The Next Poster...

Forum Games

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It involves fertilizer, a potion of enlarge person, a few seeds of disclosed origin, and some hair lotion by the [Redacted] corporation.

The next poster has tested this method before, with satisfying results.

It worked wonders for my troll army, even if it made all of my players upset for two weeks!

Though I think that was more of the fact that I set an entire troll army on them than anything else...

The next poster has a good method for keeping trolls away.

2 people marked this as a favorite.

Yeah the method is Vetnor with the flu.

The next poster wonders why all the trolls have a Jamaican accent.

Because they have to stay away from the voodoo?

The next poster tries to sell a bridge to a troll.

*dual-wields flamethrowers* Yeah, it is the bridge over the River Styx!

The next poster vacations at the River Styx.

Actually, I prefer the River Night Ranger, but funds are tight this year.

The next poster is presently trying very hard not to think about Toto in Kansas, and vice versa.

And IT would've easier to do if you hadn't brought them up...

The next poster has a good, though unusual, use for books.

2 people marked this as a favorite.

I like to stack them on top of mice to see how many they can carry.

The next poster is pretty sure he has seen that somewhere before.

Was it in Boston, no New York maybe. Maybe it was just a special effect in a movie; I am not sure, but I tell you the truth I have seen it done, but only one of the mice lived to tell the tale.

The next poster collects shot glasses from cities around the world. Which they use to feed and water their tiny menagerie zoo at home.

I had a glass for each city I visited.
2 glasses total. My little zoo starved to death. I miss it. But now I have ghost pets. They are better as they cannot starve.

The next poster has a curious pet.

That would be George. His curiosity always leads to adventure and shenanigans.

The next poster calls shenanigans in the most awkward of situations . . .


The NEXT POstER's Clearnce LEvel WILL Be PROmoted to GreeN! (THIs MEans Hot AnD COld FUN EvEry NighT!)

Machines are not a threat. Living forms are. Just give the order, my Master, and Artephius will gladly take care.
That means hot and cold and acid and electric fun every night and day. The goodness of being an alchemical golem.

The next poster is doing something to avoid machines taking over.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

*pulls the plug*

The next poster's mind is... bloooown.

Dark Archive

Sissyl just because my skull is empty does not mean it is okay to use it as a wind instrument. Stop blowing in my ear! ... (whistling sound) I said stop it!

The next poster plays an unusual instrument. (whistling sound) NOT MY HEAD!

I'm in a jug band. I play the little brown jug.

The next poster looks like THIS.

I was victim of a Baleful Polymorph spell! Help me!

The next poster will help me.

* casts mythic Mage's Disjunction on Mohrlex, restoring him to his draconic self *

The next poster was responsible for casting Baleful Polymorph on Mohrlex in the first place and is now in hiding.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Ok, So, I have a confession to make...

I am, in fact, a brony, so this is strangely appropriate...

Meanwhile, I am in hiding, but don't actually have much to worry about, being immortal and all that...

The next poster is also immortal...

You cannot kill what's never been alive.

The next poster has already died a few times, but is OK with it.

Turns out, Death is a pretty chill dude once you get to know him.

The next poster prefers a lesser-known horseman of the apocalypse...

Pesti Beast was always pretty efficient.

The next poster still remembers that game.

I liked War X-23 better. Ah, those days...

The next poster has developed his own Facebook game.

Dark Archive

1 person marked this as a favorite.

It's where I kill you, peel off your face, alchemically preserve it, and press it into a book like a flower! The first serial murderer player to fill their entire book with faces of their victims game pieces wins. Such jolly fun!!!

The next poster shall tell us of the time they suffered an ignominious defeat at my hands!

It turned out that we were supposed to be playing a chess game.

I just kept telling a story with the pieces in the table.

I was glad to get the King killed because the Knight could get the Queen out of the Tower where she was imprisoned and take her with her Bishop lover.

In the end my surviving Black armies were redeemed and joined the White ones to live happily ever after so I don't care a lot if I lost.

The next poster also turned a tabletop game into a story.

Well, it turns out Gragra the barbarian had not taken Lala's ball. And Rat the rogue did not like to eat either pink goo or happy pies. Poo was really worried about Lala's ball being gone.

After that, it got ugly.

The next poster was there and knows how ugly.

It made Poog look like a teddy bear, -that ugly-.

The next poster has plans that involve taxidermic applications, goblins & gnomes.

My first mistake was teaching goblins how to stuff dead animals. My second was not checking the goblins to see if there were any gnomes who had disguised themselves as goblins.

The next poster has paid the price for my mistakes.

