100 Books Found in the Strange Library


Homebrew and House Rules

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Tiny Coffee Golem wrote:
Atarlost wrote:
Byrdology wrote:
188- the complete, unabridged works of Michael Moore with running commentary by Glen Beck...

I think we were looking for things that would be found in a library in Golarion during the epoch the APs are set in or in a world with a similar level of technology and magic, not something you'd find in a library in PF:modern.

Most, if not all, of Michael Moore's works cannot be viewed without a DVD player or VCR and television set and those are awfully thin on the ground in Golarion and similar fantasy universes even if such a work might fall through a dimensional rift.

Plus I'm pretty sure Glen Beck can't read.

OOOHHHHH! BURN!


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Set wrote:

186. Along Came a Spider This 40 page book has wooden covers with twigs along the outer edges shaped like spider's legs, clutching the book shut. The pages have a smooth cloth-like texture and are made of spider silk, while the glittering colorful ink is made of powdered beetle-shells and spider's venom (long past its time of efficacy, although eating the entire book would make one nauseous...). The story, accompanied by several stylized full page illustrations, and a spider on every page of text, in different places, is a macabre tale, written as if for children, about a spider living in a manor house, who is bedeviled by a house servant who keeps brushing away her webs and attempting to kill her. By the end of the story, she has bitten the offending servant, who dies of her venom. The letters of the text, written in the common tongue, are in a strange style, with long strokes, so that the letters themselves look like twitching spider's legs, and the book has a faint glimmer of conjuration magic. If held in hand and used as a focus component during the casting of summon swarm, summon monster or summon nature's ally, and the spell is used to summon a spider swarm or giant spider, the spell lasts for an additional round, and, in the case of a summoned swarm, the swarm does not attack the caster, so long as he retains hold of the tome, allowing him to pass freely through the area of the swarm. The tome provides no such protection against spider swarms conjured by others or encountered normally...

This book is one in a series of grim children's stories set from the perspective of the same spider, who goes on to kill a pesky child in the house, a visiting mother-in-law, and, finally, the owners of the manor. The writer is either an aranea or an unusually intelligent (and quirky) phase spider, who enjoys writing horrifying children's stories.

Was the author's name Boris, perhaps?

Dark Archive

Vod Canockers wrote:
Was the author's name Boris, perhaps?

That reference eludes me. I was going for a creepy Grimm's fairy tales version of Charlotte's Web written by a creature that splits its time between writing creepy children's stories and eating humanoid children.


Boris the Spider. a song by The Who. apocryphally drugs were part of the creative process.


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Mark Hoover wrote:
Tiny Coffee Golem wrote:
Atarlost wrote:
Byrdology wrote:
188- the complete, unabridged works of Michael Moore with running commentary by Glen Beck...

I think we were looking for things that would be found in a library in Golarion during the epoch the APs are set in or in a world with a similar level of technology and magic, not something you'd find in a library in PF:modern.

Most, if not all, of Michael Moore's works cannot be viewed without a DVD player or VCR and television set and those are awfully thin on the ground in Golarion and similar fantasy universes even if such a work might fall through a dimensional rift.

Plus I'm pretty sure Glen Beck can't read.
OOOHHHHH! BURN!

The literacy rate among current and former news anchors not suffering from severe eye conditions is 100%. The only requirements for the position are looking decorative, not having a horrible voice, and being able to read a teleprompter.

Dark Archive

Ah. If it's not the intro music to a CSI show, I know nothing of The Who's music. :)


Set wrote:
Vod Canockers wrote:
Was the author's name Boris, perhaps?

That reference eludes me. I was going for a creepy Grimm's fairy tales version of Charlotte's Web written by a creature that splits its time between writing creepy children's stories and eating humanoid children.

The Who - Boris the Spider


cnetarian wrote:
Boris the Spider. a song by The Who. apocryphally drugs were part of the creative process.

look who's crawling up my wall...


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189. The joy of Rooking

A shallow tome of unique construction, the book's pages appear to be compressed feathers. The covers are bound in leather died several shades of white and mottled earth tones; there is an eagle's eye gem set in the center of the front cover. What's more, the cover and bindings are textured to have the look and feel of a raptor's plume.

