Last one to post wins

[Skiron]

*suddenly, a 15m-radius shoggoth crashes through the roof (sounds crazy, no?) straight onto Comte de Malodor, then takes his flattened body, now plastered onto its side, with it as it promptly continues bouncing through the castle*

That is my answer to your question, Msr. de Malodor.

[Comte de Malodor]

A solid yes! I like your enthusiasm. We'll have you re-bored, then you can start right away.

[Skiron]

Oh, I am NEVER bored!

[Dedrick, The Professor]

*A dimensional rift opens up and Dedrick steps out of it looking totally unamused.*

Don't you remember what Count Reiner Heydrich (aka the headmaster!) told us?

*Dusts self down to get rid of all the remaining rift particles.*

We're not allowed to attack/kill the students or eachother!

*Points to Comte de Malodor.*

The exception being him, we can all hurt Comte de Malodor as much as we like.

*Continues talking whilst writing a lesson plan about other dimensions.*

Granted, you were teaching how to cook a particular meal. I'm just glad I cloned myself.

[Lashcastrakaa the Man-Flayer]

Dedrick, The Professor wrote:

*A dimensional rift opens up and Dedrick steps out of it looking totally unamused.*

Don't you remember what Count Reiner Heydrich (aka the headmaster!) told us?

*Dusts self down to get rid of all the remaining rift particles.*

We're not allowed to attack/kill the students or eachother!

*Points to Comte de Malodor.*

The exception being him, we can all hurt Comte de Malodor as much as we like.

NO. WRRONG. I CAN. MUZZER-IN-LAW CAN. YOU CANNOT. YOU HURT HHHUSSBANT, I HURT YOU. MUCH.

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

There was no other way, I'm afraid, Lashcastrakaa. Besides, your husband lives to be pulverised.

[Dedrick, The Professor]

And, if it's true that you hurt the people who aren't allowed to hurt your husband (Comte de Malodor) then, you must now hurt Skiron because he has recently flattened your husband.

With a shoggoth of all things!

[Skiron]

*points at the shoggoth (or rather, at the hole in the floor it was last seen creating)*

What?!? IT did it!

[Pulg]

The shoggoth is an energetic 1960s dance, isn't it?

[Skiron]

*slaps Pulg*

*with the interior of an adamantine waffle iron*

*that had just been plugged in and active for a full 13 hours*

[Schism]

*Sniff

EWW! Burning hair smell!
Quick, get me some nose plugs.

[Dedrick, The Professor]

*Has Schism strapped to an operating table and hammers two forms into each of her nostrils.*

There you go! I tried to find actual plugs, but I need them for my kitchen and bathroom.

[Vampire Schism]

You are so dead!
Picks up Dedrick and throws him into the lava pit.

[Dedrick, The Professor]

*Sees Vampire Schism throw Comte de Malodor into the lava pit.*

I think you need glasses, also, YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE TRAMP!

*Count Reiner Heydrich meanwhile is hiding to avoid the potential bloodbath.*

Besides, I was meaning corks not forms but I couldn't find any of those either!

[Comte de Malodor]

Turn the temperature on this hot tub down a bit, will you?

[Vampire Schism]

Darn bright lights. I'm used to working in the dark.

Keep your mind out of the sewer Comte.

[Dowager Comtesse de Malodor]

If only that were remotely possible, my dear Schism.

[Nosferatu Fester Addams]

Yeah, he keeps scaring away the rats! No rats means that I go starving!

Oh well, at least I get to steal all of his housemaids while he's on probation.

[Vampire Schism]

Make sure you decontaminate them first.

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

*From his hiding spot, somewhere behind a sofa or under a table.*

Such a thing doesn't concern him in the slightest. Trust me on this one.

[Lady Blackmoor]

It certainly should...

[Nosferatu Fester Addams]

*Goes gravedigging in the Malodor family cemetery, looking for corpses to eat.*

What should concern me? Can it wait? I just found a smorgasbord of delicious meat!

