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Non Sequitur Camel, do you use pre or post -wash conditioner on your hair?


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Asmodeus' Advocate wrote:
Non Sequitur Camel, do you use pre or post -wash conditioner?

Why did the elves name Glamdring "The Foe Hammer"? It's not a hammer, it's a frickin' sword.


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1d4 ⇒ 2 goblin babies ask, "Who's that at the door?" {presses doorbell button hidden on desk}


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{dances (terribly) through thread, exits stage left}


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Neighs triumphantly, spawning three new Australian cookies and hitting Brad Pitt in the testies.


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One lump or two, Vicar?


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No tea for me, thanks. It gives me a headache.


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1d4 Goblin Babies wrote:
1d4 goblin babies ask, "Who's that at the door?" {presses doorbell button hidden on desk}
Cook wrote:

There’s a third concept that we took from Magic-style rules design, though. Only with six years of hindsight do I call the concept “Ivory Tower Game Design.” (Perhaps a bit of misnomer, but it’s got a ring to it.) This is the approach we took in 3rd Edition: basically just laying out the rules without a lot of advice or help. This strategy relates tangentially to the second point above. The idea here is that the game just gives the rules, and players figure out the ins and outs for themselves — players are rewarded for achieving mastery of the rules and making good choices rather than poor ones.

Perhaps as is obvious from the name I’ve coined for this rules writing style, I no longer think this is entirely a good idea. I was just reading a passage from a recent book, and I found it rather obtuse. But it wasn’t the writer’s fault. He was just following the lead the core books offered him. Nevertheless, the whole thing would have been much better if the writer had just broken through the barrier this kind of design sets up between designer and player and just told the reader what the heck he was talking about.
To continue to use the simplistic example above, the Toughness feat could have been written to make it clear that it was for 1st-level elf wizards (where it is likely to give them a 100 percent increase in hit points). It’s also handy when you know you’re playing a one-shot session with 1st-level characters, like at a convention (you sure don’t want to take item creation feats in such an instance, for example).
Ivory Tower Game Design requires a two-step process on the part of the reader. You read the rule, and then you think about how it fits in with the rest of the game. There’s a moment of understanding, and then a moment of comprehension. That’s not a terrible thing, but neither is just providing the reader with both steps, at least some of the time.


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So, this guy walks into a fast food joint. And he sees a pirate sitting at one of the tables. A big, scary pirate with a scary pirate hat and a scary pirate beard, resplendent in pirate garb and equipped with an eye patch, a hook hand, and a peg leg.

Looking closer at the pirate, the guy realizes that he knows the pirate! The went to high school together.

Sitting at the table, the guy says, "Dave? It's been forever!"

The pirate says, "Aye, that be my name, though most be calling me Captain Piratebeard these days."

"Wow," quoth the guy. "We have got to catch up. Say, where did you get that peg leg?"

Captain Piratebeard shakes his head furiously, remembering. "A shark bit it off!" he exclaims.

"Sounds painful. And that hook for a hand, what happened there?"

"Lost it in battle!" exclaims the grizzled pirate.

"Oof. Tough luck. What about the eye patch? What's the story behind that?"

"Uh . . ." Captain Piratebeard looks uncomfortable. "To tell ye the truth, a seagull pooped in me eye."

The guy winces sympathetically. "Ow. But I don't see that you'd lose the eye."

"But ye see, 'twas my first day with the hook."


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Non Sequitur Camel,

Gunter glieben glauten globen?


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Do we need another of these?


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Shambling Hemp Mound wrote:

Non Sequitur Camel,

Gunter glieben glauten globen?

Waffeln schmecken wie waffeln!

Geezer with no time for this wrote:
Do we need another of these?

Am I the only person who thinks trees look more like dinosaurs than birds do? That can’t be coincidental.


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How many beans make five?

How many of the elite Presidential Bean Guard make five?

What does Dave Brubeck think about all this?


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Lord President Beans wrote:

How many beans make five?

How many of the elite Presidential Bean Guard make five?

What does Dave Brubeck think about all this?

Take Five.


Five is taken.

What about, "six," though?


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Dear NSC,

Why is Gamora?


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What is the sound of red?


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Spacecaptain Pillbug Lebowski wrote:

Dear NSC,

Why is Gamora?

Have you ever read Unsounded? Awesomecool art, spectacular story. Highly recommend.