The material covered within is the care and breeding of many times of avians. Featured sporadically throughout the book are a number of pictures of majestic birds either in profile or in flight, in sepia inks. The author, one Talvesc Hawkspringer appears to be quite knowledgeable.

Several angry commentaries however are scrawled amid the marginalia. These speak of the coming revolt, told by an unknown author, who identifies themself only as a "cousin to the imprisoned." The manifesto, pieced together from the scattered notes condemn any and all who read and practice the barbaric act of keeping and training wild birds for sport. It goes on to state the warning of a curse: those who seek to employ the vile Hawkspringer's methods will have "the voice of the crow" until they free a noble bird from captivity.

Using this tome requires 1d4 rounds of reference at which point the user receives a +2 to any Handle Animal or Knowledge check in dealing with natural avians or magical beasts of a generally bird-like nature. However each time it is consulted for such use the reader must roll a DC 14 Fort save; failure means the victim suffers the Croaking spellblight. Their speech is interrupted by involuntary crow caws issuing from their mouths. The curse may be removed in the usual manners or once the afflicted has freed a bird from captivity. Note: the afflicted may not willingly participate in the trapping of a bird for the sole purpose of ridding themselves of the curse by freeing it again.


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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

190. The Epistilary Tome

This heavy tome has 500 pages and an unmarked brown leather cover. The title page of the book is printed "The Eplistilary Tome," with no author name or publishing house mark. Each page of the tome appears to be a one-page, handwritten personal letter. The page opposite to each letter is written in a different hand, and appears to be a response to the previous one.

There appear to be several different correspondences in the book, between different writers. Based on the dates of the letters, there were long gaps between some of the correspondences, may of which were picked up again years later by a different hand.

The last written page of the book is a letter asking why the writer hasn't received a response in so long. It is dated about twenty years in the past. This is followed by about 300 blank pages.

The nature of the various correspondences and the information they provide is left to the GM.

The book radiates moderate magic of the Divination and Transmutation schools.

GM's Notes
This book is one of a pair of magical books. Anything written on a page of one book is instantly copied onto the corresponding page of the other book. This book's mate is currently sitting open in a study in a faraway place, where its owner is still awaiting a reply to his or her last letter, sent years ago to the previous owner of the book.


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Set wrote:

Ah. If it's not the intro music to a CSI show, I know nothing of The Who's music. :)

That, I'm pretty sure, is a crime in 23 countries, and is regarded as an unforgivable sin in 5 religions.

Now, to go listen to their music.

191. Book of Groaning
This 500-page book is nothing but bad pun after bad pun, but the outside cover promises "Humor and Fun on Every Page!". The reader must make a DC 15 Will save every hour for 24 hours after reading the book or start groaning loudly for the whole hour. This can be heard clearly for 300 feet at a DC 0 Perception check.


192 The Inner Mind

This book is 240 pages bound in tanned leather. It radiates a mild aura of divination magic. The contents of the book cover the psychology of humanoids and some aberrations. It is well written and will hold the interest of nearly any reader with an interest in the workings of the mind.

While the book is being read, it reads the mind of the reader. If anyone casts Detect Thoughts on the book after it has been put down then the pages will reveal what the reader was thinking at the time he held the book. More worryingly is that the book will also show the contents of the reader's subconscious mind. Such information as: the reader's true name, a general sense of his class abilities and any significant events that he has experienced in the last seven days will be laid bare to the spellcaster.

If this book is handled with gloves it prevents the book from reading the mind of its reader.

Dark Archive

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Bill Lumberg wrote:
192 The Inner Mind

In Soviet Golarion, book reads you!

Shadow Lodge

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_Cobalt_ wrote:
Set wrote:
Ah. If it's not the intro music to a CSI show, I know nothing of The Who's music. :)
That, I'm pretty sure, is a crime in 23 countries, and is regarded as an unforgivable sin in 5 religions.

WOO! I'M GOIN' TO (someone's) HELL!!

(I do not care for The Who.)


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193. Tommy

This frighteningly real fiction is bound in red, white and blue leather and scribed in poetic verse. It depicts the tale of a young boy who witnesses a horrible liason between his mother and a demon referred to as Uncle Albert at the moment his father dies on a distant battlefield. Henceforth he is afflicted by the triple curses of being mute, blind and deaf.

