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404.Daybreak: About a vampire who has a sudden rush of humanity and falls in love with a non-descript, drab, human girl... for some reason. At the end of the book he's hunted down and steaked by a vampire hunter and the girl is burned at the steak for consorting with the dark powers.
Mmmmm, who knew vampires were so...beefy? XD
And now for something completely different.
425. Sovyrian's Cowardice: A scathing tirade against the elven people for their retreat from Golarion in response to Earthfall. The author makes grandiose statements with little supporting evidence that the elves could have prevented the loss of science, art, architecture and magical theory during the Age of Darkness by returning from Sovyrian earlier and uplifting humanity, with little consideration for whether or not the elves COULD return. The author concludes with the suspicion that if the elves have avoided the destruction of civilization with Earthfall by retreating to Sovyrian, they have magical and technological secrets and marvels that they are deliberately withholding from Golarion's peoples. Most people regard this work as racist drivel.
235. The Leopard, the Warlock and the Armoire.
This delightful children's book should be familiar to most literate folk of Golarion. The story is of a family of children who discover a magical armoire that speaks to the youngest sibling and tells her that it contains a portal to a wondrous other world of adventure. The amoire urges her to gather her brothers and sister in order that they make the journey together and meet the fantastic residents of the world beyond its door.
The children gather about the amoire and are told that they will meet a a heroic talking leopard who needs their help to defeat an evil warlock. The siblings then rush headlong through the open doorway and into the gullet of the clever mimic.
I work in the lab at a my city's hospital and was reading this thread on break. This entry made me burst out laughing so hard I had the giggles for 20 minutes and had real difficulty answering our phone when I went back to work.
My fellow workers though I was going insane....just snickering to myself. If I get written up I will tell them to contact Bill Lumberg for an explanation!
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413. The Summoner's Guide to Summoning: This book is a thousand-page guidebook to all things summoning, from tips to drawing a summoning circle, to tips on haggling with outsiders on contracts, and even how to bind your dead friend to an outsider so you can bring him back to life without paying a cleric. Reading it gives a +2 insight bonus on caster level and charisma checks relating to summoning.420. The summon's guide to summoners. A book wrote by a Efrit that decided he was tired of dealing with summoners. Has useful tips for getting out of deals made while under the effect of a gate spell.
428. The Summoner's Guide to Deals. This book contains a hugely detailed guide on how to make a planar contract airtight. It is a required read in the Golarion Law School. Reading it gives a +3 bonus to Perception and Sense Motive checks to realize that the summon is trying to get out of a deal.
413. The Summoner's Guide to Summoning: This book is a thousand-page guidebook to all things summoning, from tips to drawing a summoning circle, to tips on haggling with outsiders on contracts, and even how to bind your dead friend to an outsider so you can bring him back to life without paying a cleric. Reading it gives a +2 insight bonus on caster level and charisma checks relating to summoning.
As it so happens, my love of books in rpg's stems from The Lost Caverns of Tsojcanth and Iggwilv's stash of spellbooks, particularly her Demonomicon. The idea of finding some tome of terrible, terrible knowledge that somehow explained EVERYTHING that went on in the dungeon and local history really sparked my imagination at a young age.
Edit: Aaaaand...I just learned that our own James Jacobs had a hand in writing the expanded Demonomicon for Dragon Magazine. Small world sometimes, this gaming.
Demonomicon of Iggwilv
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430: Victory's Secret Field Guide to Women's Armor.
The cover of this work sports a red-haired women in a chain-mail bikini posing in a way that will never aid in combat. This rather skimpy piece of literature is composed of glossy pages that feature various females of the Core races (an a disturbingly attractive Tengu) modelling the latest fashions. Stats on each piece of armor indicate they actually make you easier to hit.
Any female reading this work must make a DC 14 Will save or feel self-conscious about her body for one hour (same affect as shaken). Any male reading it must make a DC 14 Will save or come the false conclusion that his wife or significant other would appreciate several pieces as a gift.
431. You Kill It, We Tell You How to Grill It
This book contains butchering and cleaning instructions for many monstrous and not so monstrous creatures. It also has precautions for dealing with poisonous and toxic meats. This book gives a +2 bonus to survival (food gathering), or any food preparation or cooking skill having to do with meat. (It won't help you bake a cake.)
