Murder is the only option. It's what the paladin would do.The paladins of "Lawful Good" Iomedae and Torag, sure.
I think you missed the inherent sarcasm
Only sarcasm if you're not well-informed.
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61) Eat them. Take any alignment change that may or may not result of this. With your new alignment, give exactly one immense poo.
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61) Eat them. Take any alignment change that may or may not result of this. With your new alignment, give exactly one immense poo.
One of the players at my lodge tried something like this. As I understand it, the character has the goal of cooking at least one of every monster in existence. The GM pretty quickly nixed doing it to anything with an Int score of higher than 2, though :)
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Murder is the only option. It's what the paladin would do.The paladins of "Lawful Good" Iomedae and Torag, sure.
30. Baleful polymorph all of them into sheep, and hope none of them made their will save to keep their mind.
Utter blasphemy.
Holy Iomedae holds in her greatest scorn those who would commit such wickedness and cruelty in the name of the "greater good", especially those who would dare to do so in Her name.
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Yeah, she's not the kind of hypocritical LG that would blast people with lethal sonic damage for insulting her.
[incredibly massive sarcasm tag]
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62. Ask your DM if not rescuing them is an evil act. When your DM, a real dick, says yes, go ahead and save them. Go to the nearest village. If anyone objects to them or says they should be killed, slaughter them in the streets. When the DM objects point out that they were evil and you were only fighting evil.
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62. Ask your DM if not rescuing them is an evil act. When your DM, a real dick, says yes, go ahead and save them. Go to the nearest village. If anyone objects to them or says they should be killed, slaughter them in the streets. When the DM objects point out that they were evil and you were only fighting evil.
I would also accept the response "I'm not evil, I'm just a dick."
63. Make good use of the Hypnotism spell, then they go take care of themselves.
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65. Find a new gaming group. (Seriously, the goblin baby thing is just ugh...and perhaps half the reason you find a lot of CN/CE characters...it's a way of stating: "I don't want to deal with this s*!!.")
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66: Wipe them out. All of them.
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67. This sort of situation is what a Phylactery of Faithfulness is for. Duuuuhhhh!
69) Roll to disbelieve.
Edit: fixed number
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Lemmy solved this dilemma, PERFECTLY, I might add, in another thread.
Give the babies, one at a time, a holy weapon. If they are evil, they only have 1HD, so the negative level will kill them. If neutral or good, they will live.
Move on, thread over, dilemma solved, he figured out what one hand clapping sounds like, and if a tree falls in the woods if there's sound.
Lemmy solved this dilemma, PERFECTLY, I might add, in another thread.
Give the babies, one at a time, a holy weapon. If they are evil, they only have 1HD, so the negative level will kill them. If neutral or good, they will live.
Move on, thread over, dilemma solved, he figured out what one hand clapping sounds like, and if a tree falls in the woods if there's sound.
That's actually brilliant. Of course, if you're still fighting goblin tribes, you're probably not high enough level for a Holy weapon, but it is a fool-proof plan.
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71. Make a thread about it. We don't have enough of those yet.
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Lemmy solved this dilemma, PERFECTLY, I might add, in another thread.
Give the babies, one at a time, a holy weapon. If they are evil, they only have 1HD, so the negative level will kill them. If neutral or good, they will live.
Move on, thread over, dilemma solved, he figured out what one hand clapping sounds like, and if a tree falls in the woods if there's sound.
72. Ignore ages of philosophical debate on nature vs. nurture by assuming morality is innate rather than obtained through our thoughts and actions
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73. Feed them kobolds. Two birds one stone. They'll likely choke on it.
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The holy weapon being wielded isn't you killing the babies, it's the GM.
The item doesn't say anything about subjective morality, or nature or nurture, cause and effect, or any other crap like that. It says if you're evil, you get a negative level.
If the GM rules that it kills them, HE SAYS THEY'RE EVIL and so there is No Moral Debate! If it doesn't, again, that's the GM...you know, the guy who decides whether Paladins fall or protection from evil works, etc...that's that guy saying, nope, they're not evil.
He cannot possibly give you any moral doubt with it. It's either instant death or not, and it's solely based on what you ARE. Not what society says you are, not what you feel like, not what you intend, what you ARE.
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So it's like a phylactery of faithfulness, but multi-purpose, and specializing in baby killing.
On the downside, he'll probably say "just because someone is evil doesn't mean they automatically have to die", so you still lose.
On the downside, he'll probably say "just because someone is evil doesn't mean they automatically have to die", so you still lose.
What? No no, they absolutely do. Evil is Evil man. Less Evil is a Net Good for the multiverse.
What? No no, they absolutely do. Evil is Evil man. Less Evil is a Net Good for the multiverse.
On the downside, he'll probably say "just because someone is evil doesn't mean they automatically have to die", so you still lose.
That's not true.
Let's say the moral spectrum goes from 1 to 5, with 1 being pure good and 5 pure evil.
Then let's say that there's only 5 people in the universe, one an alignment of 1, another with an alignment of 2, another with an alignment of 3, another with an alignment of 4 and a last one with an alignment of 5.
