:cracks form in the ground and probe-worms erupt forth and swarm over Grundolker making their way into his orifices:
GNNNNN! ("NOOOOO!" when screamed through a mouth clogged with probe-worms)
Chock-irradiates GoatToucher and savours watching him melt into a widening pool of blood and liquefied tissue.
WAAAAAAAAAaaaaa...glop, glop, glub, globbglobbpattersplrrrrrrrr...
Puts a single drop of Oil of Thanatos inside Sissyl's bobble-hat and mittens (just to make sure) and then scampers away.
*Drip!* *Dripdrip!* *Scamperscamperscamper!* "AUUGH!" *Thud* {silence}
Okay, that does it... I am going to do it now, no matter how much it will make me live in infamy.
I drink IHIYC's milk.
Glug glug glug...
.....you want to kill a clown by drinking his carton of moldy milk?
No no no my dear, *greataxe to the head*
After the gruesome (temporary) demise, i reshape on the material plane. However i do from the starting point that is IHIYC's gorge. The sudden expansion creates a gory explosion of gore, bone and flesh.
*BEHOLD, I AM YET AGAIN!*
|
Draight sees the foul red devil explode the clown before him. Draight leaves the devils presence of the ecd(ever-cackling devil) and goes to negotiate with the powers that be.
Seeing the crafty plan of the ecd, he negotiated the return of the clown inside the ecd's left ventricle. Seeing how the two ceaselessly seek the demise of each other, Draight found this solution to be the most simple. Both would 'feel they have the edge of the other' but they would just cycle their existences.
*grins stupidly back on another successful days work in the league of 66er's
|
Seeing and seizing a loophole in Draight's dealing, I wind up returning inside Draight's left ventricle, based on the brilliant technicality that I am NOT a cardiologist, and cannot be held responsible if I can't tell a devil's left ventricle from a wood elf's (especially not THIS wood elf!).
*blahblahblahlegaleseSPLEEORTCH!*
|
Marvellous work, IHIYC! To honour your most recent kill, I shall have a statue made in your glorious visage!
*Throws IHIYC into a vat of molten hot gold, where he briefly screams in agony.*
*Bubble, bubble, AAAAAAGGGGHHH!*
*Later, a brilliant golden statue of IHIYC in his signature pose (I'll let him decide what that is) is erected*
Sneaks up behind Grundolker and pushes into the vat of molten hot gold.
*Attaches GPS device to Krevon then points out his location to the giant winkle whose shell he stole to make his helmet*
"THERE HE IS, SQUOGGSO! GETTIM!"
*SchlupschlupschlupschclupUNGNANGNAGNANGOMOMOM!!*
*Burp*
|
|
After reading this article I know how to slay a Pulg and make a nice little statue of his bowels!
dances about the forum following the instructions
*begins mixing a few pounds of plaster of Paris with a few pounds of cornmeal
*grabs some milk and and mixes it with the powder -- throwing in some chocolate chips for effect[i]
Hhhhhheeeeyyyyyy PULLLLGG!! I've brought you some cookie dough!!
[i]*cackles evilly as Pulg woofs down all the batter
Having now witnessed the creepiest avatar ever on the site, I pull out the shiny red button and push it activating the Planet cracker device. Engaging an anti transport field that envelopes solar system I enjoy the sight of the planet disintegration from within ending the world. Then the fragments of the planet dislodging the other planets from their orbets in a wondrous cascade effect destroying every thing.
Mahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahaaha!!!!
No more clown!
I have GM Scotty committed. I mean, obviously. It isn't death, but who cares?
He'll die running himself into a wall...
I hug Sissyl to death.
|
|
...oh, I'll get you game master scotty...
*grins evilly watching Grundolker consider how to destroy the lesser clown*
While Grundolker is animating a bladed sword, I cast a hypnotic spell on him. It is I who command Grundolker to command IHIYC to kill himself on the nice looking little sword. When the other clown is lifelessly draped over the blade Grundolker mutters "as you command, master" and lays himself onto the sword IHIYC is on.