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432. Never Cry Elf: Yarflo Tamwe's Definitive Book of Elves
This inch thick field guide, laden with excellent penmanship and detailed artwork, sports a green cover made of supple tree bark and rich with mithril inlays. It one of the many works of the insane Gnomish Ranger Yarflo Tamwe who arrived in Golarian knowing nothing of any other race. He decided that disguising himself as an elf and infiltrating one of their colonies for six months would be a good idea.
The elves he met were actually dwarves and spent most of their time giving the gnome as much false information as possible. As a result most of the book is at best glaringly wrong and sometimes blatently insulting to elves.
Some entries include: "When cornered, an elf can spray a musky discharge that is produced in the sweat glands under its dewflap" and "The elf's only natural enemy are sentient beings named Garry."
Along with the title the mithril inlays on the cover spell elven runes that roughly translate as “Say hi to your mother for me.” Any person reading the book suffers a -10 penalty to any Intelligence or Charisma based checks that involve elves in any manner. This penalty is in effect until they are physically struck by an actual elf or attend an elf awareness seminar.
433. My Name is Raknar Orcshredder and I'm an Alcoholic
Despite being made completely of iron the cover of this 40 page book is both stained and dog-earred. Its thick spine bears crusted blood on the edges and can be unfolded to function as a bottle opener, corkscrew, or keg tapper (hose not included). It radiates faint magic and weighs 10 pounds.
The book is an enthusiastic commentary of the prowess of the dwarven race on consuming vast quantities of alcohol with no detriment whatsoever. The last chapter is a short summation of Raknar's death due to massive organ failure.
If carried on person the book provides the bearer with a +4 to Fortitude saves vs. drunkness but a -4 to Will saves to stop drinking. As well, any shirt or outer tunic worn now has the words "I Drink To Make Other Races Interesting" printed in large dwarven runes.
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434. Travel the Trebuchet Way
Radiating faint magic, this double-sided pamphlet is printed on the finest angelskin and edged with iron wood interwoven with Elysian Bronze. It is written in gnomish and shows excellent grammer and any drawings actually move if the reader looks directly at them.
Despite its beautiful appearance the contents of this flyer read like a rants of a madman. It extolls the virtures of Trittle's Trebuchet and Trampoline Emporium that existed some 200 years ago. Trittle was a gnomish inventor of great brilliance and pure insanity who attempted to create a new transit system in Magnimar using trebuchets and strategically located trampolines. It was halted after only 37 deaths (including Trittle himself).
Any reader of this brochure must make a DC 16 Will save or be completely overwhelmed by the urge to recreate Trittle's dreadful project. A new save is allowed every 24 hours but the DM should calculate how long until a working Trebuchet/Trampoline system is actually built....and its chance of success.
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435. Grippli's Believe It or Not
This slimy work is constructed out of fronds, reeds, and a disgusting amount of mucol ooze. It has no material value but radiates a moderate level of magic along with a swampy odor.
The author was a Grippli Druid named Kerm who was determined to make his people the dominant race in Golarian. After making pacts with numerous demons, demi-gods, and a mating with a talking pig he succeeded in creating this detailed encyclopedia of Grippli biology, heroic deeds, and notable individuals: it is 8 pages long.
Any non-Grippli reading this book must make a DC 16 Will save or suffer under a Geas(Lesser). The indvidual will make all effort to advance the cause of the Grippli race in a manner they deem most effective. Any Grippli reading it suffers under a Gaes/Quest to assemble a singing/dancing/acting troupe of every race possible and put on a weekly variety show.
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Nice touch making MP a female type 3 demon. Any tips on training a Quaggoth to tell bad jokes and attract hecklers. :)
439. Seven Degrees Is Just Cold Out
The frost giant jarl Sroalkot the Unsatisfied's overly long treatise on the disadvantages of living in sub-freezing temperatures. The highlights of the book are surprisingly artisitc descriptions of arctic landscapes and the cratures that dwell there. However, the majority of the book consists of rambling diatribes about frozen food, cold latrines, thin furs, blankets, and clothing, and descriptions of over 350 different types of snow.
440. Who Builds These Things?
The adventuring bard Kev Obreen wrote this descriptive text on the many dungeon complexes he visited while adventuring, and a pschological evaluation of the motivations of those that constructed those same complexes. Highlights include a dark elf city, a dwarven fortress, a jungle city built by serpent folk, and an unnamed city, in an unknown location, built by creatures only described as amorphous.
