Funniest PFS moments?


Pathfinder Society

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The Exchange 5/5

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During a scenario with a "local thug" encounter, where the PCs are confronted by "hired thugs" intended to warn them off of their research, we captured several of the thugs and were questioning them.

Our judge had run another scenario for some of us the week before where we had much the same encounter... so he knew my PC and knew how I liked to handle the "Gather Information from the Thugs" (we had several "new" PCs in the group though). So the "interview" when something like this....

PC: "So Mook, we meet again!"
Mook #417: "Yeah, if'n I'd knowed it was yous, I might not've takkan dis job".
PC: "and how's the wife? and the little mooks? three isn't it?"
Mook #417: "same oh-same oh, off visitin' her mum again in Durma, and the lil ones is growin' like weeds..."
PC: glancing at the other mooks - stablized and waiting thier turn "So, does the local Thugs Union have ok Medical benifits? Looks like you guys will need it. Wait, you're Rent-A-Thug aren't you?"
Mook #417: "Not w'at it used ta be, w'at wit da cut backs and all. Had to switch over to Thugs-are-Us."
PC: "Tell ya what Mook, I'll pop for a couple charges off my happy stick when we're done here..."
Mook #417: "Hay, you're all ri't! T'anks!"
PC: "No problem! Least I can do. Now, about the guy who hired you..."

All this while the other players just watched. After all, I said my guy was the "Face"...

When I noted to the judge that I was marking off a wand charge for each of the Mooks, one of the other players also offered to chip in on the healing... "heck, they put up a good fight for Mooks!"

Silver Crusade

I have run two separate sessions that include a chase scene. I went through the trouble of constructing chase cards with pictures of the obstacle the PCs needed to overcome. Neither of the cahses went very far.

The first was the God's Market Gamble, the cleric PC got in range of the running target, cast 'command' and told the target to "approach"! The dejected runner hung his head and walked back to the PC with his head hung low. Got through 1/4 of the chase locations.

The second did not even last that long. The Rise of the Goblin's Guild. Two PCs were in position and succeeded at the required roll, and one beat the target's initiative. The target only needed to roll a '5' on the die to make the check to get away. As luck would have it I rolled the mighty '1' and the target did not even get out of the room. The target, a female goblin, blamed her inability to get away on the PC who shot her as she was jumping out the window.

Grand Lodge

BigNorseWolf wrote:
RainyDayNinja wrote:
It took three tries, five blood points, and all the charges on a regular Persistent Spell Metamagic Rod, but the bloatmage managed to turn the final boss of The Elven Entanglement into a fluffy bunny rabbit. The rabbit managed to get off one last unholy blight before it got turned into a smear, but it was still a sadly ignoble death.
Killer bunny!

JESUS CHRIST!

The Exchange 5/5

Quendishir wrote:
BigNorseWolf wrote:
RainyDayNinja wrote:
It took three tries, five blood points, and all the charges on a regular Persistent Spell Metamagic Rod, but the bloatmage managed to turn the final boss of The Elven Entanglement into a fluffy bunny rabbit. The rabbit managed to get off one last unholy blight before it got turned into a smear, but it was still a sadly ignoble death.
Killer bunny!
JESUS CHRIST!

"Run AWAY!"

Liberty's Edge

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Our party was arguing about how we should "handle" some people. We were mostly a bunch of thugs and our paladin was about the highest INT character in the group. So we decide to have a show of hands on what action we should take.

Paladin deciding to be feisty: Ok, good, i'm the only one who can count.
Me: You only one can count, but you only one who doesn't.

High fives and much smashing. Good times.

Grand Lodge

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So last spring we ended up making the poor GM run an adventure backwards.

Fury of the Fiend

Spoiler:

The adventure starts with us finding out another pathfinder team was missing. The Venture Captain in Absolom giving us the mission had the last letter to the Society written when one of the PCs playing a cleric of Pherasma said "Hey, I can use that to scry on her right now." Once he did showing her in a dark cave taken prisoner. At which point I, playing my high level Gnomish Wizard said "I have Teleport. I can carry us to her directly."

The GM just looked at us and said "Fine" and there we teleported to the last encounter of the adventure and what had been a search-and-rescue adventure became an escort mission as she ran the rest of the encounters in reverse order as we tried to keep the NPC prisoners alive.

Bless-her-heart, she did not even bat an eyelash and just ran with it. Her GMing impressed the hell out of me.

Silver Crusade

Since my paladin seems to have the best stories, I'm posting as her.

