knowledge arcana roll."

Poor Penfold won't live that down. :(

It really was the best knowledge arcana check ever, and no he will not.


Reymas Ashburn wrote:

We had a rather funny session stemming from one of our PC's failing a knowledge arcana check early on in the scenario. We were summoned to another plane facing a monster. None of us really knew what it was, but it all tied together when the GM said, "You aren't sure what this creature is, but you are certain that it was the result of Penfold's failed knowledge arcana roll."

Poor Penfold won't live that down. :(

Arcana Knowledge is best Knowledge.

...Until you fall down a 30 ft pit...and face an ungodly monster (not necessarily at the same time).

Grand Lodge

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It seems all of my funniest moments happen when TOZ runs games.

BBEG summons a bunch of monsters to surround him. We had a split party, so naturally we cast Create Pit. BBEG falls in, then starts slithering up the wall and out of the pit while our vow-of-silence monk starts bull rushing monsters into the pit. Cast Grease on the wall 20-feet above the pit, BBEG fails his reflex save and goes right back into the pit. The battle resulted with a dog-pile on the boss that lasted several rounds, a pit claiming the lives of at least 2 zombies, a monk bull rushing himself into the pit, and an eidolon braving the 20-foot drop to help the monk.

One of the craziest fights I've been in.

Sovereign Court 5/5 RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32, 2010 Top 8

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Couple from last night.

Mists of Mwangi, which I'd already GMed, and a couple new players in the party.

We mow through most of the encounters being a party of six 1-2s (actually 5 2's and my level 1.2 archaeologist) Frustratingly everyone makes their saves vs <redacted> so no monkey madness. (I made my knowlege check early on, but 'forgot' the monkey information to now ruin the fun for the new players/GM).

Funny Andoran bashing.

GM: You hear beyond the door a horrid chattering, like dozens of monkeys and apes chattering.
Me: Shhh, It seems the Andoran government is meeting in the room.

We go in and the big <redacted> is there.

GM: <redacted> roars and the crowd goes silent.
Me: Crap! It's Major Coleson Maldris!

Fight breaks out, Barbarain drops <redacted> and the party goes after the origin of the problem.

Note: I was playing my tiefling archaeologist since Kodiak has my GM credit for Mists. I picked him primarily so the party could benefit from healing (no divine casters in the party) They were steamrolling so I could be snark support.
GM: Ok, Matt, it's your turn.
Me: I cast prestidigitation and creat a cheap flimsy tricorn on the dead <redacted>'s head. "See! I told you it was Maldris!"

Grand Lodge 2/5

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Snark support is an under-appreciated role in a well balanced party!

Grand Lodge 5/5 Venture-Captain, Arizona—Phoenix aka TriOmegaZero

Matthew Morris wrote:
Funny Andoran bashing.

I need to come back to Origins sometime so you can share a table with my Andoran rogue.

Liberty's Edge

Did someone call for bashing Andoran?

Sovereign Court 5/5 RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32, 2010 Top 8

TriOmegaZero wrote:
Matthew Morris wrote:
Funny Andoran bashing.
I need to come back to Origins sometime so you can share a table with my Andoran rogue.

That would be fun. I'm currently tinkering with the idea of a gnome horse(dog) lord who's an over the top Andoran to go the opposite direction.

Liberty's Edge 5/5

I don't care much for Major Indescretion after some past missions, but I guess he's come around some what with this Worldwound business.

Sovereign Court 5/5 RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32, 2010 Top 8

Auris Deftfoot wrote:
I don't care much for Major Indescretion after some past missions, but I guess he's come around some what with this Worldwound business.

Even my non-Taldan characters pick on Maldris.

"Do you have any questions, my friends, before you go out on your mission of certain death(tm)?"

Kodiak: Yeah, where can I git me a hat like yours?

Grand Lodge 5/5 Venture-Captain, Arizona—Phoenix aka TriOmegaZero

Heaven forbid I get Auris in a scenario when he has to interact with the Paracountess...

Liberty's Edge 4/5

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I always make sure that any Chelish or Taldan pathfinders I am assigned with refer to me as Knight Captain Silbeg Cailean. They are so concerned about things like titles, I just want to make sure they aren't breaking any of their own rules by forgetting mine.

