Bear

Un-Bear-able Puns's page

305 posts. Alias of Vidmaster7.


RSS

1 to 50 of 305 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | next > last >>

Bear claw?


At least I wouldn't be the only one getting a kick out of that.


Well ain't that a hoot.


gran rey de los mono wrote:

I'm not allowed to go to costume parties anymore. Here's what happened at the last one.

Host: "Nice costume. What are you?"
Me: "A harp."
Host: "Isn't it a little small for a harp?"
Me: *punches them in the face* "YOU CALLING ME A LYRE!?!"

Ah classic(al) instrument puns.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Vidmaster7 wrote:
Ambrosia Slaad wrote:
gran rey de los mono wrote:
It will be a non-optional coupon. It's delivered by masked men in a windowless white van. They "escort" you to an undisclosed hair-removal treatment facility. The job is done. Then you are released at a random location somewhere within a 2 mile radius of your home.
If you can trick Vid7 into a bear costume, I know a guy who can shave him...

You'd be surprised how easy it is to get me into a bear costume. Back when I used to play Wow I mained a bear druid and bear is what everyone called me.

Where do you think he gets all thos un-bear-able puns from?

The amount of bear puns are just grizzly.
He is fully koala-fied to pun and I'm not just Panda-ering.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
gran rey de los mono wrote:
I used to work at a canned fruit juice company. I got fired because I couldn't concentrate.

Lime sorry to hear that. That is Berry unfortunate. I'm sure it's driving you bananas.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Sharoth wrote:
Vidmaster7 wrote:
Sharoth is showing of his Prime realestate.
You are right. I do have a "prime" number showing.

You know to sum of the problem the longer we keep this going the more exponentially awkward it gets.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
gran rey de los mono wrote:
Vidmaster7 wrote:
gran rey de los mono wrote:
So, like this then?
Yes.. I had a party that once elected a chicken as mayor of a township. this is the same party.
I wonder if I can convince my Kingmaker group to elect a chicken as head of the kingdom when we get that far.

You just have to egg them on and don't let your plan run a fowl.


I'm alfraido say that a simple recipe for it doesn't pasta bar for me.


gran rey de los mono wrote:
My dentist asks the stupidest questions. Like "When was the last time you flossed?" I'm thinking "You should know, you were there."

And that is the honest Tooth.


captain yesterday wrote:
Going out for a snow run, only an inch of snow so I should be back before dawn.

well have a very Ice run. Afterwards you can just chill.


gran rey de los mono wrote:
Women usually tell me that I'm Ill-annoying.

That pun was so bad it knocked me to the Floor..ida.


2 people marked this as a favorite.
Woran wrote:
Never played Dark Souls. But those 'git gud' and mean it people can go sit in a tree.

I don't think I'm going out on a limb to say those types have a stick up their bum.


Freehold DM wrote:
Vidmaster7 wrote:
If your ever unsure if something is a Simpsons reference just ask Quibblemuch.
...the pony?

Nay.


You can't go putting bears in blenders you'll cause a Pandamix.


When I got out I do like to pull out all the frills.


Sounds awful fishy to me.


Well depends if the slime knows to mess with a rubik cube means getting Rekt-angle. It might just have to ask itself what is the point? or four points rather.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
captain yesterday wrote:
Should be an interesting day, not sure what we're doing exactly as we have to wait for a number of subcontractors to come in and do their thing tomorrow before we can move forward on our patios.

Do you know what Patios and Mike Tyson have in common?

Their both roofless.


gran rey de los mono wrote:

A man decides to fulfill his lifelong dream of owning a horse, and goes to a local breeder. Not having much knowledge of the animals, he asks the owner to show him around and tell him about different breeds. "Sure, let's go," says the owner, and brings him over to the paddocks.

"So a lot depends on what you want the animal for," he says, and gestures to a powerful stallion running laps. "Over there, you've got your Type A horse: strong, fast, and a little unpredictable, but great if you want to get somewhere in a hurry."

"I think that'd be a little much for me," the man says, and the owner nods, then brings him over to see a mare quietly chomping at some hay in the shade. "This is a Type B horse - tends to be quiet and they're good companions, but not much for doing work."

The man pauses to think about what he wants the animal for, then looks over at a nearby pond and sees a horse swimming and diving over and over again. "What the heck is that one doing?" he asks the owner. "Oh, him? That's a C horse."

I C their is a slight theme with these jokes.


Woran wrote:
Vidmaster7 wrote:
Whew no more pets' my way. My SO currently has the dog, the snake, the 2 geckos, 1 bearded dragon And of course the 3 rats. She is now talking about a chinchilla. Which is specifically said no! Which translate too not until we get a bigger place.
Watching the youtube channel is a good way to NOT want otters for pets. Yes, they are cute. But its like having a perpetual high energy toddler in the house, including opposable thumbs and more curiosity then is good for them.

So in otter words people should find a otternative to an otter pet.


I lost track of the conversation... are we talking about what animal we would be?

Be-Claws it might be a close call but I would Fur-sure be a bear for me.


gran rey de los mono wrote:
Parsley, sage, lemon, thyme I don't care about your rhyme scheme.

Spicy retort.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
John Napier 698 wrote:
NobodysHome wrote:

Wow! And today someone named Amuran logged into my Facebook account so I should click the link to secure my account immediately!

Who knew I was so bad at securing my stuff?

There's a reason as to why I can't stand hackers.

Is it because they just can't HACK it?

Oh I guess it would be the opposite actually.


2 people marked this as a favorite.
Woran wrote:

Time to start re-painting the windows.