This infernal epic follows Tommy through a troubled adolesence marked by a psychotic episode inflicted on him by an alchemist and self-styled Acid Queen as well as a brief stint as a prodigy as the wizard of a place referred to as "Pinball." Finally his mind snaps; believing himself a celestial he wills himself back to health only to find his faith misplaced and false.

This revelation comes only after he becomes a false prophet propped up but Uncle Albert. In the end the tale is a wicked tragedy though in Cheliax it is used as an infernal opera and moral tale to remind the populace not to stray from the Law of the Firebrand.

Reading this tale from beginning to end inflicts one of the 3 curses on the wielder (DC 17 Fort save to negate). This curse may only be removed by an 18th level caster or by doing extreme penance for a year and a day.

Alternately the book has a different effect on bards. Any bard who reads this tome for 1 hour each day may add a +6 Competence bonus to any performance once over the next 24 hours. Also they may add the effect of the Lingering Performace feat to one bardic performance (as permitted by the rules of the Performance chosen) once over the next 24 hours.


Poor Boris the Spider. Too much realism? Pesticide sprayed in the corners? Maybe he didn't find enough bugs to eat.


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194. The Big Book of Planes This tome, made out of a strange glossy paper contains full color illustrations of odd giant golems and clockwork creations that can allegedly fly at tremendous speeds. The earliest golems were apparently made by the great Wizard brothers Orville and Wilbur Wright, more complex versions by Cessna, Boeing, Lockheed, and the great General Dynamics, althjough whose army he served in is unknown.

Sovereign Court

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195. How much onyx for the troll?
A necromancer's handbook containing formulas and tables to figure out how much onyx is required to Animate Dead various creatures. This is the gold-lined, human skin parchment limited edition.

The Exchange

196. Changing my destiny, an autobiography

This story is about a hard-knock, ostracized family, whose central character finally has an epiphany which turns his life into one driving goal, establishing his family and him as powerful charismatic leaders surrounded by fawning sycophants. This reads as an alternate history of a nearby metropolis with many similarities. Perceptive readers may pick up on referenced events that have not yet passed but clearly are in the making for their timeline.

Random bonuses/penalties on knowledge(Nobility/History/local)
The family names, influential npcs, events and locations exist but their respective histories are different from the book. The central character appears not to have been born as yet.


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197 Manuel of the Planes

The protagonist of this work is a humble, good-hearted slave who toils ceaselessly for an insanely tyrannical master. A recurring theme of the book is that the master pursues poor Manuel throughout various planes of existence, which are represented in the form of a tower. The master demands that Manuel perform inhumanly difficult tasks and simultaneously demands answers from him. This despite the fact that poor Manuel knows nothing.


Dot

Sovereign Court

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198. Fifty Shapes of Gray a torrid romance novel about two druids who have wild animal sex in fifty different shapes. The novel is credited with quadrupling the number of new druid trainees since its publication.


199. Sexual Characteristica of the Gelatinous Cube and Other Oozes
This tome is a twelve-hundred page, five inches thick book bound with a cover of glass panes and steel pages, often marred by various splotches of unidentifiable substances, is an excessively comprehensive look at ooze biology, specifically reproduction and social interaction. Written by an unknown, generally seen as demented, academically-minded druid a good while ago, this book's central tenet is that oozes are generally thought to be mindless simply because they perceive time very differently to other creatures. With a slower subjective time rate, they rarely react to stimuli, and thus their reactions are not evaluated. Meticulous observation under months at a time has lead the author to conclude that oozes are actually very social creatures. Specifically, while they do split when hit by sharp objects, can transform organic matter into more of their substance, and can spontaneously divide when flowing against something, they do also produce spores and have some sort of sexual interaction with each other. The exact type of ooze does not in truth seem to matter much, since various blends with different characteristics are what emerge. The author draws the conclusion from this that the original oozes are green slime, gray oozes and gelatinous cubes, with all others blends of these and other second-generation blends. The book is seen as an example of pseudoscientific gobbledigook, but contains enough information to provide a +4 circumstance bonus to Knowledge checks on oozes. Reading the thing takes several weeks at least. The book ends with the author deciding to wild shape into a gelatinous cube.