The Stolen Heir

First off, I should note that I played with what is probably the best character I've seen, both in terms of mechanics and roleplaying. While I can't remember the character's name, he went by The Blade of Mercy and did massive amounts of nonlethal damage with his greatsword, named Personality. Probably the best part was when he critted and did something like 35 damage, outright one-shotting the mook he was up against. He was currently an urban barbarian, but he was planning on multiclassing next level to play a bard-barian. Unfortunately, this meant giving up Personality, as he's going for Dervish Dancer; he now wields Diplomacy, a scimitar.

Anyways...

Spoiler:
So we're trying to gather information on the missing heiress discretely. Since one of the few details we have about her is that her father's trying to marry her off, someone suggested that one of us pose as a potential suitor. A quick consensus of characters confirmed that the only one dressed well enough to pull it off was... my paladin. As someone remarked, "Well, that would explain why she can't keep a boyfriend." Sadly, we ended up just questioning some students we found in a coffeehouse.

At the abandoned mansion where she was being kept, we decided to hang back while the ranger scouted the place out. Unfortunately, he fell in the pit trap. The witch tried to rescue him... and ended up in the pit trap as well. Upon learning that the pit he had fallen into was a natural one, the ranger was very embarrassed.

After we rescued the girl, there was some debate as to what to do next with her. My paladin thought she should go back to her father (this was before we knew who arranged for the kidnapping), as even if she didn't get along with him, surely her return would reinspire his paternal affection for her, and they could make up. No one else seemed quite so optimistic.

In the end, we sent two of the characters back to town to pick up the halfling guard captain we'd met earlier. He was found in the local bar, completely sloshed. The person succeeded at convincing him to come with, but utterly failed to get him to come without bringing all the rest of the equally-drunk guardsmen with him. On the way there, they tried to get as many of the guards as possible to fall into the pit. All but a few did. Once they had proven extremely unhelpful, we tried to get the rest of them in there. It ended up going like this:
GM: Okay, so all but one of them have fallen into the pit.
Player: Wait, which one of them didn't fall?
GM: Um... the captain.
Player: You mean the halfling?
GM: Yes.
Player: I push him in.
Everyone ended up helping with that roll, and in the end, the GM ruled that we all just picked him up bodily and tossed him down in there.

Grand Lodge 5/5

Gregor Klegain wrote:

The second did not even last that long. The Rise of the Goblin's Guild. Two PCs were in position and succeeded at the required roll, and one beat the target's initiative. The target only needed to roll a '5' on the die to make the check to get away. As luck would have it I rolled the mighty '1' and the target did not even get out of the room. The target, a female goblin, blamed her inability to get away on the PC who shot her as she was jumping out the window.

I can beat that one even. First initative count. Slumber Hex, failed will save. Chase Ovah!

Shadow Lodge

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I was playing my 6th level Hedge Witch for this one scenario recently.
Our party was tasked with obtaining a LIVE Bulette for trading purposes in a 48 hour time limit. We took more damage from travel then we did in the fight to obtain this live magical beastie. When we found said beast, here is roughly what happend:

1.The Sorcerer and Rouge did lots of non-leathal damage to the Bulette.
2. The Oracle in my party placed Misfortune on the battered Bulette.
3. I used Evil Eye on the battered and unfortunate Bulette.
4. I then used a scroll of Charm Monster on the battered, unfortunate and Evil-eyed Bulette.
5. I treated the battered, unfortunate, Evil-eyed and charmed Bulette kindly and gently to change its attitude from friendly to helpful.
6. I cast Carry Companion on said battered,unfortunate, Evil-eyed, charmed and treated Bulette.
7. I placed said miniaturized, stone-formed, treated, charmed, Evil-eyed, unfortunate and battered Bulette into my pocket to take back to our intended destination.
8. We took more damage traveling back than fighting but not as much as when looking for the now miniaturized, stone-formed, treated,charmed, Evil-eyed, unfortunate and battered Bulette in my pocket.
9. The party COMPLETELY bypassed an entire combat by having no visual trace of the afore-mentioned Bulette from a potential ambush.
10.We returned to the individual with whom we parleyed with prior for this trade arangement and informed them that we did indeed have the creature in question for them. At first we were not believed until I produced the miniaturized, stone-formed, treated, charmed, Evil-eyed, unfortunate and battered bulette from my pocket and dismissed the effect that held it there.
I had a Bulette in my pocket and it's intended owner was happy to see me...