Still annoyed that in this day and age that they choose wood for the windows instead of plastic.

... (you made this too easy)...

That sounds like a BEECH but Isn't wood easier to SPRUCE up?


2 people marked this as a favorite.
Sharoth wrote:
I pine for the day when we had better music. But I guess I will leaf this alone.

Don't be so Wood-en with your musical preferences. Don't be afraid to branch out. spruce up your music library. You'll find you might learn to Pine for new things.


Sharoth wrote:
The problem with having three dogs and five cats is that there is ALWAYS someone who wants attention. For example, the cat sitting in my lap right now.

You have to give them all their attention or it would be a Cat-tastrophe. The animals might raise the Roof.


Sharoth wrote:
Vidmaster7 wrote:
gran rey de los mono wrote:

My brother went to jail. He didn't take it well. Started insulting and attacking everyone and threw his own feces on the walls.

I don't think we'll play Monopoly with him again.
Yeah monopoly will do that to you.
That is a crappy thing to do while playing a game.

What do you expect Monopoly is jut a $&^&# game...


gran rey de los mono wrote:
My daughter and I had a heated argument today. Eventually she screamed "Yeah? Well, Jim Morrison is OVERRATED!!!" I said "What did I tell you about slamming The Doors!?!"

Need to teach her to appreciate Densmoore


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Can you believe not Ivory one appreciate elephant puns? It's not like it was a Mammoth undertaking..


2 people marked this as a favorite.

But still I don't think them adding more pachyderms is irr-elephant to my games.


3 people marked this as a favorite.
graystone wrote:
James Jacobs wrote:
We've also got four kinds of big cats and four kinds of bears.

That is a totally unacceptable amount of bears and cats!!! We demand equal treatment!!! Rabble, rabble, rabble, rabble!!!

* brought to you by the Committee Advocating for equal Treatment of felines and ursines.

This lack of Ursines is Un-Bear-able!


Sharoth wrote:
But that is one way to get the point.

Oh ho. That pun was dice-y but you went for it anyways!


gran rey de los mono wrote:
When I make chili, I always add exactly 239 beans. One more would be too farty.

Ahhahaha that joke was a gas.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
gran rey de los mono wrote:
Or learn Baleful Polymorph and cast it on myself.

I like the concept for the character but he does sound like a bit of a bird brain.


2 people marked this as a favorite.
gran rey de los nekkid wrote:
Vidmaster7 wrote:
You also need to know not to buy your fish from strangers in trucks gran.. very important.

But what if I want to buy a truck from a fish in a stranger? Why didn't they teach me about that?

That's a mighty impressive eel, right there.

Just remember it's all about having a cod do attitude.


that is crazy some would say that's Bananas.


That was very mooooving.


Any pun you make at this point will be Boo-tiful.


Powdered toast man always seemed like a CRUMMY super hero to me.


gran rey de los mono wrote:
The mighty swordfish has few predators in the wild, but it is always on guard. You never know when the seldom-seen penfish might show up looking for a fight.

That story sounds awful fishy to me.


gran rey de los mono wrote:

Two monkeys get in a bath. The first one says “Ooh ooh aah ooh aah!”

The second one replies “Well, put some cold water in it then.”

You and your monkeyshines.


gran rey de los mono wrote:
I encountered a wild bear the other day, and, upon misremembering the advice I'd heard, played "Dad" instead of "dead". Now it says "Please" and "Thank You", and can ride a bicycle without training wheels.

I bet you also make it a point to emBEARass him infront of his friends.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
gran rey de los mono wrote:
I just finished grilling a steak. Three hours and it still won't tell me who it works for.

Come on steak! Tell me the info! What is the beef?


gran rey de los mono wrote:
My friend got home the other day and found that every single lamp and bulb in his house had been stolen. He was absolutely de-lighted.

Yeah well all my doors were stolen. So his problem is just a-door-able compared to mine.


Sharoth wrote:
There is bearly anyone posting tonight.

I think It's Claws gran isn't posting his jokes. It makes things a bit more polar towards quiet without him around. Even if his jokes are a bit hairy.


Sharoth wrote:
Orthos wrote:

So Scint and I have quartered off an hour and a half/two hour block of our day lately to focus on our creative projects - her writing her novels and me working on my PF Classic adventures.

The one I'm working on now involves hobkins gremlins showing up to wreak havoc at an autumn equinox harvest festival. I was taking some time to explain some of the setups to Scint, including a couple using their combined illusions to trick people into thinking someone had fallen in a well then pelting them with sling bullets, and another pair maneuvering some guard dogs into destroying their owner's brewing equipment.

Her immediate quip was, "not to mention all the saves you have to make against contracting non-hobkins lymphoma."

<headdesk> The puns, they hurt...

I am not sure if I can bear the puns!

They are quite my name.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Limeylongears wrote:

Paizo's next top adventure path starts here:

Against the Wisconsin Cheese Pirates

Well that's not gouda. That just makes my blood curdle. I think the people of Wisconsin will very bleu until they are caught.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
gran rey de los mono wrote:
A play on words entered a bar and killed nearly a dozen people. Pun in, ten dead.

Ah so I case of multiple homonymcide

(Shut up their suppose to be bad. It's unbearable puns not bearable puns!)


gran rey de los mono wrote:
Lately I've become apathetic about eating vegetables. Some days I just don't carrot all.

Well that is not even rad-ish. You better squash that apathetic attitude. You don't want to carry all that cabbage around.

1 to 50 of 305 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | next > last >>