Wouldn't want that on my conscience, don't you know!

For a group without anyone of those affiliations (rare as it might be), you all can just call me Silbeg. Or whatever... just don't let me be late for Last Call!!

Liberty's Edge

Andoran?
I can't wait to leave the place, but I gotta finish my community service to get the remaining 181 years off my prison sentence.

Sovereign Court 5/5

Silbeg Cailean wrote:

I always make sure that any Chelish or Taldan pathfinders I am assigned with refer to me as Knight Captain Silbeg Cailean. They are so concerned about things like titles, I just want to make sure they aren't breaking any of their own rules by forgetting mine.

Wouldn't want that on my conscience, don't you know!

For a group without anyone of those affiliations (rare as it might be), you all can just call me Silbeg. Or whatever... just don't let me be late for Last Call!!

How quaint. I often am shocked at how few of the Andorans believe I am an Eagle Knight. I mean they are denser than your average Ulfen!

Grand Lodge

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5-03 The Hellknight's Feast

the young charismatic sorcerer Drake McCliffer is sitting at a table sipping a glass of a wine as he recounts his latest exploit:

spoiler:
So the group meets the succubus' daughters on the second floor and I decide that I don't want the nearest desirable man-eating she-devil to suck my soul out(pun-intended) and successfully cast charm monster on it. I kindly asks her to help me out to which she replied to take her hand so she can save me, being chaotic (read as a bit of bat manure crazy)I decide to take the extended hand. she proceeds to teleport us to the master bedroom for some "rest."
As I undid the top of my robes to show off my sihedron tattoo off, I ask her if we can make the moment more interesting by having the party and the other demons join them. she instead says she had a better idea and spoke to someone via telepathy. next thing you know her mother shows up for a three way.
A bit shocked I took a few steps back and for the hell of it tried another charm monster on the Succubus, and what do you know SUCCESS!
now here I am stuck between two very attractive she-devils, knowing my friends were nearby I magically opened the door to let them know where the party was at, unfortunately mother was not too happy with my friends showing up and attacked them with her remaining daughter.
the wizard successfully casted feeblemind on the mother while the daughter was put down to a permanent rest.
the party decided to finish off the succubus and with a tear in my eye I told her farewell before she left.

Grand Lodge

Hellknightes Feast

Spoiler:
We complete the scenario, me with a copy of the infernal book of poetry on my Lore Warden with about a dozen known languages. Time for Day Jobs. I'm a scribe but I only have one rank in it, its flavor for me, and I roll a 1. It is determined I attempted to translate the book into Celestial... it didn't go over well trying to sell it.

Sczarni

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In Shade of Ice part 2 the fighter decides to try to push over a large bookcase onto the enemy, strength check 1 ,it rocks back on him. Rather than get out of the way he holds it and fails to right it. The Paladin tries to help and also fails.
One of the bad guys climbs up the slanted side and jumps up and down on the bookcase until they both fail by so much that it collapses on them trapping them both. the mage then scorching rays the bad guy to death leaving the corpse on top of the bookcase.

Silver Crusade

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In Hellknight's Feast (no spoilers), I ran it for an Andoren politician gunslinger/paladin based on George W. Bush, a barbarian based on Arnold Schwarzeneggar who had his wife Maria as a "herald" vanity, a slightly slow half-orc ranger that had done Blakros Matrimony who was trying and failing to act all hoity-toity. The entire scenario was the funniest moment.

I then played Port Godless right after on my paladin

Port Godless Spoilers:
AS SOON AS WE GOT OUT OF CUSTOMS, the ranger started shouting the name of the guy we were looking for, immediately getting us on the Pure Legion's radar. He then started wandering the square, holding up the picture of the guy we were looking for to random people.

Naturally, the Pure Legion showed up when we were in the bathhouse. My paladin was the one that had been talking to our contact. As soon as the guards came in, the NPC hid under the water. We hadn't actually done anything illegal, and my character knew that. The conversation basically went as thus:

Pure Legion: We heard you are looking for (insert NPC name here). Why are you doing that?

Paladin: We think he might have information on someone that we are looking for (which was true).

