The Next Poster...

Forum Games

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*casts Reincarnate on the subject, rolls dice.* The subject is now a female half-bugbear/half-pixie.

The poster has the perfect profession for the subject's new form.

Sovereign Court

It is just perfect for someone of this particular subject: Secretary to GoatToucher! But the subject had better hurry, applications are already lining up.

The next poster is also applying (because they lost a bet) and is surprised by the large turn out of applicants.

Hello? Poog be applying for work as zekretary to the Goat Voucher.
Why....why it be so crowded?

Next pozter rescue Poog from horrible fate.....Poog be good friend.

Yes... It's time for a lovely carriage ride, then you can come into my chateau, little goblin chum, and see my etchings... muahahahahahahaHAHAHAHA!

The next poster is La Comtesse's divorce lawyer.

*eats gloffy gobbo*

*hides from next poster to protect its gloffy gobbo*

I could have sworn I just saw a... Nah, must have been my imagination.

The next poster has a vivid sense of self.

Comte de Malodor wrote:

Yes... It's time for a lovely carriage ride, then you can come into my chateau, little goblin chum, and see my etchings... muahahahahahahaHAHAHAHA!

The next poster is La Comtesse's divorce lawyer.


Next poster will have to sort out all these ninjas.


Poog not want to die!!!

(Channels negative energy to make Bleached Otyugh vomit him out)

Yuck, but Poog free.....Poog run!!

Next pozter has degree in Quack Doctor

Oh my, yes. I like to share it with others, so that they too can have a vivid sense of myself. Every lurid detail.


The next poster has seen What Must Not Be Seen, and been aroused by it.

Cyndi Lauper's ankles. Ohhhhhh!

The next poster is the lead singer of BillyBotherer: An Affectionate Tribute To GoatToucher.

You should hear our take on Billie Jean, called Billy Goat. It is inspired.

The next poster helped inspire the song.

get out of my mind!
my love for you is way out of line!
better run, goat!
you're much to young, GOAT!

The next poster had an... unfortunate but memorable experience while wearing a "sexy goat" costume at a party recently.

I'll say! It chafed so bad that my legs fell off!

The next poster listened to one of my stand-up routines!

Modernizing Sophocles' Oedipus Cycle is not a very funny stand-up routine.

The next poster successfully turned the Godfather Trilogy into a comedy powerhouse.

I left the content unchanged, but played the score, also unchanged, entirely on the slide whistle.

The next poster is welcome, to Jurassic Park!

Pounded In My Butt By The Gay Diplodocus Biker Unicorn Ghost.

Well, I like the Chuck Tingle rewrite. So there!

The next poster would like to share the Robert E. Howard Twilight fanfic they have recently uncovered

Conan ripping off Edward's head was a nice touch.

The next poster is shocked, SHOCKED that there is gambling in this establishment.

I mean, I knew that there were casinos in Vegas, but isn't installing slot machines in the toilet cubicles a bit much?

The next poster is running for President of the United States after having formed their own political party.

From the depths of hell i come.


The next poster will be the one in charge of 'rehabilitating' my political enemies, as well as the 'risky elements in society', into my loyal followers.

What else do you think the Secretary of the Interior does?

The next poster is also an important member of the Fiend Fantastic Administration.

I will max out the country's AC, Touch AC, FF AC, and all of its saves! Well, Secretary of Defense!

The next poster will be the Secretary of Offense...

Yup. I coordinate vast legions of Level 4 Hobgoblin Fighters. I mostly took the job for the health benefits, but the whole genocide thing is a nice perk.

The next poster is an anarchist against the government.

Liberty's Edge

People shouldn't be afraid of their governments.
Governments should be afraid of their people.
People with sorcerous powers, in particular!

The next poster has been cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of fate.


The next poster is just a victim.


The next poster is also a pun.

Originally, yes - but since then, I have become so much more...*grabs Vick Tim and Takes Him Away*

The next poster fought The CLAW. The CLAW won.

I faced off against The CLAW in the 2014 Drownball World Championships, and he managed to drown first. Truly a master of the beautiful game!