200. Great Halfling Inventions
This tome is made from several other tomes, and stitched together like a frankensteinsmonster.
The first part off the book has several old Grandma took’s homebrew recipes for apfelstrudel and spiced boar ribs.
The second part are 5 pages torn out of someone spellbook, and stitched onto the recopies of old grandma took. This is the arcane eyes spell.
Then the book it stitched into a part where there are orcish recipes for making soup from Halfling meat, and a slow roast casserole of Halfling meat.
Stitched on some of the pages are part of a spellbook this contains the spell major creation.
The last part is carefull research, written in blue pearl ink known as a special ink only used by blue wizards. This is the research for special spell.
The Celman’s Charm of the Halfling
Enchantment (Charm) [Mind-Affecting]
Level:Brd 1, Sor/Wiz 2
Components:V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range:Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Target:One halfling
Duration:1 day/level
Saving Throw:Will negates
Spell Resistance:Yes
This charm makes a Halfling regard you as its trusted friend and ally (treat the target’s attitude as friendly). Halfling gain a -2 Will save vs this spell.
The spell does not enable you to control the charmed halfling as if it were an automaton, but it perceives your words and actions in the most favorable way. You can try to give the subject orders, but you must win an opposed Charisma check to convince it to do anything it wouldn’t ordinarily do. (Retries are not allowed.) An affected creature CAN obeys suicidal or obviously harmful orders.

This book was a gift from the blue wizard Angwantibo to a halfling wizard as a way of making him jump thru hoops


201. 'Cooking with Slime Molds' a treatise of useful recipes and preparations for all those fungus, oozes and slimes found in the underdark, including such family favorites as:

Sauteed Shrieker and Capers
Violet Fungus Risotto
Asparagus and Brown Mold Puff Pastry Pie
Bacon-stuffed Phantom Fungus
Beef and Myconid Stroganoff
Spinache and Green Slime Quiche
Gelatinous Cube Mousse

Dark Archive

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202. Conspiracy Theories of Golarion. This book has dozens of chapters, some only a single sentence, on its own page, others taking up forty pages and including maps and diagrams of how various structures have secret mathematical meanings, or how certain battles occur at precise geographical points and on specific dates to channel the energies of death to unlock a series of gates that will free Tar-Baphon or call down Cthulhu or raise Azlant up from the seas again. The very last page has a permanent suggestion spell, 'Everything you just read is true.'


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203. Fifty Yards to the Outhouse by Willie Maqueit; Illustrated by Betty Donte

The story of one man's struggle against bad shellfish.


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204. The walls of the lost city. The book is a transcription from cave paintings left by an aberration civilization. There are rituals in it 1-Mind swapping, 2-Transforming animals to humanoids, and several others.


Of Revels and Pandemonium: Guidebook to the First World
This book is crafted of hand-carved oak and bound in coiling vines of living matter. On its covers are several overlapping fairy rings. Upon clutching the device the heady scent of a summer wood at dusk fills the senses.

Once open the reader is treated to a cacophony of riotous rites and maddening mayhem. There is seemingly no rhyme or reason to how things are written in the book; the words are not even bound by the laws of physics or time. As you peruse a page you may note that on the opposite sheet a new writing will suddenly begin scribing itself in.

The content appears to be the rules, rites and revels associated with various fey. These might include a diatribe on the propriety of bees or a transcription of the fabled Mushroom Dance complete with pictures. Every so often actual, useful information such as an arcane spell or fairy's description may appear.

Finally, the book is known to incite temporary and permanent insanities from long-term exposure. Each time the device is consulted the reader must make a DC 11 Will save or burst into gales of laughter as images of fairy follies fill their mind.

Each day a Fort save must be made (DC 10 and escalating per day); failure forces the victim to awaken Fatigued the next morning - the taste and smell of the revel is still on their breath while sweat dries at their brow and their dreams speak of chaotic fantasy. If a fatigued victim fails their next save they become Exhausted; after that continued failed saves begin to deal Con damage until the victim dies or saves. Once the Fort save is made the cycle begins over again at DC 10 and the reader can once more sleep at night...until the next failed save.