Pure Legion: Do you have any idea where he is?

Paladin: I have a very solid idea.

Pure Legion: Is he in this area?

Paladin: I think so.

Pure Legion: Is he in this building?

Paladin: Probably.

Pure Legion: Is he in this room?

Paladin: I believe so.

Pure Legion: Could you point him out to us?

Paladin: *points* He's right there.

Our contact immediately curses and runs out the back, and somehow manages to get away. My paladin totally cooperates with the Pure Legion, makes appropriate diplomacy checks and they leave. We somehow managed to get the adventure back on the rails after that lol

Sovereign Court 5/5 RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32, 2010 Top 8

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Infernal Vault (no spoilers)

fighting <redacted> Behind the monk who's grappling the guy who is stabbing said monk.

<redacted> Stab for 8 points of damage
Me: use wand of cure light wounds "Anything you can stab I can heal faster. Anyone you can stab, I can heal too."

We all lost it when I started miming *stab gesture with left hand* "No you can't!" *stab gesture with right hand* "Yes I can!"

One of the other players "And he said he wasn't a bard!" (I was playing one of my archaeologists, who I describe as, "Don't think of me as a bard, think of me as a rogue who gives up sneak attack for awesomeness.")

Shadow Lodge

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Companion, Lost Omens, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber
Hrothdane wrote:

In Hellknight's Feast (no spoilers), I ran it for an Andoren politician gunslinger/paladin based on George W. Bush, a barbarian based on Arnold Schwarzeneggar who had his wife Maria as a "herald" vanity, a slightly slow half-orc ranger that had done Blakros Matrimony who was trying and failing to act all hoity-toity. The entire scenario was the funniest moment.

I then played Port Godless right after on my paladin

** spoiler omitted **

For Port Godless...

Spoiler:
Our fighter had undressed, but managed to sneak in his sword. He stood up out of the water, and specified that he had his weapon at the ready... and then he drew his longsword.


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Port Godless, exact same scene. I should mention that this game happened in a private residence...

Spoiler:
This was a different table than the Morphling's, but we had a naked Cavalier who carried his sword in as well. Naturally, he got lots of odd looks and the Pure Legion showed up shortly after. I was playing a master of disguise Ninja, so I was using my high bluff score to aid the Cavalier's high diplomacy. When the Legion showed up, my Ninja suddenly started acting offended and walked away in a huff. I was doing it to get flanking, but I still thought talking our way out of it was a good option. Going off the offended bit, the cavalier and my ninja ended up staging the disastrous fallout of a sordid gay-love triangle. The Pure Legion officer stood there watching the drama until he finally decided he was tired of it and left in disgust.

After the potential enemy encounter had walked off, the NPC turns to the cavalier and says "that was some fast talking, my friend. I'm impressed." The cavalier looks back at him (and the cavalier's player looks at our table) and says with a completely straight face: "Well, the more you know a man the easier it is to be gay with him."

Shadow Lodge

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Companion, Lost Omens, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber
Jason Hanlon wrote:
says with a completely straight face: "Well, the more you know a man the easier it is to be gay with him."

Pun intended?


ALL puns from that gaming session were intended. It was one of those nights. ;)

Liberty's Edge

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~player of said cavalier~

Worth it.

Elves are very well known for being pretty wishy washy in gender, as such Liran (Elven Cavalier) really does not care, and has used this in a few scenarios already. Much to Lirans incharacter sisters chagrin.

Jason forgot to mention that he happily strode in with nothing but a sword, and was trying to be VERY friendly toward the target until the pure legion interrupted, and I was so ready to have an entire fight sequence in the nude.

Another story involveing the Ninja and Cavalier again...wow...weird things happen when those tow are together...

Bloodcove Disguise:

Spoiler:
Going to meet the woman who is holding the medicine of the shop owner hostage over his sick son: The ninja infiltrates the inn first and mingles among the crowd. We are hoping for a diplomatic, non confrontational event, but Liran likes to be prepared. The ninja identifies the target, and watches for a while realizing the larger individual was nothing more than a bodyguard, and reports where and who, and positions himself in the crowd. In strides the rest of the group. Weapons are purposely not drawn, and Liran takes point in diplomacy, appealing to her to release the man from the debt, asking if money is an issue and that he would gladly pay. After 15 minutes, it was obvious she was not going to comply. Liran and the Ninja had a signal set up if things turned and there was no more discusion possible and hostilities were imminent, "Thats a shame."

