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"THE" Poog of Zarongel wrote:

[ Belphegor gets shanked before taking the win ]

POOG!!!

You missed me Poog, but you did hit my internet line. 2 days, no internet. I thought I would go stir crazy.


That Poog, always the crazy schemes.


Molten Dragon wrote:
That Poog, always the crazy schemes. I wish Uri Meca would win this game already.

Wish granted. =)


Counter spell


C-O-U-N-T-E-R

Scarab Sages

1 person marked this as a favorite.

No no no, he's telling you to put the spell on the counter - like this!

*pops up from behind crowded kitchen counter wearing a chef's apron; lights swirl around, public domain music plays*

Hiya folks! Today on "Counter Spells," we show you how to make fireball soufflé, a horrid wilting lettuce-leaf nicoise salad, and magic missile muffins!

As ever, I'll need an assistant!


Here I am. I'm not sure that the all-body beard snood was necessary, but Health and Safety insisted on it.

Scarab Sages

Hmm...*looks Pulg over* How's your Swedish?


I wanna magic missile muffin.


I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:
Hmm...*looks Pulg over* How's your Swedish?

How's my Swedish what?


2 people marked this as a favorite.

Borky bork smork bork.

Sovereign Court

1 person marked this as a favorite.

*Runs on to the show unexpectedly.*

Uh, guys? Just wanted to let you know that I have recently used kytons as hosts for my xenomorphs and some of them have escaped. To make matters worse, GoatToucher has managed to force the xenomorphs to use him as a host and now some of those hybrids have also escaped.

*Runs off and the kitchen scene from Gremlins Two happens, only with hybrid xenomorphs instead and one of them is a GoatToucher hybrid.*


1 person marked this as a favorite.

:walks in bearing a gruesome chest wound, seemingly unperturbed:

Jambi? Young Jambi!

:GTomorph attends dutifully:

Jambi, bring some almond butter and a particularly reluctant member of the studio audience to the "Workroom". It's time for afternoon tea!


Sissyl wrote:
I wanna magic missile muffin.

I think Jeff Grubb invented a Snilloc's cream pie spell under 2e, but I don't think anyone has ever updated it.


GoatToucher wrote:

:walks in bearing a gruesome chest wound, seemingly unperturbed:

Jambi? Young Jambi!

:GTomorph attends dutifully:

Jambi, bring some almond butter and a particularly reluctant member of the studio audience to the "Workroom". It's time for afternoon tea!

Oh, Sirrah! How disgustingly droll!


Sissyl wrote:
I wanna magic missile muffin.

If you hold your tongue and say it, it sounds like this: Ieh.


Waterhammer, please sing us your smash hit, 'Acorns For All'


-warms up the electric triangle-


* Revs gas-powered xylophone*


*Starts stoking boiler on steam-driven bassoon*

Scarab Sages

*hardly needs to do a damn thing with zero-point energy-powered koto*

While that's being taken care of...here you go, Sissyl!

magic missile muffin: 5d4 + 5 ⇒ (4, 4, 1, 4, 3) + 5 = 21


1 person marked this as a favorite.

*Grabs magic missle muffin in mid air and eats it* Mmm... SAFETY BEAR APPROVES!


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Did you fill out a risk assessment form first? OHHH, SAFETY BEAR, YOU DIDN'T!!!


Lawsuit time!

Sovereign Court

Take my advice, don't have Bleached Otyugh as your attorney and pray you don't draw me to oversee the hearing, I'm the original 'Hanging Judge'.

Scarab Sages

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Whereas GoatToucher honored his estranged ex-master with his own innovation, becoming the original "Autoasphyxiating Judge."


People call me the Judgmental Judge. Or rather, they did before I sentenced them to ten years in the Unicorn Mines.

Scarab Sages

Before THAT, they called him "Vampin' Ventnor Va-Va-Va-VOOM" - Burlesque Dragon Xtraordinaire!!!


ME HUNGRY JUDGE. JUDGE GLOFFY. GOTS SOME JUDGE? HUUUNGRIES...

Scarab Sages

Have you met The Right Honorable Judge Fudge?


1 person marked this as a favorite.

I heard a rumor MoltenDragon met judge Julie.

So what was your crime, MD?


You are all invited to the reading of the will of my father's paladin friend.

As for evidence that I shot him, you have none.


That was funny - thanks for sharing. =)
Oh, yeah, I WIN!


Ah.. Good, good Uri Meca, you are just in time for the trial of Safety Bear. You'll be the executioner!!!


1 person marked this as a favorite.

It is unfortunately that Safety Bear cannot dance when he wants to, nor can he leave his friends behind. Because his friends don't dance, and if they do not dance, then they cannot be friends of mine.

The prosecution rests.


Ventnor wrote:

It is unfortunately that Safety Bear cannot dance when he wants to, nor can he leave his friends behind. Because his friends don't dance, and if they do not dance, then they cannot be friends of mine.

The prosecution rests.

Wait, you're the prosecution and the judge?! Nine Hells, I guess I made a major boo-boo not getting Safety Bear to take the plea deal... being sentenced to Rura Penthe to mine unicorns is pretty harsh for stealing pic-a-nic baskets.


He will be out in half the time anyway.


If he signed the contract, yes.

He could be in for a lot longer otherwise.


I intend to appeal!

Sorry, appall.


Yes, you are.


The Fiend Fantastic wrote:

I heard a rumor MoltenDragon met judge Julie.

So what was your crime, MD?

My crimes are various and sundry. Most if not all,involve port-a-johns, inhumane treatment of squid folk and authentic replica forgeries of stuffed animals.

Sovereign Court

So, what I get up to on my Tuesday nights, cool!


I thought we outlawed Tuesday?


Would you say that Batman is an effective detective?

Scarab Sages

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Is Mr. Freeze a chillin' villain?

Does the Riddler use his brain to do legerdemain?

Might the Joker have tricked us with his rictus?


Does the UltraSodomite enter your colon 'til it's swollen?

Does the legendary Dr. Dingle use his unit to ruin it?

Will Phil the Kraken fill the crack in?

Is it the destiny of The Mighty Manpiece to use his conker to conquer?

These questions and more will be answered in this month's GoatToucher Comics #5!


I'll pass on the comic, but I will take the WIN!

Sovereign Court

Um, Schism, you might want to look out for...

*Gets interrupted as GoatToucher's new (friend?, pet?) Jambi launches at Schism from out of nowhere and attacks relentlessly until Jambi runs off, leaving Schism badly scarred and lying on the floor completely comatose.*

Yeah, it's now mandatory to buy GoatToucher Comics or else.

*Quickly runs to the nearest shop to buy the entire collection of comics.*


Ventnor wrote:
I thought we outlawed Tuesday?

Tuesday's gone with the wind.


Nigel Tufnel, Guitar Wizard wrote:
Ventnor wrote:
I thought we outlawed Tuesday?
Tuesday's gone with the wind.

Today is Untuesday.

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