Cruel Instructor

Nigel Tufnel, Guitar Wizard's page

59 posts. Alias of Ambrosia Slaad.


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captain yesterday wrote:
Last day at the feng shui hole!

{writes down "Feng Shui Hole" on list of Spinal Tap song ideas}

Limeylongears wrote:
Be careful. That's load-bearing chi.

{also adds "Load-Bearing Chi" to list}


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gran rey de los mono wrote:
I went to the park to play Frisbee with my dog today. It was terrible. I need a flatter, more circular dog.

You're going to really freak out the guitarist from Blink 182.

Edit: My reply to your comment time-traveled to before you'd even made your comment! MWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA!

Edit 2: Nekkid freak out?! MWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA!


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Tacticslion wrote:
Freehold DM wrote:
I live in fear of Harvest Moon.
I love Harvest Moon!

In conclusion, Neil Young is a land of contrasts.


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Schadenfreudian wrote:

Und vat is zis invatuation und obsezzion mit heads?

*strokes chin vigorously*

"Invatuation" iz Rod Ztewart'z mozt overrated zong.


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"Aquapulg" is Jethro Longears's most overrated song.


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Thomas Seitz wrote:
I have a silver and platinum Stratocaster that is signed by Orcus, Demogorgon and Graz'zt.

I know who's Bachman, but which one is Turner and which one is Overdrive?


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gran rey de los mono wrote:
And, as the psychiatrist said to the man wearing saran wrap pants: "Well, I can clearly see your nuts."

He's not nuts, he's just Roy Orbison. (Don't google that.)


Drejk wrote:
gran rey de los mono wrote:
People tend to like the smell of freshly cut grass. Maybe this is due to our ancestors linking that smell with the presence of herbivorous prey.

Seriously?!

I was just woken up by the roaring of lawnmowers before the gods-damned 9 am.... The smell of freshly cut grass is spreading all around...

"Over the garden wall, two little lovebirds - cuckoo to you!

Keep them moving blades sharp..."


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Farael the Fallen wrote:
The sole purpose of this thread was to let you guys know that Metallic Threads are no longer hosted on Paizo.com.
Farael the Fallen wrote:
Okay, now get back to the Metallic threads discussions...

I think nearly all of us are fleshy sentients, not AIs or robots. Thus your scheme to utilize self-contradicting statements to induce self-destruction in us will not work.

As you are attempting to halt discussion of Metallica, I must conclude that it is a 64.52% probability that you, Farael, are in fact Dave Mustaine.


♫♪ "If you choose not to decide
You still have made a choice
" ♫♪


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"One" ;) seems a bit slow for CPR.


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♫♪ "All those Yesterdays..." ♫♪


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Don't remember if you were into Temple of the Dog or not (or if it ever came up), but their 11/4/2016 reunion show is up on YouTube right now.


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I blame Cosmo for the hasted Peegs of Tindalos swarm overrunning the Paizo office.


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Barry Zuckercorn wrote:
Lucky!

{ponders "Barry Zucker KoЯn" alias}


If "Bachmann-Turnip Outer God" was a band name, what genre of music would they play?


Now I would like to see at least one episode of a big band The Florence Welch Show on PBS.

Bonus points if she hosts it with a German accent and if at least one of the numbers has bubbles.


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Freehold DM wrote:
Tacticslion wrote:

DANG. IT. SIRI.

THE YMCA IS NOT THE DENTIST OFFICE.

there's gotta be a story behind that.

Yeah, just before the Village People got popular, they Pete Best'ed the Dentist character and replaced him with the Construction Worker.


Ventnor wrote:
I thought we outlawed Tuesday?

Tuesday's gone with the wind.


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Feros wrote:
Kobold Cleaver wrote:

At present, the "Gender-Neutral Pronoun" thread, created by infamous rabble-rouser, rascal-rustler and roof-raiser kobold Kobold Cleaver, appears to be caught in an existence somewhere between life and lock. It is, at this precise moment in time, evidently trapped in stasis. I cannot post. However, I can edit. And the thread does not show itself as locked. I believe that, in time, this stasis will collapse, and the thread will shift into one of the two binary states.

But this has not happened yet. For the time being, the thread is—not unlike gender itself, I suppose—neither solidly one nor the other.

It's Schrödinger's thread!

♪ ♫ "Playing with my Schröding-a-ling, Schröding-a-ling..." ♪ ♫


Freehold DM wrote:
Holy s#!~. Please change the title of this thread quick. I thought something happened to Lemmy!

No, sadly, the thread title is accurate. :(

Edit: And (former) Motorhead drummer Phil Taylor just died back in November.


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Celestial Healer wrote:
Morning, all. What did I miss?

You missed Chris Cornell making U2 and Metallica fans happy. Or pissing them all off. Or both?


