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Un-Bear-able Puns's page

226 posts. Alias of Vidmaster7.


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gran rey de los mono wrote:
You writing a book? Now that's riveting television.

Riveting eh? Should we call it steel miners son?


That breath was rough and I ain't lion...


4 people marked this as a favorite.

Lifting a bear while beary possible may not be recommended. It may seem easy but can be very grizzly work. Even if you meet the koalafication.

Also they will straight up eat you.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
gran rey de los mono wrote:
I went to a horse ranch the other day. The man showing me around gestured at some horses in a building. He said "These are the stables." Then he gestured at some horses in a pen far from everything else. One of them exploded. He said "And those are the unstables."

Would make for one dynamite horse show.


LizardMage wrote:
A book solely dedicated to dragons, dragon mechanics, draconic character options. Essentially a Pathfinder version of a Draconomicon

How about one detailing dragon recipes the draconomnomicon.


2 people marked this as a favorite.
gran rey de los mono wrote:

Do you know how to catch a polar bear? It's easy.

1. Find a frozen lake.
2. Cut a hole in the ice.
3. Sprinkle peas around the hole.
4. Hide.
5. When a polar bear comes to take a pea, you kick it in the ice hole.

... That's cold...


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So your saying its kraken you up?


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Unicore wrote:
how has no one made an AC/DC joke yet?

I'm going to need you to put a "Warning High voltage" sign on that comment.

If you gave me a call I would get that dirty deed done dirt cheap.


7 people marked this as a favorite.
TriOmegaZero wrote:
WatersLethe wrote:
It's just way less cool than it looks written out.
Now I'm reminded of the discussion about the scientific names for bears.

One of my personal favorites. It's very claws to my heart.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Drejk wrote:
I woke up much earlier today than I did for the last week. Or rather I got fully awake and got up earlier instead of returning to sleep.

Ah so instead of Dr. Ejk you are Dr. AWAKE.


What can I say? People just think your Dynamite.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Dwight Schrutte wrote:
Overly Literal Bard wrote:
Why won't it just share the hedge?
Bears!

They are number one on the threat-o-meter. If you encounter one escaping will sure to be a close claw.... (They are suppose to be bad shh)


I'm sure whatever use you find will be "off the rails"


1 person marked this as a favorite.
gran rey de los mono wrote:
I went to the police station laughing my ass off. Everyone was staring at me as I handed an arm bone to the desk sergeant and said "I don't know why, but I found this humerus."

I heard that one in college back in Osteoclasst.


A whole bunch of monkeying around going on in this thread.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

All these music puns are going to get you guys into treble.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

I guess Sharoth is sharing all the buzz with us today.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Sigh. Bird brain...


gran rey de los mono wrote:
Vidmaster7 wrote:
Just a Mort wrote:
Vidmaster7 wrote:

Oh instead of frogs my SO decided to get geckos.

So at least we will save money on car insurance.

How do frogs add to car insurance?

*violently kills joke*

Its an american insurance company commercial Geico. Their mascot is a gecko so it was a reference to that.

Also because frogs tend to croak when they drive.

(Croak is a euphemism for die.)

Its not easy being green.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Woran wrote:
Vidmaster7 wrote:
I like your hat Woran. Yours too Synos. Not a Gengar fan are you?
Its chilly and rainy here. My avatar needs to stay warm when walking outside so much :P

Well I thought the hat was a bit fishy but that is solid reasoning.


gran rey de los mono wrote:
Oscar Wilde was at a party, and boasted that he could make a pun on any subject that was suggested. One of the other party guests, knowing Wilde would be reticent to risk saying something offensive about the royal family, suggested he make a pun about the Queen. Wilde quickly replied "Ah ha, a fine suggestion, but the Queen is not a subject."

I'm just Wilde about that pun.


2 people marked this as a favorite.
gran rey de los mono wrote:
I was going to rob a big box store, but it's relocating and I'm not good at hitting a moving Target.

Maybe your aiming to Lowes or maybe your gun was not the Best Buy.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
captain yesterday wrote:
Just a Mort wrote:
*passes Captain Yesterday a towel*

I will not be censored!

Does an extra strut across the runway in his birthday suit, just for Mort.

That bares (That's like a triple pun) striking resemblance to Pulg.


