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54) "Alright, it's the robot's turn again."
"Hey, it just went! I haven't gotten a turn yet!"
"Dual initiative."
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re 51: so, is she a Vampire, a Succubus, or a Calistrian? (And do any of those answers affect how doomed you are?)That'd be left up to the DM's discretion. :)
She could be any one of those.
Could be all three. ;)
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55.
GM: "Roll me a perception check."
Player: *rolls" 35.
GM: "Huh...okay, you don't see anything."
56. Veiled masters. Could be anywhere. Anyone. Another PC, even. Trust no one.
57. Statues. Especially ones with bleeding eyes.
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58) "after inspecting the closest statue,
you look up and find that a number of the angelic statutes on the far side of the alter now appear to have moved closer to you.... focusing back at the statue you were just inspecting, it seems as if it must have raised one of its arms while you weren't looking.... roll your various knowledge checks, please! okay - Billy, i need you tho make a fortitude save right now, to NOT BLINK."
60. OK, everyone has a backup character right?
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61) GM: "Hey guys. Sorry I had to miss the last couple sessions. Speaking of which, I want you to meet my girlfriend - she's going to be joining us from now on. Nown she's never played before, so be patient, but I've helped her make a character that I think she will enjoy playing. Its an awakened pony packlord druid... what did you say her nane was, sweetie? that's right, Fluttershy"
they might not say it out loud. but i guarantee they will be thinking it.
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62) Somebody roll me a d100
31. Take all the d6s in your box of dice. Count them, then tell the players you need all of theirs tooI did that once when a BBEG killed our fighter with a disintegrate. The player bought me a set of 40 d6s for next time out of amusement and spite.
I'm glad I use a VTT for this kinda thing! and also in general for high lvl mythic play - all enemies have 5-10 attacks. I cast Mythic meteor swarm yesterday and rolled 44d10+8d6 dmg + 4 attacks + 2d4 for neg lvls from a mythic creature's thing - glad I didn't have to roll 58 dice and have to keep them in 6 separate pools then add them all!
Edit: also pretty sure if I was playing in person there probably wouldn't be that many d10s at the table!| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
"You hear the laughter of a little girl somewhere in the room."
"Out of curiosity, you all have ranks in Swim, right?"
Player 1: *rolls dice for some sort of saving throw*
GM: *Looks at result. Looks at hidden chart. Looks at dice again* Huh. Okay, well, if the rest of you wouldn't mind rolling Will saves?
L5R-Specific: "All right everybody, roll Earth."
GM: "You see a goblin and hear dance music beginning to play. The goblin then begins to strip and gyrate."
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68: DM: Your monk hits the goblin; roll for damage.
Player: (rolls) 8! Max damage. With my bonuses, that comes to 10 points of damage! Yeah!! (fist pumps)
DM: Your foot connects with the goblin's face and it grins maniacally back at you. You don't seem to have injured it at all.
Player: A goblin?!!?!? WTF???
(From an actual Basic D&D game session. The goblin was part of a magically berserk Wild Hunt. I had it drop dead to the ground on its next action, but it really freaked my players out.)
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Cole's post contained four different ones, so I make Adam's 67.
69 "And as you jump down into the pit, you realise that the reason the sword was floating wasn't that it was magic, it was because it was suspended inside a gelatinous cube."
70 "I didn't say a White Dragon. I said a Wight Dragon."
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71. Ask them to spell 'offering'.
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72. GM: *smiles* What's the worst that can happen.
73. "Are you sure you want to do that?" (Especially if they're doing something that seems completely innocuous, like knocking on a door, crossing a bridge, or eating the food at an inn.)
74. Describe step by step what are you doing, and how you do it, pointing in the map exactly how you move.
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75. Incorporeal undead swarm.
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76. Incorporeal undead swarm plus silence effect to shut down all spellcasters.
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Incorporeal swarm of diminutive constructs with hardness? in an antimagic field?
77. Player of a buffed up martial character: "I attack the monster... (rolls) 41! (cheers from the rest of the group for the good roll)... That's 34 damage."
GM: "No, sorry, you miss."
At level 8.
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78: Anything that doesn't constitute a playable race in Shadow of the Demonlord.
Gm: You see a 3m tall, hunched humanoid figure...
Players: Run away!!!
Gm: Out of the mist looms a...
Player: Does it have any kind of mythological connotation?
Gm:Well yea maybe...
Players: Heck no! Screw you monster, I'ma going home!
Gm: The smallish cavern seem to be the home of a family of giant badgers...
Players: *offers payers to the new God*
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79. GM: There's a door ahead.
Rogue: I check for Traps. ... Looks like a 34 after bonuses.
GM: You look the door over, but do not FIND any traps. Do you want to open the door?
81: Alright, roll a fort save. *waits for the roll* You failed. take 1d4 points of Constitution drain. Now I need five more fort saves...
82. Player reads a note passed to him by a mysterious person. Fails will save. Is forced to read aloud, "Oh f-".
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if you go with see then that opens the player up to asking if they can smell/hear a trap if you say they cant see oneI usually go with "see" as it's slightly more paranoia inducing.79. GM: There's a door ahead.
Rogue: I check for Traps. ... Looks like a 34 after bonuses.
GM: You look the door over, but do not FIND any traps. Do you want to open the door?
Then you give a thin smile and say "Not that you know of."