The next poster won an Olympic Gold Medal for a most unusual competition.

Sovereign Court

It was the "How to Help Seniors Deal with Pesky People by any means necessary" Event. No one could beat my "dress up as an old lady then eat the annoying salesman/distant relative who only wants your money" approach.

The next poster won silver at the same event.

Dark Archive

Annoying salesmen go quite nicely with fava beans, Chianti, and a demiglace made from ritual obsidian dust.

The next poster will volunteer - of their own free will, even! - to be sacrificed to Yog-Sothoth!

Eh. It's a living. Or not.

The next poster has set a devious trap for the poster that posts after them.


+1 sin for silly set-up cliché.
Nah, if they want to go out with the pretty girl, the next poster will have to dodge these venomous spike traps.

I'm not going out with the pretty girl. Everything I will do will be behind closed (and locked, and barred, and double-bolted) doors.

The next poster feels like they are being watched.

I'm sure those hackers are trying to look at my data banks, darnit.

The next poster knows of the youtube channel CinemaSins, as has viewed a movie for errors as well.

They have discovered the similar thread called -PathfinderSins- too.

And the even more popular channel called PathfinderShins, which consists solely of videos of Kobold Cleaver's front lower legs.

The next poster keeps a Surprise in their hosiery.

Guess who cast explosive runes on their underwear this morn- *BOOM!!!*

The next poster's favorite movie was just ruined by a remake.

The Young Frankenstein remake. The scene where they tried to label every fire with "Trigger Warnings" for them monster creature differently-assembled individual, and the one in the safe space just ruined things.

The next poster tried out for the remake but was turned down for a bizarre reason.

Dark Archive

They said it was a story about the reanimation of dead tissue, so I demonstrated how that was accomplished. I don't understand - that's what they wanted, wasn't it? Why did they threaten me with a firing squad?

The next poster was laughed out of the academy - but they showed them! The next poster showed them all!

Those fools said that thread necromancy isn't real necromancy. But who is having their servers destroyed by undead flame wars NOW!?

The next poster found something lying on the ground.

I not help get up old lady, me goblin, not social worker.

Next pozter inventzted new BBQ sauce, and tells ingredients.

Indeed! It's called "GoatToucher's Fleshy Delight" and it contains [REDACTED]

:"Please Stand By" logo on screen:

:television bursts into flame:


The next poster knows that our god is not a just or forgiving god.

You'd expect nothing less from the god of goat touching, rump lotions, and [REDACTED]!

The next poster has a form of X-Ray vision that only allows them to see through redactions . . . and GoatToucher-related redactions make them wish they didn't have that power.

I'm only thankful that I have now become blind because of what I saw, even if I can barely stomach eating anything now.

The next poster can and will eat anything.

(Chew chew)


(Raccoon head bits coming from mouth)

Next...(chew)..pozter..(spits bit of raccoon crumbs)....not stopped for Hammer time, and -did- touch that.

I did touch it. Young Master Stanley was quite upset afterwards, but I'm sure he's gotten over it by now.

The next poster had a most alarming bathroom experience last night.

IHIYC's twin I'm Hiding in your Bathroom Mirror . . . naked. *shudders*

The next poster is an ancient rival of IHIYBM . . .

Back then I was known as "The Stone Cudgel, Master of Mirror Smashing" but that was so long ago. I didn't even think IHIYBM was still around.

The next poster was IHIYBM's minion and will explain why IHIYBM has been seen in decades.

IHIYBM and his two brothers, IBCM and NWOBHM, noticed that their life-forces were fading and headed off to the legendary Acronyms' Graveyard to expire in peace.

The next poster has discovered King Solomon's Moans.


The next poster needs the imprints of someone's buttocks for some nefarious purpose.

I'm perfecting the recognition software on my rump-seeking "Penetrator" missile, and I need test samples.

The next poster is in the Danger Zone.

Nearly right - I'm in the Dangler Zone, which is a fenced-off area in the nudist camp where we corral the generously-endowed to make sure they don't make the other patrons jealous.

The next poster is running a fancy dress competition at the nudist camp.

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