Finally for each full week the reader uses the tome they must make a DC 17 Will save; failure results in 1D6 Wis damage. The book's twisting ways and maddening content begins to seep into the victim's mind after a while; they see shapes flitting at the edge of their vision, hear tiny mutters and giggles where nothing is found and their addled mind is too distracted to steel its willpower against further antagonizing.

Any time the book is consulted, roll 1d6:

1-2: Useless drivel
3-4: Handy information: +2 on any Knowledge: Nature check
5: Unseelie horror: some terrible rite of the shadow-fey (Fort save DC 12 or Sickened)
6: Arcane scroll: any 1 arcane scroll of any random level


206. The End of Days
This novel is actually the translation of a famous foreign poet's personal journal, which he only wrote in between the hours of 6 to 8 pm. While the contents would only be of interest to his fans (the subject material is quite boring, despite his international acclaim, the poet lead a rather staid, even aesthetic, life), this is a collectors edition that glows with a soft red light reminiscent of a bloody sunset that acts like the spell dancing lights. People who see the a throng of enraptured onlookers gazing upon someone reading a book so entitled tend to get the wrong idea.

Dark Archive

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207. Procedure Four Hundred and Seventeen. This odd orange-brown book has covers of a hard shiny substance that proves to be some form of insect chitin, although clearly from a specimen of at least dog size. It's pages are papery, and unusually tough, despite their thin-ness, and are decorated with curving lines and dots in no known tongue, and oddly scented, most commonly with a bitter acrid smell. When viewed through a comprehend languages spell, it turns out to be a monotonous text on agricultural procedures that is frustratingly dense and obscure and missing a lot of context, like 'Better Home & Gardens, the James Joyce edition', but includes some strange mention of 'floating gardens' and other phenomena that suggest the gardeners were not humanoid, and were 'gardening' on another plane of existence entirely. Someone with the scent property, using comprehend languages, instead receives the *full* translation, and learns that the writer of this text was a Wasp Formian, and that the 'garden' was floating insectoid grazing creatures, chained to the ground, being harvested for brightly-colored, liver-sized, lighter-than-air organs that were carefully removed from their thorax, to be used to maintain enormous floating hives. Using the careful techniques, obsidian bladed surgical blades and sterilization methods outlined in 'Procedure 417,' these creatures could have a mature 'flying organ' removed without causing undo harm or distress to the creatures, and be so 'milked' dozens of times over their lifetime.


208. Secret of the Gods This heavy, leatherbound tome contains a vast and elaborate description of... something. At every moment it seems as though just a few more words would grant the reader knowledge of some great secret the gods have kept from mortalkind.


209. The Great Lineages of Kaoling This relatively thick tome, written in Goblin and bound with dark red leather covers, is marked with a black kabuto helmet on the front cover. The book contains vital information on the ruling Hobgoblin groups of the Tian nation of Kaoling. However, certain names have been crossed over with what appears to be fresh blood, indicating that some of the information may no longer be valid. Nevertheless, a person who has read the tome gains a +2 on all Knowledge checks relating to the land of Kaoling and the people that live in it, as well as a +2 bonus on Diplomacy when dealing with a goblinoid in power within the country itself. The tome has not been translated into Tien, though there exists a version of it written in Giant.

Liberty's Edge

Dotted for some nifty ideas.


Black and Blue and Red all Over

This treatise on draconic morphology and anatomy is highly detailed but at the same time uses vocabulary generally attributed to an adolescent female humanoid. The text and images are inscribed in a 3 1/2' tall, 1' wide tome of sturdy mithral plates bound in polar bear fur. The ink radiates a chill while, not initially deadly can prove VERY discomforting (studying the book for lengths of time counts as standing in a below 40 degree environment: 1 hour of exposure reading the book requires a DC 15 Fort save or suffer 1d6 non-lethal damage). Finally every time the book is opened frost sloughs off the pages though it doesn't appear to do any permanent damage to the book.

Studying this tome is confusing and difficult. To properly utilize text requires one hour of dedicated study. However the reader is rewarded by a +2 Competence bonus against one of the following dragons: Black, Blue or Red. Further the first damaging attack made by the reader requiring an attack roll against the type of dragon selected adds 1d6 Precision damage; this damage is multiplied in the case of a critical hit. The bonuses imparted by this study remain in place for 24 hours after study is completed. Note: studying this tome may be performed multiple times; it's effects do not stack. Rather each hour of study may be devoted to another type of dragon.


