Order 66


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:cracks form in the ground and probe-worms erupt forth and swarm over Grundolker making their way into his orifices:

GNNNNN! ("NOOOOO!" when screamed through a mouth clogged with probe-worms)


Chock-irradiates GoatToucher and savours watching him melt into a widening pool of blood and liquefied tissue.

WAAAAAAAAAaaaaa...glop, glop, glub, globbglobbpattersplrrrrrrrr...


Puts a single drop of Oil of Thanatos inside Sissyl's bobble-hat and mittens (just to make sure) and then scampers away.

*Drip!* *Dripdrip!* *Scamperscamperscamper!* "AUUGH!" *Thud* {silence}

Scarab Sages

In lieu of a Batman-esque soud effect, an entire video clip - IT'S MULTIMEDIA TIME!

I send Pulg to get a much-needed shave at the same place this guy gets his.


Okay, that does it... I am going to do it now, no matter how much it will make me live in infamy.

I drink IHIYC's milk.

Glug glug glug...

Scarab Sages

Don't forget your cookies! I got them fresh this morning...from a Dwarven bakery.

I unleash a hail of of razor-edged Dwarf cookies (with chocolate chips strategically-placed to add weight and force!).

ZINGZINGZINGZINGZINGZINGZINGZING!!!

Sissyl sashimi, anyone?


.....you want to kill a clown by drinking his carton of moldy milk?

No no no my dear, *greataxe to the head*

Scarab Sages

Hello, old Fiend. It would seem got clowns to the left of you and jokers to your right. You're...STUCK IN A TRASH COMPACTOR!

*VRRRMKREEEEEGCRRSSHHHHSPBBBBBLLSHHHT!*


That brings that scene from Jackie Chan's "Rumble in the Bronx" to mind, where the mob put that one biker down the shredder. Was that a deliberate reference, ser jester?

After the gruesome (temporary) demise, i reshape on the material plane. However i do from the starting point that is IHIYC's gorge. The sudden expansion creates a gory explosion of gore, bone and flesh.

*BEHOLD, I AM YET AGAIN!*

Grand Lodge

Draight sees the foul red devil explode the clown before him. Draight leaves the devils presence of the ecd(ever-cackling devil) and goes to negotiate with the powers that be.

Seeing the crafty plan of the ecd, he negotiated the return of the clown inside the ecd's left ventricle. Seeing how the two ceaselessly seek the demise of each other, Draight found this solution to be the most simple. Both would 'feel they have the edge of the other' but they would just cycle their existences.

*grins stupidly back on another successful days work in the league of 66er's

Scarab Sages

Seeing and seizing a loophole in Draight's dealing, I wind up returning inside Draight's left ventricle, based on the brilliant technicality that I am NOT a cardiologist, and cannot be held responsible if I can't tell a devil's left ventricle from a wood elf's (especially not THIS wood elf!).

*blahblahblahlegaleseSPLEEORTCH!*

And no, The Fiend Fantastic. I've never seen that movie.

Sovereign Court

Marvellous work, IHIYC! To honour your most recent kill, I shall have a statue made in your glorious visage!

*Throws IHIYC into a vat of molten hot gold, where he briefly screams in agony.*

*Bubble, bubble, AAAAAAGGGGHHH!*

*Later, a brilliant golden statue of IHIYC in his signature pose (I'll let him decide what that is) is erected*


Sneaks up behind Grundolker and pushes into the vat of molten hot gold.


*Attaches GPS device to Krevon then points out his location to the giant winkle whose shell he stole to make his helmet*

"THERE HE IS, SQUOGGSO! GETTIM!"

*SchlupschlupschlupschclupUNGNANGNAGNANGOMOMOM!!*

*Burp*

Sovereign Court

After reading this article I know how to slay a Pulg and make a nice little statue of his bowels!

dances about the forum following the instructions

*begins mixing a few pounds of plaster of Paris with a few pounds of cornmeal

*grabs some milk and and mixes it with the powder -- throwing in some chocolate chips for effect[i]

Hhhhhheeeeyyyyyy PULLLLGG!! I've brought you some cookie dough!!

[i]*cackles evilly as Pulg woofs down all the batter


Having now witnessed the creepiest avatar ever on the site, I pull out the shiny red button and push it activating the Planet cracker device. Engaging an anti transport field that envelopes solar system I enjoy the sight of the planet disintegration from within ending the world. Then the fragments of the planet dislodging the other planets from their orbets in a wondrous cascade effect destroying every thing.

Mahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahaaha!!!!

No more clown!


I have GM Scotty committed. I mean, obviously. It isn't death, but who cares?


He'll die running himself into a wall...

I hug Sissyl to death.

Scarab Sages

I toss the Fiend Fantastic into a washing machine, along with a few suits of full plate armor and a capful of holy detergent.

*tumbletumbletumbleCLANKACLANKACLANKAsquishsquishqsuishbuuuuuurrrrrnnnn*

Sovereign Court

I cast a powerful hypnotic spell on IHIYC, and tell him to stand still.
*Creates a jagged bladed sword that floats in the air.*
"IHIYC move forward into the sword's blade with your mouth open. "
*IHIYC walks forwards and'eats' the sword which impales him.*


BEUNO!!! I defeat Grunolker with the power of perversion

Sovereign Court

...oh, I'll get you game master scotty...

*grins evilly watching Grundolker consider how to destroy the lesser clown*

While Grundolker is animating a bladed sword, I cast a hypnotic spell on him. It is I who command Grundolker to command IHIYC to kill himself on the nice looking little sword. When the other clown is lifelessly draped over the blade Grundolker mutters "as you command, master" and lays himself onto the sword IHIYC is on.