*grins evilly at his success*
Walking over to acquire the sword he realizes that he has a kabob of sorts. He invites Fantastic Fiend over to have some clown and alien kabob -- hoping to turn a FIEND FANTASTIC into a FANTASTIC FRIEND.
*Portal opens, the fiend steps through*
I have arrived. My, that is a fine kebab you are roasting.
Here, have a fine wine with it. FRIENDHSIP
Unfortunately, the new clown in town is gasping for air at the aquired friendship, he stops breathing.
*Poke, poke*...you ok man?
I will share that is an invalid remark. His secretary hasn't minded working for him, as such she sent me to rid her of her lying brother.
Chainsaws Grundolker do death.
I hit IHIYC in the head with a hammer.
Like, -really- hard.
|
|
is all jacked up on the sweets given to him by IHIYC
Feeling pretty friendly, I offer to share some candy with the GoatFondler who rejects my offering suggesting they were given to me in attempt to kill me.
What!?!? NO WAY!
I cut off goattoucher's hands and then his head with an oversized butter knife.
And I continue to snack on my sugary sweets
Um, no. The clown returns. I pull up in a borrowed suv, pop the top and unleash this until I am sure the clown will not return!
|
|
AHHAHAHHAH I've been waiting for you Game Master Scotty...
returns instantly
Shoots out the tires of GMS's SUV and approaches the gas guzzling vehicle. The door swings open an GMS throws an axe which plants itself squarely in my chest. Paying no mind, the clown offers his remaining candy to GMS. "Perhaps you... would liiike sooomee starbust...sss?"
The clown dies and GMS absconds with the treasure, eating as he leaves. little does he know what a slow killer type II diabetes can be.
The chuckles are for the swamp barracuda to have, for, having cast gentle repose daily for years, no guesses at my undead nature. Eating is simply for the taste and pleasure of the screams. Casting Resurrection on the wicked clown, I allow him to return as an elf.
Then I tie him to a tree, bast the tree in pitch, Ajax and jalapenos and lite it up.
Marsh mellows anyone?
Oh, the peppers are for aroma only, the Ajax gives of pretty colors when burnt.
I take the barracuda by the upper and lower jaw, ripping his head apart.
Sushi is ready.
I have one word for you:
Giant Bananas
Also. I can't count.
Sadly, the android overestimates his strength and allows me to nom him with minimal effort.
Banana girl is force fed her bananas until they can no longer be counted as many as as been consumed.
Then smashed in the head with a hammer!
Too bad the barracuda forgot he can only kill Liranys, and the fact he dies before doing anything to moi.
I stuff a grenade down his throat, disabling any snappy tendencies and plenty of fish guts flying around.
Sadly, the android overestimates his strength and allows me to nom him with minimal effort.
Banana girl is force fed her bananas until they can no longer be counted as many as as been consumed.
Then smashed in the head with a hammer!
Good thing I had that extra stomach installed and that metal cap put under the skin on my head...
Clad all in black, Pulg rappels through the window and replaces Liranys' hat with a vampiric ixitxachitl (attached to a reverse aqualung (aerolung?) so the poor thing doesn't suffocate), then pokes it with a stick and retreats silently back into the night.
I reveal to Lord Voldemort that Pulg is a close relative of Harry Potter. (Waits for the elaborate scene that leads up to a killing curse)
Wow, sumorai-man was ninja'd.
I help world by removing slow stuff.
*Sneaks with nat 20 up to krevon and eviscerates him with his dogslicer*
I nab the fiend bird after his nab, shake him like a rag doll, death roll for a bit to tenderize him. Then I boil him in oil with a little garlic and lemon for flavor and eat him.
Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuurp!
Pardon me.
I catch, scale and fillet GMS while Grundolker is still inside and grill a delicious Scottolker.
As GoatToucher is looking for a shave, i lure him into this inconspicuous barbershop. As he lays down i slice this throat with the classic razor.