So Liran finally says while crossing his arms, "Well. To bad we cannot reach an accords. That's a shame."

Ninja 5 foot steps over, and makes 3 attacks, 1 a critical, dealing around 67 damage, about 15 more than her maximum, and she drops dead before initiative could be rolled. Liran just nods and the rest of the tavern takes a few rounds to realize what happened. During that time, the ninja had vanished back into the crowd. So when they finally noticed, they saw Liran with crossed arms looking at the murdilated body of the woman.

Silver Crusade

Masks of the Living God:
When we were looking to check the high priest's office, we were stopped by guards, who were going to take us to the high priest. We agreed. One guy pointed out we were heavily armed and armored and outnumbered them 2 to 1.

When we were fighting him, he was hit with a bomb, and he laughed. He proceeded to die that round.

In the last combat, I rolled 2 nat 20s in one round, and proceeded to not confirm them.


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"Zach Williams wrote:
Bloodcove Disguise

Good times! That scenario was like a 4 hour long moment of awesome for Kyras (the ninja). In terms of funny, the out of character commentary for that fight was probably better the in character stuff.

Me: *Drools as he gets to use haste for one of the first times ever for this character* Alright. First attack. *Rolls*
GM: Oooooh Nasty! *Records damage*
Me: Second attack. *Rolls*
GM: Haha! She's still alive! Now the fun can begin!
Me: ... and the Ki attack. *Rolls*
GM: *Calculates damage and stares as the number in a long moment of silence* Dang it!

Spoiler:
We eventually replayed the battle, because the GM was looking forward to using the Summoner and Eidolon. In the second version, I threw knives from my table for a surprise round, won initiative, and had to deliberately 'pull' (not use) the ki attack so I didn't one-shot the Eidolon. It was a blossoming moment for the character- it marked his transition from 'nice to have along' to 'serious damage dealer.'

Later that scenario...

Spoiler:
In the final fight, Kyras was bringing up the back. When everyone was ordering up to travel, the party leader (Liran the Cavalier) had checked if he needed someone else with him. "Don't worry," Kyras assured him. "I've got the back."

When the fight started, the party was flanked by four mooks in a rectangle. Kyras won initiative, threw a dagger, killed a mook, popped another dagger from a spring loaded wrist sheet and used Ki to throw it at the other guy, killing him. The GM ruled that Kyras didn't even turn around the throw the daggers. He just flicked a dagger in each hand, threw them backwards over his shoulder, and continued walking while the two mooks went down with knives in their throats. The fight pauses as everyone turns to look at him. He just shrugged. "What? I told you I had the back."

Shadow Lodge

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Companion, Lost Omens, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber
Jason Hanlon wrote:
"Zach Williams wrote:
Bloodcove Disguise

Good times! That scenario was like a 4 hour long moment of awesome for Kyras (the ninja). In terms of funny, the out of character commentary for that fight was probably better the in character stuff.

Me: *Drools as he gets to use haste for one of the first times ever for this character* Alright. First attack. *Rolls*
GM: Oooooh Nasty! *Records damage*
Me: Second attack. *Rolls*
GM: Haha! She's still alive! Now the fun can begin!
Me: ... and the Ki attack. *Rolls*
GM: *Calculates damage and stares as the number in a long moment of silence* Dang it!

As the GM for that scenario... :( She was such a fun boss! I wanted to do that fight so badly! Heh.

If I recall correctly, that was also the scenario where you reacted to an unarmed drunk in a bar fight getting up in your face by front-flipping over his head and decapitating him from behind, yes?

After the alchemist firebombed the tavern?

*hides face in hands*


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Yes. In my defense, I at least waited for the thugs to pull out weapons before I started decapitating people. Of course, since the Alchemist decided the answer to a drunken unarmed bar fight was explosive ordinance, it didn't take long. :p

That was also the scenario where the bloodthirsty ninja attempted to redeem himself by talking through an encounter, and the peace-loving Andoran cavalier pulled a Leroy Jenkins.