Silver Crusade

I'll be the first person to admit that I tend to go all munchkin when building my characters for PFS. However, I'm of the opinion that if I don't know who I'm playing with on a weekly basis, I'd rather be powerful enough to solo the scenario and not need said power, than need said power and not have it. Anyway, enough on my character design theory.

I have a level 5 paladin who epitomizes "lawful stupid". She's a demon-spawn tiefling paladin with a 5 in Int. Yes, you read that right. I said a 5 in Int. Hey, at least she has a 20 in Str and Cha, right? So anyway, before our scenario started this past Saturday night, one of my companions was looking over my character sheet. He just had to point out to everyone how apropos it was that my 5 Int paladin had the traits Dangerously Curious and Suicidal. Many yuk yuks were had.

So we start the scenario, and...

Tower of the Ironwood Watch:
...we get to an encounter with an incubus and some other little angry plant thing. My paladin thinks she has them hemmed up in the room where the only person they can attack is her, and that's fine because nobody else in the group really wants to get into melee combat with these things.

While finishing off the angry shrubbery, the incubus teleports out of the room and is suddenly all up in the face of our witch and bard. I ask if they need me to break off and tackle the incubus. The witch says, "Nah I got it. DM, make a DC whatever will save for the incubus. DM rolls a 1 on the save, incubus falls asleep." We finish off the pugilistic plant, I walk up to the incubus, Smite Evil, and on the next round, coup de grace it for something like 65 damage. What should have been a very difficult encounter made ridiculously easy by the witch's slumber hex.

Sovereign Court 4/5 5/5

Monday night our group was playing an older scenario. Our party came across a hole and one player asked to be lowered down by his feet so he could look around. So the strongest player (the barbarian) grabs a hold of his feet and lowers him down. The GM gets an evil grin and then the next thing we know there is some movement from the hanging player and the barbarian ends up dropping him. We find out later that some monks were down the hole and used him like a punching bag until he went unconscious. To add insult to injury the cleric who jumped down right on top of him.

Sovereign Court 5/5 RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32, 2010 Top 8

Linguistic one from this weekend.

Ksenia just got accursed hex, and I always say "spat' na polu" (sleep on the floor) when I use it. Usually I say "yob tovyu mat'" before it* if it's really bad.

Well we had a 10 year old at the table, and we avoid bad (english) words, well we try to... So when the LBEG failed her save, I, on a lark, let google translate work and it said "Ya skazal idti spat', suka."** Everyone (except the 10 year old who was just told it was "I said, go to sleep!") got a laugh out of it, when they read the screen.

*

Spoiler:
Google translate says it differently, I'm using the transliteration I read years ago in The Cardnial and the Kremlin.

*
Spoiler:
It's Russian for "I said, go to sleep, b&%~#."

Bawdy one from this weekend.

Our oracle goes to throw her magic muzzle (animal archive item) on a creature. She misheard the size of it. "Oh, well it's bigger than I thought."

Later I said, "This is how you can tell it's a game. No woman has ever said that in real life. Ever."

Liberty's Edge

This is from my part of the Rise of the Runelords AP we are running so as to claim chronicle sheets.

Location : Graul Homestead/Freekshow

Sub location; Playpen

Lucky is an ogrekin in a Diaper
Maulgro is another young ogrekin who is taunting Lucky by dancing a jig.. something Lucky can never do because he has very short mutated legs incapable of dancing

Party burst in to confront this scene with Maulgro dancing around on one foot while Lucky is Crying/ Wailing over this. Players at my table lose it, Im having trouble forming sentences for the encounter due to laughter.

5/5 5/5 Venture-Captain, Georgia—Savannah

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I played Night March of Kalkamedes recently. My Cleric has a lot of gear and not much strength, so she travels with a mule called Fluffy. Fluffy makes a better PC than my cleric does.

Night March of Kalkamedes:
So, we decide to make a rope harness for Kalkamedes (like a toddler leash) and tie the other end of the leash to Fluffy's pack saddle. Then my cleric tied a bell on Kalkamedes, so even if he got loose, we could find him easily. So, keeping track of him was no problem, and when we needed to stop and work out a problem, we just stopped Fluffy.

We navigated the thorns by forcibly taking him around them. No problem.

We built a crappy little semi-raft floaty thing that kept his head above water while we crossed the lake. No problem.