211. Velial's Definitive Guide to Diurnal Avians
This leather-bound tome contains an anatomically correct sketch of an eagle on the inside of the front cover. On the opposite side of the page is an autograph of what appears to be the author, along with a rune in place of a signature. The handwriting is common, and states: "To my friend R. Pembroke: I feel more like I do now than when I first arrived."

Perusing the pages reveals that this was not handwritten. Instead, it appears as though the words were pressed into the page by metal plate lettering. However, the document appears to use a more scholarly dialect of Common. Any character who succeeds at a DC 15 Knowledge (nature) check notices that the tome is almost comprised almost entirely of footnotes, cross-references, indices, and the occasional self-promotion, and very little useful information about birds. If a player has this book in their possession while taking 20 on a Knowledge check in a library to research common diurnal species of birds, they receive a +2 circumstance bonus. This bonus does not apply, however, to nocturnal birds, uncommon species (such as magical creatures).


212. Fifty Tastes of Grape

A story of an Orc Bard trying to find love at wine tastings.

Shadow Lodge

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213. Digest Readers
A Mimic's guide to life in a library.


wow. nothing to add, but ooh so much to take.


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214. The Complete Book of Bedtime Stories

This ornate book is bound in high-quality brown leather and contains roughly 200 vellum pages. The first page of the book is a forward explaining that the book is magical, containing an infinite number of bedtime stories from across the multiverse, the stories present within the book changing each time the book is opened.

If the current owner of the book speaks the phrase "tell me a bedtime story", the book will open itself and a soothing female voice, speaking in the owner's native language and dialect, will read one of the stories in the book aloud.

At the end of the story being read, the owner must succeed a DC 20 Will save or gently slip into a restful sleep. Anyone that falls asleep through this method only needs to sleep half the required time to have a successful restful sleep.


215. The collected Smurf
This collection of comics by Peyo has notes in the margins that teach the Create Smurf alchemist discovery. The book grants a +3 bonus to all skills concerning Smurfs.


216. The Dragon's Orb, and the Dragon's Orb Z

This dual volume fiction book, coming in at a total of 428 pages (108 for the first, 320 for the second) focuses on the adventures of a monk named Goku. In the first volume it details his youth and his rise in strength and power as he trains to become the greatest fighter in the land. Critics of the first novel have stated that although the combats depicted are interesting, the actual story within the book could be compressed to a measly 10 pages. Interestingly, this book is completely devoid of weapons, as the characters are convinced that using weapons, other than the magical stick the main character uses, is considered cheating. Also, the book seems to suggest that a monk need only say the phrase "Ka-me-ha-me-ha" to use his ki.

The second book focuses on Goku in his adult life, and to a lesser extent, his son Gohan, as they both continue their quest to become stronger. Critics of this book have said that chapters are so repetitive, that the various villains could be swapped between the various chapters and the story would remain largely unchanged.

Woven throughout the story is the sub-plot that a legendary green dragon will cast the spell "wish" to anyone who collects his 7 golden orbs. The 9th level spell is often used to cast the 7th level spell "Resurrection" on characters that usually have no relevance to the actual story.

217. Dancing with the Stars

This book details various dancing styles that involve two dancers. The dances depicted, without exception, involve a human expert dancer dancing with another human expert who, with rare exception, has no skill at dancing whatsoever. The book has equal value as both a tutorial on dancing in pairs, and also as a comedy, because of how bad the partners are, and how bad and pointless the judging is. The book includes a special guest author at the end of the book named Niley Sirus about a new dance style that was invented just prior to publication called "Twerking."

The book can be used to give a temporary +1 bonus to Perform: Dance, if it involves dancing in pairs. The chapter on "Twerking" will give the reader a -1 bonus instead to any and all Perform skills used that day, but your perform skill also gains this text: "You may use your perform skill to attempt to distract any target. To affect the target, the target must be able to see the performer and must make a will save (DC 5 + Perform: Dance) save or gain the Nauseated condition for 1d4+1 rounds. This ability is ineffective on creatures with an intelligence of 3 or less."