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if you go with see then that opens the player up to asking if they can smell/hear a trap if you say they cant see oneI usually go with "see" as it's slightly more paranoia inducing.79. GM: There's a door ahead.
Rogue: I check for Traps. ... Looks like a 34 after bonuses.
GM: You look the door over, but do not FIND any traps. Do you want to open the door?
GM: Do you have any bonuses to hearing-based or smell-based perception checks?
Player: <in a sad voice> No.
GM: <with a slight tilt of the head> Then no.... you don't.
83. When the characters encounter a sand storm in the desert, which they know is created by some sort of mummy guardian who's roaming the desert, and when said characters enter the storm in the hopes of claiming some shiny items from the mummy... have that mummy fly, cast spells and command a legion of undead (i.e. about 40 skeletons and 5 skeletal champions with spellcasting). At 7th level.
Most successful use of mythic templates ever (for me) :)
86. 1stPC "I don't feel good!!!" 2ndPC "I can tell. You ate some of those bio-lumenscent mushrooms back there didn't you? " 1stPC "How can you tell?" 2ndPC "Let's say, the moon won't be the only thing lit up tonight."
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87. <ten minutes after PCs have passed through a shimmering portal>
GM: "As you begin to prepare for battle, you notice that that your extra-dimensional space items are inaccessible. Haversacks, gloves of storing, bags of holding, and magic quivers won't open for you."
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88. GM: Your ship has been sailing in calm seas for the past two days. the weather looks good. You should be able to to get back to your village in time to save them.
-
five minutes later after some benign interactions with npcs on the ship...
-
GM: A dark mist settles around your ship. The man in the crow's nest shouts "HARD A PORT! HARD A PORT!" and the captain shouts to the crew "Drop the starboard main brace! Haul the port! Do it now, ya gobs!" as he turns the ships wheel to to the left and the entire ship lurches around. "Land Ho!" the Barrelman hollers. The caltain yells back "Check yer eyes ya bloody cockroach - we's a 5 miles off a the nearest shore!". As the ship finishes its hard turn, you hear a horrifying grating sound of wood scraping against rock, and the constant swaying feeling of the oceans waves cease. The black mist begins to lift, and you find your ship is perched atop a black stone mountain. As the mist clears further, all you see are mountains... range after range... as far as your eyes can see.
-
This happened to me last night. We all said "Oh F--"
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Nice, talk about fish out of water. :)
88. GM: Your ship has been sailing in calm seas for the past two days. the weather looks good. You should be able to to get back to your village in time to save them.
-
five minutes later after some benign interactions with npcs on the ship...
-
GM: A dark mist settles around your ship. The man in the crow's nest shouts "HARD A PORT! HARD A PORT!" and the captain shouts to the crew "Drop the starboard main brace! Haul the port! Do it now, ya gobs!" as he turns the ships wheel to to the left and the entire ship lurches around. "Land Ho!" the Barrelman hollers. The caltain yells back "Check yer eyes ya bloody cockroach - we's a 5 miles off a the nearest shore!". As the ship finishes its hard turn, you hear a horrifying grating sound of wood scraping against rock, and the constant swaying feeling of the oceans waves cease. The black mist begins to lift, and you find your ship is perched atop a black stone mountain. As the mist clears further, all you see are mountains... range after range... as far as your eyes can see.
-
This happened to me last night. We all said "Oh F--"
Totally stealing this.
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61) GM: "Hey guys. Sorry I had to miss the last couple sessions. Speaking of which, I want you to meet my girlfriend - she's going to be joining us from now on. Nown she's never played before, so be patient, but I've helped her make a character that I think she will enjoy playing. Its an awakened pony packlord druid... what did you say her nane was, sweetie? that's right, Fluttershy"
they might not say it out loud. but i guarantee they will be thinking it.
oh god... the nightmares
89. "Hey guys,a new book came out and it has lot of sea creatures soo the next few games are going to be on a boat. but it came with this nice aqua blue map.
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90) PC: "I'm sneaking past the dragon... and I got +35 on Stealth"
*PC rolls a 1*
GM: "A stalagtite cracks, falls and rumbles... and the dragon wakes"
PC: "Hey! I got way over the DC!"
GM: "You didn't wake it up, it's just a coincidence"
PC: "Oh F-"
This isn't 101 different ways...
36) I need everyone's flatfooted touch AC.
So basically 10 (11 if small) + deflection bonuses?
This isn't 101 different ways...
I agree with Gaurwaith.
89? When you look up and see a dust cloud tower over you spanning from horizon to horizon.
think about 90% of pcs would just murder hobo it instantly and say ah hell naw instead of oh f-oh god... the nightmares61) GM: "Hey guys. Sorry I had to miss the last couple sessions. Speaking of which, I want you to meet my girlfriend - she's going to be joining us from now on. Nown she's never played before, so be patient, but I've helped her make a character that I think she will enjoy playing. Its an awakened pony packlord druid... what did you say her nane was, sweetie? that's right, Fluttershy"
they might not say it out loud. but i guarantee they will be thinking it.
If reasonably well portrayed, Fluttershy shouldn't be a problem for most groups. Medium quadruped with wings (mobility solved with the added bonus of increased carry capacity), perhaps a druid with a variety of useful spells and a Perform (sing)-based archetype of some sort providing thematic bardic performances.