Then we got to the chasm. I figured we would have to abandon Fluffy. The rest of the party had other ideas. They used a grapple arrow and strung a line. Most of the party 'ziplined' across. We basically hogtied Kalkamedes, ziplined him across with PCs ready to prevent head trauma from running into the stone wall. No problem.

But what about Fluffy? Never fear! The Summoner has a block & tackle! So, my cleric used a heal check and materials from the healer's kit to sedate Fluffy (great skill check). The strong PCs used the block & tackle to lower an unconscious mule down into the chasm and up the other side. We woke Fluffy up, re-attached Kalkamedes' leash, and continued. No problem!

We work our way down to the 'Gnome'. Everybody twigged that something wasn't right, but we basically ignored him in favor of getting the mission done, deciding to deal with the Gnome after. Cue the zombie dragon. So close to his goal, Kalkamedes gets a burst of strength and is able to (slowly) drag Fluffy toward the other circle. But even then, it delayed him enough that we were able to resolve the dragon first.

So, we get Kalkamedes resolved. We're done, right? We can leave? Nope. Somebody just has to mess with the 'Gnome'. We still don't know exactly what it is, but we know it isn't a Gnome, and anything trapped inside a magic circle that looks like a Gnome but hasn't Bleached can't be what it seems. So, we're just going to ignore it. After all, if it's trapped, it can't hurt us, right?

Right. Unless one of the PCs tries to attack it with acid. That drips down onto the magic circle... It comes close. So close. But the acid doesn't do *quite* enough damage to release the trapped 'Gnome'. We hustle everyone out, leaving the 'Gnome' trapped in the damaged but intact circle. No problem!

And so we all go home safe and sound, secure in a job well done!

Oh, and the intelligent sword? We brought it with us, sure. The Barbarian stuck it in his pack and forgot about it until the end, when we gave it back to Kalkamedes.

Liberty's Edge

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Last night we were playing Stolen Heir and were about 4/5 through the adventure where our cleric of Besmara had cast a number of spells, handled most of our diplomacy, gather information, bluffs etc. Generally coming off as being a pretty Shady Character. Same character in first steps 2 who had to be tied to the mast for the entire voyage to keep our original low price for passage because he offended the captain so much.
The player then says something about being a cleric ooc.
GM's response: You're a cleric?

Silver Crusade

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My paladin gave a mighty roar as he exploded into a sprint toward the cluster of undead over the hill, then failed as badly as he possibly could have in his attempt to jump over a 5 foot gap in the path through flooded fields. He fell face first in the mire, then was trod over by all of his companions.

Scarab Sages

UllarWarlord wrote:

Seeing as I know FanaticRat, I apologize if I've frustrated him in any way.

In other news...
** spoiler omitted **

My wizard made a study of the spoiler after it had revealed itself, sketching in the back pages of his spellbook and all.

Shadow Lodge

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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Companion, Lost Omens, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Making our way through the heavily trapped dungeon (without a rogue or any other trapfinder), my paladin exhaustively checked the door before him for traps, taking 20 to ensure nothing would be missed, and receiving aid from a companion just to be sure. Satisfied that the door was completely safe, he opened the door, stepped through into the pit trap on the other side, fell 70 feet (at second level) and wound up at -12 and dying at the bottom, two points from death. He failed two stabilization checks, then stabilized at -13 while the party looked for a rope.

He allowed the dwarf barbarian to take point after that...

Grand Lodge

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TheDalsine Affair:

Me(GM): Pasha slices out the throat of Baron Jacqo Dalsine who falls dead to the floor. She says "*box text*", clicks her heels together, and disappears. A man stands at the top of the stiarcase having a hearty laugh, looking down at his fallen cousin.
We are now in initiative. *Taldan character* is the first to act. What would you like to do?
Taldan PC's player: I check to see if Dalsine is actually dead. *Heal check*
ME: Even from 20ft away, you can see his neck is now like a Pez Dispenser. He is very dead.
Player: I loot the body.
Me: What body?
Player: Dalsine. He's dead, right? So I loot his body.
Me: *facepalm* You do realize he is/was the head of your faction, right?
Player: Yea, I wanna loot his corpse.
Me: ...

Shadow Lodge 5/5 5/5 Regional Venture-Coordinator, Northwest aka WalterGM

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My barbarian has been getting in to trouble with mind control recently...

Rats of Round Mountain, pt. 2:

Rukk is a half-orc barbarian with a massive Constitution and a dangerously naive outlook on the world. He's not to bright, but he has a big heart and assumes the best in everyone he comes across. After a few levels of butchering ratfolk, Rukk entered the final room at the head of the party. Before him he found the Undying Empress in the process of negotiating with the Aspis Consortium. Being the gentleman he is, I tried to have him negotiate through the encounter.

