Order 66

Forum Games

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Better believe it Draight, nobody truly dies in the thread. Hahaha

I shoot a ballista bolt into JUrassic Bard's ear, it comes out the other way and he drops dead.

Feeling refreshed and exfoliated after my spa time, I bolo TFF's legs, tie him to a plank, turn it upside down and immerse his head in holy water.

Grand Lodge

unsure about how this works I step up reenergized by the tiny dinosaurs attempt. I cut the horns off the not so fantastic friend and grind it up selling it to some wandering fools. I then grind down his teeth and carry it with me to use at my own personal toothpaste. I leave the rest to follow me as I continue on my slaughter of unfinished deeds. I then look at the order in my hand. Another f!!&ing dinosaur? Too easy. I cut off its head with a butter knife I took from fantastic fiends pocket and begin to jimmy out hits teeth -- more toothpaste... Game Master Scotty appears to be out of his element as I'm his game master now... I brain storm various things I could do with his corpse and conclude the best would be to stuff it into the worthless bard's belly I saw earlier. He was also a dinosaur -- it seems fitting that one inept killer ought be shoved into the other.

I look back at the tiny dead bard dinosaur stuffed with game master scotty and grin to myself. I think I'm understanding how this works...

Having played under a guy who works for TPK games, and considers death an appropriate award for hard work, I chuckle at mearly being stuffed into a dinosaur belly and I chew my way out of the Rex belly. I then hire a legion of Pirate-Ninjas to dice, slice and dose with rum my next meal, Draight. Medium well please. Then...


urp..excuse me!

Grand Lodge

finding it fascinating how well my magician's friend spell worked, I step out of the woods to notice the inept game master clawing his way out of the gut of the other dinosaur. I watch as his commands a legion of Pirate-Ninjas -- a truly tragic combination of fantasy fiction -- hack at a clone of myself. I watch as the joyful 'GM Scotty' chokes down a clone, of which, was neither tainted nor marred.

"I hope you enjoyed your snack" I mumble as I draw my sword.

Terror appears in game master scotty's eyes and he begins to gag on an otherwise pleasant meal.

"Fear not, tragic being of a bygone era, I come to return you from whence you belong."

Without effort and lacking in dramatic description I will summarize the fate of the lesser small dinosaur below:

I'm not certain if this is the worst dragon ever fought or he was frightened to see me beside him. He sat there, awestruck, as I removed his teeth -- filing them down as done in previous victories. Not sure how this becomes tooth paste, I continue the practice and add it to the vial I keep in may bag labeled "victim's teeth paste". Once completed I take a step back and listen as the toothless GM narrates a number of other stories of fanciful legions (such as bird-dogs, cowboy turtles, and ninja-pirates) come to seek vengeance.

I grin and put the poor sap out of his misery and stuff it back within the other small dinosaur.

"there you go little guy"

Scarab Sages

Having been a personal acquaintance of the late, great Stirling Colgate, I contact and bind with his spirit via Pact Magic, giving me the power to transmute toothpaste into an incredibly powerful and volatile explosive. Say, Mr. Draight? What's in that bag you're carrying around? You don't say....

Grand Lodge

glancing down at my paste made of teeth and back up at this clearly insane clown I suggest this 'tooth paste' shares very little resemblance to to toothpaste that bears the same name as this Mr. Colgate. This paste is formed from tooth powder and saliva -- I'm not even sure why I carry it around -- I think it has something to do with leaving my victims speechless...but I digress.

You say you have acquired the ability to transmute toothpaste into an explosive? I'm afraid this skill has little application to me or my tooth paste.

*a paper is slipped into my hands bearing the words Order 66: Clownman* -- you don't say...

Scarab Sages

Watching somewhat astonished as Draight tries to negate my kill rather than be rather more proactive, I am content to give him a knowing grin and stand around waiting for a few seconds before an armored knight with poor posture saunters up to him and hits him over the head with a rubber chicken...which was also filled with an EXTREMELY volatile mixture of Crelm toothpaste and Shrill petrol.

Sovereign Court

I pounce on to IHIYC's back and wrestle him to the ground, then I bash his head in with a rock and eat him.

Sovereign Court

Before anyone can react, I bash my own head in with a rock.