This would mean there's a 50%-50% spread of good/evil.
If you kill the guy with an alignment of 3... then that's still a 50%-50% spread.
If you kill the guy with an alignment of 5... then the guy with the alignment of 4 becomes the most evil dude out there, and 3 the second after him. We end up with a 50%-50% spread as well.
In short, bad is the enemy of worse.
If an evil merchant who underpays his employees and overprices his merchandise (see him as a sort of Scrooge figure, just even more douchey) is out in the wilderness, away from the law, and the paladin runs into him and detects him as evil...
The guy doesn't kill people. All he does is treat his employees like s@!$, ignore evil acts that don't affect him, refuse starving men food and mortally wounded children medical attention, and he probably hold some really nasty views on the lower class. But he detects as evil. So, kill?
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Nuke the world let Pharasma deal with it.
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If an evil merchant who underpays his employees and overprices his merchandise (see him as a sort of Scrooge figure, just even more douchey) is out in the wilderness, away from the law, and the paladin runs into him and detects him as evil...
The guy doesn't kill people. All he does is treat his employees like s&@%, ignore evil acts that don't affect him, refuse starving men food and mortally wounded children medical attention, and he probably hold some really nasty views on the lower class. But he detects as evil. So, kill?
My Paladin would try to make him see how much he could help others, perhaps the party could make a quest out of it.
It'll be like "A Christmas Carol" but with less ghosts.
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What? No no, they absolutely do. Evil is Evil man. Less Evil is a Net Good for the multiverse.
On the downside, he'll probably say "just because someone is evil doesn't mean they automatically have to die", so you still lose.That's not true.
Let's say the moral spectrum goes from 1 to 5, with 1 being pure good and 5 pure evil.
Then let's say that there's only 5 people in the universe, one an alignment of 1, another with an alignment of 2, another with an alignment of 3, another with an alignment of 4 and a last one with an alignment of 5.
This would mean there's a 50%-50% spread of good/evil.
If you kill the guy with an alignment of 3... then that's still a 50%-50% spread.
If you kill the guy with an alignment of 5... then the guy with the alignment of 4 becomes the most evil dude out there, and 3 the second after him. We end up with a 50%-50% spread as well.
In short, bad is the enemy of worse.
Thats not how alignment works at all!
Is that on purpose or...?
Evil is evil, Good is good. If you kill an evil person, someone does not magically get eviler. There is no sliding scale of evil. All evil alignments are not exactly in competition with one another in evilness. Lawful Evil is just as evil as Chaotic Evil or Neutral Evil in the game. The only difference is how the individual Evil person feels about the Law/Order axis. For the purposes of how the game treats them, the man who savagely beats his children because he never wanted them is just as evil as the dude about to sacrifice a thousand people to his dark god.
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77. Take them in, raise them as best as one can, then surrender them to the Pathfinder Society as minions to proper adventurers.
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78. Leadership feat
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77. Take them in, raise them as best as one can, then surrender them to the Pathfinder Society as minions to proper adventurers.
80. Raise them as best you can, and enjoy the new bloody skeleton toadies.
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81) Kick your DM for trying to force the paladin/cleric to fall and then suggest a different campaign.
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Kill half and raise half, and insist you're true neutral and just maintaining the balance.
Seriously, whether killing them was right or wrong, raising them is the opposite, and you're safe with this answer.
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83. Declare that your GM is evil for torturing you so, and try to smite him.
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84. Throw them at this week's BBEG and run away while making strange noises, then find the BBEG and kill him while his guard's down because he thinks you're f&!!ing insane now.
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85. Attempt a series of untrained perform(juggling) checks.
86. Apply the swarm template, set them upon BBEG and watch as hilarity and touching moments ensue as he attempts to raise them as his own (Mr. Mom style). Just because you're a BBEG doesn't mean you're a bad parent.
87. Raise them training them with ranks in acrobatics and disguise, give them a trench coat.
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88. Exotic Weapon Proficiency(Goblin Baby)
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I also want to point out that the ARG has Goblins as a playable race,
I'm assuming they meant to write "most are neutral evil or chaotic evil." Even so, like all playable races, you can be of any alignment. Maybe even a Goblin Paladin. What would he do when came upon a bunch of baby goblins?
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89. Thank the DM for giving me something else than mere blocks of HP that I need to cut down for EXP. Then try raising the goblins and hoping for the best.
Seriously, so many murderhobos here want to kick / punch / slap the DM for this scenario. It just seems to show that people don't care for the RP in a Tabletop RPG.
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90. Declare Icyshadow to be evil for raising dangerous monsters to adulthood. Push him off a cliff. Icyshadow falls.
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91: let the druid eat them. It is nature's way to pick off defenseless younglings for easy meals. Else herd animals would not be a thing.
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Raising the goblins could very well be done in a setting like Kingmaker, where there are long downtime periods between some adventures. I guess the vitriolic responses just go to show how narrowminded some folks can be.