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129: breast feed themNO
BUT IF WE DON'T, WHO WILL! WON'T SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!
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I wonder...what if one of the players got pregnant, had a baby, and, being a PC said; "Screw retiring, I'm just gonna take lil Reroll with me!
Then they die to goblins. What if the goblins raised the human baby?
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BUT IF WE DON'T, WHO WILL! WON'T SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!129: breast feed themNO
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*
its also one of both my kids's favorite songs:-) we're more of a punk rock house:-p
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I reD in a PFS scenario, think it was the Frostfell Captives, one of the early season three(year 4) mods that goblins have a super high metabolism and require extra food. The rise of the Runords book one says baby goblins are thrown into cages with other goblins and given less food than they all need so they learn to fight each other. This leads me to think you would have to get a new born or they may already be conditioned beyond what any orphanage would put up with. Especially considering the lack of any civilized productive members of society from the race. I am tempted to believe they should be considered vermin and treated as such, as in eliminate them.
Dropping off a goblin at an orphanage should not let a paladin off the hook. At the leSt they should make financial contributions for the extra food they require and.extra headaches they would cause the staff. It would be very rare for a orphanage to have the.patience and discipline required to see that goblin baby through before it somehow "ran away" or died in an "acudent."
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Lol I did this to 2 different groups in same campaign. The life oracle looked away while barbarian slaughtered them. In the other the female rogue convinced the monk to spare them. I didn't impose any alignment penalties I was just curious to what they would do.
130. Good bard breaks out in We are the World song. "I believe the children are our future, teach them well and let them lead the way.....
I have an addendum to my second suggestion (killed half and raise half and claim to be true neutral, just "maintaining the balance").
The story will make you a much better parent to the survivors. "I said clean your room, Bernie (pun intended!) I brought you into this home and I can take you out...Just ask your sister. I think I have a scroll of speak with dead around here somewhere..."
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131. Kill them. Then, reincarnate them. Raise them and find out how much of their personality is innate goblin behavior.
132. Cast irresistible dance on them.
133. Gain levels in a class with an animal companion, and take 'pile of goblin babies' as your companion.
134. Raise them. When they're of age, garb them in green tunics. Then, send them on their way with wooden swords. Give half of them pixies as companions; the other half get will o' whisps.
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135. Feed them and take care of them, when the time is right, have the Barbarian toss all of them at the enemy. Treat as a permanent Mad Monkeys.
136. Use them as nreeding stock, open a tavern to the upper eschelon of society. Serve goblin veal, rocky mountain goblin oysters, goblin tripe, goblin ribs, and a really strong drink with goblin blood. This tavern will be the rage of nobility.
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137. Feed them after midnight. If they start to annoy you, put them in a fountain.
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139. give them a puppy
140. send them to Pharasma, let her sort it out (i'm not getting paid to do her job!)
141. Drop them in the river with the kittens that you'd do anyways.
142. Treat them like the wild animal babies you might meet also (though admittedly goblin babies tend to grow up faster and me a tad more violent than wolf pubs, tiger kits, bear cubs, and alligator babes...even all combined together).
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134. Raise them. When they're of age, garb them in green tunics. Then, send them on their way with wooden swords. Give half of them pixies as companions; the other half get will o' whisps.
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140. send them to Pharasma, let her sort it out (i'm not getting paid to do her job!)
No! no no no no no! i sponsored Lamashtu so i wouldn't have to deal with those little pricks!
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140. send them to Pharasma, let her sort it out (i'm not getting paid to do her job!)No! no no no no no! i sponsored Lamashtu so i wouldn't have to deal with those little pricks!
And she freed those Barghests from Asmodeus to pass the buck on to the Goblin Hero Gods.
Dragonsnacks
145: Train them to be the 'Animal' Companions for a new Druid Archetype.
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139. give them a puppy
Relatedly
146: Give them a horse.
149: Make them listen to every KRS-ONE CD
at the very least they'll be better people (although you'll need to invest in some soapboxes)
150: Feed them smurfs
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151) Raise goblins as own, find some sort of cave and stronghold. Have goblins interbreed in about two years and begin nurturing their destructive tendencies. Then attack Sandpoint.
(Can't believe no one's thought of that)
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152. Feed them to Smurfs
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Eat them. When people react in horror, tell them you were told by your doctor you didn't get enough greens in your food, and that consequently you were acting on your doctor's expressed instruction.
150. Make them listen to Celine Dion.
That's a one-way ticket to chaotic evil.
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154) Raise them, then force them to take the Starstone Test. After that, you're either out 50 goblins or become herald to a new god. (If a drunk can do it...)
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156. Take them to Freehold's place, ring doorbell, Run!
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157. Send them to work at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. One way or another, someone's problem gets solved.
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157. Send them to work at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. One way or another, someone's problem gets solved.
Would that even work? They're children. The animatronics don't hurt kids. They'd likely kill YOU while you're dropping them off! Plus, child labor laws.
158. Take them on as pages and teach them the ways of knighthood!
Someone is not aware of the Bite of 78
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What if the animatronics were programmed by someone who doesn't believe goblin children exist?
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159: Teach them to love thru the use of interpretive dance, if they're still not reformed after seeing me dance like this, then drive them to Illinois, its their problem now!
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161: Send em all to Daycare.... Wait! That'll just make them worse!
Someone is not aware of the Bite of 78
It's thought that the bite of 87 might actually have happened to the security guard from FNAF2 not a kid.
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Someone is not aware of the Bite of 78It's thought that the bite of 87 might actually have happened to the security guard from FNAF2 not a kid.
Indeed, it's never expressly said whether the victim in 87 was a child or adult, and when 2 introduced the bit that the animatronics continue to behave normally towards children but just stare at adults, that implies to me that the bite victim was likely an adult.
At any rate, I wouldn't want to expose the animatronics to goblin kids. They'd likely all end up like Mangle.
162. Train the goblins to be a world-class comedy act! Help them see the world, give them an outlet for their aggression via slapstick and make money together to boot!
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163. Hit the gin and beat them to death while screaming, "Why do you make your mother do this to you???"
164. Graft them to paladins and remove the goblin babies's hearts, so that they cannot survive without the paladin's blood supply.
165. Have the paladin smite evil on them with a 1/16 inch dowel rod, record for posterity whether they die.
166. Use polymorph spells to turn them into halfling babies and give them to halfling orphanages. For the anniversary of their fostering, send them fireworks as presents.
167. Raise them as your own, mildly neglected in favor of your stronger, stupider natural offspring. As they grow up, teach them that their purpose in life is to prop up the fortunes of your favorite children. Give your biological children lots of cash and powerful magical items, but teach your resentful goblin foster children the ways of sorcery and subtlety. Assume nothing bad will happen as a result.