Rukk: "WAIT GUYS. THESE OTHER GUYS ARE HERE FIRST. WE HAVE TO WAIT OUR TURN TO TALK TO THE RAT LADY."
The Party: "Screw that, we're going to kill them and then force her to leave the throne!"
Roll initiative....
The Empress: "Protect me from your allies!" casts dominate whatever - Rukk rolls a 1 on the save
The Party: "Oh god, get away from him! Kill her!!" our melee closes distance, and our damage dealers hit her for almost 100 damage in the first round
Rukk: Thinks for a minute, then bullrushes the Empress. WE HAVE TO GET AWAY FROM THEM RAT LADY! THEY WILL KILL YOU IF YOU DON'T RUN!!
The Empress: casts dimension door and takes Rukk with her

The GM explained that I spent the next few days in her employ as a servant, before the dominate wore off and I ended up killing the Empress after she revealed herself as a rashaka. And after a few days navigating Round Mountain, he finally found his way out. Apologizing to the party was pretty awkward when he got back to Absalom.

The Heresy of Man, Pt. 3:

After dropping in to the main chamber, we came upon a beautiful maiden chained to a pillar and being prepared for a sacrifice. Several cultists surround her. The party threw some buffs on Rukk before heading forward, most importantly heroism. I imagined that it turned Rukk from a bashful, meaty savage into a well articulated knight-like hero. Shouting a brave battle cry, he rushed forward to save the damsel in distress.

"FEAR NOT FAIR MAIDEN! I SHALL FREE YOU FROM THESE UNHOLY BONDS!!"

After shattering the chains with his bare hands, the maiden fell upon his chest. "Oh thank you strong hero!" casts dominate monster - Rukk rolls a 1 "You must protect me from all danger!"

The party notices her spellcasting, and warns me that she's trying to mind control me. Rukk, being the ignoramous that he is, fails to see through her deception (turns out she had a bluff modifier 20+ higher than my sense motive).

"YOU'RE CLEARLY MISTAKEN FRIENDS! SHE IS AN INNOCENT FLOWER, PLUCKED FROM THE DEPTHS OF HELL!"

After more back and forth, she convinces Rukk that more maidens are in danger ahead, so the two of us elope forth. Rukk making combat poses and challenging various shadows and rocks to duels. With me gone, the party hangs back and interrogates the worshipers. He finds out that yes, the woman is some sort of fiendish creature in disguise and that, yes, I am very mind controlled. But before they can save me, she convinces me that we should go topside, out of this dungeon. So she teleports us away.

The party sighs, "Come on Rukk, not again!"

The GM was nice enough to have me reappear part way through the next fight, as I told him that I would have been trying to convince her that my party was full of cowards and required saving as well. So she teleported me back down and then left. Apparently the company of a 7 charisma half-orc wasn't enough to keep her entertained for more than an hour.

I may need to invest in some form of mental protection in the future.


Walter Sheppard wrote:
I may need to invest in some form of mental protection in the future.

Rukk has quiet the way with the ladies though, I think they need it from him.

The Exchange 5/5

Walter Sheppard wrote:

My barbarian has been getting in to trouble with mind control recently...

** spoiler omitted **

** spoiler omitted **...

ah... I can see this now.

Encounter is starting and the party notices a "damsel in distress" - they turn to Rukk and say -
"Hay Rukk, you got some 'protection'?" wink-wink, nudge-nudge...

Shadow Lodge 5/5 5/5 Regional Venture-Coordinator, Northwest aka WalterGM

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nosig wrote:
Walter Sheppard wrote:

My barbarian has been getting in to trouble with mind control recently...

** spoiler omitted **

** spoiler omitted **...

ah... I can see this now.

Encounter is starting and the party notices a "damsel in distress" - they turn to Rukk and say -
"Hay Rukk, you got some 'protection'?" wink-wink, nudge-nudge...

"PROTECTION? WHAT PROTECTION!? ARMOR IS FOR COWARDS!"

Rukk proceeds to explain the proud stories behind his many, many scars

You just got to love that AC of -1 on a charge. It's like having a cantrip-level cloak of displacement. Since natural 1s always miss, I have a permanent 5% miss chance, even with a negative AC!

