Order 66

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Get back in my belly you cheese monster.

Gobbles him up and is stuck in his belly for eternity fighting the Midgard Serpent.

While you now have a case of food poisoning with those two in there, i finish it by casting an uber-powerful spell that makes a meteor crash down upon you.

And just before it hits, I shoot you at them with a trebuchet. Booya!

Sovereign Court

Time to bring back my bionic eye implant! As I rip Sissyl's heart out of her torso, I shoot a massive optic laser blast straight into her face leaving nothing but a hole in her head and chest. Jurassic Kano wins! Fatality!

Scarab Sages

1 person marked this as a favorite.

After spending an hour chanting, playing the one-man-band, and brewing lemon curry on the nearby slope of Mt. Pythian, my invocation is answered by a giant human foot descending from the sky and making a funny rasperry noise as it sqashes Jurassic Bard.

*Clap...clap...clap* +1 on the meter for the jester.

After the great foot has descended, i unleash this albino rabbit (which attacks all but me) unto the clown, and he's being ripped to shreds.

Scarab Sages

I, however, have already taken the liberty of replacing The Fiend Fantastic's customary post-butchery devil's food bon-bons with a box of Spring Surprise.

This has all become one big Spy Vs. Spy strip, hasn't it?

Respawning after the horror of the box of lots of fuzzy and sweet things, i have the clown eat and eat, eat some more and finish it off with a wincy mousy wittle mint, and take cover as he explodes.
No save against it.

Oh i dunno about that.

Scarab Sages

I shove a tape recorder up The Fiend Fantastic's nose.

I send a group of Hell's Grannies to kick the living s!@& out of IHIYC.
RIP you clown.

I make sure TFF tromped in monsieur's bucket. The bucket with acid vomit.

You find IHIYC in YOUR closet and he eats you.

Scarab Sages

I post a scathing review of krevon's terrible restaurant on consumerreports.org (there is such a thing as excessively-fresh shellfish, you know!), and he dies of mass public humiliation.

I put a thermal detonator in the clowns mouth, tape it shut and take cover.

I use a clown-a-polt to launch IHIYC into Wylliam Harrison's cover.

Sovereign Court

I get a big hammer and smash krevon's head like a melon!

Scarab Sages

I give Jurassic Bard a big, refreshing (cement) milkshake.

Dark Archive

I switch their shakes.


I lock Cr500cricket in a cage as a pet for all eternity. Or until I forget to feed him.

Dark Archive

Teleports out and Teleports Sinblade into Nocticula's bed.

I shank the cricket into bitty pieces.

I leave a barrel of pickles salted with cyanide next to TPOZ and let the inevitable happen.

Game Master Scotty just realized he is a player in a much bigger game and according to the tables he has just failed against a random death effect

Sovereign Court

I dig my clawed hand into krevon's back and rip his spine out, then I smash his head in with his spine.

I ram a cement truck slide down the rex's throat, pull the dump lever and force feed concrete into his stomach, throat. and bowels.

I let the hardening concrete bring about a painful, uncomfortable end.

Sovereign Court

Then the car bomb in the truck's engine goes off.

I sip from my afternoon tea, applauding Orthos' deceit.

After which i use a garrot wire to slice his throat.

"I banish thee fiend back to Hell. For vandalizing the sidewalk with LBO's blood.

Scarab Sages

1 person marked this as a favorite.

I go on a Carmen Sandiego-league crime spree, making off with the Pyramids of Giza, Angkor Wat, several Diego Rivera murals and Faberge eggs, and the Van Allen Belt. The Vandalism Officer dies of a stroke.

Grand Lodge

I quietly lock the closet.

Then I silently creep out the house and burn the whole thing to the ground.

*slaps hands together*
"whelp, that wasn't so bad"

Dark Archive

The burning building attracts the hellwasps from the nest I planted nearby. Draight is swarmed and incapacitated, then dragged back to the nest to feed the young.

... okay it's not my usual MO but the place is a bit far away from the freeway.

Sovereign Court

I come at AJC with a giant eraser! Mwahaha!

I present the Dinosaur with a candy.
Little does he know as h gulps it down it's a giant bomb, creating a gargantuan *splash* of falling flesh and bones.

Grand Lodge

I offer wylliam some earplugs to protect his sensitive ears when doing his bomb 'thing'. I then climb into an eco-friendly steamroller and slowly drive over William a few times. He doesn't see it coming because he is clearly blind. I then mourn the loss of my earplugs

I rewrite Wonderdog's code and have him maul Draight to death, as a proxy for the horror he endured with the Blue Falcon.

Scarab Sages

I summon Long John Silver to reel in and deep-fry Game Master Scotty, whom I then serve the to Bleached Otyugh.

I eat both deep fried gloffy food and clowny food.

Scarab Sages

Remember that International Dentistry Conspiracy from a while back? I tell them where you are...and how you still have such nice teeth....

I run away and hide from evil hurty-bad people and finish up my chewing quickly so the food screams don't give away my hideout.

Scarab Sages

Too late - I'd left a magic mouth spell where they could easily find it before you could finish.

In other news, I demonstrate a use for the magic mouth spell!

Sovereign Court

I whip out a bog-standed handgun and shoot IHIYC in the head.

Scarab Sages

Three Words: Portable Tar Pit.

Grand Lodge

That clown seems to never die - it has posted more than anyone. This makes me think there are a large number of order 66 failures out there. I take my job seriously getting this order so I will work to solve this problem. I used a rare poison I was given by a rogue buddy of mine which I tried out on a number of other posters on this thread (and they have since not returned). Fear not, this vile beast will likely post again -- but take comfort in the fact that he will perish in the not-to-distant-future.

successfully yours,

Noting Draight kill stealing the clown from the fish, I bite of his arms and legs, stuff him into a barrel, weld it closed, tie 20 tons of lead weight to it, drop him in the ocean where the tide take him to the realm of Mighty Dagon and he is devoured.

Grand Lodge

The gods take pity on me and sew me back together using bird parts in place of the pieces ruined by game master Scottys harsh actions. Seeking retribution he wraps Scotty in tin foil and pour in equal parts molten lava and acid.

Draight hasn't finished the kill yet, and so i chop his head off with this mighty shiny greatsword.

Sovereign Court

Marvellous work, boss! :-) Later, I take TFF to a bar where we have a drinking contest. He won but alas died of alcohol poisoning.

+2 points for the Bard's popularity meter.

But by drinking myself to death (for now), i make Jurassic Bard laugh so hard he dies from lack of oxygen.

Grand Lodge

Fiend Fantastic mistook a wart on my elbow for my head in his fervor for a simple kill and only managed to help me by scraping it off in his 'head chopping' -- poor lad. I was astonished to find that both the little dinosaur and inept killer managed to slay each other before I was able to seal a victory. Given the order66 for the Fantastic Fiend, who is dead...again (lettuce get a kill count), I simply push the order aside and slip away into the forest with nothing but a scratch on my elbow and the knowledge that both the little dinosaur and the cackling-demon who cackles-no-more are both dead.

I am aware they will both come for me (as no one appears to really die in this thread) so I visit a magician friend of mine who specializes in deceiving both tiny dinosaurs and happy demons. He casts a spell on me that allows me to be undefeated no matter the narrative they conceive. I giggle softly to myself and pour a bit out for them and their future attempts.

Sovereign Court

I try to shoot Draight in the head with the same gun I used on IHIYC but the barrel gets jammed. As I start panicking, he snatches the gun from me and just before he kills me the gun explodes, causing the bullets to fly backwards into his blackened face. I nervously laugh, rather uncontrollably, as slumps to the floor.

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