XD


3 people marked this as a favorite.
quibblemuch wrote:
*braces to be peppered with an asalt of spice puns*

No need to get salty about it.


We will be having nun of that!


3 people marked this as a favorite.
Limeylongears wrote:
gran rey de los mono wrote:
Why don't people like Civil War jokes? Because General Lee they're not funny.

I got a Grant for my US Civil War cosplay.

They asked me if I could do any other Union generals and I said, 'Sherman'.

Oh I see! You guys are Lincoln these jokes together.


4 people marked this as a favorite.
Cosmo wrote:

Chris 2: I have so many questions... 1) How do you kill a bear? 2) How do you prep a bear for cooking? 3) Why are you resorting to eating bears? 4) Do they come with honey?

Chris 1: Answer to first 3: Bare hands

Last Q: obvs

This line of thinking is way too grizzly for me.


Boldly punny.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
gran rey de los mono wrote:
A snail went into a Ferrari dealer and wanted to buy the fastest car there. The salesman was surprised, but the snail had excellent credit and a deal was soon worked out. The only demand the snail had was that they paint a large "S" on the sides of the Ferrari. When the salesman asked why, the snail said "So that as I speed by people will say 'Wow! Look at that S-car-go!!'".

Well done you Snailed it.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
gran rey de los mono wrote:
I took the shell off my pet snail to see if it would make him move faster. Instead it just made him sluggish.

Ugh just take those snail jokes and escarGO!


1 person marked this as a favorite.
gran rey de los mono wrote:
Freehold DM wrote:
gran rey de los nekkid wrote:

What do you call a cow who plays guitar? A moosician.

That is not a guitar.

then why are you strumming it?
Because it has six strings a handful of frets on it?

If you break one of those strings you certainly will Fret.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Uh oh you have upped the Steaks by bringing in these cow puns.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
gran rey de los mono wrote:
I was walking down the street today, and a man started throwing milk, yogurt, and cheese at me. I just stood there and thought "How dairy!".

Now that was a cheesy joke.

(Is that technically a pun or just a double meaning? I need to know for alias decisions.)


I get your point... OR rather I didn't!


1 person marked this as a favorite.
gran rey de los mono wrote:
NobodysHome wrote:
<Insert obligatory, "Oldest Man in the Thread" joke here>

An old man joke? Ok.

You are so old, that when you were born the Dead Sea was just getting sick.

Wow. Sick burn.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Sharoth wrote:
I don't know how you all bear these puns. They are fur sure bad ones.

With grizzly determination.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Now your battin a million.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

That would definitely be a foul.


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Oh snap! you went there.


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gran rey de los mono wrote:
Why shouldn't you make fun of paleontologists? Because you'll get Jurasskicked.

Sounds like a bone head move.


Mort Fur-real finds Puns to be Purr-fect. She's really feline those Hiss-terical puns.


gran rey de los mono wrote:
Vidmaster7 wrote:
Gran why do they read the sold out sign then walk in and ask if we have rooms?
Because Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my closeup.

You really are on a MonROW....


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Fisk is worth the weight? hhehehe I'm going to take that as a pun.


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That was Fur-ocious.


Did you choose skeleton guard because he said bare bones?


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Sharoth wrote:
Careful! They bark.

Its ok those tree's have apparently turned over a new leaf.


I hope it doesn't turn out to be MMMM Fawtal.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Sharoth wrote:
He will "tail" you for the rest of your life.

If he likes them that much he should just check out a re-tail store.


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graystone wrote:
Un-Bear-able Puns wrote:
graystone wrote:
Un-Bear-able Puns wrote:
The Sideromancer wrote:
Brock Landers wrote:
Ever since 1st Ed AD&D the Druid has had some good blasting spells, better than the cleric. The balance lies with not letting it get out of control, like in 3rd Ed (Wild Shape casting feat, etc). A spellslinging bear, with a buffed bear sidekick, and summons more bears, can get unwieldy.

I think you mean unbearable. But thanks for laying your thoughts bear. I hope you'll continue to bear with us.

Edit: and ninja'd.

Oh those puns where grizzly. the worst part is you were making them without me.
Support the right to bear arms!
You can't have my arms! I need them. they are a bear necessity.
Am I being bar-BEAR-ic?

If you want some Fur-roscios bear claws you will need to wait in line at the bakery.

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