Last one to post wins


Forum Games

28,101 to 28,150 of 28,569 << first < prev | 558 | 559 | 560 | 561 | 562 | 563 | 564 | 565 | 566 | 567 | 568 | next > last >>
Liberty's Edge

STOP! TOO SILLY!

Sovereign Court

On THIS thread, NOTHING is too silly!

*Proceeds to make ridiculous gestures at Sunomono Slaad.*


Ah, he can make gestures, so he still has hands, which means Vampire Schism still has work to do. Action stations!

Sovereign Court

Remember, nosferatu or not, this is Fester Addams we're talking about.


The only ridiculous gestures he can make at the moment are with his face, everything else is buried.

I knew I forgot to rip out something - his tongue.

Sovereign Court

That won't stop him, seriously, I've tried.

The only thing that can get Fester Addams to behave is his brother: Gomez Addams.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Dowager Comtesse de Malodor wrote:


GoatToucher, even you may find this instructive.

Madam, you are adorable.

Vampire Schism wrote:

*Comes up behind Nosferatu Fester Addams and rips his head off. Sticks it on top of the flag pole of Freedom Tower.

Rips off his arms. Puts one inside a termite mound in Africa and the other in a killer bee hive in South America.
Tears of his legs. Throws one in the Atlantic Ocean and the other in the Pacific.
Rips the heart out of his chest. Throws the chest into Mt Vesuvius and encases his heart in an unbreakable glass cube.

A few notes:

Actually one note.

Consider all the things you did to his physical form: How much better would it been to have done these things before you killed him?

You lead with decapitation. How can he fully experience the mortification of his flesh if he is already dead?

Let's workshop this for a moment. What could we have done differently?

The most obvious is simply decapitating him last, keeping him alive via healing magics as we remove his limbs.

Another interesting idea is to decapitate him first, keeping his head vivified via any of a variety of techniques, and then forcing the head to watch as it's body is destroyed, any hope of resurrection gradually dwindling as they watch the macabre scenes until all you have left is a head, silently working it's mouth in an attempt to beg you to kill it, granting it sweet release from it's horrible state and the memories of what it has witnessed.

At which point you house it in a terrarium in your parlor.


Too dangerous. Had to immobilize him first before he could retaliate.
Besides, even with his head separated he still saw what I did to him.

Sovereign Court

And loved every second of it!


Maybe if he apologizes (AND LEAVE THE ANCESTORS ALONE) I might consider bringing his head and heart together and allow him to regenerate.


What, the heart we fed to Cousin Mimi?

Sovereign Court

Keep dreaming everyone, Fester Addams loves having pain and mutilation being inflicted upon him. It's one of the things that his family are known for.

Sovereign Court

Forget it, Count, no one has heard of the Addams Family.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

*pops out of an odd little box that had been resting innocuously atop a harpsichord, flips Malvel the finger*

*Malvel must now roll one doozy of a Fortitude save*


This thread is made of silly.

Sovereign Court

Touche, The CLAW, however I always pass my saves.


>.>

Sovereign Court

*Grunt.*


That's a different claw.


Has Claw been drinking White Claw again?


Also why name a giant monkey claw? Monkey's don't really have claws.

Sovereign Court

MY monkey does! How else is he going to be a killer?!


Teeth and probably blunt objects?


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Or just ripping the limbs off his victims.
I learned a lot just watching him.

Sovereign Court

*Nods whilst grunting in an approving manner.*


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Vampire Schism wrote:

Or just ripping the limbs off his victims.

I learned a lot just watching him.

Yahuh! He's got claw - a - form!!!! Hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk hee!


Ouch!
Bad Pun. Bad Pun.

I like it.


There you are Schism I have been looking all over for you.

Sovereign Court

Clearly then, you need glasses as Schism has been stuck to your left foot all the time.


Oooops sorry Schism ... wait no thats something else. I think its halfling or maybe gnome? Let me taste it that will tell me what it is.

Scarab Sages

*examines The Nasty Orc's foot from a distance with spyglass*

Oh. Oh, dear, I believe that was our Kender companion.

Sovereign Court

*ROAR!*


1 person marked this as a favorite.

What about your other two heads?

Sovereign Court

*Growls menacingly, at Pulg and his ignorant stupidity.*


So wait does he have 3 heads or a trillion?

Sovereign Court

He has THREE heads. His name is a combination of "Tri" meaning 3 and lion.


Ah OK makes since.


You know, like a tricycle is a bicycle with three heads.


Simba we are your father!


Kitty!

Sovereign Court

You guys need PROFESSIONAL help! Where's Doctor G House when you need him?


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Someone called?

Sovereign Court

Ah, Dr G House, thank goodness you're here! Yes, I called you.

*Points to Schism, Pulg and Vidmaster7.*

Those three need emergency lobotomies right away!


That ship sailed a long time ago, 'drikkers.

Sovereign Court

*Angry roars.*


Dedrick, The Professor wrote:

Ah, Dr G House, thank goodness you're here! Yes, I called you.

*Points to Schism, Pulg and Vidmaster7.*

Those three need emergency lobotomies right away!

Sorry, but Pulg is all hair, Vidmaster 7 has that regeneration going on, and Schism never had a brain to begin with.

Sovereign Court

Then might you please attend to my beasts? They're due for an appointment.

*Both Claw the Giant Monkey and Trillion the Three-Headed Lion grumble nervously.*

It's been a while since we last saw you, you can blame GoatToucher for that.

And obviously I mean ALL of my beasts, not just these two.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

I can work these 2 in now, but you will have to make appointments for the rest. Depending on the day, I can probably see maybe 3, unless an emergency comes up like that unicorn where some goblin snuck up and cut off its horn while it was distracted by the pretty princess.

Okay Claw, hop on this table and lets see how you are.

*Some 10 minutes of hm's and ah's later.
For the most part Claw is okay, but he does seem to have some anxiety issues that has raised his blood pressure. I recommend a week long vacation in the jungle. Let him relax by climbing trees and make sure he eats some leaves of the juniper trees. They are very relaxing.

Your turn Trillion.

*Some more hm's and ah's later.
You are still over weight. Have you been eating more than once a week? Three heads do not mean 3 meals.
You also need to run around after eating instead of lying down to sleep. Get the juices flowing.
I also noticed some brown spots on your teeth after I cleaned the blood off. Looks like you have a calcium deficiency. Easy fix. You need to drink fresh unpasteurized blue Bantha milk. You will need to drink 1 gallon a day for the next month and 2 gallons a week for the next 5 months.
This needs to come straight from the Bantha, so you will need to keep it alive and milk it.

Now if you will excuse me, I have to do a tonsillectomy on a giraffe.

Sovereign Court

Very well, Dr G House, I will take onboard what you have said.

Granted, my beasts are magical creatures so, it will be difficult.

Also, I DID book appointments for my other beasts (I book them all together).


Hmm you almost had it.

28,101 to 28,150 of 28,569 << first < prev | 558 | 559 | 560 | 561 | 562 | 563 | 564 | 565 | 566 | 567 | 568 | next > last >>
Community / Forums / Gamer Life / Forum Games / Last one to post wins All Messageboards

Want to post a reply? Sign in.