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Treppa wrote:
Linzer cookies are not at all what I thought they were. They are even more amazing.

{channeling Iron Butterfly:} ♪ ♫ "Ina-Garten's-Da-Eating, Uh Huh" ♪ ♫


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Treppa wrote:
It's a nice day for a white wedding.

.

♫ ♪ It's a
nice day to
FaWTL againnnnnnnnnnn! ♪ ♫ {sneers}


Wash them first.


A motorhead of adamantine golems

A _________ of wolpertingers


omicloudd wrote:
I'm trying to go for champion but it feels so far away.

.

♫ ♪ "Here I am again voting in this year's SuperStar,
Champion's so far away from me.
Now where are you when the site goes down?
You're so far away from me...
" ♩ ♬


Smell the Glove!

It's like, "how much more black stinky could this be?" and the answer is "None. None more black stinky."


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{looks at alias list, cues up song:} "Don't you think you oughta rest?..." ;)


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A zappa of mothers of oblivion

A _____ of green hags


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Psh, poseur.


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Kajehase wrote:
Cue Chris changing avatar to the Eye of Sauron.

Or the Eye of Sumner.


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MannyGoblin wrote:

So Pathfinder version of Doof Wagon?

Mandolin bard with drummers in the back. Pulled by horses.

Or pulled by bulettes. Bulettes would be more metal.

Or a giant sphere hamster wheel in the center, filled with monk kobolds all running at top speed.


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Inna gadda da vida, baybee


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Water Boy wrote:
SEE, VIO-LANCE, IT MUST BE TEH EVILS. TEH EVILS OF ROCK.

...The fantasy of role

The clattering of the dice
Another 1 crushes your soul
Zesty Doritos would be nice
Some more Dew in your hole
Murder hoboing together...and ever...


John Kretzer wrote:
Chris Lambertz wrote:
I praise Sara Marie for getting the bzz-ing dying/angry wasp out of my office. D:
What did you do to anger Calistria?

What would Calistria have to do with Blackie Lawless' 80s heavy metal hair band?


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Petty Alchemy wrote:
The Mark Seifter train has no brakes it would seem.

"All aboard! Ha-ha-ha!" [/Ozzy]


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quibblemuch wrote:
mamaursula wrote:

Good, because my eleven friends who are very real and I were very offended.

He's kind of a big deal around here.

With eleven friends, he's a regular Nigel Tufnel of social interaction.

{proudly} I understood that reference.


Clay Clouser wrote:
Anthony Adam wrote:
Computer says .... Filigreed Tork!
That opens a hole in reality to the shadow plane

...filled with umbral Monkees (and several specials of dread earworms).


3 people marked this as a favorite.

Rod of Stewart for bards? Drawbacks: Gives the wielder that hairstyle (no save)


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Hayato Ken wrote:
Thanks for the link. What does the ZZ actually mean?

"Every gamer crazy 'bout a SupaStah item." {spins guitar}


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Drejk wrote:
Christopher Lee singing heavy metal carols!


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KestrelZ wrote:

This is dark wing checking in, that dark wing with ultra black logo and the cool obsidian lettered catchphrase cuz we're so dark!

Uh, Red leader - I can't see my controls right now. The black panel just hid the black buttons and the black backlighting just makes everything darker.....thought I could fly with the ultradark blast visor down too.

It's like, how much more black could this be? And the answer is none. None more black.


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Game Master Scotty wrote:

I blame Cosmo for my wife throwing a football in the most perfect manner possible and my catching it.

With my, er, male bits.

Nauseated condition for 10 minutes.

I blame Cosmo for GMS putting this song back in my head.


Really old gamer wrote:
"Mmmmmmmmg mg mmmmmmmmg."

Once there was this kid who

Got into an accident and couldn't come to school...


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Kajehase wrote:
Judy Bauer wrote:

[Redacted]: "Gibbering complimenter."

[Redacted]: "Hugging lurker!"
"Crusty jugglers!"

Are these the lost lyrics to that old holiday chestnut, "The 12 Horrors of Cos'mass?"


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It's like, "How much more Chaotic could this be?" and the answer is "None. None more Chaotic."


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I have no fear, because the Juggalo Army has trained for the last five years to avert the Magnetopocalypse.


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Doodlebug Anklebiter wrote:

My hetero life partner tries to always eat over the sink. When I give him the standard mom line "It'll taste better if you put it on a plate and sit down at the table" he always says "Woody Guthrie ate over the sink."

If that seems cryptic to you, well, I don't know what it means, either.

{uses sharpie to scribble "This Machine Kills Fascists" on the dishwasher}


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I blame Cosmo for Katina putting a Creed song in my head! Eeeeeeeeeevillll!!! {goes looking for a power drill}

Edit: Wait, Cosmo, is Katina your Sith apprentice?

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