442. A Native's Guide to Woodcarving. A small book that easily slips into a pocket, this is a field guide to the best uses of native trees within one terrain (choose from among those on the ranger's favored terrain list, excluding illogical choices). The reader learns what wood is best for what uses, giving him a +2 circumstance bonus on any Craft checks involving mostly wooden objects and reducing the time required by one quarter.
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443. I Hate Everyone But I Hate You the Most
This rather heavy tome seems to be composed of various other books whose pages have been violently erased, mended, and then bound together to create a ugly Frankenstein of a book. It radiates moderate magic and smells of old garbage, worms, and depressing anger.
It was written recently by the famous Ranger Oscar Crouch who was famous due to the fact that every creature/monster/person in the world was his species enemy. The contents are written in small, tight handwriting and each word pressed very deeply into the thick pages.
Any Ranger who reads the entire 200 pages receives the ability to changes his speciens enemy(ies) at the start of each day to whatever he chooses. He must also make a DC 14 Fortitude whenever he uses this abiltity or lose 2 points of Charisma for 24 hours.
444. Know when to fold'em.......
This small work is comprised simply of 9 thin sheets of fine vellum each a different and beautiful color. The 10th (and thicker) sheet contains simple instructions of how to fold each sheet into a variety of creatures; somehow, all the text fits legibly in the confined space.
It radiates strong magic.
Written by the Master Summoner Rogny Keners each page is numbered 1 to 9 in order. A person can take a full-round action to fold any sheet into an animal registered in the Summon Monster list. Page number 1 is only for 1st level, page number 2 is for only second level, and so forth. The folder must succed on a Reflex save of increasing DC for increased monster power.
1st: DC 14
2nd: DC 16
3rd: DC 18
and so on until the 9th level is DC 30. All creatures summoned are complete with Augmented Summoning and remain for 20 minutes or until destroyed.
Whether the folding is successful or not, the page used is lost.
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445. Lineages of the Empire, VanTrap
Foreward: "Commissioned by the Duke Arctribald Thero VanTrap IX, Third in line to the throne. His Royalness was gracious enough to regale this writer of all the glorious deeds that must be credited to this most prestigious of families in the kingdom as documented by the most humble Bard Polimus, thankful to be so honored by this responsibility."
It is indeed a thoroughly researched book with sketches, dates and accomplishments for the whole of the line. It is written in such a pompous way, it is clear the Duke oversaw every word written. No hint of scandal ever graced this family. They could do no wrong.
If detected for: a slight dweomer of an arcane mark "Truth" becomes visible. While holding the book and stating "Truth", the text changes to reveal scandal, corruption and ineptitude as well as the sketches become more lifelike displaying physical flaws, vacant stares and overt cruelty. Near the end of the "revealed" book, is a geographic map of all the holdings for this family with a rather detailed drawing of the family castle, seasonal mansions and the estate at the center of the kingdom. The final word "No one cheats Polimus and gets away with it."
444. Know when to fold'em.......
This small work is comprised simply of 9 thin sheets of fine vellum each a different and beautiful color. The 10th (and thicker) sheet contains simple instructions of how to fold each sheet into a variety of creatures; somehow, all the text fits legibly in the confined space.
It radiates strong magic.Written by the Master Summoner Rogny Keners each page is numbered 1 to 9 in order. A person can take a full-round action to fold any sheet into an animal registered in the Summon Monster list. Page number 1 is only for 1st level, page number 2 is for only second level, and so forth. The folder must succed on a Reflex save of increasing DC for increased monster power.
1st: DC 14
2nd: DC 16
3rd: DC 18and so on until the 9th level is DC 30. All creatures summoned are complete with Augmented Summoning and remain for 20 minutes or until destroyed. Failure on the folding (a failed Reflex save) means the monster is still summoned but instead of being under your control it attacks YOU with reckless abandon.
Whether the folding is successful or not, the page used is lost.
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446. A Child's Guide to the Planes. This is a colorful pop-up book. Contained therein is the story of a little girl who leaves home to explore the planes and meets the gods as she goes from one plane to the next. Scrutiny of the images reveals the potential locations of planar gates between realms, all seeming to be innocuous cartoons. A planar traveler gains a +2 to Knowledge checks for the purposes of locating these gates if consulting the book.
dot
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447. Entombed and Exhumed (vol one): Personal Accounts of Premature Burials, Compiled and Edited by Demahn D'rosien
This first slim volume is a collection of first person narratives and interviews with people who had been buried or entombed alive and how they escaped their confinement. Naturally, they are somewhat disturbing stories, but anyone who studies it for 10 hours gains a +1 bonus to escape from rock slides and premature burial. It is bound in black leather with delicate silver lettering of the title along the front cover and spine.
