False factoids

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Silver Crusade

Ages ago, a mad and tormented Wayang Oracle crafted a one-of-a-kind GoatToucher shadow puppet - for this, they say, she was put to death by her community, and her temple and belongings were ritually burned...but afterwards, when they searched the ashes for the remains of the blasphemous puppet (a cursed Minor Artifact in power), it was gone without a trace.

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Years ago, Pulg, GoatToucher, I'm Hiding In Your Closet, Ventnor, Sissyl, KahnyaGnorc, Sliska Zafir, Count Reiner Heydrich, and even JTDV's brother JTDIII all lived in harmony. But then Xasay Xyu showed up with an insidious game called Twister™.

Since then, no one has talked about "it" and we've all avoided each other or said anything about "it". Thanks a lot Xasay Xyu! >:(

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JTDV lived in harmony with those around it...

...until the Fire Nation attacked.

Scarab Sages

Who do you think attacked the Fire Nation in the first place???

Who Else But...:
Pulg. It was all Pulg's fault from the start. DAMMIT PULG!!!

IHIYC discovered why it isn't a good idea to play Twister with me in particular. I believe one of the ribbons is from him.

Sissyl has no idea that anything is on her head. She thinks that everyone has been admiring her stylish pixie-cut for the last decade.

GoatToucher sometimes REDACTED with his other REDACTED just for a change of pace.

KahnyaGnorc’s redacting business is booming.

Ventnor only works out his neck muscles. The rest of him is scrawny.

JTDV is actually an Ankheg-shaped mech manned by tiny people, sort of like an SDF, complete with a whole city in his torso area.

KahnyaGnorc is actually shaped like the Sanskrit letter dramatic revealing score: duhn duhn duhn!!! KNYA

Find your shape here!

KahnyaGnorc is employed solely to maintain the 'Live, Laugh, Love' sign in GoatToucher's workroom

JTDV and Pulg make their living as exotic dancers at an exclusive club for the most wealthy patrons.

GoatToucher’s dances are considered a little too exotic for the general public.

Ventnor's bardic performance of choice is . . . interpretive dance!

(Had a bard do that when stuck in an area of Silence . . . he even had the ranks in Perform to do it well!)

KahnyaGnorc causes hurricanes by standing on top of Mount Kilimanjaro and unleashing little 'Tommy Squeakers' in all four cardinal directions

True story: Pulg owns a hairless cat!

JTDIII has a bunny named Fluffers McFluffFace, and woe be to whoever threatens Fluffers!

KG has a scrotum the size of a volleyball, and that scrotum has a face, and that face speaks prophecy.

Sovereign Court

GoatToucher supplied the prophecy speaking "thing" to KahnyaGnorc in the first place.

Count Heydrich learned the hard way that there is more to the Australian national anthem than shouting 'LAGER, SHEILAS, KOALAS AND PRAWNS, MATE!' over and over again while violently breaking wind.

Pulg can considers the use of shampoo to be a mortal sin.

Scarab Sages

Ventnor has a lower-back tattoo made from powdered gems depicting Azathoth; it functions as a 3-in-1 symbol of insanity/exsanguination/debauchery.

Vladek Ordradek has a lower-back tattoo of Ventnor, complete with his own lower-back tattoo that still functions as a 3-in-1 symbol of insanity/exsanguination/debauchery.

Scarab Sages

KahnyaGnorc has a lower-back tattoo of Vladek Ordradek, with a tattoo of Ventnor, with a tattoo of Azathoth; it functions as an explosive rune.

Sihir Aneh is the world's best lower-back tattoo artist.

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Ventnor has a tattoo of his lower back on his stomach and a tattoo of his stomach on his lower back, so he can lift up his shirt, confuse pursuers as to which way he's running, and then make his escape, laughing contemptuously as he does so.

Pulg is covered with tattoos. Your guess as to what they're about.

JTDV regularly shaves Pulg to read his tattoos, having discovered that they shift and change every New Moon, and that they often foretell arcane secrets of the past... and the future.

The Exchange

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GoatToucher does not have a single tattoo, and is adamantly opposed to ever getting one. His body is a temple...filled with harlots and moneylenders.

Sovereign Court

Nemesis Melek is one such a har-ouch! Certain individual who is one of the very few that GoatToucher (depraved as he is) is someone with a high standard of ethics and morals (contradictory as it is).

Count Reiner Heydrich is plotting to usurp the demesne of Minty von Doublestripe, Duke of the Candy Cane Forest.

Scarab Sages

In his most supremely sinister scheme yet, Sinister Stan: Schemer Supreme has sent a series of innocuous-looking, lavishly decorated letters to all his rivals in the war for the Candy Crown - but woe to any who open the letters, for within each one lies A 'GO VISIT PLUMPY' CARD! YAAA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!

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IHIYC deosn't even want the Candy Crown, but loves the chaos of the war.

KahynaGnorc, whose dedication to healthy eating is unequalled, is aiming for the Tofu Throne instead.

Pulg has a rather... profound gastrointestinal reaction to tofu, but the resulting expulsions make delightfully musical tones. He was once able to perform "Hot Cross Buns" three hours after a trip to a Vegan restaurant.

GoatToucher is wrong. It was 'Pop Goes The Weasel' instead.

Pulg's body hair is home to 23 weasels, 45 voles, 2 robins, and 13.67 Ravens (not the birds, fictional humanoids named "Raven")

KahnyaGnorc enjoys bungee jumping, sort of. He likes to replace the bungee cords with poisonous vipers. Makes things more exciting that way.

Ventnor enjoys zip-lining. He also enjoys fly button planing and velcro soliding, but the less said about that the better.

Pulg ain’t afraid of no ghost! Maybe specters scare him a little, but other than that he ain’t afraid!

Ventnor was Slimer in a previous unlife.

KahnyaGnorc invented the squeegee after noticing that slime cleanup could be much more efficient than just straight-out licking the window.

Don't ask what JTDV does with the collected slime, because he will tell you.

GoatToucher KNOWS what JTDV does with the slime . . . INTIMATELY.

KahnyaGnorc has been practising that very same thing every day.

Pulg knows my secret identity, which is, uh, my primary identity. But he knows it!

JTDV's tertiary identity, however, remains safe.

Ventnor has a sister. She is known as Ventsou.

Sissyl has a brother. He is worn as a belt.

Wait. HAD. Had a brother.

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