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Sovereign Court

*As the count goes up the stairs, he's attacked by bats.*

Throughout your quest,
Knowledge is to keep.
Just remember what they say,
Always look before you leap.

Yay! New pets.
*Plucks the bats out of the air puts them in the convenient cage that happened to be at the foot of the stairs.

Sovereign Court

Oh sure, keep unusually dangerous animals as pets!

Never mind about the poor idiot they almost killed!

And yes, I'm talking about me!

Bats get a bum rap. Many eat bugs which is a good thing. Plus they are cool to watch as they hunt.

Sovereign Court

*Applies bandages to the many I have just received from the bats.*

This is NOT how I intended to spend my birthday!

*Points to Schism's newly acquired "pets".*

For the record, those are African fruit bats. But, here in Jumanji, even the most docile and friendliest herbivores want to tear your faces off.

Sovereign Court

Goodness me, I must say,
Hope that many things come your way.
I have a present, if I may,
To help wish you a happy birthday!

*The count promptly has acid poured on him.*

Oogoogoogoogoo, I'm freakin' out! Serenity, tranquility, peace!

C'mon people now, smile on ya brother, everybody get together, try'ta loooove one another right now!

Good thing that was acid and not Holy Water, Count.
*Casts inflict serious wounds on Count.
There. All better.

Sovereign Court

*Is now in more intense pain.*

*Screams of agony.*

Please stop hurting me, I am badly injured!

*Manages to crawl up the stairs a bit.*

I've heard of birthday beatings, but this is ridiculous!

You are undead.
inflict wounds should heal you.

Sovereign Court

I know, but I'm not from this reality and Jumanji just wants to make me suffer.

Sovereign Court

Your special day has passed,
And you are now so boring.
So here, this will help you,
Before we all start snoring.

*A faint blue glow flashes across the count and Schism's spell heals him.*

Sounds like I need to take a nap.

Sovereign Court

Given how you haven't spoken in a while, I thought you had.

*Continues walking up the spiralling staircase.*

*ZZZZZZ* huh? oh *zzzzz*

Count Reiner Heydrich wrote:
*Continues walking up the spiralling staircase.*

Is there a big slide at the top?

Sovereign Court


Who knows, unlikely as it is, Jumanji is capable of anything.

*As everyone is going further up the stairs, there's a brief interruption (as it were, as the stairs are separated by a small hallway with a door at the end of it.*

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Sovereign Court

*Looks at Little Trevor, looks at the group who nod, looks back at Little Trevor.*

*Kicks Little Trevor, sending him down the stairs.*

We’ll call him Lil’ Tee.

Or you could call him an ambulance.... *peers down the stairs at Trevor*

Nah. He bounces good.

*has horrible flashback of jumping samurais"

Sovereign Court

Guard your thoughts well, shapeshifter, or else Jumanji will exploit them.

Now, shall we continue up the stairs or shall we try the door?

Talk to Dr. Sigmund.
He will help you.

Only if you are having fantasies about close family members or other things that you shouldn't

Sovereign Court

*Has one of the remaining nameless adventurers go to the door.*

I'm sure nothing will happen, don't worry!

*As soon as the nameless adventurer touches the door, he is immediately electrified, killing him.*

OK, up the stairs we go.

*Continues walking up the new flight of stairs.*

I'm getting tired.
Could someone carry me?


Such a child.

Schism wrote:

I'm getting tired.

Could someone carry me?

I can fire you out of a 42 pounder, if you want.

Sovereign Court

*Comes back down the stairs, picks Schism up in a bridal carry and continues back up the stairs.*

Will always love youuuu,

Sorry Count.
I have no problem walking.

*Drops out of the Count's arms and proceeds up the stairs.

Walk like an Egyptian.
Oh way, oh.

This here Egyptian could walk just fine if you dang-diggled crumb-bums hadn't'a hidden his cane!!!

Sovereign Court

*Pushes Pappy Russ down the stairs, amusing us all.*

That's quite alright, Vampire Schism, I just knew that your other selves would complain no matter what.

Hey now!
Don't put me in that category.
And no, I am not complaining.

Sovereign Court

My apologies. I didn't know who was going to say something, so I had to keep it generic.

*Reaches near the top of the stairs, stops for a moment to pear out of the nearby window.*

Quite the lovely view, despite the fact that Jumanji is just plain dangerous. Try not to lean out too much though.

*Sees AM GOLD ignore my advice and leans out the window, only to be taken away by a pterosaur.*

Didn't see that coming, I must admit.

So wait is their dinosaurs in Jumanji?

Sovereign Court

There's just about anything and everything in Jumanji. It all depends on whether it's a creation of Ibsen or something Jumanji brought about itself.

I guess that does fit with its name.

Everything, you say? Including the Classic Keys expansion card for the 1992-93 Yamaha DX-7?!

I'm sure you can't just find it.
You would have to go on a quest.
It doesn't really matter anyway.
What is found in Jumanji stays in Jumanji.

Sovereign Court

*Hugs Schism Spice and Vidmaster7.*

Finally, you guys are starting to truly get it!

*Cries a bit, stopping only when everyone tells me to get a grip.*

Sorry about that, let's continue on, shall we?

Bardic Knowledge has its uses.

Sovereign Court

*A small vortex opens up.*

*Suddenly gets dropped from the sky.*

*Tries to move out of the way of something else but is too slow.*

Sovereign Court

*Appears out of the vortex (which then disappears).*

*Lands on Ripto.*

Sovereign Court



But fair.

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