Sczarni 5/5

Walter Sheppard wrote:

"PROTECTION? WHAT PROTECTION!? ARMOR IS FOR COWARDS!"

Rukk proceeds to explain the proud stories behind his many, many scars

You just got to love that AC of -1 on a charge. It's like having a cantrip-level cloak of displacement. Since natural 1s always miss, I have a permanent 5% miss chance, even with a negative AC!

The looks you get from the dancy little piles of AC when you're getting hit on less than 10 are always heartwarming.

Mistmail makes that miss chance (slightly) more reliable. Unless its windy.

As an added bonus to having a single digit AC is that some DMs just assume rolls less than say, 12 always miss and don't even mention the attacks.

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16

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This weekend, our party knocked out a druid who was water-walking over a river, while Wild Shaped into a water elemental. That presented a real problem over how to take her captive. My alchemist ended up using foaming powder to turn her into something solid so we could take her on board our ship. It got kind of messy.

5/5 Venture-Lieutenant, Finland—Tampere aka Rei

RainyDayNinja wrote:
This weekend, our party knocked out a druid who was water-walking over a river, while Wild Shaped into a water elemental. That presented a real problem over how to take her captive. My alchemist ended up using foaming powder to turn her into something solid so we could take her on board our ship. It got kind of messy.

I had a similar problem once with my own druid when he was wildshaped into an air elemental, 60 feet in the air, and was knocked unconscious. How does one get air down?

Sczarni 5/5 Venture-Lieutenant, Washington—Pullman aka Coraith

Borel Bloodbraid wrote:
Walter Sheppard wrote:

"PROTECTION? WHAT PROTECTION!? ARMOR IS FOR COWARDS!"

Rukk proceeds to explain the proud stories behind his many, many scars

You just got to love that AC of -1 on a charge. It's like having a cantrip-level cloak of displacement. Since natural 1s always miss, I have a permanent 5% miss chance, even with a negative AC!

The looks you get from the dancy little piles of AC when you're getting hit on less than 10 are always heartwarming.

Mistmail makes that miss chance (slightly) more reliable. Unless its windy.

As an added bonus to having a single digit AC is that some DMs just assume rolls less than say, 12 always miss and don't even mention the attacks.

It's okay. Rukk has something like 175+ effective hit points.

4/5

I need to start dropping magic circle against evil on Rukk so he can only get dominated by non-evil ladies...

Shadow Lodge 5/5 5/5 Regional Venture-Coordinator, Northwest aka WalterGM

Steven Huffstutler wrote:
Borel Bloodbraid wrote:
Walter Sheppard wrote:

"PROTECTION? WHAT PROTECTION!? ARMOR IS FOR COWARDS!"

Rukk proceeds to explain the proud stories behind his many, many scars

You just got to love that AC of -1 on a charge. It's like having a cantrip-level cloak of displacement. Since natural 1s always miss, I have a permanent 5% miss chance, even with a negative AC!

The looks you get from the dancy little piles of AC when you're getting hit on less than 10 are always heartwarming.

Mistmail makes that miss chance (slightly) more reliable. Unless its windy.

As an added bonus to having a single digit AC is that some DMs just assume rolls less than say, 12 always miss and don't even mention the attacks.

It's okay. Rukk has something like 175+ effective hit points.

I really need to stop playing for no credit and get to level 9.

5/5

You know these dominate stories would be a lot less amusing if GM's started to remember that Dominate Person/Monster has a 1 round casting time and that trying to cast them after initiative has been rolled is very likely to end up with 4' of steel through your innards instead of a fancy new loincloth wearing minion.


andreww wrote:
You know these dominate stories would be a lot less amusing if GM's started to remember that Dominate Person/Monster has a 1 round casting time and that trying to cast them after initiative has been rolled is very likely to end up with 4' of steel through your innards instead of a fancy new loincloth wearing minion.

This (plus sleep).

Dark Archive

Monk pinned an owlbear and beat the crap out of it.


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The Morphling wrote:

Making our way through the heavily trapped dungeon (without a rogue or any other trapfinder), my paladin exhaustively checked the door before him for traps, taking 20 to ensure nothing would be missed, and receiving aid from a companion just to be sure. Satisfied that the door was completely safe, he opened the door, stepped through into the pit trap on the other side, fell 70 feet (at second level) and wound up at -12 and dying at the bottom, two points from death. He failed two stabilization checks, then stabilized at -13 while the party looked for a rope.

He allowed the dwarf barbarian to take point after that...