*Starts eating all the exhumed dead bodies (at least, they SHOULD be dead).*

[Uncle Honore]

Glignichin! Noughorighispique! Ne mange pas mes pieds!

[Vampire Schism]

*casts comprehend languages

Yeah, Fester. A mummy without it's feet to shamble with is like a werewolf that can't howl.

[Nosferatu Fester Addams]

*Continues digging up "dead" bodies and eating them, ignoring the screams.*

What'd you say, Vampire Schism? Also, is it noisy in this graveyard or it just me?

[Dowager Comtesse de Malodor]

STOP GNAWING UNCLE HONORE, OR IT'S THE SUNLIGHT GARLIC STAKE MIRROR TREATMENT FOR YOU.

[Vampire Schism]

Does that come with a facial?

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

*Stops hiding (as the vicious fight between Dedrick and Vampire Schism didn't happen).*

Fester would consider your punishment for him as a heavenly reward.

*Shudders in complete disgust.*

He's quite the filthy little cretin (not a much as your son however).

Also, he's eating ALL of your deceased relatives not just Uncle Honore.

[Dowager Comtesse de Malodor]

And how is that supposed to make me feel better exactly, Count?

[Nosferatu Fester Addams]

It's not, but at least I don't take things as far as your son does!

*Begins eating the corpse of Dowager Comtesse de Malodor's own mother.*

Oh, by the way, when are you going to do all of those wonderful things to me?

[Vidmaster7]

I'm very trustworthy and surprisingly aerodynamic despite all the fuzz.

[Dedrick, The Professor]

That has absolutely NOTHING to do with what we're all talking about!

Interesting little fact though, quite surprising indeed.

Does this mean that you would fly very far if you were thrown hard enough?

[Vidmaster7]

Yes hence exceedingly trustworthy.

[Panter Flauclaws]

I'm not convinced.

*Picks up Vidmaster7 by the beard and throws him with the force of a freight train.*

[Comte de Malodor]

INCOMING!!!!

Will this madness never end?

(Also, where are my housemaids?)

[Nosferatu Fester Addams]

They're MY housemaids now!

*Evil laugh, despite sounding nothing like an evil laugh.*

But they will still do all of their assigned duties in terms of housework.

[Vidmaster7]

*finally lands*

See.

[Comte de Malodor]

Nosferatu Fester Addams wrote:

They're MY housemaids now!

*Evil laugh, despite sounding nothing like an evil laugh.*

But they will still do all of their assigned duties in terms of housework.

They have a whole bunch of assigned duties, but what is this "howes-wurk" you speak of?

Or did you mean 'hoe-'

[Lashcastrakaa the Man-Flayer]

HHHUSBANT! BE SILENT!

[State of confusion]

Quite.

[Panter Flauclaws]

I think we missed a trick here...

*Once again, picks up Vidmaster7 by the beard and throws him a great distance.*

This is what we need!

*Plays "I Believe I Can Fly" by R.Kelly.*

Perfect!

[Charles Scholz]

You Can Fly

[Nosferatu Fester Addams]

*Shoots Charles Scholz dead at pointblank range with a rocket launcher.*

There'll be none of that, thank you very much!

[Vidmaster7]

You know it's actually kind of fun.

[Charles Scholz]

Nosferatu Fester Addams wrote:

*Shoots Charles Scholz dead at pointblank range with a rocket launcher.*

There'll be none of that, thank you very much!

I didn't know Nerf made rocket launchers. Thanks for the info.

[Dedrick, The Professor]

He was going to use a real one, but was told that you're deathly allergic to nerf foam.

[Charles Scholz]

I wonder who told him that?

[Schism]

*Whistles

[Nosferatu Fester Addams]

That's quite a lovely tune you are whistling, Schism.

Tell me, is it "My Heart is like a Rusty Accordion" by Dirty Hanukkah?