The Worst Alignment Thread


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Scarab Sages

How's Randolph Carter supposed to go on his epic dream-quests if he doesn't go to sleep?

Moral Standard: No glove, no love.


Do so, and soon we are all extinct!

Moral standard: You must always try your best.


Kileanna wrote:

Do so, and soon we are all extinct!

Moral standard: You must always try your best.

Especially if your best is murder.

Moral Standard: Try to avoid being evil.

Grand Lodge

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But to truly understand good, one must be evil for contrast!

Moral standard: Turn off the lights when you leave the room


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What so IHIYC can get me? yeah no thanks bro.

(always wait 10 minutes after eating before getting in the pool wait that might not be a morale standard one.)

morale standard: Don't raise the dead its an evil act.


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Of course they are not getting a raise, they're my slaves, they're not getting paid.

Moral standard: Always remember who you are


So I should just remember who I am and nothing else? How am I going to know how to eat or breathe?

Morale Standard: Keep morale high.


Even if that means inviting Jokey, the Unfunny Comedian to a funeral.

Moral standard: My house, my rules

Scarab Sages

Even if it's haunted - and the ghosts have seniority!

Moral Standard: Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife, nor his ox, nor his ass.


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That implies that if he's not my neighbour I'm free to do it.

Moral standard: No pain, no gain


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If you don't care about having an @$$ that your neighbor can covet then who cares about pain or gain.

morale standard: Don't burn your bridges


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Burn someone else's bridges. Duh.

Moral standard: All that is required for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing.


I wish. If I do nothing either, how can I triumph?

Moral standard: Mother always knows best


...And then each generation is dumber than the last. Extinction is coming!

Moral standard: Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.


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Why do you hate me so much? No way I'm commiting suicide!

Moral standard: Long live the Queen ;-D


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Do you want liches? Because this is how you get liches!

Moral standard: Do not wear clothes of wool and linen.


Should I wear metal clothes then? And break my druidic oaths? Nonsense!

Moral standard: You have to keep your promises.

Scarab Sages

"LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP!1!!!"

Moral Standard: An eye for an eye.


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That means that Vidmaster7 and An Immortal Lychee are both extremely evil, since they failed to uphold their promise that they'd respond to Kileanna's proposed moral standard in this thread.

... Makes sense to me.

Also I'm gonna poke out I'm Hiding In Your Closet's eye for the crime of being a ninja.

Moral Standard: Double posting is an unforgivable sin.


Repent for your sins and apologize for it on a third post!

Moral Standard: A paladin cannot associate with evil creatures.


Evilness is in the eye of the beholder.

Moral Standard: Don't bite the hand that feeds you.


How can I feed on it without biting? I cannot swallow it whole!

(Also, I'm pretty sure that the whole beholder is evil, not just the eye/s)

Moral standard: Always look on the bright side of life


Since the sun is the brightest, just stare at it all day!

Moral Standard: An apple a day keeps the doctor away.


But you really need to work on your ranged attack bonus.

Moral standard: It takes two to tango.


So I'd rather stay with my dancing teacher and get rid of my useless couple.

Moral standard: The early bird catches the worm.


Fine, fine, I guess I just won't sleep at all then! Sure, I'll be so drunk from exhaustion I'll probably accidentally fireball an orphanage, but since you insisted on an early start, guess I better f*++ing get that g+#~#*n worm you're so excited about...

Moral Standard: Don't drink to excess.


Don't drink that healing potion. We wouldn't want you to have excess hit points, after all.

Moral Standard: Laughter is the best medicine.


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*Cackles*
I don't know... Each time I do this cackling thing I only seem to make their misery last longer...

Moral standard: Be polite


Excuse me Mr. Great Wyrm Dragon, would you mind it terribly if we- *is torn to shreds*

Moral Standard: Have faith


I have faith in the Lord of Bones, the Endless Hunger, Judge of Souls. And to prove my faith I'll offer him the souls of all elvenkind.

Moral standard (inspired from a V:tM mention in another post) A beast I am lest a beast I become.


Except for the X-Man Beast. He was already a beast, and then he became a beast.

Moral Standard: Dare to be Stupid!


Sure. That's how you all let me in power.

Moral Standard: You must keep all oaths you make.

Scarab Sages

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So a frustrated parent who says "I swear I'm gonna kill that kid" has to...?

Moral Standard: You reap what you sow.


You really shouldn't do that to a female pig.

Moral standard: We are all fellow passengers on spaceship Earth.

Lone Shark Games

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This spaceship has so far shown no capacity whatsoever to leave its orbit. 2/10 would not buy.

Moral standard: Don't come a knockin' if this van's a-rockin'.


Even the necromorphs? Even the necromorphs.

Mortal Standard: What goes around comes around.


So what's the point of running in circles? I'd rather sit and stay.

Moral Standard: You must grow up and take responsabilities.


Without paying for them?!

Moral Standard: The workers must rise up and seize the means of production.


I used to work in a farm, I did what you told me, seized the cows and took them to my house. Now they eat my food, sleep in my bedroom and scare my dog. I think I did it wrong.

Moral standard: Pay attention!

Scarab Sages

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Attention just sat around while everyone else did all the work, it doesn't deserve to be paid!

Moral Standard: A stitch in time saves nine.


I remember this guy who had his soul stitched to his body. What was his name?

Spoiler:
Rasputin
He kept returning from death all the time only to be stabbed to death again.
I guess this stitch didn't save him from many stitches, the poor man.

Moral standard: Truth will set you free.

Scarab Sages

"I CONFESS! I'm the serial killer, officer!"

Moral Standard: Loose lips sink ships.


Yes, since the lip-launcher started to be used.

Moral standard: You are what you eat.


And that's why I always spend some time speaking with my meal. I don't want to eat some random simpleton; it could stick to me.

Moral Standard: Respect those beneath ye.


Do you mean this John Doe that I use as a chair or the one I use as a carpet? I respect them. I have even stopped wearing heels while walking on the latter!

Moral standard: Be a fair ruler.


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Sylvyana the Ghoul Queen wrote:
Moral standard: Be a fair ruler.

So I should never strive to be a "great" ruler? That's defeatist bull$#!+!

Moral Standard: Take everything in moderation.

Kileanna wrote:
That implies that if he's not my neighbour I'm free to do it.

This has just summed up human history.


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¿Moderation? I want to be wise!!

Moral Standard: The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom.


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Oh, the things I have seen...

Moral Standard: Every Villain Is Lemons.


EVIL is lost in a long run of psycho babble, and then you will say that evil does not exist. After all Lemons are not all bad...

Moral Standard: “We did not inherit the earth from our ancestors, we have borrowed it from our children."


I have no children, so I get nothing?

Moral standard: I'm rubber, your glue.

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