Spoiler:
*We walk into a shop. Three toughs are shuffling around, trying to act like they're buying stuff. The shopkeep looks over at us and mouths "Help me!" *

Me: Kyras steps up. "Now now, gentlemen. Let us discuss a peaceful resolution out of..."
Zach: "Nope. FREEDOM!!!" *Charge*

Our party well and truly earned the murder-hobo title that day...

Venture-Captain, Nebraska—Omaha aka downerbeautiful

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Jason Hanlon wrote:
** spoiler omitted **

If I'm not mistaken, isn't the the same scenario? Like, 90% positive it is.

Bloodcove Disguise, since err'one's doin' it:

Gm'ing the final fight: The beautiful woman standing next to the squat hag strikes you for X, Y, Z.
Players: Oh, wow, she's a tough Amazonian!
Couple rounds later, Players: We strike at the beautiful, powerful lady, dealing A, B, C damage.
Gm'ing her demise: She poofs.
Players: What do you mean? Where's the body?
Re: It's not there. She poofed. No body.
Players: No, where's the body?
Re: Knowledge Arcana?
Players: No. Where's the body?
Re: Uh, she poofed; she's not there.
...
Re: Eidolon.
Players: Oooooh


Yes. My last two posts have all been bloodcove disguise. It was an awesome session.

Sovereign Court 5/5 RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32, 2010 Top 8

Re Bloodcove disguise. That fight.

My Inquisitor was stuck behind patrons and couldn't get to the fight. So he cast spiritual weapon and just started taking bets.

Grand Lodge

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Jason Hanlon wrote:

Port Godless, exact same scene. I should mention that this game happened in a private residence...

** spoiler omitted **

After the potential enemy encounter had walked off, the NPC turns to the cavalier and says "that was some fast talking, my friend. I'm impressed." The cavalier looks back at him (and the cavalier's player looks at our table) and says with a completely straight face: "Well, the more you know a man the easier it is to be gay with him."

You sir, made me laugh.

EDIT
Actually, everything with Kyras and Liran is hi-larious. They need their own chronicle.

Liberty's Edge

Jason Hanlon wrote:

Yes. In my defense, I at least waited for the thugs to pull out weapons before I started decapitating people. Of course, since the Alchemist decided the answer to a drunken unarmed bar fight was explosive ordinance, it didn't take long. :p

That was also the scenario where the bloodthirsty ninja attempted to redeem himself by talking through an encounter, and the peace-loving Andoran cavalier pulled a Leroy Jenkins.

** spoiler omitted **
Me: Kyras steps up. "Now now, gentlemen. Let us discuss a peaceful resolution out of..."
Zach: "Nope. FREEDOM!!!" *Charge*

Our party well and truly earned the murder-hobo title that day...

Now hang on, there is a bit of background here that is needed for context!

Liran is always first with words, second with sword. The entire scenario he had been trying to talk. The tavern scene with the beheading, Liran tried to stop his party. Problem was the Alchemist went first, firebombed the patrons, then the Ninja went, and knife bombed one dude. When Liran went he managed to regain control of the situaiton and talk everyone down. What made the incident mentioned above so funny was that he turned completely around 180 when

Spoiler:
he got to the store and found that the man was obviously enslaved or bound in someway, and immediately charged one of the armed men screaming freedom.


Matthew Morris wrote:

Re Bloodcove disguise. That fight.

My Inquisitor was stuck behind patrons and couldn't get to the fight. So he cast spiritual weapon and just started taking bets.

When I ran that one for another group...

Yet Another Bloodcove Disguise Story:
The party was being led by this big, beefy, Chelaxian fighter and his equally beefy Chelaxian battle oracle friend. They were more impressed by the pit fighting setup of the bar than off-put by it. Their solution to that particular puzzle was arranging a one on one pit fight between the fighter and the Eidolon bodyguard. The party buffed the fighter as much as they could and he managed to solo the CR+2 (for his level) Eidolon. I was so impressed by the creative solution that I almost regretted the negative consequences the party collected for leaving the Summoner alive.

