Hey hey, I gots a real thigh-smacker for ya!
Q: What's the difference between a male catfolk with a harem and a yellow cab with Fighter levels?
A: One's a bull tabaxi and the other's a full BAB taxi! Kwoo! Kwoo! Kwoo!
I actually did not find any beans...
I actually did not find any beans...
The beans found you.
That joke needs some serious explaining!
And as for "thigh slapping"...
*Removes belt (but my trousers don't fall down as I'm wearing suspenders) and I use it to slap Chuck's thighs until they are raw and bloody.*
Whatwhat? Is it spanks o'clock already?
And is that the legendary housemaid's bush over there?
Phrasing, dear.
Heh. Phasing deer.
Let's see I found a snake, a hippo, a brontosaurus, Some trees, an alpaca, a Refrigerator, The arc of the covenant, Big foot, Waterhammer, One of those juggler balls, Frank Sinatra's corpse, need and thread, a grandfather clock, two bananas, and an old wig.
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*Shakes head disapprovingly.*
I'm just going to look at the market stalls.
*Checks out some magical artifacts.*
Let's see: spell books, plant roots, vials of animal blood, bone powder, volcanic healing mud...
*Goes to leave until seeing something.*
Hello, what do we have here?
*The object is a small magical rock that has the power to show a person's previous adventures.*
Wow, I had forgotten about lot of these exploits of mine.
*An interesting image is then shown.*
Oh look at that, it's now showing the time I had a drunken dalliance with Dowager Comtesse de Malodor. Resulting in Comte de Malodor and his sister having a half brother that neither they nor I knew about. Wait, what?
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I thought Nosferatu Fester Addams looked familiar.
I wonder if he can do the light bulb trick.
*Brews a nice, hot, cup of tea.*
Take your time, Vidmaster7, we've got all day.
*Drinks the tea at an enjoyable pace.*
Coffee comes from beans.
Tea comes from leaves.
*Looks at the pile of ash that was Fester Addams.*
Guess Jumanji didn't like that.
*Shrugs.*
Oh well, maybe he can pull a Pulg and come back to life.
Of course he will come back.
I killed him once and dismembered him.It didn't take.
How many of us have you made father?
You know it kind of makes sense that this thread would attract so many immortals. Who else has a chance of being last to post but immortals?
I wonder if he can do the light bulb trick.
I can do the light bulb trick too.
o_O
Casts protection from harm on self.
*The image of the old man reappears.*
Comte de Malodor, have you no dignity?
Such tricks by you are never pretty.
Dignity? Believe me, no.
Most folks worked that out long ago.Goodie goodie, it's poetry time.
*Ahem*
A drunken young man from Jumanji,
Once said,'Goodnesh me, how I fanshy,
A wild night in bed,
With a pair of undead,
So pleashe short me out with two banshees'
The wizened old judge of jumanji.
His teeth all rotted from candy.
His feets is all stinky.
His eyes is all blinky.
But at least he’s all drunked up on brandy.
*The scene: Comte de Malodor, Uncle Honore and Waterhammer are lying on silken cushions, clad in britches and voluminous white shirts open to the waist, and idly puffing on hookers. They turn to glare at the Judge*
Pardon me, sir, but I hope you have a damned good reason for interrupting the 15th Annual Jumanji Poets' Convention.
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*Everyone follows suit and tiptoes through the lions.*
Very good, we're almost at the top step.
*Successfully reaches the top step as does everyone else, except Comte de Malodor, who thought it would be a great idea to wake up the biggest lion and offer it some fruit (knowing full well that lions are carnivorous and don't like being disturbed by an idiot waving a tasteless Jumanji berry in its face).*
Worthy of a Vogon.
*just shrugs*
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Alright, as fun as it is watching Comte de Malodor getting ripped to shreds by an angry lion, we've got much to do.
*Opens the large double doors and walks through with everyone following behind. And immediately we enter a dimly lit hallway that branches into two paths. The one on the left is pitch black and the other one is really bright (so we can't see the end of either paths).*
Oh, cool. Have we reached the stage of the adventure when we are only allowed to communicate in 'Dio' lyrics?
How do you feel right now?
How does it feel to be alone?
How do you feel right now?
Tell me
Hey angel - what's your situation?
*A little out of breath as she finally catches up
Sorry I'm late. I found this nice necklace laying on the ground back on the path.
*Shows a jade elephant with glowing ruby eyes on a silver chain.
Huh? I thought the eyes were green.