*grins evilly at his success*

Walking over to acquire the sword he realizes that he has a kabob of sorts. He invites Fantastic Fiend over to have some clown and alien kabob -- hoping to turn a FIEND FANTASTIC into a FANTASTIC FRIEND.


*Portal opens, the fiend steps through*

I have arrived. My, that is a fine kebab you are roasting.
Here, have a fine wine with it. FRIENDHSIP

Unfortunately, the new clown in town is gasping for air at the aquired friendship, he stops breathing.

*Poke, poke*...you ok man?

Sovereign Court

"Mail for TFF!"

*Pulls out a rocket launcher and blows TFF to bits.*

"That's from your succubus secretary, aka my sister! "


I will share that is an invalid remark. His secretary hasn't minded working for him, as such she sent me to rid her of her lying brother.

Chainsaws Grundolker do death.

Grand Lodge

An arrow appears in Wylliam Harrison's eyesocket and he keels over

Draight steps out from the brush as the chainsaw Wylliam was holding purrs quiet

Grand Lodge

charmed by unnatural magic Draight's animal companion darts out of the woods and eats Draights face off. In the process, Draight runs the wolf through.

both die unceremoniously

Sovereign Court

To the clown goes the spoils!

grins evilly

Scarab Sages

I am content to wait patiently as The New Clown in Town's obviously-abysmal dental hygiene condemns him to fatal heart disease - I also give him generous amounts of candy, pork, and fairground food to speed the process along, of course.


I hit IHIYC in the head with a hammer.

Like, -really- hard.

Sovereign Court

is all jacked up on the sweets given to him by IHIYC

Feeling pretty friendly, I offer to share some candy with the GoatFondler who rejects my offering suggesting they were given to me in attempt to kill me.

What!?!? NO WAY!

I cut off goattoucher's hands and then his head with an oversized butter knife.

And I continue to snack on my sugary sweets


Um, no. The clown returns. I pull up in a borrowed suv, pop the top and unleash this until I am sure the clown will not return!

Sovereign Court

AHHAHAHHAH I've been waiting for you Game Master Scotty...

returns instantly

Shoots out the tires of GMS's SUV and approaches the gas guzzling vehicle. The door swings open an GMS throws an axe which plants itself squarely in my chest. Paying no mind, the clown offers his remaining candy to GMS. "Perhaps you... would liiike sooomee starbust...sss?"

The clown dies and GMS absconds with the treasure, eating as he leaves. little does he know what a slow killer type II diabetes can be.


The chuckles are for the swamp barracuda to have, for, having cast gentle repose daily for years, no guesses at my undead nature. Eating is simply for the taste and pleasure of the screams. Casting Resurrection on the wicked clown, I allow him to return as an elf.

Then I tie him to a tree, bast the tree in pitch, Ajax and jalapenos and lite it up.

Marsh mellows anyone?

Oh, the peppers are for aroma only, the Ajax gives of pretty colors when burnt.


I take the barracuda by the upper and lower jaw, ripping his head apart.

Sushi is ready.


I have one word for you:

Giant Bananas

Also. I can't count.


Sadly, the android overestimates his strength and allows me to nom him with minimal effort.

Banana girl is force fed her bananas until they can no longer be counted as many as as been consumed.

Then smashed in the head with a hammer!


Too bad the barracuda forgot he can only kill Liranys, and the fact he dies before doing anything to moi.

I stuff a grenade down his throat, disabling any snappy tendencies and plenty of fish guts flying around.


Game Master Scotty wrote:

Sadly, the android overestimates his strength and allows me to nom him with minimal effort.

Banana girl is force fed her bananas until they can no longer be counted as many as as been consumed.

Then smashed in the head with a hammer!

Good thing I had that extra stomach installed and that metal cap put under the skin on my head...


Clad all in black, Pulg rappels through the window and replaces Liranys' hat with a vampiric ixitxachitl (attached to a reverse aqualung (aerolung?) so the poor thing doesn't suffocate), then pokes it with a stick and retreats silently back into the night.

Scarab Sages

Nice nose, Pulg - the porcine design makes it easy for me to shove a long metal hook up one of your nostrils and extract your brains in the Ancient Egyptian fashion.

SSSCCCHHHLLLLLLRRRRRP!


I reveal to Lord Voldemort that Pulg is a close relative of Harry Potter. (Waits for the elaborate scene that leads up to a killing curse)


Wow, sumorai-man was ninja'd.

I help world by removing slow stuff.
*Sneaks with nat 20 up to krevon and eviscerates him with his dogslicer*

Grand Lodge

I plant evidence that Poog has been daring to write things down, and leave his fellow goblins to do the deed for me.

Sovereign Court

*Transforms into a great predatory bird that specifically eats other predatory birds and waits for Arutema to fly by before swooping down and seizing the unfortunate owl in my talons.*

*Raaawwaarrrkk!*


I nab the fiend bird after his nab, shake him like a rag doll, death roll for a bit to tenderize him. Then I boil him in oil with a little garlic and lemon for flavor and eat him.

Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuurp!

Pardon me.


I catch, scale and fillet GMS while Grundolker is still inside and grill a delicious Scottolker.


As GoatToucher is looking for a shave, i lure him into this inconspicuous barbershop. As he lays down i slice this throat with the classic razor.

Scarab Sages

Superglue-cream pie to The Fiend Fantastic's face! He suffocates pretty quickly.

Sovereign Court

*Transforms once again into goro, then with all four arms I tear IHIYC's skin and muscle off of him leaving only a slightly bloody skeleton to flop onto the floor.*

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