...almost. >:p

Come to think of it, a LOT of cool stories resulted from Bloodcove Disguise. That was an awesome scenario!

Scarab Sages 4/5

I believe Bloodcove was the scenario where my LG Cleric was in a party with two CN Tieflings, 3 Half-Orc Barbarians, and a Human Wizard (table of 7).

Bloodcove Disguise:
The Wizard and I spent most of the game looking at each other as if to say, "What have we gotten ourselves into." The highlight was during the bar fight, when one of the Barbarians got frustrated and sundered the side of the fish tank, flooding the bar and releasing the creatures inside. That was enough to empty the bar, except for the people involved in the fight.

Sovereign Court 5/5 RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32, 2010 Top 8

Oh one other funny moment at the end.

Spoiler:
We get ambushed and I get tagged by the charged wand (Really? already cast and waiting to discharge? She wanders around the whole day with a stick in ehr hand that can injure anyone who brushes against it? Heaven help her if she needs the hand for anything) and I get a grapple off. GM panics a bit then remembers she's a witch.

GM: Ha! Slumber!
Me: Hah, Half-elf! *cestus to the face*


I played for the first time and provided humor to the table with the following:

The Confirmation:

My PC is an urban ranger focused on his shield. As a result headed down a secret tunnel I'm in the lead and directly behind me is a ronin samurai pre-gen.

The GM calls for a Perception; I fail and the paladin succeeds. The GM describes something "reflective and translucent that seems to fill the entire hall" to t samurai. Now, I may be new to PFS but I've been playing for a LOOONNNNGGGG time, so I KNOW this is a gelatinous cube.

My PC doesn't know. GM says "Knowledge: Dungeoneering?"; neither of us took it. He asks for my action. I shrug, turn to the samurai and exclaim "there's nothing there, but just in case I'll hold my wooden shield at the ready". With that I proceed right into the cube.

GM calls for a Ref save; I make it so I'm not in the middle of it (yet). Bumping into it triggers a readied action. It's slam attack hits and I am paralyzed. The surprise round done it moves up engulfing me and doing enough damage to send me straight to exact 0, but I stabilize. So I'm paralyzed, suffocating, and being dissolved in acidic ooze.

The round continues and for some reason the GM asks me for my action the next round. I respond by just going rigid and whimpering in my seat a la Westley from the Princess Bride. Good for a laugh from the group!

Funny thing was I debated over knowledge: local which is already a class skill or dungeoneering through a trait. I also hemmed and hawed over keeping him well rounded with an Int bonus that would've given him ONE more skill point. In the end I went Knowledge: Local and lowered his Int for more Wis. My guy almost died during his confirmation over one lousy skill point...


Last week playing Library of the Lion with a GM who is very outspoken about rogues and their worth. I think it was right before one of the combats the rogue mentioned how he dumped CON for either more DEX or INT. We all yell at the GM to make a will save.
The rogue goes down in the first round of combat.

Silver Crusade

I was playing You Only Die Twice at a con a couple weekends ago.

You Only Die Twice spoilers:
We get teleported to the drop zone and immediately a patrol comes by being led by a mummy. We were supposed to remain as low profile as possible until the mission was over, so fighting was a last resort.

My 5 Int, 20 Cha female paladin saunters over to the mummy and I look at the DM and say, "I flirt with the mummy." Made a diplomacy check with the line, "I can't wait to get my hands on you." Which was 100% true because if the diplo check failed, I was going to smite and tear into him with the claw/claw/bite attack the scenario mechanics had provided us all with.

The Exchange 5/5

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I always like the funny stories... floating this to the top with another story...

group of new players in First Steps - 3 of the five playing an RPG for the first time, the other was a younger kid (yeah, the "experienced gamer" was maybe not...).

At the warehouse they discover thier ninja has no ranks in Disable Device, and they are concerned about braking down the door. So they look for other ways in... Looking around they find a boat... yada-yada, climb up the hole into the warehouse.

Continue the adventure, disturb the inhabitants, and several minutes pass while they first fight the "monsters" then get the McMuffen. Yeah! It's high fives and congrats all around, ... then they discover no one tied the boat off... and it's drifted away.

