False factoids


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Ventnor once coughed up a wind dancer air puppet inflatable balloon. Everybody pretended like they didn't just see that.


JTDV started his career as one of those before getting promoted to a billboard over Santa Monica pier.

Scarab Sages

KahnyaGnorc worked as an in-house electrician for a while at the Love Shack of B-52s fame.


IHIYC has visited all the closets in the famed House of the Rising Sun, and found such things therein that it was the ruin of the poor boy.

Scarab Sages

You've got a friend in GoatToucher. Some other folks might be a little bit smarter than he is - bigger and stronger, too - but none of them will ever love you the way he does.


IHIYC Hides in Closets because it's the only way to escape from being Mr. Courtney Love.


I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:
You've got a friend in GoatToucher. Some other folks might be a little bit smarter than he is - bigger and stronger, too - but none of them will ever love you the way he does.

That's true! It's anatomically impossible, in fact.

Pulg's first credit as a music producer was on the seminal 2 Live Crew opus, "F&~! Shop".


GoatToucher is the sole patron of Polka-Metal.

Lantern Lodge

Pulg, GoatToucher, and JTDV are all savages - SAVAGES! Barely even human!


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Sasithorn Loom was the producer for Pulg, GoatToucher, and JTDV's band "Savages" for their seminal album "Barely Even Human."


KahynaGnorc was booked in to play musical saw (or perhaps musical sores) on the session.

Sovereign Court

I know Pulg, I walked with him once upon a dream. The gleam in his eyes is so familiar a gleam!


Windmills tilt at Spenser Quixote.


Ventnor of puppets
He's pulling your strings
Twisting your mind
And smashing your dream
Blinded by him,
You can't see a thing
Just call his name
'cuz he'll hear you scream
Ventnor! Ventnor!
Just call his name
'cuz he'll hear you scream
Ventnor! Ventnor!


As not for whom the bell tolls...

...it tolls for KahnyaGnorc.


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If you attempt to toll a bell for GoatToucher, it remains silent.


Ventnor is correct, but he doesn't know why.


GoatToucher, having read Lewis Carroll's delightful poem, 'The Dong With The Luminous Nose' decided what the world needed was for him to become 'The Nose With The Luminous youcanseewherei'mgoingwiththiscan'tyou'

Thankfully(?), little or no actual dressing-up or makeup was required.


Pulg has a natural resistance to clothing.


JTDIII once went to an orthodontist. It was a short visit. The dentist fainted with joy.


Sissyl once went to a hat shop. It was a short visit. The haberdasher fainted in despair.


Ventnor went to a fire sale. He was disappointed that they weren't actually selling fire at a discount.

Sovereign Court

KahnyaGnorc visited a brothel, where she had a nice meal of grilled brothels thrprouts.


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Zahira has a brothel. His name is Leginald Neflitovvy and he is vely well lespected in the field of habeldashely.

Liberty's Edge

GoatToucher once attended a Temple Beth El - he'd rather badly misread the sign, and only his high Fortitude save protected him from the very angry rabbi's ensuing pillar of salt spell.


Sunomono Slaad owns several brothels. He also has a full set of soupels, a chowderel, and a rare and sought-after stewel, with a special gauge on the twin grips for calculating the likely level of onion shrinkage.


Pulg is the master of onion shrinkage.


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KahnyaGnorc believes that onions are a myth told to scare children.


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Ventnor has evidence, found in half-decayed stelae in abandoned cyclopean cities buried under tons of sand in the arid wastes of Yemen's Empty Quarter, that suggests that the myths are TRUE, but is too frightened to make the facts public.

Dark Archive

Pulg can extract and devour his own brain at no permanent harm to himself.


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Dr. V's dedication to science is so absolute that he once vivisected himself.


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GoatToucher has been vivisection 8 times. Each time, his internal organs were arranged in a different pattern. 3 of the times a float bladder was found in his torso cavity somewhere.

Science still can’t explain this phenomenon.

Sovereign Court

Ventnor is more intrigued about assisting me with my project of altering ogrekin into a more stable form (think of the ogryns in warhammer 40k).


Count Reiner Heydrich breaths liquid correction fluid.


JTDV's spit both spreads and cures a number of diseases unknown prior to JTDV's first time drooling as an infant.


Have you ever seen KahnyaGnorc and TV's Flipper in the same room at the same time? Didn't think so! ##illuminaticonfirmed


JTD is a member of the Dimluminati, a secret society dedicated to ensuring that our lightbulbs only give off the minimum brightness needed to see and not a watt more.

They haven't been very successful in this mission at all.


Ventnor is a Grand High Master of the East and West, Exalted Knight of the Great Pentad, Sovereign Commander of the Venerable Order of the Hidden Temple and 333rd Degree Jet-Propelled Levite of the Illumpynati, a secret society dedicated to the propagation of boils.


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Pulg is an honorary member of the secretive Council of Twelve. Well, I guess "honorary member" is a bit of a stretch. He's taken up residence under the rug and I think he ate the exterminator and they haven't been able to lure him out.

Scarab Sages

GM MacShack is the only non-Yeerk member of the Council of Thirteen, a status tolerated because his dome-fluids have made his brain far too toxic to infest, and earned because he alone knows how to help them with their "microwave oatmeal problem."


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I'm Hiding In Your Closet formed a council with I'm Hiding In Your Underwear Drawer, I'm Hiding In Your Walk-in Freezer, I'm Hiding In Your Pajamas Even While You Wear Them, and I'm Not Hiding Why Does No One Notice Me.


KahnyaGnorc is the Grand Poobah of the Grand Council of KahnyaGnorc. He's also the secretary, the treasurer, the chairman of human relations, and the janitor.

It should also be mentioned that he has access to a highly advanced Cloning Vat.


Sinister Stan is currently Scheming to infiltrate the Grand Council of KahnyaGnorc. His devilish plot involves a French maid outfit and a magnificent false moustache (in common with all his other plots).


Pulg has since retired from a life of crime in which he would steal orypto-taxidermy specimens. Never got caught!

Scarab Sages

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The above image of JTDV is but a single image excerpted from a short film of him being fired out of a cannon!

Sovereign Court

Tvashtri Abdul-Khasis is the one who fired JTDV out of the cannon.

Scarab Sages

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I would be remiss were I not to mention that it was none other than His Grace Count Reiner Heydrich who most graciously provided the funding for research and development of my state-of-the-art electrum-double-reinforced Khepri-class arthrocannon!


Tvashtri Abdul-Khasis challenged Asmodeus to a fiddling contest. It was going well up to the point where they both realized that neither of them actually knew how to play a fiddle.

So they compromised with a bassoon-off instead.


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Tvashtri once invented the testicular-scrotal trauma generator, or, as the prototype was called the brief time he lost it until he recovered it, the nut kicker. The discovery was entirely by accident, but worked perfectly. Then again, what would one do with such a wonder? He quietly dismantled it.


Sissyl has an immunity to dragons which includes the inability to see them.

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