Dotting.


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218. Airship Down

A book about a number of flumphs living in a cave under Magnimar. One of them gets a vision of impending doom, and after trying to get the whole pod to flee with them, they decide to go it alone. Traveling the land of Varisia, they see anarchy in Riddleport, tyranny in Korvosa, and militarism in Ilsurian. Eventually, they find a new system of caves where they can settle.


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218: The Big Book of Dots

This tome contains a list of the people that haven't contributed, but only 'dotted' the thread.


Vod Canockers wrote:

218: The Big Book of Dots

This tome contains a list of the people that haven't contributed, but only 'dotted' the thread.

Dotting because I always wanted to get my name in a book. Also because I have an actual book.

291: Dr. Wondertainment's A-Maze-ing Quarto CL 20th

This book's pages are filled with cheerfully written directions, disclaimers, and warnings that describe the bizarre, offputting, and gruesome consequences of using it improperly. Strangely enough, it seems to be mass-produced and aimed towards children.

Once a week, the user may make a DC 30 Craft(origami) check to fold out the pages of the book to affect all creatures in a 225-foot-square area centered on the user with a maze spell. This maze manifests as a roofless paper castle with 15-foot-high walls.

If the Craft(origami) check is failed, the user is affected as though by a maximized detonate spell set to force damage and the astral rift created when a bag of holding is placed into a portable hole. The book teleports to a random location 10d100 miles away.

The Exchange

220. Book o'Hymnals, Cayden Cailean's favorite verses.

These books are often found substituting as coasters, shimming tables and improvised fire tinder. The pages contain, ignoring the beers stains and remnants of pretzels, verses to all your favorite drinking songs. There is no NSFW disclaimer although there should be. Numerous efforts by bar patrons (those that can read) to improve the verse found within are crude and juvenile, so naturally they succeed.

A few of these books appear to be well-traveled. Your first clue should be the "Property of Vulgar Unicorn" or an enterprising list of Taverns and dates where it was last used.

Possessing and reading this book can provide +2 Performance(song) and Diplomacy in taverns anywhere and a suitable distraction in scandalized high society functions.

Dark Archive

221. Phases of the Lunar Angel. This book is written in beautifully illuminated celestial calligraphy in silver leaf somehow fused upon pages of white silk, detailing the fantastic adventures of a minor celestial servant of Sarenrae who enjoyed a meteoric rise through the ranks of deva to become a Planetar, and, at the end of the tale, on the cusp of receiving a well-deserved promotion to Solar.

A spellcaster who reads this book thoroughly over the course of a month learns much about the ranks of angels in service to Sarenrae, and any summoning spell he casts to summon an angel is cast at +1 caster level. He also gains +2 to Charisma checks to barter for services with angels, when using the planar ally or planar binding spells.

Careful study also allows the reader to discern the true name of the Lunar Angel, but the book does not recount her final fate, falling into despair, and finally falling indeed, eclipsed to become a pale shadow of her former glory (and power), serving Charon, the Daemon Horseman of Death, with the powers of a NE fallen Astral Deva.


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222. My Family and Other Aberrations, or "Hungry John"

This vast old book is easily the size of a man and is kept on an iron lectern inside a cage. The key is hung next to a sign warning people not to enter the cage unarmed.
The book is an account of a ranger's adventures below the ground, including amusingly disastrous attempts to study aberrations. Along the way, he discovers his own aberrant heritage and his weird family become involved.
The book is an usually erudite mimic known as Hungry John. Fed a diet of goats and able read any of the library's countless books, John has become so content that he has no interest in attacking those who wish to read him. He even allows people to add their notes to the margins.
The text includes some valuable hints about where to find aberration populations and at least two dungeons the author never gets around to raiding.


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223. A Princess of Akiton. The autobiographical tale of Kreth, an unusually intelligent and erudite orc, who claims to have fled the savagery of the Hold of Belkzen through the Pillars that now bear his name only to find himself stranded among the Shobhad of the Red Planet, leveraging his enormous strength, tactical skills, and not inconsiderable charm to rise to a position of power and gain the love of a human princess.

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