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Sovereign Court

*FRIGHTENING ROAR!*

*Whether Vidmaster7 is scared or not, all of his hair falls off.*


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I almost forgot; start eating mint leaves every day to take care of that halitosis problem.


What about my *other problem?*


If you mean your *little problem, there is nothing to be done.


Cousin Ithsp'yythiluul did offer him a tentacle graft...

Sovereign Court

Now, now, Dr G House, I'm sure that Trillion's breath isn't that bad.

*Looks at all three of the Three-Headed Lion's mouths.*

On second thought, maybe it WASN'T the loud roar which made Vidmaster7 to bald.

Sovereign Court

A what is this about a "tentacle graft"?

*Malvel whispers about Comte de Malodor's "problem".*

Oh... I see...

*Goes pale-faced before vomiting.*


That breath was rough and I ain't lion...


Ouch, I am in pain.

Sovereign Court

Well, that's what you get for not looking where you're going and slipping on vomit!

Seriously, why has no-one used Pulg (like the mop he is) to clean up yet?


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Because, despite rumours to the contrary, dandruff does not have antibacterial qualities.


Aye unfortunately.

Sovereign Court

Don't worry, I've got a solution to the problem!

*Throws a bucketful of GoatToucher brand antibacterial cleaner over the area of vomit.*

Now we wait for about 20 minutes

*After 20 minutes have passed, grabs Pulg and Vidmaster7, then uses them as mops.*

With all that now done, everything is good as new!

*Vidmaster7 and Pulg quickly find out that GoatToucher brand antibacterial cleaner is no different than being dunked into a vat of super strong sulphuric acid.*


That's often the only way to get rid of the stuff if you've put on too much Brylcreem.


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Panter Flauclaws wrote:


*Vidmaster7 and Pulg quickly find out that GoatToucher brand antibacterial cleaner is no different than being dunked into a vat of super strong sulphuric acid.*

"For that deep, deep clean!"

Sovereign Court

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GoatToucher brand products, the sort of thing you don't want but must have!


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:scene: a woman cleaning her kitchen counter:

Disembodied Announcer Voice: Do -you- use GoatToucher Brand cleaning products?

Woman: :looking around, confused, unable to locate the source of the voice: N... No?

DAV: :clucks tongue: Hmm... Not the choice I would make...

W: :drops cleaning cloth, backing towards door: No... God, NO!

:woman breaks into a desperate run, initiating a montage of her running, overcoming obstacles, entering the store, purchasing a bottle of GoatToucher Brand Household Cleanser [gratuitous product face shot], and racing home. She sobs and weeps fearfully throughout:

:scene: the woman, ragged and weeping, bursts into her kitchen and places the bottle in the counter, backing away cautiously:

DAV: There. Isn't that better?

:the woman, back against the wall, slides down to the floor and begins to break down:

DAV: I said, "Isn't that better?"

W: :nodding: Yes... Yes, that's better. So much better.

:GoatToucher Brand logo appears on screen:

DAV: GoatToucher Brand Household Cleaner: I think you'd better get some before something happens... Don't you?

Sovereign Court

*Frowns.*

We did THIS particular advert a good two million times, and THAT was the BEST one!

*Shakes head slowly, not sure what to think of do.*

They ALWAYS scream and run, I just don't understand, it's not in the script!

*Holds out the script, for everyone to see.*

After the voice says "not the choice I would make", then there's supposed to be some GoatToucher brand jelly-paint spilled onto the carpet (to give the impression of baby vomit), then it's the typical "oh no! What do I do?" This when GoatToucher comes on screen and shows how the cleaning product works. After that, THEN the advert closes with the tagline. Nowhere in the script does it say: "drop the plate, act like you are in horror movie, actually BUY the product, then slump denouncing all hope and joy"! Actors and actresses these days, their just not worth the money!

*Sighs.*

I mean, for goodness sake, GoatToucher is so charming and friendly!


Are you sure you have met the actual GoatToucher?

Sovereign Court

Trust me, when it comes to adverts, you'd never suspect that he has a workroom.

Sovereign Court

Maybe people just get scared of that tongue clucking he does. Maybe?


Hmm seems You guys made Pulg a bleach blond now. It's a good look.


H'mm. I think I look like Bonnie Tyler's pubic hair, but maybe that's no bad thing.


Hey Bonnie Tyler Then you would be the best... better then all the rest...
Better than anyone
Anyone I ever met
I'm stuck on your heart
I hang on every word you said
Tear us apart
Baby I would rather be dead
Deep in your heart

Sovereign Court

*In a derpy voice.*

I thought it was Witney Houston.


And IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIII will always love YYYOOUUUOUUOUOOOO.


Come and give me a hug.

Sovereign Court

And so began a most amusing battle, where Partylf Sunev tried to eat Vidmaster7.

And where Vidmaster7's beard tried to eat Partylf Sunev.


You know what we need right now?

We need a hero.


Where have all the good men gone and where are all the gods?
Where's the streetwise Hercules to fight the rising odds?
Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?
Late at night I toss and I turn, and I dream of what I need

I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero 'till the end of the night
He's gotta be strong, and he's gotta be fast
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero 'till the morning light
He's gotta be sure, and it's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life!


We have some reports of way too many 80's songs being used here. Please move along or will be forced to reprimand you. Move along Move along.


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But I want to know what love is!


Pulg wrote:
But I want to know what love is!

Mr Pulg this is quite irregular. I must insist you cease and desist from further 80s song references immeadiately.

Sovereign Court

Isn't "Office of Redundancy" a little... Redundant?


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Office of Redunancy wrote:
Pulg wrote:
But I want to know what love is!
Mr Pulg this is quite irregular. I must insist you cease and desist from further 80s song references immeadiately.

Here I go again - don't stop me now!


Pulg wrote:
Office of Redunancy wrote:
Pulg wrote:
But I want to know what love is!
Mr Pulg this is quite irregular. I must insist you cease and desist from further 80s song references immeadiately.

Here I go again - don't stop me now!

I approve pulg you go right ahead and "push it push it real good"

Because "everyone wants to rule the world" but "you are just livin' on a prayer." Just make sure you "wake me up before you go go".


I'm puuuushing it!!!


HHHUSBANT, NOT GOOD ENOUGH! TRY HARDER!!!


Well "sweet dreams (They are made of this)" don't ya know?


Count Reiner Heydrich wrote:
Trust me, when it comes to adverts, you'd never suspect that he has a workroom.

I don't know that this is true. People/creatures/unknowable forces from beyond seem to have an instinctive sense of what I am about. How dedicated I am to learning. Many of them find my presence disturbing on a fundamental level they cannot explain.

It is wonderful.

Sovereign Court

And explains why people just scream and run, even when you don't do anything!


Okay, you have met GoatToucher.

Sovereign Court

You thought otherwise?


To know him is to love him.

Sovereign Court

I wouldn't say that, because I don't think ANY of us truly know GoatToucher.

And nor would we want to!


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Now you're getting it.

Sovereign Court

*Opens.*

*The lights are then snuffed out.*

*Hideous, gurgling laughter (or maybe it's just Fester Addams using mouthwash).*


Nope. Mummy's been eating candied gnomes before bedtime again.


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Alphonse! Really!

Sovereign Court

Ah, it is good to know that the Malodor family is still with us.

I half expected Comte de Malodor to be dead and buried, but don't we all?

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