Scarab Sages

I cast animate dead on Jurassic Bard, ordering his zombie to kill whomever comes next.

Which is why i pushed forward that cleric of Pharasma....ah the irony.

I cast command undead and it then eats up the clown, while i take the portal away from the scene.

Scarab Sages

I fight my way up the zombie dinosaur's gullet long enough to look out and cast scramble portal on The Fiend Fantastic's getaway warp - he finds himself marooned in the Chaotic Good-aligned plane of Olympis/Arborea/Elysium/San Francisco.

Sovereign Court

I push the clown back down my gullet.

Grand Lodge

I cut the head off Jurassic Bard and as the blood spewing body flops to the ground I see the clown emerge from the lifeless body.. Knowing my order only requires the dinosaurs death, I manage a shrug before hacking the clown into tiny steak-sized portions. These two were too easy

Grand Lodge

nom, nom, nom *eating a clown steak*

BAD DOG! If you post after him you're to kill your owner. :)

Hence i shall clean up both of you......*takes out double barrel rammington, S-Mart's Top of thee line.*


Now, to feed the corpses to the pit of sacrifice.
(Which is ineffective against devils and other evil outsiders)

Scarab Sages

The Pit of Sacrifice may be no threat to you, but I daresay the Pit of the Almighty Sarlacc is another story *Force push*!

"Dear Sarlacc Journal," It writes. "Today was a good day...."

Sovereign Court

For crossing my master I Jurassic Bard, TFF's enforcer and executioner, stake you out (by way of impaling your limbs) then I carve out your heart in true Aztec style! Afterwards, I offer your still beating heart to TFF.

Scarab Sages

I screw with the conveniently-nearby Aztec calendar so that Quetzalcoatl's sign is in the sky - only fruit and flowers are allowed as sacrifices during this period, and so for his act of blasphemy, Jurassic Bard is abruptly smote from on high by a sudden, brutal pillar of Venusian atmosphere.

Having seen far into the future, I take cover when my Aboleth buddies tire of the none gill creatures.

Pulling a great asteroid from the black sky it impacts IHIYC at 25,000 mph vaporizing him and the other mouth breathers.

Scarab Sages

1 person marked this as a favorite.

You know, Bleached Otyugh actually had a really good idea a while back - I use my "head tentacles" to eat you.

Poog shove some bombs down clownthroat and run while he goes BOOM!

Sovereign Court

I draw out a sword and slash Poog's left arm off at the elbow, I do the same with his right arm. Next, I cut off both of his legs at the knees, then I sever his head off his body and finally slice Poog's head in half. Afterwards, I plunge my sword into Poog's lifeless (and of course, headless) body.

Dino mess up Monty Python with Mortal Kombat 9 scorpion fatality.
Fatality spectacular, yes, Poog now stabby dino with uber-neurotoxin and dino die horrible death.

Poog go celebrate new dinosaur-toe souvernir.

Scarab Sages

I strap "THE" Poog of Zarongel into a Clockwork Orange-style apparatus and subject him to a full episode of My Little Pony. He dies of terror.


I haunts the clown's dreams so he dies of fear.

Sovereign Court

Time for my trusty vacuum cleaner! *Sucks up Poog to the ghost busters theme song.* Now to empty the bag! *Uses a special machine to transport Poog's soul from the vacuum bag and into a black hole.*

Scarab Sages

I whip out my Cosmic Lasso to wrangle the white hole that that black hole connects to, and park it behind Jurassic Bard. The force from the white hole summarily pushes him past the event horizon and down into the black hole...spitting him out the white hole...back into the black hole, in a Portal-style infinite loop.

I detonate the infinite loop of holes with a whole pound of C4. Should take care of clowns too.

Sovereign Court

I envoke a ritual that causes Sissyl's hat to close up around her head and crushes her skull.

I leave a tainted Anklyosaurus carcass where JB can find it. After eating it, he contracts a a terminal cast of the Shrieking Poops and "eliminates" himself to death, all the while desperately trying to clutch at his tortured nether regions with his tiny arms.