448. Entombed and Exhumed (vol two): Personal Accounts of Resurrection, Complied and Edited by Demahn D'rosien
This slightly larger second volume is a collection of first person narratives and interviews with creatures that were laid to rest and later raised from the dead. The bulk of the accounts are confused stories about the afterlife, mostly dealing with the endless tedium of waiting in line to be judged. A handful of the authors go into greater detail about their reward or punishment, but the accounts of those are even further confused and provide almost no factual information other than Damnation is No Fun. The final account is an interview with a dog who reincarnated as an Elf. Few elves credit it a real interview, but it is undeniably funny. Anyone who studies this tome for 20 hours gains a +1 on Knowledge (Planes) and Knowledge (Religion) specifically relating to The Boneyard and its inhabitants. It is bound the same as the first volume.
449. Entombed and Exhumed (vol three): Personal Accounts of Rising from the Grave, Complied and Edited by Demahn D'rosien
The final volume in the series was never delivered to the printer and exists only as a single massive manuscript. Much like the former volumes, it is a collection of interviews and first person narratives, but this one was of those who had died and rose as undead. These macabre accounts include those of three vampires, two liches, several ghouls and and ghasts, twin attic whisperers, assorted lesser known undead, and a telepathically interviewed zombie who gave an oddly compelling account of herself. The compiler, Demahn D'rosien, vanished while seeking out members of The Whispering Way who claimed to be able get an exclusive interview with the Whispering Tyrant himself. Anyone who manages to find this manuscript and spends 100 cumulative hours studying it gets a +2 on all Knowledge (Religion) checks involving undead and +2 on Diplomacy checks with intelligent undead.
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450. The Impressive Books of Importance, (vol 1-20), by Ronold Burgundian
This set of handsome leather bound books smells of rich mahogany and looks very impressive. The books themselves have no actual content with the exception of a potent curse. Any person who comes into possession of a volume must make a Will Save DC 10 + number of volumes owned or become completely self obsessed and desire to own all twenty volumes. Curse victims let everyone know that they are kind of a big deal and their opinions are more valid and correct than those held by others. When all twenty volumes come into the possession of the afflicted, they must make a Will Save DC 30 or choke to death on their own smug sense of self satisfaction, a condition that prevents the victim from being raised by any means other than wish or miracle.
Doting
455. The Frame, (also known as The Litran Manuscript or The Shifting Manuscript)
This massive, well-worn, bound manuscript was first found in the possession of an unknown wizard executed in Litran during one of Galt's bloodier purges. The book has no official title and no author is named; consequently is has been called a half dozen different titles, but it is most commonly known as The Frame, as it is a frame story of byzantine complexity. The manuscript has a number of extraordinary traits, the most obvious of which is that it is never the same book when read by different people. It always begins with a tale of one of the reader's parents, purporting to be an account of their younger years. Each of these parents meets a blind mendicant who tells them a tale of his youth as a soldier searching for adventure, riches, and true love. He describes fleeing from a siege and coming across a cult ritual in the woods nearby, when he is captured by the cultists. He is brought before the group and the high priestess begins to tell the tale of her induction into the mysteries of their obscure god. From there the accounts always diverge, but the story never advances more than 50 pages before another character begins telling a different story without finishing the account of the previous narrator. When the reader reaches the end of the manuscript it shuts itself and reopens to the very first page with a continuation of the story picking up right where it had ended. A few scholars have managed to read more than 30 "volumes" and all of them have stated that the story finally starts completing narratives at volume 24, but none have ever possessed the book long enough to see the finale, presumed to be at volume 46. Aside from the first two stories always being similar, at a random point there is an account of a member of the Abdarian clergy who becomes convinced that Law is a sham created by Chaos. The reasons are never the same, but this heresy is always present in every version known. The reader can never go back and read the previous volumes again which leads all but the most fastidious note takers to give up in frustration. The book radiates no magic, but does possess a mild aura of chaos.