I remember that! Korr got SUCH a laugh out of it.

(Party spends several actions obsessively checking the door for traps.)

GM: Guys, I swear, the door is NOT trapped! Can we move on, please?

(Rogue gives the all clear. Paladin opens the door and walks through.)

GM: Make a reflex save. Morphling rolls

Paladin: Aaaaiiiieeeeeeeeeee!!!! Splat.

(Party heals the barely alive Paladin and throws him a rope.)

(Korr the Dwarven Barbarian, after arguing with the Paladin off and on throughout the adventure over who should be first in a room, walks up to the edge of the pit just as the bruised and battered Paladin reaches the top of his climb.)

Korr: Hey there, princess. Maybe I should be the one to go first from here on out, eh?

(Paladin glares as the Barbarian walks off chuckling.)

Group spends several minutes thoroughly heckling the GM for the "not trapped" door.


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Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

From my experience most PFS sessions end up with at least one TPCU (Total Party Crack Up), two recent favorites are:

Glass River Rescue:

One PC has already used their animal companion to great effect earlier in the scenario to bull rush a guy off the side of a ship, so uses the same technique against the big bad at the end. Then we realised the big bad was leaning against a well.

So once the big bad was at the bottom of the well, someone cut the rope on the bucket, which swiftly fell to the bottom of the well & knocked big bad out.

Port Godless

While standing at the dog tracks, the Summoner asked the following question,

"Can I enter my Eidolon?"

My Character's reply was

"well I'm sure you could, but it's not really appropriate out here in public. You should probably wait until you're alone together."

Poor Dave (running the Summoner) blinked a few times, blushed, and said "I meant enter into the races…"


An enemy caster losing a fight in a dungeon decided discretion to be the better part of valor, and dimension doored to escape the PCs.

Unfortunately for him the PCs realized there was only really one place within probable range where the caster could have gone to. After the party hurriedly casted a couple of movement boosting spells on an already fast monk, he took off at an improbable run speed to intercept the fleeing caster.

The caster came out of his post-transport disorientation just in time to see an enormous palm smacking him in the face, and failed his save against the stunning fist. By the time the rest of the party caught up, the caster was beaten senseless and tied up like a holiday turkey.

-j

Grand Lodge 4/5 5/55/5 Venture-Lieutenant, Florida—Melbourne aka trollbill

Poor Tomasz Kosta:

Spoilers for The Cultist's Kiss:

Spoiler:
I recently ran The Cultists Kiss at our local game store. The party was in the asylum looking to get information from Tomasz Kosta. The party cleric does a heal check to help Tomasz with his eyes while the sorcerer casts infernal healing on him help with any damage from the operation. Now, the party has an Oracle who worships a god of execution and is always looking for an excuse, any excuse, to "execute evil." So he does his usual trick of casting detect evil to see if Tomasz is worthy of execution. Tomasz is Chaotic Neutral. But, of course, the sorcerer had just cast infernal healing on him so he did, indeed, detect as evil. And no one, including the sorcerer who cast the spell, clued to this. The Oracle then begins debating if he should 'execute' Tomasz while I inwardly chuckled at whether or not the Oracle was going to need an atonement at the end of this. But they need information from Tomasz and he hasn't done anything outwardly evil, so he decides to hold off the execution.

Tomasz, however, won't give up the information the PCs want unless they free him from the asylum. But none of the PCs want to let an 'evil,' deranged, dampyre loose on the streets. So the sorcerer hatches a plan. He casts rope trick and everyone climbs up into the extra-dimensional space. Combining Tomasz's ignorance of the outside world with the sorcerer's phenomenal bluff check, the party convinces Tomasz that they have freed him from the asylum. Having gotten the information from him, they leave him there until the spell eventually wears off and drops poor Tomasz Kosta right back in his cell.

Grand Lodge 4/5 Premier Event Coordinator

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Shades of Ice I:

Running this a few years back at a regional con, the group entered the bar looking for Hjort Fastaxe and were surprised to find him just sitting there at the bar having a drink. They were sooo surprised at their luck, they didn't seem to have a plan of action. So the player with the child-like halfling just casually walked up to him and screamed, "DADDY!"
I was sooo floored by the action, I had to call a 5-minute table break to gather my thoughts on how to proceed. Hilarious moment and one I will never forget.

Silver Crusade

I'm 3 tables at an upcoming convention and I can't wait for whatever hijinx might ensue. I'm running The Confirmation twice and Glass River Rescue once. I haven't played GRR, but I know there are some places in The Confirmation where some funny stuff can happen.