I was really, really trying to get Stan to finally achieve world domination for his third time... But, man, how do you work with that??

The next poster has an unconventional use for moonlight.

Scarab Sages

It's the best venue in which to ill-meet proud Titania!

The next poster went on a double-blind date with proud Titania, great Cthulhu, and comrade Lenin.

I only aggreed because after knowing Rasputin and the Romanovs I wanted to know the other part of the story.

The date was ruined when we got some squid served at the dinner table. Who would know that Cthulhu was so sensitive...

The next poster has dated something worse than Lovecraftian horrors.

Two words - Goat Toucher.

The next poster was our waiter on the date . . .

And all I did was waiting. They never came out of the room to have dinner!

The Next poster entered that room by accident!

Mnyes, 'by accident' It said on the script: 'You are the plumber', or perhaps 'You are the Beef and Oyster Pie Delivery Boy'

Then it said 'Enter without knocking', although I may have got that mixed up with a slightly later stage direction.

The next poster, a member of the Dirty Old British Board of Film Classification, would like to tell the director where cuts will have to be made in the name of public decency.

All, Right, All right. Cut!! No, seriously, cut it all. we can't show any of this to any body!! Not even the most debased mind would appreciate anything that we filmed here today... Seriously, PURGE IT. PURGE. IT. NOW.

The next poster will follow through on these orders... IMMEDIATELY

Yes, My Lord. I'll do it with delight.

*Destroys everything, sets the house on fire and proceeds to slay any witnesses or collaborators in the film*

The next poster will stop Artephius before he goes completely wild*

I took the new feat construct hacking. Artie gave me the entire pieces of the film off the cutting room floor before he burned the building down. We faked the deaths of everyone involved.

I think I spliced the film back together wrong. The next poster gets to watch it first to see if it's fit to use as a torture device.

I had some «volunteers» watching the film, Clockwork Orange way. All of them had their sanity washed away so soon that any further attempt to interrogate or brainwash them utterly failed.

The next poster found a good use for the film.

Scarab Sages

It is now the ultimate weapon against the Axis!!!

The next poster spent time in a Turkish prison with Dirty Old Victorian Longears.

Not a bad cellmate, all said an told. It was nice rooming with someone who's perversion had something resembling limits, and who actually slept.

The next poster was a cellmate with me in a different prison.

Yeah, in hell. I remember it well; It was for an entire year, right before I ended up selling my soul... good times, good times...

the next poster was there also, but had forgotten due to the horrors of the place, and mental blocking.

SO, THAT'S what those dreams were about! Makes sense . . . well, most of it. The part about Commodore Rubber Ducky and the Pirates Who Say Something Other Than Ni still doesn't quite fit in, though.

THe next poster served with Commodore Rubber Ducky and can fill me in.

Hmm, Ah, yes... The ol' Rapscallion, Commodore Rubber Ducky and I used to have such Grand adventures you know lass. Ah, the places we went, the people we saw! I can tell you want to hear all about it...*proceeds to lengthily take about their twenty three years of service together, never missing a single detail or event.*...And I told that ol' 'coot, thee can take it or leave it, but you won't get a single pence more than that!.*promptly falls asleep*

The next poster went insane (well, more than usual) listening to every bit of that story.

Yes, it made me delusional. I took my mind to a parallel world where I imagined you were telling a story about the Chess people. Please tell me another one!

The next poster is good at storytelling.

And then that humble pawn, by virtue of his many deeds, became a wise and beloved queen. And she remade the world, fixing everything that was wrong and many, many statues were made conmemorating her. And even though she finally died, she become truly inmortal in the hearts of her people. End.

The next poster doesn't like happy endings.

Endings with goblins not winning is bad endings.

Next pozter be polishing shoez of Queen Va'ardalia Silvanos.

One would expect that now that she's a noblewoman and wants to claim her birthright and all that stuff she'd stop going to muddy places, but nooooo!
And there has to come the younger sister to get her clean and elegant again! One of these days I'm just letting her go in public with those dirty shoes!

The next poster knows what having an older sister is.

Simple, it is when one's parents have a daughter that is older than oneself. It gets more complicated when time travel, age/youth magic, and different time speeds get involved, though.

The next poster takes things too figuratively.

It's hard not to be able to take anything in a literal way... Being an incorporeal and metaphorical entity entitled to the only purpose of thread derailing makes taking things impossible.

The next poster doesn't follow the guidelines of the game (Sorry, I cannot post with this alias and not attempt to derail the thread ;-D)

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Huh? Why would I do that?

The next THREE posters will tell us about how best to derail this thread.

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