After braking OUT, they all do the "I'm not guilty fast walk" away from the dock - glancing around to see if anyone saw them.

This only gets better when the next week several of the same players (and PCs) play a different adventure where again they are in a small boat. They climb up the side of a ship - into a fight - and you guessed it, failed to tie the small boats to the ship... leaving an animal companion (a boar) in the boat.

I've got to look up another scenario for this group that involves travel in a small boat... just to see if "three times the charm"!


In the old "Decline of Glory" scenario, the PCs are sent to a distant, swampy backwater at the edge of Taldor's domain to ask permission to set up a new Pathfinder Lodge.

But they find that the town is under assault by some greedy mercenary soldiers. As a local explains, these thugs are basically using the emperor's land-reform policy to try to set themselves up as lords by seizing the territory.

One PC remarks: "Yeah, it would suck if some strangers came barging in here to use your land for their own purposes... *cough*. Umm, we need to talk more later."

The Exchange 5/5

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yeah, I know, it's thread necro - but I have a funny story to tell.

My PC moves a little ahead of the party to check out something that just screams TRAP! and what do you know - it's a trap. A Haunt actually....

Judge (knowing I go in the surprise round due to 1 level of Foresight wizard): "roll Init"
Me: (roll and add) "9, yeah I rolled a 3 +6 = 9" my worst Init roll so far in that game...
Judge describes powerful visions and then says: "Make a will save"
Me: rolling a "Nat 1". sigh, "there is a reason I always take 10 on things... Wait, I bet this is a D$%# Haunt isn't it - I hate those things... Can I use my shirt re-roll?"
Judge: "yeah, maybe you should"
Me: Another "Nat 1".
Judge: "wow... "
Me: "Yeah, it's my karma - I never roll better with re-rolls - It's a haunt isn't it? you know I have holy water in a spring wrist sheath just for these stupid things...."
2nd player handing me another die: "here, try with this one..."
Me: "oh, I can do it with this one too." roll "Nat 1."
All these are with EXTRA BIG dice.... so everyone can see the three d20s in front of me all reading "1"
I pick up my "special dice" and roll it too... Yeah, "Natural 1" for the fourth time in a row.
Judge gets up from the table to walk around a second and then asks "are you some type of warlock or something?"
Me: "Nah, my dice just hate me..."

Really - there is a reason I try to always take 10. It's 10 times as much as a "1"....


PC Witch (playing it COMPLETELY stereotypical): "I have apple, many apples... you want one of my apples?" cackle, cackle...
PC (me): "Nah, think I'll pass..."
PC Witch: "They're *not* poison, I assure you. You want apple?"
PC (me): "OK, fine, give me an apple."
Witch hands my PC an apple, PC smashes it on the ground.
PC (me): "How many more ya got there? Can I have another?"
PC Witch: "Um, no."
Witch walks away.

The Exchange 5/5

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another funny story - this one is a little old though...
.
Party is looking at a long dark tunnel that they know leads to a den of thieves. Surely there are traps, and they don't really have anyone to find them, let along disable them. But then one of the PCs says "Hay! I've got a Bag of Tricks!" So he pulls a random animal and (dice rattle) it's a cat (house cat).
"Search Phlahphie!" and what do you know - it get's 10 feet in and SPLAT! so they draw another. (This was in 3.5 days, so you could draw creatures 5 times a week.)
Rattle dice and it's another cat. 10 MORE feet and splat. Again, and ANOTHER cat.
"Search Phlahphie!" and you guessed it - it get's 10 more feet in and SPLAT!
The dice rattle and guess what?, another cat.
At which point the judge points out the cat stops and looks real accusingly back at the player. "It looks like the same cat."
Guess what the player did? yeah, sent it down the hall. After all, "It's got nine lives!"

Dark Archive

Party asks for empowered fireball despite that it will hit the cavalier. Cavalier agrees, having forgotten (the rest of us, GM included), had as well. Makes his save. Fireball does around 80 damage total. Cavalier miraculously makes save, which is good, because that would've outright killed him. Nobody expected such a good roll. It is only after this that someone in the party remembers to mention his mount (it was one of those boon companions you have to get revived to keep). Mount rolls 1.

Fried chicken jokes for the next four hours.

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