Sovereign Court

*Shape shift into Goro. Grab GoatToucher and hoist him up off the ground, rip off his limbs one at a time, turn him upside down, smash his head into a bloody pulp on the ground, then tear his body in two.* Fatality!

This thread is very much like mortal kombat (as we keep killing each other in horrible fashion and we don't stay dead).

I know right? For example if i cleave you with this great bastard sword.

*Cleave....sickening shlick sound*....
Very much dead, but it's a mere matter of time.

Scarab Sages

I infiltrate the Celestial Bureaucracy and screw with the Inhuman Resources Department's files.

Go to Heaven, The Fiend Fantastic. Do not pass Go. Do not collect 200 Legions of Spirits.

Morphing my fins into hands I empty my mossberg 500 into IHIYC and his closet, hot racking shells into the breach until I'm presented with a slurry of creepy, happyish salsa. Liberally apply jalapeno and serve with warm chips! Enjoy!

Scarab Sages

I don't get mad. I recognize Game Master Scotty's aberrant behavior for what it is: An all-too-understandable panic reaction in the face of global warming's destruction of ocean habitats worldwide. I magnanimously relocate him to waters that may now be better suited to his kind: The Fukushima Bay Area.

Grand Lodge

Draight stifles a laugh as the clown's eyes glaze over -- he must be having a nice day dream about that dinosaur he's staring at -- a big drop os spittle trickles down the clowns face. I tiptoe up to him and inject him with mercury. I'm not sure if this will kill you but I'm pretty sure that the glazed look in your eyes won't be leaving anytime soon

Scarab Sages

My head suddenly jerks upward, and I look right at Draight - it turns out my eyes were glazing over because they were in the process of transmuting into eyeball-bullets - KABLAM!

Okay, let's test-run a new rule: A Batman-style sound effect to go with each kill!

Grand Lodge

Draight is shocked by the lightening fast reflexes of clown man.
The clown's eyes appear to pivot in the clowns skull aiming right at Draight!
The clown's ugly mug explodes.

"what a time for a misfire..." Draight suggests smugly and pulls out a cigarette. Get'm dog

Grand Lodge

Nom NOM nom NOMmmmm

* Draight's animal companion eats at the clowns remains

A simple disintigrate is all that's needed for Draight & his puppy.

Sovereign Court

While going to execute a bozo who was stupid enough to try and steal TFF's wallet, I swing the axe so hard it flies out of my hands!
And into TFF's head. As his body slumps to the floor, I look on in complete shock and horror.

Dark Archive

*nothing to see here, just a terribly sick diseased rat*

*the rat scurries across the ground*

"RaawwwwWRRrrrrrr!" the Jurassic Bard wimpers before eating the rats

*the diseased rat leaves the Jurassic Bard feeling TERRIBLE *

Enjoying my new found bath I..gerrr...arrr..


grow grow grow GROW

Now Kaiju sized, I breath my new radioative breath weapon on the rat and the surrounding town, while jamming out to Blue Oyster Cult.

Searing fire effects!!!

Thanks for the upgrade IHIYC!!!

Sovereign Court

I form a heroic version of the Mighty Morphing Mutants (with myself as 'red mutant') and then we summon a powerful megazord to destroy GMS and end his evil threat once and for all!

Scarab Sages

Uh, mike check? Seems like the sound's disappeared - wanna see me make this pencil disappear too?

*BDDDDDT!* (sound of pencil hitting table point-first)

*SCWHUMP* (sound of Grundolker hitting pencil eye socket-first)


Suddenly, Pulg, travelling though a rift in the luminiferous aethyr and materialising behind IHIYC, rips the protrusions off his antagonist's hat and stuffs them up his nose, choking him.

I do not know what sound would best represent ripping up a clown's plush headgear and suffocating him with it. Possibly HHHRRP! HHHRP! HRRRP! SCHMSHCNGNCHKH UKHUKHUKHNNNGH! . Possibly not.

The composed one approaches Pulg as he's choking the clow and aims his 1-20 critical x10 blaster rifle and pulls the trigger.

Impact like the cricket from MIB, no recoil and a whole lot messier.

Sovereign Court

Tendrils of shadow swirl up from the ground and wrap around Wylliam tightly. Then, they crush him!

*whatever sounds an android makes when getting crushed*

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