456. The Receding Margin: Interpretations, Accounts, and Theories Concerning The Frame Complied and Edited by the Department of Literature at The Quarterfaux Archives
Those who aren't lucky enough to run across The Frame in the course of their lives are informed of its existence by this hardcover book published by the Quarterfaux Archives Press of Caliphas. It is a compilation of work on The Frame, including brief descriptions of each volumes content as it appeared to various reader. The editors attempt to draw rather dubious conclusions about the nature of the book from these disparate accounts, but even they admit that their conclusions aren't particularly elucidating or comprehensive. One of the more interesting sections of the book is an account of a bard who traveled the Inner Sea region attempting to learn if events in the book actually occurred. She could not find hard evidence of most of the events in her version of the book, but she did learn that the Abdarian heresy written of is real and causes a great deal of shame to the clergy that are aware of it. Not shockingly, those clergy members were not willing to explain the nature of the heresy to an outsider and nothing more was learned on the subject.
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457: Blank spell book. This hardbacked, embossed cover simply states Property of the blind wizard. Return for reward. Opening the book, not one of the stained, finger-smudged pages contain any visible script. Arcane Sight, Identify, Detect Magic indicate glamour magic, with the stronger spells providing command words to activate the magic mouth for each page. What is not provided by these spells but assumed is the requirement to cast Read Magic/per spell to interpret the magic mouth, otherwise it recites gibberish or choice insults in a variety of languages.
Spell selection reflects touch or area effect preferences.
458. Lord Percy the Alchemist's Secret to Green
This is shabby looking book features a stained brown cover and an unpleasant, acrid, smell. The majority of the book is taken up by Lord Percy's treatise on his attempt to find the secret of turning lead into green and thereby amassing limitless wealth. The text rambles and often seems to contradicts itself. An astute reader will realize that the vagaries of the commodities markets make all speculation into green futures a risky proposition, at best.
The last chapter of the book contains badly-composed love poems to a Lady Jane Harrington.
I think Lord Percy is suffering from mercury poisoning.
459. How To Fly
This large tome is 3 inches thick, 9 inches wide, and a foot tall. It contains the spells levitate and fly. It also tells how to change the spells so they affect unattended objects, 100 lbs per level, and apply permanency, 100 GP per lb. By casting the spells you can take control of the permanently cast spell on an object if the original caster is no longer present. All this and more is in this tome. This tome is also permanently levitated to act weightless. If you let it go it floats.
464. Bedtime Stories
This book is an exceedingly dull treatise on the behaviour of hibernating Arctic snakes, but just to make sure: every third page has a Sepia Snake Sigil cast on it.
457) Do Treants get Morning Wood? 4th Edition
An worn, old, out-of-print treatise on Treant sexuality, behavior and courtship. After reading the book over 6 hours, a PC gains a +2 to Diplomacy and Knowledge (Nature) checks regarding Treants. It contains lots of original art and cites it's sources. Most of the source documents are out of print. For the right collector this book is worth 100 gp.
((Has anyone compiled this list into a pdf or word document? A great list for randomly rolling bookshelf or library treasure contents.))
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468) The Likes Of Which You Have Never Seen
Unknown author. This small, pocket sized, tan hard covered book lists the word "Like" in every single language possible. Even ones that no one knew existed.
469) 10 Steps to Summoning the Best Thing Ever
Unknown author. The tone of the book is overall quite cheery, making the steps to summon the "best thing ever" extremely easy to understand, drawn pictures and everything. The reader of the book must make a will save against a DC of 20 (illusory script) or enact the ritual necessary to summon the "best thing ever", which turns out to be an random elder god.
470) Decisions, Decisions
Written by Steve the Seer. This large, hard covered, leather back tome is filled with pages that have numerous sentences made up of long underlines followed by a question mark at the end, with a small box just after the question mark. The first three fourths of the book have been written on, each underline with a question written on it, asking about a decision that needs to be made. A straight forward green yes or red no filled in the box after the written question. The book acts as the augury spell, except questions must be written so that it can be answered with a simple yes or no.
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Apologies if one of these has been written before. I haven't looked through all of the pages.
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471) The Holy Texts in Volumes
One shelf of the library is devoted to holy texts. Each book on the shelf is a compilation of the teachings, parables, and doctrine of a different deity in the pantheon, bound in simple leather and with the deity's holy symbol embossed on the cover. A few of the books are dedicated to obscure deities that the PCs may never have even heard of. All the books appear to be part of one work with multiple volumes, but no author or editor is named.
Spending 2d10 minutes consulting the volumes grants the reader a +4 circumstance bonus on any Knowledge: Religion check. This time is reduced to 1d4 minutes if the reader already knows which deity's volume contains the relevant information.
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472) Horton Hears a GOO
The adventures of an awakened Mammoth on the Plateau of Leng.