Sovereign Court 5/5 RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32, 2010 Top 8

Kind of Meta but funny.

Watching the two (newish) Andoran players tying themselves in knots justifying stuff in a certain kidnapping scenario.

My inner Taldan and the other player's Chel were laughing.

Grand Lodge

Tide of Twilight:
The halfling ninja Jahwayne pulled out a butterfly net and caught the fencing fairy thing.

Player: I take out my butterfly net.
GM: You have a butterfly net? Let me see your character sheet. (On sheet)
Player:Giggling
GM: Why the hell do you have a butterfly net.
Player: Seemed like something a halfling ninja would have.
GM: Fair enough. The rules say reward creativity.

I was the GM in question, and my friend and coworker was the ninja.


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Players are standing on the side of a ruined tower when they hear something on the other side of the door. The fighter looks through his inventory and finds he has a net, and the paladin finds he has an anvil. There is a gaping hole in the tower wall no more than ten feet behind them and lots of ruined bricks and rubble. They set up the net trap so it drags whatever is in the other room out the tower down a thirty foot drop. They open the door and hit the imprisoned pathfinder bard on the other side. The poor sod falls thirty feet and would have survived... if the paladin didn't also rig his anvil to fall on the target. After a moment of stunned silence, they all vowed never to speak of the incident to their venture captains.

Sovereign Court 5/5 RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32, 2010 Top 8

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Oh comment from Sunday.

"We need Dwarven Ninja! Strong, Stocky, Silent! Hwah! I am the stone!"

Said in my gravelly Kodiak voice.


My half orc rage prophet is prone to cheerfully exclaim "Ah! Have you come to receive the blessings of Gorum?" to prospective opponents.

While hefting his earthbreaker.

-j

Grand Lodge 4/5

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber
Matthew Morris wrote:

Oh comment from Sunday.

"We need Dwarven Ninja! Strong, Stocky, Silent! Hwah! I am the stone!"

Said in my gravelly Kodiak voice.

LoL! You should put that on a T-Shirt.

Grand Lodge 5/5 Venture-Captain, Arizona—Phoenix aka TriOmegaZero

Jonathan Cary wrote:
LoL! You should put that on a T-Shirt.

I'd rock it with my dwarven monk.

5/5 Venture-Lieutenant, Finland—Tampere aka Rei

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Today while playing a scenario, we had a combat where all characters started out unarmed... sort of. Four characters had bite attacks, three of them used them (one to much greater effect than the other two). The NPC we were rescuing had a very interesting time when she came to and realized three of her rescuers were wiping blood off their faces and there were four unconscious bleeding humanoids around her.

Shadow Lodge 4/5

Rei wrote:
Today while playing a scenario, we had a combat where all characters started out unarmed... sort of. Four characters had bite attacks, three of them used them (one to much greater effect than the other two). The NPC we were rescuing had a very interesting time when she came to and realized three of her rescuers were wiping blood off their faces and there were four unconscious bleeding humanoids around her.

That scenario sure showed us the vagaries of playing up.

Part 1: Eat lunch
Part 2: Eat face
Part 3: Eat dirt

But hey, more troops for the Risen Guard!

2/5

Pathfinder Starfinder Society Subscriber
Rei wrote:
Today while playing a scenario, we had a combat where all characters started out unarmed... sort of. Four characters had bite attacks, three of them used them (one to much greater effect than the other two). The NPC we were rescuing had a very interesting time when she came to and realized three of her rescuers were wiping blood off their faces and there were four unconscious bleeding humanoids around her.

It was even more awesome because the face-eating happened pretty much right after the very non-frugal dinner.

Grand Lodge 5/5 Venture-Captain, Arizona—Phoenix aka TriOmegaZero

I think I know that scenario.

4/5

Captain Kuro wrote:
Players are standing on the side of a ruined tower when they hear something on the other side of the door. The fighter looks through his inventory and finds he has a net, and the paladin finds he has an anvil. There is a gaping hole in the tower wall no more than ten feet behind them and lots of ruined bricks and rubble. They set up the net trap so it drags whatever is in the other room out the tower down a thirty foot drop. They open the door and hit the imprisoned pathfinder bard on the other side. The poor sod falls thirty feet and would have survived... if the paladin didn't also rig his anvil to fall on the target. After a moment of stunned silence, they all vowed never to speak of the incident to their venture captains.

This cracked me up.

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