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Selene Spires wrote:
What is the sound of red?

Isn’t it weird that people are made of meat? Cats too.


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Do I smell marmosets?


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Non Sequitur Camel wrote:
Selene Spires wrote:
What is the sound of red?
Isn’t it weird that people are made of meat? Cats too.

So...

People are Cats...

Cats are People...


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Non Sequitur Camel wrote:
Isn’t it weird that people are made of meat?

Are you sure you're not Carl the Llama?


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Non Sequitur Camel wrote:
Selene Spires wrote:
What is the sound of red?
Isn’t it weird that people are made of meat? Cats too.

How can they be made of meat if they're full of s*!@.

Unless, they're the bottom feeders of land...


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We simply MUST watch more Micronians have couplings, it's the only way to be sure.


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Wannabe Demon Lord wrote:
Do I smell marmosets?

*opens Firefox to find out what Marmosets smell like*

EDIT

Musky, apparently. They scent-mark their territory.


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Actual Cannibal Shia LaBeouf wrote:
Non Sequitur Camel wrote:
Isn’t it weird that people are made of meat?
Are you sure you're not Carl the Llama?

*wonders if mentioning Charlie the Unicorn is too close to being a sequitur, decides to play it safe and link to a Wikipedia article on swear words instead*

LINK


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Crab battle!

By the rough beast, it’s been twelve years . . . I feel old.


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Bees?


Yabbuts.


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Vanykrye wrote:
Bees?

You know how some superheros are named after animals, like Batman or Antman or Squirrelgirl?

I've invented a superhero of my own. Herculesbeetleperson. With all the proportionate speed and strength of a hercules beetle!

Speaking of proportionate strength, that's really just a misunderstanding of the squared cubed law. It's entertaining to note that Elephantperson would probably be weaker and slower than just regular Humanbloke. (No hard numbers on elephant abilities, though. I mean, I could probably find them, but . . . eh.)

That said, how was everyone's American Excess Day? Did you enjoy being a mindless consumerist in a absurdly wealthy nation as much as I did?


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Can anybody swim in this mudpuddle or is it just for the smart kids?


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A couple hours ago, a bunch of the dumb kids tried to make mud angels at the bottom of the puddle. I think they're all still down there.


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Give them several hundred thousand years and they'll evolve gills, just like I did!


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I just sat down by the seaside singing about dreams and s!+~ with my hair blowing in the breeze and viola, fins, gills, and some dickbag lobster nanny.


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"Aquapulg" is Jethro Longears's most overrated song.


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My laptop computer just randomly moves my cursor to other sentences while I'm typing.


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Oswald the Dirty and Smelly wrote:
Can anybody swim in this mudpuddle or is it just for the smart kids?

*glances around furtively, looking for smart kids*


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Nigel Tufnel, Guitar Wizard wrote:
"Aquapulg" is Jethro Longears's most overrated song.

Swimming in a coral reef (dur dur durdur)

Causing little fish to come to grief...


But... pinto beans?


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Tacticslion wrote:
But... pinto beans?

Are you implying that pinto beans exist?


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I accidentally rear-ended a can of pinto beans, blew up half the store.


Non Sequitur Camel wrote:
Tacticslion wrote:
But... pinto beans?
Are you implying that pinto beans exist?

Well, I mean... if you go by the myths...?


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Pinto beans do exist and in the land that I am from, they are considered a magical fruit.
*Beans, beans a musical fruit the more you eat the more you toot*
This is a great secret of my people, those with the deepest voices win!!!


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Fireman Gob Montag wrote:
I accidentally rear-ended a can of pinto beans, blew up half the store.

So did I, only it wasn't an accident. The nurses were very understanding, though, and overall, it wasn't as bad as the Catering Size Tub of Chili Sauce Incident.


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Lemon Febreeze.


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Lemon Frisbee?
What is that, you see I have a sheltered existence?
You smart kids know so much and speak in riddles.


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https://xkcd.com/2079/


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Non Sequitur Camel wrote:
https://xkcd.com/2079/

That pizza is really good, tho.


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When I was growing up, things were better! You didn’t have to work hard just to pay bills! You could poop wherever you liked and people would clean it up! And whenever you screamed, someone put boobs in your face and food came out of them.

And in those days, boobs were as big as yer head!


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I can not remember back that far, and boobs as big as your head are overrated.

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